Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances  (Read 78880 times)

TJG

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #500 on: March 21, 2019, 09:42:39 pm »
"Daddy. I have put these things on the stairs.  Some are uppers and some are downers."
This is a perfectly sensible sentence, we knew exactly what she meant, at 6 she clearly did not have a varied collection of recreational narcotics.  It only took about 5 minutes before my wife or I could breathe again!

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #501 on: March 21, 2019, 09:46:35 pm »
Things to go upstairs and downstairs? Sorted! Literally...
Riding a bike through a city is like navigating the collective neural pathways of a vast global mind.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #502 on: April 01, 2019, 08:52:19 am »
When kids tell jokes, part 193...

Andrew: What did one maths book say to another maths book?
Mummy: I don't know, Andrew, what did one maths book say to another maths book?
Andrew: "Tell me about your problems!  Haha!"
Mummy: Haha!  Andrew, do you know why that's funny?
Andrew: (sheepishly) Because maths books can't talk!

 ;D

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #503 on: April 29, 2019, 06:54:25 pm »
Miss Dan the Younger was suggesting bunking off to protest Trump.
Miss Dan the Elder pointed out that getting photographed and recognised would get her into trouble.
“I’ll just wear a mask” says the younger.
So proud :D

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #504 on: May 26, 2019, 04:52:39 pm »
"One, two, three, four, six, seven, eight, ten, eleven, twelve, hundred, nineteen, twenty, sixty. Coming, ready or not!"
It was interesting to see the different seeking styles of the two smalls, aged about three. The one whose counting is above made a great show of looking in all sorts of places she could see the other one wasn't and walking past the place she could easily see he was. When it was his turn, he counted quickly and went straight to where she was obviously hiding. They were both of the "crouch under a table and call it hiding" school.
Riding a bike through a city is like navigating the collective neural pathways of a vast global mind.

Wowbagger

  • Sylph
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #505 on: December 03, 2019, 09:54:57 pm »
"I wish people at my school wouldn't call him Santa Claus! That's American. We're British. He's Father Christmas!"

So said my gd, aged 9 years and 5 months.
Bach without a doubt.

The Family Cyclist

  • Formerly known as Johnny Faro
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #506 on: January 17, 2020, 11:46:59 am »
Now.......shall we discuss pudding - My 6 year old who would get thrashed for her impertinence if I want laughing so hard at her delivery of the aforementioned

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #507 on: January 28, 2020, 09:30:24 pm »
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"

T42

  • *** fool in a hurry
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #508 on: January 29, 2020, 08:28:55 am »
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"

You too, huh?  Take courage, it doesn't stop at 30. Or 40.
I've dusted all those old bottles and set them up straight.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #509 on: January 29, 2020, 07:34:00 pm »
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"

You too, huh?  Take courage, it doesn't stop at 30. Or 40.

That's seriously depressing! Ours is just 18, but I already can't wait for her to earn a living and stop asking for money!

A

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #510 on: January 29, 2020, 07:43:53 pm »

That's seriously depressing! Ours is just 18, but I already can't wait for her to earn a living and stop asking for money!


*falls on the floor, laughing*
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #511 on: March 09, 2020, 10:12:27 am »
On telling my 6yo that his 6yo cousin also plays chess:
"Is Toby a Grandmaster too?"

Cudzoziemiec

  • Eating all the pies and drinking all the tea.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #512 on: April 29, 2020, 07:31:03 pm »
He's way too old for this thread really, but where else would I put this? Tells me his history teacher used to say "If you don't like the syllabus, don't blame me, blame Michael Gove."
Riding a bike through a city is like navigating the collective neural pathways of a vast global mind.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #513 on: May 18, 2020, 10:30:20 pm »
'Yesterday, you were a square; today you're a prime number.'

Nephew (who can't write yet) dictating text of birthday card to his mother, for older sister to write out.

The Family Cyclist

  • Formerly known as Johnny Faro
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #514 on: September 11, 2020, 10:44:09 am »
Youngest monkey on being told its time to get up

But beds warm and I don't want to waste it

Can't really argue with that. Thankfully we have new chickens she's excited about and with the darker mornings I'm not in such a rush to let them out so helping with that was mentioned and she was up

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #515 on: November 08, 2020, 02:51:08 pm »
Granson-Ham, currently just over 2 and beginning to grapple with the intricacies of language likes to find the familiar in all things. "Daddy's ar" (car), "mummy's ar", "Ham's ar" when seeing similar vehicles (and his brand recognition of my merc is frightening). Which explains why, when hearing a certain name in the news a lot at the moment, he says "Donald Duck"  ;D ;D (checks the thread I've put this in. Yep)

fd3

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #516 on: November 08, 2020, 07:29:31 pm »
'Yesterday, you were a square; today you're a prime number.'

Nephew (who can't write yet) dictating text of birthday card to his mother, for older sister to write out.
That is awesome! I will have to set that as an exercise for my students.
And we know the flag of love is from above/And we can force you to be free

fd3

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #517 on: December 30, 2020, 11:17:56 am »
The other Dr fd3: Missed a call from the Morissons Delivery Man
#1 son: Boris Johnson called???
Us: huh?
#1 son: You said you missed a call from Mr Nonsense.
And we know the flag of love is from above/And we can force you to be free

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #518 on: December 30, 2020, 11:16:17 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D

My kid brother was 11 when he tapped on a bus timetable.

'Hard-backed fiction'... said he

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #519 on: January 07, 2021, 05:48:16 pm »
My step-grandson

Mother: Who do you play with at school?
R: I play with Helena...
Mother: who else do you play with?
R: Mario
Mother: do you have any other friends?
R: biscuits.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

fd3

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #520 on: February 20, 2021, 12:16:23 pm »
Boris!
(In the style of Captain Kirk shouting “Khan!”)
And we know the flag of love is from above/And we can force you to be free

slope

  • Ride Fettle Ride
    • Current pedalable joys
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #521 on: March 04, 2021, 08:48:27 pm »
In a car around midday, driving along a country lane with lots and lots of sheep grazing in a field.

Step-granddaughter Lily aged 4: "Look Paul, those silly baa lambs are standing on their dinner, ha ha haa"

rower40

  • Not my boat. Now sold.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #522 on: March 08, 2021, 02:03:06 pm »
Misses mini-rower #1 and #2, now aged 7 and 5, with this lyric-change:

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen,
A kingdom of isolation, caused by COVID-19.
Be Naughty; save Santa a trip

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #523 on: March 08, 2021, 02:53:55 pm »
Misses mini-rower #1 and #2, now aged 7 and 5, with this lyric-change:

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen,
A kingdom of isolation, caused by COVID-19.

 :thumbsup: but careful they don't want a copyright strike from Disney.