Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces  (Read 374676 times)

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1725 on: 30 April, 2018, 04:18:00 pm »
Quote
Bath woman’s Pavlova plans ruined after Waitrose strawberries go mouldy
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/bath-womans-pavlova-plans-ruined-1475899

Worth reading just for the argument in the comments section below
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1726 on: 02 May, 2018, 02:40:55 pm »
Those helpful people over at reddit have been compiling a record of the antics of the colonial evolutionary-throwback-cum-crap-superhero known as 'Florida Man': https://www.reddit.com/r/FloridaMan/

(Lock up your swans)

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1727 on: 02 May, 2018, 02:57:49 pm »
And there was I thinking that Florida Man was a reference to The Perambulating Orange Toupee stand
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1728 on: 22 May, 2018, 12:44:00 am »
Let him among us who has not got utterly mashed and then stopped by the peelers partway through filling a hotel bath with potatoes cast the first spud - sorry, I mean stone...  :D

Quote
A man found filling his hotel bath with potatoes went on a “bizarre” five-day drug binge with his friends.

James Johnson, 30, was caught by officers wearing a woman’s bra over his shirt and carrying a bag of spuds as he entered the Travelodge in Eastleigh.

His room was searched and an assortment of drugs, including ecstasy, 5-MAPB - similar to MDMA - and psychedelic substance 2CB were found as well as the tub full of potatoes.

When queried by baffled Judge Peter Henry at Southampton Crown Court as to why he had done it, he was told that “it felt like the right thing to do at the time”.

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16238593.Man_wears_bra_and_fills_hotel_bath_full_of_potatoes_during___39_bizarre__39__binge/
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1729 on: 22 May, 2018, 11:51:13 am »
When they refer to "a woman's bra" do they mean a bra belonging to a specific woman, or merely wish to emphasise that it wasn't a man-bra?
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1730 on: 22 May, 2018, 11:56:11 am »
How long has filling a hotel bath with potatoes been illegal?
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1731 on: 22 May, 2018, 12:05:05 pm »
I think it goes back to the time of The Peelers.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1732 on: 22 May, 2018, 01:10:28 pm »
Earlier than that - since the first King Edward.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1733 on: 22 May, 2018, 04:33:13 pm »
By YACF punning standards, this is a bit of a half-baked effort - have you all had your chips already, or is this sort of thing really gratin these days?

The antipodean members must think we're lazy pommes...
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1734 on: 22 May, 2018, 06:54:56 pm »
To be fair, he was Smashed at the time.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1735 on: 23 May, 2018, 12:31:58 pm »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44209773
This made me laugh:
Quote
"I don't know Cheltenham very well at all. I was born in Gloucester," she said.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1736 on: 23 May, 2018, 08:55:07 pm »
Reunited now.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44222054

Bit concerned they're too scatty to be safe on the roads.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1737 on: 24 May, 2018, 07:51:57 am »
Reunited now.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44222054

Bit concerned they're too scatty to be safe on the roads.
ditto
<i>Marmite slave</i>

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1738 on: 24 May, 2018, 01:32:30 pm »
(click to show/hide)


Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1740 on: 24 June, 2018, 09:36:25 pm »
East Devon News:-
"Lawn mower severely damaged in Musbury blaze"

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1741 on: 20 July, 2018, 01:28:18 pm »

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1742 on: 31 July, 2018, 02:27:46 pm »
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-45018213

Major disaster averted by taking a piss.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1743 on: 31 July, 2018, 07:22:23 pm »
Normal in Essex   :o ;D
the slower you go the more you see


Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1745 on: 01 August, 2018, 04:56:01 pm »
'Humongous' wasps' nest found in Newbury garage cupboard
Use of the word 'humongous' is another clear sign of the continuing deterioration in standards at the BBC.

They should have called it 'ginaggerous'.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1746 on: 01 August, 2018, 07:12:07 pm »
I think the End Times officially started when Little Tommy Schafernaker used the word "amazeballs" during a pre-watershed weather forecast.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1747 on: 03 August, 2018, 10:16:14 am »
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1748 on: 16 August, 2018, 08:48:18 pm »
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/burglars-toolkit-recovered-after-police-15037506


Men arrested after cycling at 3AM with toolkit.     Are we missing any audaxers ?
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1749 on: 19 August, 2018, 11:55:58 am »
Since Hubjub are useless for EAI sprockets these days, it was waaaay cheaper to buy a new 47T TA track chainring to use with a spare 18T than to import a 20T from the USA (about £45 before any duty, VAT and Parcelforce charges).

Annoying, because I really liked my 52 x 20.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.