Errors that make you cringe

[Kim]

Or that one where Alan Turing broke the Enigma code, in between bouts of gratuitous heterosexuality.  I forget the name...

[Tim Hall]

There's a difference I think between changing stuff to make the narrative work (for example putting the US Navy front and centre in the efforts to capture an Enigma machine) and plain Getting Stuff Wrong (using a 737-800 on a transatlantic flight where a 767 would be a correct choice).

I've not seen Volcano. Is it Bad Science to make the story work, plain Bad Science which if corrected would still have a working tale?

[Diver300]

A old one was in Hart to Hart ( https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0597299/ this episode, I think). Jonathan Hart uses a red phone box which has the normal payphone for the time in it, one of these:- https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jetZVISLXes/UmkY6G6PZlI/AAAAAAAABFM/FILBMIObtBc/s1600/Payphone_11.jpg

For those of you old enough to remember, to use those, the number was dialed, the connection was made and then money was inserted. The TV show had Jonathan Hart lift the receiver, insert money and then dial the number, which was physically impossible as a bar would prevent the coin going in the whole way.

Some American idiot had gone out of their way to modify a phone box to make it work like an American one and propagate disinformation for any tourists visiting the UK.

Ah, those were the new UK pay phones.  The ones I remember had Button A on the front and Button B on the side.  You put your 3d in then dialled, and when the other end answered you pressed Button A, your money fell into the box and your mike became live.  If you didn't get an answer you pressed Button B instead and got your money back.  Two things I remember as well: my mum grumbling when it went up to 4d, and going down a line of phone boxes pressing the Button B's in case anyone had forgotten to.  4d could get you a quarter of sweets.

Probably they hadn't modified a payphone, just mocked up a British phone box with a Usanian phone inside. (I'm presuming it was shot in a Hollywood studio. If it was a British series, then it's just weird, and not in a good way.)

IIRC, it was shot outside with London Tower bridge in the background. The phone didn't need to be functional for TV program.

[spesh]

There's a difference I think between changing stuff to make the narrative work (for example putting the US Navy front and centre in the efforts to capture an Enigma machine) and plain Getting Stuff Wrong (using a 737-800 on a transatlantic flight where a 767 would be a correct choice).

I've not seen Volcano. Is it Bad Science to make the story work, plain Bad Science which if corrected would still have a working tale?

Easiest if I quote how Volcano fulfils the Artistic Licence - Geology TV Trope:

California is a geologically complex place with many centers of volcanic activity, but most of them aren't anywhere near the Los Angeles Basin. The closest volcanic rocks are millions of years old from long extinct volcanic activity, and the Los Angeles area has no volcanoes active or even recently extinct, with no volcanic activity anticipated in the foreseeable future of human presence.

And of course, the La Brea Tar Pits are in a deep sedimentary basin associated with a transform boundary, and for bonus points, they are tar pits. The LA basin is also full of oil wells. Petroleum deposits cannot form geologically in the presence of volcanic activity anywhere in the vicinity; you can't have oil, tar, and volcanoes in the same place, period.

This volcano erupts only two products - volcanic ash and fluid lava. Deadly gas makes only a brief appearance and never on the surface. In reality sulfur dioxide, which even minor eruptions emit in quantities measured in megatons, is a NFPA Level 3 toxin.

There's also the scene where they block and deal with the main lava flow, they also sprayed water into the volcano’s vent directly to pacify it. In reality, if you tried to cool down a volcano, then you would most likely make the eruption phreatic¹  or phreatomagmatic₂. Which considering that these types of eruptions are a crapton more dangerous than plain lava eruptions, you would pretty much be asking for Los Angeles to be leveled by pyroclastic base surges.³

Things that are dropped on or in a lava flow don't sink. Yes, the lava is red-hot and yes it will melt metal or consume other matter, but despite being liquid, it is still rock and just as dense as that word implies. Ironically, the scene where Roark blocks the lava with k-rails averts this, as its shown that the several foot deep river of lava has enough mass to slightly push back the concrete berms and the fire trucks keeping them in place. Which it would, since it's probably several dozen tons.

The volcano in question also forms itself impossibly quickly when lava does break through to the surface full force, growing to full size in literally a handful of scenes. While a volcano may be quick when it forms itself, it takes at least a few hours if not a few days for one to build up to the size shown so quickly. This one takes only 12-13 seconds.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/Volcano

¹ basically, an explosion of steam
² steam expansion causes the magma itself to explode outwards
³ this strategy did work during the eruption of Heimaey in Iceland in 1973 - enough seawater was pumped onto a moving lava flow to create a solid wall and divert the flow, saving the harbour, although unlike in the film, they had enough sense to not spray the erupting vent itself down.

[Diver300]

Modification could be little more than a Mk 1 bit of gaffer tape to prevent the receiver depressing the hook switch.  Start a call, 'hang up', film the scene as per the script, remove gaffer tape.

