Crazy training tips that might actually work

[mattc]

The basics of training regimes and how to ride a bike fast/efficiently have been documented at great length on t'InterWeb and elsewhere - people disagree over minor nuances, but the messages are mostly the same,evolving gently over the decades.
What I still enjoy reading are those bizarre sounding ideas that you might never have thought of, but have a grain of sense in them. At first you think "NUTTER!" ... but then you start thinking if you could use the idea, perhaps modified to your own riding/schedule.

This was kicked off by something I just read on ultracycling.com:

"During my first season of ultracycling, I spent many mornings on my trainer eating breakfast while cycling. This taught my stomach to deal with eating substantial meals while performing an aerobic activity."

Any more for any more?

[Nonsteeler]

Not sure if absurd enough but this is what crossed my mind:

When out with someone (or a group) who is well under your level of fitness why not try one-legged cycling? Take turns, only use one leg clipped into the pedal at a time and rest the other on the chain stays (if possible) or let it hanging in the air.

[Palinurus]

I do one-legged cycling as part of my early season routine, 45 seconds a leg then switch. I used to do it on the turbo for a bit of variation but sometimes I do it while following Ms P uphill. I try not let her catch me doing it though.

[MercuryKev]

As part of my audax training I stay awake for 48 hours before training sessions, eating nothing but food which can be purchased in petrol stations: pasties, brunch bars, steak bakes, mars bars etc.  These sessions are held on a turbo trainer in a darkened wet room with the shower set to cold.  Sessions last approx 22 hours.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Bottom-gear races.

Best if you are riding a triple.

[mattc]

Kev:
You forgot to put that in quotes, or some other measure to pretend that someone else wrote it.

The 1-legged pedalling is a good one - the first time you feel an utter nutter, but it clearly makes (some) sense.

[Nonsteeler]

The 1-legged pedalling is a good one - the first time you feel an utter nutter, but it clearly makes (some) sense.

For maximum effect do it on a fixie and don't bent the (pedalling) leg. This looks bizarre, borderline cool or plain dumb (depending on the observer). Oh and if you're really skilled do riding it backwards...

[border-rider]

These sessions are held on a turbo trainer in a darkened wet room

I actually have a turbo trainer in a dark, wet cellar deep in the bowels of Castle Volio.  You're very welcome to come and use it.

[border-rider]

.... but it does have a dildo attachment

That's an optional extra, installed just for you if you recall.

[Hummers]

Early in the season,  I always stuff a small cheese grater down the front of my shorts to toughen up my helmet in advance of the season to come. Not a large one but one we bought last year in Tuscany especially suited to the application of parmesan. I find this invaluable as with no discernible foreskin, long rides can become uncomforable without the careful application of cling film around the glans.

H

[mattc]

Hummers:

I had you down as an old-skool retro "hard" man.

It pleases me to see you are receptive to recent advances in sports science and haute cuisine.

[Exit Stage Left]

I used to start my season with a week at altitude, piste skiing, followed by ski touring, 6am starts at -10C were ideal, as I tend to sweat in high temperatures. I'd then enhance the altitude training effect by smoking, B&H by preference.

[Hummers]

Hummers:

I had you down as an old-skool retro "hard" man.

It pleases me to see you are receptive to recent advances in sports science and haute cuisine.

Mais oui!

It may not surprise you to learn that sometimes the grated by-products of my gusset find their way into the odd carbonara .

H 

[perpetual dan]

Do you aspire to "scenic" rides, but only have gentle slopes nearby to train on? Attach a small child to the back of your bike. This has two benefits:
1) the hill feels harder
2) the child will want to discuss everything that you pass, this encourages you to maintain an aerobic, conversational, pace.

[bloomers100]

Early in the season,  I always stuff a small cheese grater down the front of my shorts to toughen up my helmet in advance of the season to come. Not a large one but one we bought last year in Tuscany especially suited to the application of parmesan. I find this invaluable as with no discernible foreskin, long rides can become uncomforable without the careful application of cling film around the glans.

H

oh dear spat red wine onto keyboard..........cling film sounds flimsy, gaffer tape minimum surely.