Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces  (Read 374856 times)

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #900 on: 03 July, 2015, 01:52:42 pm »
Victim surcharge? Was there a licensed tissue seller who was undercut or something?

It's not case-sepcific, but a general tax on being a criminal that goes into a kitty that funds victim support organisations.

mcshroom

  • Mushroom
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #901 on: 03 July, 2015, 03:58:19 pm »
Local Parish council decides to moan about Sportive - two months after the event ???
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/home/bad-behaviour-overshadows-cycling-event-1.1221205
Climbs like a sprinter, sprints like a climber!

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #902 on: 03 July, 2015, 04:13:17 pm »
They meet every two months.
It is simpler than it looks.

Thor

  • Super-sonnicus idioticus
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #903 on: 07 July, 2015, 03:54:18 pm »
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.
It was a day like any other in Ireland, only it wasn't raining


Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #905 on: 08 July, 2015, 09:06:44 am »
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Guy

  • Retired
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #906 on: 08 July, 2015, 09:57:01 am »
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.

It prevented the slightly more unusual "BEE SWARM CAUGHT STEALING BICYCLE" headline.
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #907 on: 08 July, 2015, 10:35:12 am »
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.
OTP?  :D
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Ruthie

  • Her Majester
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #908 on: 12 July, 2015, 07:58:41 am »
Not so much the story itself ...

As the quote, in full, from the 'bystander'.  I'm still chuckling.

Quote
A woman walking her dog in the area, who did not want to be named, said: “I don’t know what’s happened.

“The first I knew about it was when my son came home from college and asked ‘Have you been out with the dog yet?’ I said no not yet and he said it was all taped off by police.

“I had a look on Facebook and that but haven’t seen anything about it.”

Milk please, no sugar.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #910 on: 14 July, 2015, 11:50:02 am »
Couple's suburban banananana plant does not die.
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb

The pedant in me disputes that this plant was 'discovered' by the couple.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #911 on: 14 July, 2015, 12:30:58 pm »
Couple's suburban banananana plant does not die.
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb

The pedant in me disputes that this plant was 'discovered' by the couple.

I don't think it's the plant they "discovered" it's the fact it is bearing fruit...
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #912 on: 14 July, 2015, 01:02:27 pm »
It's certainly a magnificent triffid!

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #913 on: 14 July, 2015, 01:06:04 pm »
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Mini-driver-smashes-fish-van-pleasuring-sex-toy/story-26891651-detail/story.html

Glad to see that ended (relatively) well.

This one didn't:

http://www.crawleynews.co.uk/Driver-accused-causing-death-Lisa-Watling-crash/story-26893064-detail/story.html
Quote
“He said on the return journey Miss Watling said she was feeling horny and started doing things she shouldn’t have been.

“He said she put her bottom on the dashboard and went to climb across him but stressed while he didn’t have a full view of the road that he was in control.

“He told police that he did not view her behaviour as being sexual in any way and that he did not engage with her.

There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #914 on: 14 July, 2015, 01:17:07 pm »
Normal for Norfolk, alive and well.
 I couldn't knit a whole one, either

I think we may have to visit.

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #916 on: 14 July, 2015, 09:01:45 pm »
No link, because the online version of our local rag hasn't published it, but the headline today is

Quote
MP: MOVE THE HOMELESS OFF OUR BEACH

That MP is the very unlovely James Duddridge. Since when the beach stopped being a public place I don't know.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #917 on: 15 July, 2015, 11:51:54 am »
Exciting sandals.

(click to show/hide)
It is simpler than it looks.

Guy

  • Retired
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #918 on: 15 July, 2015, 01:00:40 pm »
Exciting sandals.

(click to show/hide)
Quote
The mum-of-two has refused to touch the shoes or the five-inch purple Durex vibrator, because the kinky love instrument appeared to have been used.

So why does every picture show her holding the offending article?
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #919 on: 15 July, 2015, 01:07:09 pm »
Hey, we need a picture here - what's the story about?  Vibrator, woman.  Right, picture of vibrator and woman.  Hold on, we've got 30 words here, the readers may be struggling a bit, grab us another picture.  Vibrator, woman, picture of.  Right, where were we?  Oh yes, a few more words.  Hard work this.  Any chance of another picture, so the reader will follow the story?  Go on then: picture of vibrator and woman.  And we have a response from Amazon.  Pretty tedious, TBH.  Go on, give us a last picture of vibrator and woman to break that up.  Ta.  I'm wasted in this job.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #920 on: 15 July, 2015, 01:48:30 pm »
Also the paper only gave one side of the story.

Somewhere there is an Amazon packer missing a vibrator and a pubic hair.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #921 on: 15 July, 2015, 02:15:33 pm »
Exciting sandals.

(click to show/hide)
Quote
The mum-of-two has refused to touch the shoes or the five-inch purple Durex vibrator, because the kinky love instrument appeared to have been used.

So why does every picture show her holding the offending article?
While wearing rubber gloves.
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

Vince

  • Can't climb; won't climb
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #922 on: 15 July, 2015, 04:26:22 pm »
I wish I could get batteries to last that long.

Did I just type that out loud?
216km from Marsh Gibbon


Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #924 on: 17 July, 2015, 01:51:21 pm »
And you thought they were a bit limited in Norfolk. Welcome to Suffolk

Hmm

"Det Insp Hood said two men, aged 27 and 31, had been charged with attempted robbery and would appear before Ipswich magistrates in the morning. One was named locally last night as Jack Meoff."

The spirit of Viz is not dead, it seems.
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?