Having tracked it down on Youtube, I've found that it was mainly done with sound effects, so no phone call required and the foley artist in California having never been to the UK.

[Kim]

There's a difference I think between changing stuff to make the narrative work (for example putting the US Navy front and centre in the efforts to capture an Enigma machine) and plain Getting Stuff Wrong (using a 737-800 on a transatlantic flight where a 767 would be a correct choice).

I've not seen Volcano. Is it Bad Science to make the story work, plain Bad Science which if corrected would still have a working tale?

It's about a volcano appearing in downtown Los Angeles, so definitely the former.  Also the entire cast (with the possible exception of the Dead Lesbian), along with the visual effects team, have no idea what lava is.  Pesumably because they've all had their understanding of plate tectonics, which you'd think would be above-average in Californians, written out in order to make the story work.

[Kim]

Modification could be little more than a Mk 1 bit of gaffer tape to prevent the receiver depressing the hook switch.  Start a call, 'hang up', film the scene as per the script, remove gaffer tape.

Having tracked it down on Youtube, I've found that it was mainly done with sound effects, so no phone call required and the foley artist in California having never been to the UK.

That makes a lot more sense.  They're the people who give us dialtones when people hang up, the handbrake ratchet when people 'park' automatic transmissions, and that horse sound every time there's a horse.

[hubner]

People flying backwards up in the air after being shot with a gun, eg The Day of the Jackal.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Modification could be little more than a Mk 1 bit of gaffer tape to prevent the receiver depressing the hook switch.  Start a call, 'hang up', film the scene as per the script, remove gaffer tape.

Having tracked it down on Youtube, I've found that it was mainly done with sound effects, so no phone call required and the foley artist in California having never been to the UK.

That makes a lot more sense.  They're the people who give us dialtones when people hang up, the handbrake ratchet when people 'park' automatic transmissions, and that horse sound every time there's a horse.

And coconuts that neigh. Which as we all know is completely wrong if it's an African swallow.

[Pingu]

The Cleaner - that was a tawny wol call and you showed a barn wol 

Astrid: Murder in Paris - the same thing 

[Mr Larrington]

Just watched Le Mans '66.  Christian Bale's dodgy Wet Midlands accent was just the tip of a very large iceberg

[Steph]

I have previously mentioned the story I read some years ago where people living in Newcastle upon Tyne eat rutabaga and eggplant while their city is south of York.

I will also offer the scene at the start of 'Atonement' where the main characters are overflown by a Lancaster bomber.

And the 'Rough Guide to Normandy', in which the gliders that landed at Pegasus Bridge after being towed across the Channel by Halifax bombers (among other tug planes) were instead launched, presumably by a very large number of elastic bands, from the cruiser HMS Halifax, lying six miles offshore.

[mrcharly-YHT]

A book, where early on it graphically describes how the main character was present when a family were killed by a car bomb, and the smell of them burning meant he couldn't stand roast meat.

Later on, the same character is attending a barbecue, and the smell of roast pork makes his mouth water.

(yes, I know people change, but the timeline is less than a year).

[citoyen]

The Cleaner - that was a tawny wol call and you showed a barn wol 

Astrid: Murder in Paris - the same thing 

But didn't you know that in televisionland *all* wols go twit-twoo?

[Pingu]

The Cleaner - that was a tawny wol call and you showed a barn wol 

Astrid: Murder in Paris - the same thing 

But didn't you know that in televisionland *all* wols go twit-twoo?

And all frogs go ribbit.

[Efrogwr]

"Snow white turtle doves" in a bloody tedious pop song in the seventies.

[Beardy]

I’m watching some award winning cheese fest from Denmark about woodland elves. It’s entreating enough for a Friday night, but the island setting has island appears to have roads that are made of elastic, either that or the director is more concerned with narrative necessity than consistent journey times over the same route by different characters. Once might be forgiven, but every time someone sets of you’ve no idea if they’ll even arrive at a destination before people they left at their starting point.

[fd3]

For those of you old enough to remember, to use those, the number was dialed, the connection was made and then money was inserted. The TV show had Jonathan Hart lift the receiver, insert money and then dial the number, which was physically impossible as a bar would prevent the coin going in the whole way.

Some American idiot had gone out of their way to modify a phone box to make it work like an American one and propagate disinformation for any tourists visiting the UK.

Amusing, as in my memory of phone boxes (USAnian vs UKnish) the UK ones you paid up front (and had to keep mainlining coins every time you heard the beeps) and the US ones you couldn't put money in until you dialled the number - at which point you were told how many quarters to feed the machine.
So possibly less a "side of the pond" issue and more "not of its time".

[JennyB]

For those of you old enough to remember, to use those, the number was dialed, the connection was made and then money was inserted. The TV show had Jonathan Hart lift the receiver, insert money and then dial the number, which was physically impossible as a bar would prevent the coin going in the whole way.

