C Boardman: | O hai! I am TV's Nice C Boardman and I am made ov teh Win! |
S Brotherton: | O hai! I am TV's S Brotherton and I, also, am made ov teh Win! |
Omnes: | WTF! U 2 lusers still here? Send TV's N Boulting and Super D Millar! And hold teh munkehs! |
LE Pooley: | O hai! I am Little E Pooley and I am made ov teh Win! Bloody gears. Bloody weather. Bloody descents. Piss! |
S Brotherton: | Good weather 4 AS Duck of Teh Nether Regions LOL!!1! |
AS Duyck: | Get tae fck, S Brotherton! It's Duyck, you m0f0! Also, I iz Belgian! |
E Stevens: | Call me "Evens" Stevens, S Brotherton, and I will kill u utterly to DETH! |
EV Dijk: | Hullo clouds hullo sky hullo munkehs! Oh. I haz gone mountain bieking! Arse! |
C Boardman: | ...and E Lamborghini iz umpteen tiems teh tiem trial champion ov teh Italy. Try saying that when u've et Evil C Boardman's lunch! |
Omnes: | Oh FFS! He's channelling TV's P Sherwen! |
V Heine: | That was teh heine-ous! Roffle! |
Omnes: | ZOMG!!1! That was teh suxx0r! DIAF, V Heine! |
K Armstrong: | O hai! I am K Armstrong (no relation) and I am made ov teh Win! Not bad 4 a little old lady, eh? |
EV Dijk: | Piss! |
| [Rather later than planned...] |
C Boardman: | Burp! That was teh nice lunch! Foie gras, sole meunière and teh Puligny-Montrachet! Om nom nom and, moreover, nom! Oh. Haz teh race started, then1? |
S Brotherton: | You utter git, Evil C Boardman! I only got teh banananana coz teh munkehs ran out ov poo 2 throw at me |
G Thomas: | O hai! I am C Froome and I am made of teh Win! |
J Alaphilippe: | RAAAWWWRRR!!1! Oh. Arse! |
S Brotherton: | ...Tour ov France winner S Getschke and his Hipster Beard... |
S Geschke: | WTF? I pwned teh Tour ov France? When that happen? Also, iz no "t" in Geschke, m0f0, but iz 1 in cnt! |
C Boardman: | ...Dan Craven and his Hipster Beard...World Championships...hic! |
D Craven: | At least I got 2 lie on teh sun lounger ov Win Almost-Win 4 a bit! |
S Brotherton & C Boardman: | ...blah...S Getschke...blah blah blah...Hipster Beard...blah blah... |
A Vuillermoz: | O hai! Y I on road biek? FFS! |
C Froome: | [Taps helmet] O hai! Iz this thing on? I iz missing Teh Archers! |
R Dennis: | Gimme gimme medal! Oh FFS! Sassum frassum wassum rickrastardly! |
S Partacus: | Game on! |
C Froome: | Wot S Partacus sed. Oh. Piss! |
G Thomas: | At least I got 2 lie on teh sun lounger ov Win 4 a bit! |
J Camp Old Nick: | Ur in my chair, ducky! Get tae fck or I mince liek teh Stan! |
NFSS Oliviera: | Wot J Camp Old Nick sed, only without teh mincing. |
G Thomas: | Liek I care! It's BEER o'clock! |
T Dumoulin: | Piss! |
C Froome: | Arse! |
S Partacus: | Not bad 4 an old man, eh? I told u I wuz hardcore! |
R Dennis: | *%}5(!!/£<>$$€!2 |
J Douglas: | Soz. Norty R Dennis! |
C Boardman: | 2 teh velodrome! Bring ur own banananananas. No munkehs there. |