Cycling words and phrases that annoy you

[robgul]

Halfords  - oops, hang on that's nothing to do with cycling 


Rob

[Redlight]

Helmet, when preceded by the word "safety"

[MikeFromLFE]

Americanisms get me generally but I give you:
Fender - no. NO it's a mudguard - a description of function.
Clincher - I accept its a description of how it works, but I come from an era of tyres & tubs (is anyone annoyed by 'tubs'?)
And while we're at it - tires - learn to spell. Please.

Gravel Bike is starting to irritate me too, for no good reason.

[Asterix, the former Gaul.]

..
I don't see anything wrong with crossbar: that's what it always was before Americans started calling it the top tube.  To me the Top Tube inhabits the White House.

..

How could any one give a croggie without crossbar?

[T42]

Croggie - that's one I didn't know.  Give your doggie a ride on the crossbar?

Oh, and when I was starting out bikes didn't have racks, they had carriers. Rack is OK, though.

And a Fender is a guitar. Let's get that right.

Tub: maybe in the saddle, never in the tyre.

Now then, honking and bonking.  Americans may vomit and copulate on their bikes but please, not this side of the puddle.  We do lack a word for the former, though. In French (I know, I know) it's called being en danseuse even if you're a bloke, 'cos you're up on your points like her in Swan Lake. Standing on the pedals is awkward, though. Suggestions on a postcard...

[Cudzoziemiec]

Brifter is an ugly word IMO. I'm trying to popularise bagel as an alternative (Brake And GEar Lever), coined by someone otp (but I can't remember who).

[Karla]

Of all the foul neologisms - and there are too many to count - for which USAnia can take the blame, a strong candidate for the absolute nadir is "Campy".  Get in the cannon.

Preach it brutha.  When anyone uses this work, they instantly become associated in my mind with this image - that seems fugly, nerdy and American enough?

Clincher - I accept its a description of how it works, but I come from an era of tyres & tubs (is anyone annoyed by 'tubs'?)

What's wrong with clinchers & tubs?  In the cycling world I inhabit at weekends, clinchers are in the minority - albeit a growing one - so demanding they occupy the high ground of default 'tyres' is a bit rich.

Now then, honking and bonking.  Americans may vomit and copulate on their bikes but please, not this side of the puddle.  We do lack a word for the former, though. In French (I know, I know) it's called being en danseuse even if you're a bloke, 'cos you're up on your points like her in Swan Lake. Standing on the pedals is awkward, though. Suggestions on a postcard...

You don't like bonking?  You must have a chronic puerility deficiency; start reading more smutty comics at once.

[ElyDave]

Helmet, when preceded by the word "safety"

So when would you accept that a helmet has a contribution to safety?

I have had two falls where helmet hitting ground prevented head hitting ground first.  I still had a headache, but my scalp was intact and free of roadrash.

Do I think my helmet will protect me from a 30-tonne arctic - No

[Asterix, the former Gaul.]

H****t, when preceded by the word "safety"

So when would you accept that a H****t has a contribution to safety?

I have had two falls where helmet hitting ground prevented head hitting ground first.  I still had a headache, but my scalp was intact and free of roadrash.

Do I think my H****t will protect me from a 30-tonne arctic - No

AAAAaaaasghhhh!!!

H****t debate alert Destroy

[Russell]

Granny ring.

[Kim]

'Recumbent', when used as if it were a functional class like 'touring bike'.  Bonus points for not specifying the number of wheels in contexts where it matters.

As a tricyclist of 50 years experience I get very frustrated when people write as if trike means recumbent or recumbent means trike.  Outside of recumbent forum areas please add "recumbent".

Yes.  As a (primairly) recumbent bicyclist, I find that people tend to assume that recumbents are tricycles by default, and then get confused by how you got it to fit a dangly bike space on the train or why a front wheel puncture caused you to fall off, or whatever.  I suppose the popularity of tadpole touring trikes means that's most people's idea of a 'recumbent', and two-wheelers or anything built for racing or off-road riding counts as exotica.

Sometimes unqualified 'recumbent' is fine though, if you're discussing seats or handlebars or something else relevant to lying down, but not the number of wheels.

I'll use 'upwrong' as a specific case of "mildly inappropriate bike".  I've got several of them, and they're often the best tool for the job.  Riders compelled to recumbent riding for disability reasons get a free pass.

As a Darksider of many years standing lying down I'll also nominate "'bent", which makes me boak rich, brown vomit long into the night

I suspect tolerance for that one increases linearly with the innuendo potential afforded by one's Kinsey score.  I don't mind 'bent legs' thobut, as it's a decent enough pun.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Isn't Campy just an American attempt at abbreviating the name while retaining a passing resemblance to Italian pronunciation? That is, something like "kampanyolo". In Britain we avoid this by ignoring the "nyo" sound and pronouncing each letter; I expect this sounds even worse to an Italian ear, but then, we're not speaking Italian, are we?

[Ian H]

A surprising number of old usages being criticised here.  Rapha et al may have re-popularised some old terms, but they certainly didn't invent them.

[Redlight]

H****t, when preceded by the word "safety"

So when would you accept that a H****t has a contribution to safety?

I have had two falls where helmet hitting ground prevented head hitting ground first.  I still had a headache, but my scalp was intact and free of roadrash.



Do I think my H****t will protect me from a 30-tonne arctic - No

AAAAaaaasghhhh!!!

H****t debate alert Destroy

Fear not.  I simply refer my honourable friend from Ely to https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=74.0 where every permutation of this topic appears to have been covered (and covered, and covered, and covered again...)

[Ben T]

I presume 'bidon' has already been mentioned...

[Tim Hall]

"Wheelset" annoys me (for no good reason).

The suffix "set".  Brakes, wheels, frames convey the same meaning as their suffix-riddled counterparts, Shirley?  (OK, chainset is just about permissible).

[Chris N]

Colourway, though it's not just when used in relation to cycling that it annoys me.

[L CC]

All the Cols in the Tour De Yorkshire.

And the fecking De.

They're hills, banks, summits. Whatevs. There's already a goddamn name for them, absolutely no fecking need to Eurotrash them.

[Ben T]

"good luck" !!!

Why will I need luck?

[bobb]

None of the words and terms mentioned annoy me at all. Many I would never use, but what's the problem you bunch of miserable gits? 

[rogerzilla]

I really hate "sportive", both as a word and as a concept.  Pseudo-races for people who've bought all the gear but aren't good enough to enter a real race.

[rogerzilla]

And "scandium" frames.  They're aluminium with a tiny,tiny (maybe 0.2%) dash of scandium.  You don't call a 3Al 2.5V titanium frame "vanadium".  Marketing BS.

[Biggsy]

Carcass.

Chickens have carcasses, bicycle tyres have casings.

[rogerzilla]

Any phrase that combines KOM and segment.  It's almost certainly not the Col du Galibier, it'll be Kings Cross station to The Pint Pot or something.

[fuaran]

Clipless pedals (which do have a 'clip')

Alloy, as an abbreviation for aluminium. A steel or titanium frame is also an 'alloy'.