On the commute last night (albeit a train part of a mixed-mode journey). I was sat in the inadequate bike storage space on a train from Victoria to Sutton. Opposite me sat a young man with a mop of floppy hair looking a bit tired. The retention strap being quite crappy, every time the train lurched (this was Southern; they do it all the time), the bike rolled back towards the chap's foot, so I tried to hold on to it and not disturb his rest, such as it was.
At Mitcham Junction, he got up, a bit unsteadily, and went to the toilet. Great moaning sounds emanated as he summoned Huey. This continued on through Hackbridge and Carshalton, till, approaching Sutton, I heard the driver's voice, and then a posh young lad saying 'I'm locked toilet'.
How glad I was to be getting off! As I waited for my connecting train, I heard a conversation by walkie talkie to the effect that the doors had been forced open. The passengers hoping to go on home to Cheam, Ewell & Epsom were to be sadly disappointed for a long while yet. :\