Author Topic: The bad film club  (Read 1463 times)

sam

The bad film club
« on: 03 November, 2023, 03:10:53 am »
Risen. A disaster flick surprisingly not starring the messiah. Aliens come looking for prime real estate which we're of course sitting on. Amazon Prime has thrown me a freebie, and the clock is ticking. This is what I've decided to spend some of it on.



That's Lauren, the Nobel Prize-winning exobiologist whose services are urgently required if humanity is going to get out of this latest fine mess. She's a mess herself, "a character created in the tiresome mold of pop-culture anti-heroes whose substance abuse is mistaken for complexity."



She was kind of mopping around the place anyway, and has nothing better to do.



That's when I realised I was going to like this, and would power through despite the universal lack of stellar reviews.

Quote
Risen is the rare original idea in a pop-culture landscape riddled by reboots and sequels, however, the movie [the writer/director] has built around that idea is so dull, it’s hard to watch.

As I said, challenge accepted.

Quote
Risen is so poorly executed, any interest or suspense that might otherwise be generated by the story is lost to the film’s plodding pace, subpar visual effects, and shoddy construction.

This isn’t helped by the terrible dialogue, which both over-explains anything that’s the least bit technical and under-explains just about everything else.

Seriously, stop.



And this is indeed where I've paused. The only thing that will save me now is if we get that promised power cut.


PS. I wonder if there's a connection between consuming bad popular culture and bad food...

sam

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #1 on: 03 November, 2023, 03:11:10 am »
Risen, part II. In an entirely unexpected development, I ended up quite liking this.

The morgue scene I'd paused at yesterday was utterly compelling once we'd all gotten past the embarrassing special effects, as were

(click to show/hide)

Here's a review that I ended up agreeing with more than the first, fun one.

Quote
When the movie does tie things up at the end, it becomes clear that there is something far more interesting, far more intricate, going on than what we have been offered.

I can accept that Risen was both a case of dashed hopes, and great sf as far as I'm concerned. Perhaps I took the idea and filled in the blanks/corrected the shortcomings in my head.

At some point the disaster part for me was seeing if it really would turn into the promised disaster of a movie. This is why I do this to myself: not just to revel in the expected badness, but to hold out hope that's there's good. And often enough there are bits of good in even the blandest fare, someone in the writer's room having snuck it in.



for screenshots. With apologies to the visually impaired, and @Peter, I do love my screenshots.



God knows we wouldn't want to be disappointed in our quest for disappointment.


(click to show/hide)

Memory lane...





Always bikespotting, me.



Couch potatoes.



Oh you mean my co-workers.



To be fair, my boss does a good Elvis.



Kodak moment.



It's always the Russians. Just Ask Hillary.



Is that the good news or the bad news?



That sounds like a you problem. Tell me it's a you problem.



Sorry, wrong clip.

I posted the first part on the streaming thread yesterday before it struck me that was the wrong place for it. Then I decided Risen would make a marvellous entry for a local bad film club, wherein interested parties would agree to watch a panned film, then rate it on whether it kept to this promise to them personally.

ian

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #2 on: 08 November, 2023, 10:03:02 pm »
As a big fan of Syfy movies, how my heart soars when I see the words The Asylum and Highfliers on the production credits lead-in. Cinematic gold. Were it alchemically transmuted to cheese.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: The bad film club
« Reply #3 on: 10 November, 2023, 06:59:06 pm »
Streaming has given us more bad films than we can throw popcorn at.

From the age of bad cinema, I nominate California Man, an early outing for Brendan Fraser, and probably one he likes to forget.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

sam

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #4 on: 26 November, 2023, 05:10:59 pm »
Unfortunately I can't find California Man online for free.

how my heart soars when I see the words The Asylum

Rich pickings. Hmmm…

Meanwhile, last night I watched Phantasm, which I first saw at a drive-in – easily the best venue for horror. On recounting the ending, which scarred me as a youth (Mike was just a few years older than me), I made the mistake of showing it to my wife.

https://youtu.be/JNvP3pJWTQE
"Boy!"

Oh how she laughed.


PS. What was Hank from Breaking Bad doing there?

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #5 on: 28 November, 2023, 08:26:57 am »
'Armageddon'

Watched this with my daughter and her husband.

We spent the evening laughing at the tropes, the massive overuse of cliches, the stupidity of it all (wind in space? really?). Did you know that space shuttles can go to outer space and smash through rocks without a scratch? Me neither.

Everything blows up.

I've seen parodies of Michael Bay films that had fewer, and less gratuitous, explosions.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #6 on: 28 November, 2023, 03:58:01 pm »
Maybe because it was an airline cut, but I’ll nominate Gothika with Halle Berry.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

ravenbait

  • Someone's imaginary friend
  • No, RB3, you can't have more tupperware.
    • Someone's imaginary friend
Re: The bad film club
« Reply #7 on: 28 November, 2023, 04:00:47 pm »
Life, a film so bad that the main headline actor (Ryan Reynolds) was killed off in the first 20 minutes, presumably so he wouldn't have to lose his shit over yet another scifi monster movie predicated on the shoddiest of shoddy biosecurity measures.

