It's been over 10 yrs now for me, but the last couple of years I've been flirting with the idea of starting again - not serious flirtation but thoughts that come from negative thinking borne out of some really bleak darkness that has descended over the psyche during that time. I'm no stranger to a blackness of the soul but when it bites really hard the negativity really gets ramped up and all the self-destructive thoughts comes cascading into the mind seemingly without end, and mixed in with all those are thoughts relating to smoking. It's been kind of interesting to watch it happen actually. Kind of amusing almost. Certainly not threatening.
But I'm comfortable with those thoughts. No problem. We ride with them. Just like a crave - we go with the discomfort. Just place yourself right there in the middle of it and be with it. How bad can it really be? My experience is, unpleasant as it may be, if you can do that, sit right in the middle of it, embracing without fighting, it often changes. They come and they go.