Yet Another Cycling Forum

General Category => Freewheeling => Topic started by: Martin109 on 21 June, 2009, 10:00:10 am

Title: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Martin109 on 21 June, 2009, 10:00:10 am
Came across this  forlorn wheel (http://web.ukonline.co.uk/martinsawers/Personal%20Web%20Page_files/ForlornWheel.jpg).  The picture doesn't show that it's a really nice MTB wheel; the owner had 'locked' it by putting the D-Lock through 3 or 4 spokes, so the tealeaf just quick-released the rest of the bike.  Had he had wheelbuilding skillz, he could have cut those few spokes and replaced them, and had a whole bike to sell on! :-\
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 June, 2009, 01:12:04 pm
Another embarrassing example:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3654/3348448631_9ed37932bb.jpg?v=0

and one waiting to be nicked:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3051/2988503987_91e84ac742.jpg?v=0
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: RichForrest on 21 June, 2009, 03:36:52 pm
I watched my son padlock his new bike at school once.
I walked over to it after he went in, unthreaded the lock from the handlebars and took the bike home again  :demon:.

His mum said his face was a picture when he came out that afternoon to find it gone.
He's not going to do that again in a hurry ;D
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: clarion on 21 June, 2009, 04:09:09 pm
At Millwall for a conference, I was annoyed not to be able to find bike parking of any kind.  Fortunately, my lock was - just - long enough to go round one of the huge lampposts and the frame & front wheel.  Of course, any thieves could have just lifted the bike over the top ;D
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Rhys W on 21 June, 2009, 06:35:37 pm
I've seen one locked through... the bottle cage!
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Basil on 21 June, 2009, 07:03:50 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/Bloke_on_a_bike/April08005.jpg)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: oncemore on 21 June, 2009, 09:36:40 pm
But however carefully locked- never forget the power of a hacksaw. Once saw (sic)an expensive mtb well secured, front and rear, but the entire front end had been simply removed with a couple of neat cuts. Forks and shifters worth a few bob!
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Moloko on 22 June, 2009, 12:21:16 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/Bloke_on_a_bike/April08005.jpg)

Lift up bike.  Now place bike a few bollards up or down either way.

Perplexed look on his/her face when returning. Priceless.  ;D
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Woofage on 22 June, 2009, 12:35:28 pm
Alternatively, lock up your bike in a hurry so you don't realise you've also locked someone else's:

(http://www.woofage.co.uk/cycling/bikelock.jpg)

BTW, the grey one is mine >:(. Fortunately the other guy had gone a couple of hours later.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: rower40 on 22 June, 2009, 01:58:29 pm
Alternatively, lock up your bike in a hurry so you don't realise you've also locked someone else's:
The frustrating/annoying thing is that he hasn't locked his OWN (green) bike.  Remove stem, headset, drop forks out, slide head tube of frame out from lock, thread handlebars & cables through lock, re-assemble.  Not that that bike would be worth that expenditure of effort... ;D
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: PaulR on 22 June, 2009, 02:11:47 pm
When I worked on the Haymarket I'd sometimes have no option but to lock my bike to a parking meter outside MacD's.  With a small shackle lock it was reasonably secure and was in the direct line of sight of our security guard's desk.

