Little Eye On The Provinces

[nicknack]

Man bites cock.

[Jaded]

Man bites cock.

That's gnawful.

[Morrisette]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

[tiermat]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

So that's what Wobbly John has been up to this week

[rogerzilla]

Doorbell broken in Swindon.  Think of the children pensioners.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10688077.Broken_doorbell_puts_us_at_risk__says_OAP/

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/edinburgh-sauna-owners-name-and-shame-threat-1-3105302

[PeteB99]

Alien life discovered just outside Chester

http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/chester-cheshire-news/alien-life-discovered-just-outside-6066606

Actually 27 km into space so 'just outside' everywhere really

[Thor]

Woman falls over, delays traffic.

[pcolbeck]

Police look for driver after massacre of ducks

[andrewc]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

It's all happening down in Cambridgeshire....

Bondage fear at Trumpington Village Hall sparks event cancellation

[Regulator]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

It's all happening down in Cambridgeshire....

Bondage fear at Trumpington Village Hall sparks event cancellation

Damn!  That's my plans for the 12 October borked then.

[Kim]

http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_express/news/wallaby-stops-traffic-in-pluckley-6744/

[Cudzoziemiec]

He knew his onions
Ok, maybe not so provincial, but the essential information is missing - did he swipe his Nectar card?

[Jaded]

Mr Long’s solicitor Angus Mathieson told the Old Bailey: “It was a stupid thing he has done. He was not getting a stupid amount, not substituting champagne or anything like that, but just getting an avocado and claiming it was an onion.”

To hell with cake - let then eat avocados!

[Cudzoziemiec]

Avocados are essential.

[Jaded]

Not a lot of detail here

[tubbycyclist]

Puntastic


http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Branston-pickle-lorry-crashes-near-Cheddar/story-19882485-detail/story.html

[Kim]

ITV couldn't even be bothered to get a photograph:

http://www.itv.com/news/update/2013-10-03/branston-pickle-disaster-hits-cheddar/

[Feanor]

Highland man wins porridge competition:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-24414935

[HTFB]

Mr Boa, who formerly lived in Edinburgh but now lives on Skye, said the trick to producing a world-class porridge was to "keep stirring", using a spurtle - a rod-shaped tool, traditionally used to stir porridge.

[Basil]

Oh no.  How will I know what I'm stuffing into my face?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

Nestle has won a court battle with confectionery rival Cadbury, over Cadbury's attempt to trademark the purple colour of its Dairy Milk bars.

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?

[Basil]

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?

Don't bother.  I've already been corrected by Mrs. B.
To tell the truth, it's quite a shock.  They've been blue all my life.
What the hell is the name of the colour that I call purple, then? 

[Kim]

Oh no.  How will I know what I'm stuffing into my face?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

Nestle has won a court battle with confectionery rival Cadbury, over Cadbury's attempt to trademark the purple colour of its Dairy Milk bars.

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?

Yeah, it's one of the blues that's actually purple.  I have the same problem.

Thing about having dodgy colour perception, when an object's colour is completely arbitrary^[1] you won't think to question what you're seeing unless it comes up in conversation.


(The pedant in me wants to point out that Dairy Milk bars are in fact brown.)


_{[1] The corollary to that is where things have well-known colours which you'll override your common sense for, such as banananas^[2] (which I recently discovered are green^[3] when unripe).
[2] AIUI, the proper colour change of a ripe banana takes place in the UV spectrum, and us humans are just winging it.
[3] Actual green, not the green that I see yellow bananas as and generally call 'yellow'.}

[Kim]

What the hell is the name of the colour that I call purple, then? 

Can't speak for your colour vision, but the colours that I identify as purple are a subset of purples at the redder end of the spectrum - those at the bluer end just get lumped in with the blues.  That's usually how these things work.

[Basil]

Thing about having dodgy colour perception, when an object's colour is completely arbitrary you won't think to question what you're seeing unless it comes up in conversation.

Well isn't that the truth?  We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised.  Good to know that in all that time we've never struggled so much for a topic of conversation as to descend to a discussion on the colour of chocolate wrappers.