Sam
https://ravenbait.com
"Created something? Hah! But that would be irresponsible! And unethical! I would never, ever make... more than one."

ian

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #8 on: 28 November, 2023, 09:54:56 pm »
'Armageddon'

Watched this with my daughter and her husband.

We spent the evening laughing at the tropes, the massive overuse of cliches, the stupidity of it all (wind in space? really?). Did you know that space shuttles can go to outer space and smash through rocks without a scratch? Me neither.

Everything blows up.

I've seen parodies of Michael Bay films that had fewer, and less gratuitous, explosions.

It's not a bad film. It's a good film. As films go, it's the most can't-give-a-fuck of any movie. In fact it got the Oscar for Movie Least Likely to Give a Fuck. For this, we should salute it. It'll definitely be on my Christmas playlist.

sam

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #9 on: 29 November, 2023, 12:19:40 am »
The reviews aren't bad enough for Armageddon or Life. Ghothika shows promise, as do Collision Earth, Independents' Day (love that title), and The Day The Earth Stopped, all from Asylum.

My hope was to get everyone to watch the same movie and for all of us to report back. I realise that may be a tall order, The Day The Earth Stopped, for example, being 90 minutes of your life you wouldn't be getting back...

Unfortunately we're constrained by our ability to all screen whatever the choice is. I always check this site for anything not on Netflix, the only streaming service I subscribe to (though for a few more weeks I've still got my freebie trial of Amazon Prime, who threw me another month). However, I don't blame anybody who doesn't want to use that.

YouTube also sometimes comes up with the goods – I recently rewatched Wit, with Emma Thompson; definitely not one for this thread. And I just discovered the joys of ad free YT on DuckDuckGo's browser (previous opt-outs having failed). Come to think of it, YouTube might be the best bet here. I'll have to see what's suitable and available.

In the end all I can do is choose something and see if anybody wants to, and can, play along.

Meanwhile, thanks for your nominations.

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #10 on: 29 November, 2023, 02:37:09 pm »
'Armageddon'

Watched this with my daughter and her husband.

We spent the evening laughing at the tropes, the massive overuse of cliches, the stupidity of it all (wind in space? really?). Did you know that space shuttles can go to outer space and smash through rocks without a scratch? Me neither.

Everything blows up.

I've seen parodies of Michael Bay films that had fewer, and less gratuitous, explosions.

It's not a bad film. It's a good film. As films go, it's the most can't-give-a-fuck of any movie. In fact it got the Oscar for Movie Least Likely to Give a Fuck. For this, we should salute it. It'll definitely be on my Christmas playlist.

You must watch 'Napoleon' then.
Move Faster and Bake Things

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The bad film club
« Reply #11 on: 29 November, 2023, 02:51:13 pm »
Mentioned this a week or so back on the "last film" thread. A must for aficionados: The Earth Dies Screaming:o
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

ian

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #12 on: 29 November, 2023, 08:28:07 pm »
'Armageddon'

Watched this with my daughter and her husband.

We spent the evening laughing at the tropes, the massive overuse of cliches, the stupidity of it all (wind in space? really?). Did you know that space shuttles can go to outer space and smash through rocks without a scratch? Me neither.

Everything blows up.

I've seen parodies of Michael Bay films that had fewer, and less gratuitous, explosions.

It's not a bad film. It's a good film. As films go, it's the most can't-give-a-fuck of any movie. In fact it got the Oscar for Movie Least Likely to Give a Fuck. For this, we should salute it. It'll definitely be on my Christmas playlist.

You must watch 'Napoleon' then.

I just might, now I've given up on Marvel, I need new reasons to go to the cinema. Do they reveals he's actually Italian at the end? Take that Frenchies.

I read the The Asylum make a movie a month and haven't never failed to turn a profit. Their mockbusters are good, some might say better than the original. You won't be disappointed with Independents' Day. I, for one, would be proud of a writing credit.

As bad films go, let's return to those Ridley's reprise of the Alien franchise.

meddyg

  • 'You'll have had your tea?'
Re: The bad film club
« Reply #13 on: 29 November, 2023, 08:36:13 pm »
Cardiff's Bad Film Club (at least pre COVID) nurtured the culture of tutting loudly if fans arrived late, when the screening had started.

(I should think so, too !) This practice should be widely adopted.

sam

Re: The bad film club
« Reply #14 on: 30 November, 2023, 10:21:21 am »
I for one shall be watching Independents' Day next, and posting about the experience.*

Rules for the Yacf Bad Film Club
• Watch whatever you want and report back. If you want to.
• These rules are in the very early stages of construction and subject to change without notice.

on edit:
*As good as my word.