Once day, after I had done this in the morning, a bunch of contractors came to shift the parking meters around.  At the end of the so-called "working" day, I wnet downstairs to get on my bike and ride home.  After my initial bafflement on not seeing my bike where i had left it, I was delighted that the contractors had gone to the trouble of making sure my bike was still locked to a meter a little way down the road.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 June, 2009, 08:37:54 pm
Alternatively, lock up your bike in a hurry so you don't realise you've also locked someone else's:
The frustrating/annoying thing is that he hasn't locked his OWN (green) bike.  Remove stem, headset, drop forks out, slide head tube of frame out from lock, thread handlebars & cables through lock, re-assemble.  Not that that bike would be worth that expenditure of effort... ;D
But...but...it's a "Professional"!
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 23 June, 2009, 03:14:49 pm
Some years ago Cardiff Ajax arived at Cafe on Cowbridge common. Lock up their bikes securely to one of those composite table and benchs that are common out side pubs  Go inside for tea.  A flat back lorry pulls up.  Lifts table complete with bikes on to truck and make their getaway. I expect they were looking for motorbikes but got a good second prize.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Bledlow on 23 June, 2009, 07:53:22 pm
Alternatively, lock up your bike in a hurry so you don't realise you've also locked someone else's:...
I did that once, at Reading station. Got back to find a rather annoyed bloke trying  to find out if the station staff would break my lock for him. Profuse apologies later, he was free.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: rower40 on 23 June, 2009, 08:06:06 pm
But...but...it's a "Professional"!
Off-topic:  I have a 10mm Combination Spanner, embossed with the legend "Halfords Professional".  I often wonder how bad it would have to be if it were to earn the name "Halfords Amateur".
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 05 December, 2017, 04:15:12 pm
Today's instalment in our irregular series Badly Locked Bikes of Birmingham:

(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2017_12_05_15_39_42.sized.jpg)

For clarity: All that lies between a thief and a clean getaway is a single piece of fencing wire and the 4pm campus car exodus gridlock.

I suppose they get some points for using a proper lock.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 06 December, 2017, 09:06:10 am

This one here was spotted in Amsterdam...

(http://photos.quixotic.eu/misc/badlock01_sm.jpg)

The lock is going round the brake cable...

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 December, 2017, 09:22:40 am
Of another bike! Holding it to ransom?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: andrew_s on 06 December, 2017, 12:04:35 pm
To be fair, they do have nurse's locks as well.
I'd guess the lock belongs to the brake cable bike. If the rack bike's owner comes back first, he's likely to just undo or cut the brake cable and ride off with the other rider's lock.

Alternatively, lock up your bike in a hurry so you don't realise you've also locked someone else's:...
I remember on one club run, locking my bike to a ring bolt in the cafe wall. As I was about to go in, one of the other riders parked his bike against mine, so I told him to lock to my lock, not my bike. "Yes", he said, and I went in. When we came out, I found that he'd locked to my bike, and also hadn't brought his key with him. Words were had, and a pair of side cutters located to chop the cable lock with.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: DuncanM on 06 December, 2017, 12:25:31 pm
But...but...it's a "Professional"!
Off-topic:  I have a 10mm Combination Spanner, embossed with the legend "Halfords Professional".  I often wonder how bad it would have to be if it were to earn the name "Halfords Amateur".
Halfords Professional tools are well regarded in the car community and come with a lifetime warranty. Break it (if you can) and take it into any Halfords and they will replace immediately for free.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: trekker12 on 13 December, 2017, 02:45:50 pm
Also, the standard 15mm Halfords Professional spanner is narrow enough to be used as a pedal removing spanner - I have one in my tool box for just that purpose.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 21 February, 2018, 07:48:41 pm
Today's instalment in our irregular series Badly Locked Bikes of Birmingham:

(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2018_02_21_16_12_27.sized.jpg)

I predict this one's owner wouldn't do well as a contestant on The Krypton Factor.

Bonus points for the state of that chain.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Pickled Onion on 25 February, 2018, 08:50:38 am
This was in central London, it's not clear from the poor framing, but the post ends at the top of the picture

(http://handsonit.co.uk/2018/IMG_0278.jpg)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 25 February, 2018, 01:20:17 pm
This was in central London, it's not clear from the poor framing, but the post ends at the top of the picture

Ah, the David Cameron technique (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/david-camerons-bike-stolen-while-he-shopped-876200.html).
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 12 March, 2018, 05:07:04 pm
Today's Badly Locked Bike of Birmingham:

(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2018_03_12_16_05_52.sized.jpg)

Okay, not so bad, as you'd have to put a bit of effort in to drop the fork and do something about all those cables, but you do get an electric folding bike for your trouble.

But perhaps more interesting is the creative solution to making beam racks Not Shit:  Simply install them over an existing rack to help keep things lined up.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: cygnet on 12 March, 2018, 05:22:10 pm
Wouldn't you still have to work the front wheel through the chain though?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Greenbank on 12 March, 2018, 05:39:12 pm
But perhaps more interesting is the creative solution to making beam racks Not Shit:  Simply install them over an existing rack to help keep things lined up.