Some American idiot had gone out of their way to modify a phone box to make it work like an American one and propagate disinformation for any tourists visiting the UK.

Amusing, as in my memory of phone boxes (USAnian vs UKnish) the UK ones you paid up front (and had to keep mainlining coins every time you heard the beeps) and the US ones you couldn't put money in until you dialled the number - at which point you were told how many quarters to feed the machine.
So possibly less a "side of the pond" issue and more "not of its time".

I remember "Press button A to speak. Press button B to get your money back."

[Tim Hall]

I was listening to a short story on Radio 4 Extra at the weekend, written by Roald Dahl, called Someone Like You.

A  brieft synopsis is the protagonist, a Not Very Nice Man, gets slighted by a Lady. To get his revenge he commissions a painting of the Lady by to a Top Painter. The protagonist is Very Rich and, we learn, a Top Picture Restorer.

The picture is duly delivered, depicting the Lady in a full length black dress. As he's a Top Picture Restorer he whips out some cotton wool and turpentine and starts dabbing at the black paint to reveal the Lady's undergarments. He then dabs some more to end up with a picture of the Lady in undergarments and showing her bow legs, which he then springs upon unsuspecting guests at a dinner party.

WTAF?

Now my knowledge of painting is restricted to mostly emulsion and non-drip gloss, but I'm pretty sure paintings don't work like that.

[Basil]

Eh?
It's a Roald Dahl story.
You'll be telling me next that the BFG didn't exist and there was no giant peach.

[mrcharly-YHT]

I was listening to a short story on Radio 4 Extra at the weekend, written by Roald Dahl, called Someone Like You.

A  brieft synopsis is the protagonist, a Not Very Nice Man, gets slighted by a Lady. To get his revenge he commissions a painting of the Lady by to a Top Painter. The protagonist is Very Rich and, we learn, a Top Picture Restorer.

The picture is duly delivered, depicting the Lady in a full length black dress. As he's a Top Picture Restorer he whips out some cotton wool and turpentine and starts dabbing at the black paint to reveal the Lady's undergarments. He then dabs some more to end up with a picture of the Lady in undergarments and showing her bow legs, which he then springs upon unsuspecting guests at a dinner party.

WTAF?

Now my knowledge of painting is restricted to mostly emulsion and non-drip gloss, but I'm pretty sure paintings don't work like that.

Actually, that is how painting restorers work.

However, it takes a very long time, a small patch is worked on at a time, delicately removing one paint layer, then washing the solvent off before moving on.

[Tim Hall]

I was listening to a short story on Radio 4 Extra at the weekend, written by Roald Dahl, called Someone Like You.

A  brieft synopsis is the protagonist, a Not Very Nice Man, gets slighted by a Lady. To get his revenge he commissions a painting of the Lady by to a Top Painter. The protagonist is Very Rich and, we learn, a Top Picture Restorer.

The picture is duly delivered, depicting the Lady in a full length black dress. As he's a Top Picture Restorer he whips out some cotton wool and turpentine and starts dabbing at the black paint to reveal the Lady's undergarments. He then dabs some more to end up with a picture of the Lady in undergarments and showing her bow legs, which he then springs upon unsuspecting guests at a dinner party.

WTAF?

Now my knowledge of painting is restricted to mostly emulsion and non-drip gloss, but I'm pretty sure paintings don't work like that.

Actually, that is how painting restorers work.

However, it takes a very long time, a small patch is worked on at a time, delicately removing one paint layer, then washing the solvent off before moving on.

But would the painiting of a dress feature underwear and flesh benneath?

[Tim Hall]

Eh?
It's a Roald Dahl story.
You'll be telling me next that the BFG didn't exist and there was no giant peach.

But it's not set in a fantasy universe, it's set in Real Life.

[ian]

I was listening to a short story on Radio 4 Extra at the weekend, written by Roald Dahl, called Someone Like You.

A  brieft synopsis is the protagonist, a Not Very Nice Man, gets slighted by a Lady. To get his revenge he commissions a painting of the Lady by to a Top Painter. The protagonist is Very Rich and, we learn, a Top Picture Restorer.

The picture is duly delivered, depicting the Lady in a full length black dress. As he's a Top Picture Restorer he whips out some cotton wool and turpentine and starts dabbing at the black paint to reveal the Lady's undergarments. He then dabs some more to end up with a picture of the Lady in undergarments and showing her bow legs, which he then springs upon unsuspecting guests at a dinner party.

WTAF?

Now my knowledge of painting is restricted to mostly emulsion and non-drip gloss, but I'm pretty sure paintings don't work like that.

Actually, that is how painting restorers work.

However, it takes a very long time, a small patch is worked on at a time, delicately removing one paint layer, then washing the solvent off before moving on.

But would the painiting of a dress feature underwear and flesh benneath?

They all do. It's all we can do to stop the French revealing Mona Lisa's brassiere the world.