More likely is that the beam rack bag is incompatible with a normal rack so moving the whole beam rack setup between bikes (I'm assuming it's normally used on another bike that cannot fit a rack) is easier than decanting and repacking the contents.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 12 March, 2018, 05:43:25 pm
But perhaps more interesting is the creative solution to making beam racks Not Shit:  Simply install them over an existing rack to help keep things lined up.

More likely is that the beam rack bag is incompatible with a normal rack so moving the whole beam rack setup between bikes (I'm assuming it's normally used on another bike that cannot fit a rack) is easier than decanting and repacking the contents.

My guess was that it was to avoid the owner having to bend too much, which would also explain the poor locking style.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 March, 2018, 09:01:28 pm
Today's Badly Locked Bike of Birmingham:

(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2018_03_12_16_05_52.sized.jpg)
Doesn't look so badly locked to me. It would take some time to remove wheel and stem (do the bars fold up on that?) and then thread the frame out of the chain. Probably significant enough time that it would be far more likely for a thief to just cut the chain. And if you were gone for that long anyway (ie long enough to do it without cutting), the luggage would be stolen/emptied anyway.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: The Family Cyclist on 13 March, 2018, 07:04:54 pm
Alas no pictures but saw one of those d lock and cable combinations but the d lock was round the bike and the cable was round the fence so no need or advantage from the d lock
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 13 March, 2018, 07:25:32 pm

The next part of poorly locked of Amsterdam:

(http://photos.quixotic.eu/misc/badlock03_sm.jpg)

I don't know which impresses me most, the fact that they seem to have entirely missed the frame, or the Cameron approach to bollards...

Nearby I also found this offering for the similar range: what the fsck bikes of Amsterdam...

(http://photos.quixotic.eu/misc/badlock02_sm.jpg)

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: McWheels on 13 March, 2018, 09:48:01 pm
That second photo's a real journey isn't it? I started by thinking they'd actually got the frame properly, but it's a poor way to secure the saddle...Then there's a bent light, revealing no handlebars. And in turn, no brakes either...or cabling. Cold that day?

First one's got a horseshoe lock on the front at least, which could more efficiently be fitted to the rear triangle like yon white thing in the background.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Pingu on 13 March, 2018, 10:11:22 pm
(https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8678/16485913368_d4f62898f5_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/r7NBFE)
IMG_4819 (https://flic.kr/p/r7NBFE) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Greenbank on 14 March, 2018, 08:20:48 am
That second photo's a real journey isn't it? I started by thinking they'd actually got the frame properly, but it's a poor way to secure the saddle...Then there's a bent light, revealing no handlebars. And in turn, no brakes either...or cabling. Cold that day?

Erm, the frame is locked to the fence, and it's almost certainly been abandoned when the owner returned to find the handlebars (and possibly front brake) had been stolen, it looks like it retains a rear (coaster) brake though, so all is not lost. (Or it was abandoned by the owner and, over time, the handlebars/front-brakes have been stripped off it.)

Where bikes are ubiquitous there would have been little need to lock a cheap bike like this any more securely. No standard locking strategy will prevent your handlebars being stolen and it's probably cheaper to just get another hack bike than try and replace the stolen components.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 March, 2018, 08:28:55 am
The "portable" horseshoe lock on Quixoticgeek's first photo is interesting. I wonder if it just came loose over time or if it was deliberately removed, perhaps from another frame? Or perhaps bought separately and never fitted?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 21 March, 2018, 11:58:48 am
Not uploading the photos in case they're needed for evidence, but with several sturdy-looking cable locks in central Birmingham, when there's a guy with some suboptimally-sized bolt-cutters about.

I called the police to give a running commentary, and Bullring security decended from several directions in about the time it took for him to cut through the first lock.  Hopefully that's saved someone's bike (and in the unlikely event that he's the legitimate owner, reassured him that somebody gives a fuck).
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Basil on 21 March, 2018, 12:13:06 pm
Well done, Kim.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 March, 2018, 01:05:15 pm
awesome.

Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: hatler on 21 March, 2018, 01:59:34 pm
Very cool. Nice one.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Jurek on 21 March, 2018, 02:06:47 pm
Commendable.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Canardly on 21 March, 2018, 02:47:58 pm
Well done Kim.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 21 March, 2018, 06:40:32 pm
Not uploading the photos in case they're needed for evidence, but with several sturdy-looking cable locks in central Birmingham, when there's a guy with some suboptimally-sized bolt-cutters about.

I called the police to give a running commentary, and Bullring security decended from several directions in about the time it took for him to cut through the first lock.  Hopefully that's saved someone's bike (and in the unlikely event that he's the legitimate owner, reassured him that somebody gives a fuck).

Nicely done! Do post the photos once they are no longer needed as evidence (or are public domain)

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Joe.B on 21 March, 2018, 10:08:17 pm
Good spot, most impressive is that the local coppers actually gave a f#$k.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 21 March, 2018, 10:19:02 pm
Good spot, most impressive is that the local coppers actually gave a f#$k.

The operator seemed disappointed when it transpired that I wasn't talking about a motorbike, but I guessed that being between two major railway stations and in the shadow of some of Birmingham's finest Retail Opportunities meant there was a decent chance of a response quick enough to catch them red-handed.  Presumably the police are used to coordinating with the BTP and private security in the area, and the Bullring rent-a-cops were happy deal with something a little more constructive than intimidating teenagers and shooing away homeless people.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: CrazyEnglishTriathlete on 21 March, 2018, 10:23:23 pm
I'm sure I'm going to criticise anyone else.  Having problems working out how to lock an Airnimal to anything, when you the bike is designed to be taken apart with an Allen Key in 10 minutes.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 22 March, 2018, 12:25:00 am
Nicely done! Do post the photos once they are no longer needed as evidence (or are public domain)

I've just got round to actually looking at them (I've been busy in London all day).  One of them is a work of art.  Shifty look straight into the lens with bolt cutters and lock visible.  You couldn't pose one better.

Bike is an Ammaco (I thought they made crash barriers for motorways) low-end hybrid.  Three cable locks, the sturdiest of which looks like an armoured type, but not of an obvious brand.  The armour put up a respectable fight against the bolt cutters, considering, but that's not much good when most people just walk past without doing anything.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 March, 2018, 08:33:09 am
I thought Ammaco was an oil company! (Amoco, Armco, can't these businesses think up distinctive names?) Ammaco sponsored Tony Doyle when he was World Pursuit Champion, but the bikes were built by Chas Roberts and the brand is now sold at Tesco.

Good work, Kim.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: ElyDave on 22 March, 2018, 08:54:27 am
Amoco - bought by BP, late 90's, who then blew up the Texas City refinery.  I've been to a couple of ex Amoco, and now Ex-BP platforms in the north sea, they were built in a low cost era

Armco - crash barrier for bouncing cars off
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 22 March, 2018, 11:33:41 am
I'm sure I'm going to criticise anyone else.  Having problems working out how to lock an Airnimal to anything, when you the bike is designed to be taken apart with an Allen Key in 10 minutes.
Can you get a mini-u lock around a frame beam member, then use that as a locking point?

Gets a bit ridiculous though, you'll need to carry 3 locks. I'm not sure I'd dare leave an Airnimal anywhere.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: hatler on 22 March, 2018, 07:20:39 pm
Amoco - bought by BP, late 90's, who then blew up the Texas City refinery.  I've been to a couple of ex Amoco, and now Ex-BP platforms in the north sea, they were built in a low cost era

Armco - crash barrier for bouncing cars off
Pretty much everything that has gone wrong for BP since then (except for the Russian debacle) has happened in the US in what was legacy Amoco. My then boss asked an assembled townhall what the connection between a whole series of reputation-damaging BP disasters was. "Americans" I replied. I think he was looking for "lack of control" as the answer.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 10 April, 2018, 07:03:25 pm
Today's instalment of Badly Locked Bikes Of Birmingham:

(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2018_04_10_17_09_39.sized.jpg)

I'll give them 8/10 for quality of lock, 2/10 for application (points deducted for proximity to perfectly good Sheffield stands).  I suspect foreign students.

The mountain bike in the background illustrates standard Brummie D-lock technique.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 April, 2018, 08:37:33 pm
The mountain bike in the background illustrates standard Brummie D-lock technique.
Not just Brummie, I think it's standard everywhere (that has Sheffield stands). What's wrong with it? Or am I just imagining that you're implying criticism of it. Is it:
– because a great bike lock with a lot of unfilled space gives a thief lots of leverage and/or room for tools?
– because the wheels aren't secured?
– something else?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 21 April, 2018, 09:32:18 pm
Mostly those, but I'll add that lock through frame/wheel/stand tends to secure the bike in a way that's slightly less inclined to falling over, the importance of which tends to vary from location to location[1].  (Obviously a second lock or a loop of cable at the other wheel is even better in that respect.)


[1] I'd rate this a medium: Two-bikes-per-stand isn't uncommon at peak hours, but if a bike were to fall over, it's unlikely to be run over by a car or jumped on by oiks or anything.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Manotea on 21 April, 2018, 10:38:43 pm
I obviously score high on my general bike locking technique but some twunt did steal the back lights off my bike from a recent after dark shop stop. One off the saddlebag loop, the other from a clip. They obviously did not  know how to work the clip so just took the lens. I think they were just doing it for a laugh... how funny it would be, my riding at night and not realising I didn't have any back lights. The far more expensive front light on my bars wasn't touched, or maybe just too hard to take off and/or break.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 April, 2018, 10:38:15 am
Having a bike fall-over-able at the stand is both a plus and a minus. Bad for your bike obviously but good for the person who parks on the other side of the same stand, as often it's necessary to manoeuvre the first bike in order to get your lock round (any part of) the stand. And thus possibly also good for your bike, in that having it pushed to one side a little might be better than getting scraped with other person's lock, maybe.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 04 May, 2018, 12:08:57 pm
Today's Badly Locked Bike Of Birmingham:

(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2018_04_30_15_39_34.sized.jpg)

Step 1: Remove QR front wheel.
Step 2: Thread handlebars and fork through cable lock.
Step 3: Skulk off with rest of bike.

Except, this one has a bonus security feature: The rear wheel and drive train are in such an appalling state that no respectable bike thief would bother.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Pingu on 13 May, 2018, 06:37:32 pm
As above:

(https://farm1.staticflickr.com/907/27214984197_9d6b00c2f5_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/HsTUDt)
IMG_0745_01 (https://flic.kr/p/HsTUDt) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 July, 2018, 10:39:29 am
(https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1782/42454892475_66287f5956_c.jpg)

So near and yet so far.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: ElyDave on 21 July, 2018, 09:39:29 pm
I almost did that^^^^, this morning :facepalm:
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 21 July, 2018, 09:50:26 pm
Ah, that reminds me, I spotted this earlier:

(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2018_07_21_15_01_25.sized.jpg)

Through the wheel and under the rack, but not actually through the frame of the bike.  The cheapo cable lock was doing the business at the other end.  I reckon they'd probably get away with it, given the unappealingness of a bike with no back wheel.

(What I actually got the camera-phone out for was some impressive motorised bollard carnage, but it doesn't appear to have saved that one.)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 July, 2018, 01:29:44 pm
Using a Bordo as an oversized, non-fixed nurses-dutch-horsering-shoe lock?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 22 July, 2018, 01:37:30 pm
I didn't see the rider, but a lot of poor locking strategy seems to result from the user avoiding bending/crouching for whatever reason (not just disability, I've seen people do half-arsed jobs of locking bikes because their hands were full of those silly cloth carrier bags[1], for example).


[1] You know, the ones that don't stay closed and with handles that are too short for your shoulder and too long for your hand.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Joe.B on 25 July, 2018, 08:24:53 pm
This weeks prize must surely go to; Mrs B.  Cycled it to town recently with the little guy, parked our bikes at the same stand as Mrs B and spotted that her D-lock and cable was still strapped down atop the rack :facepalm:
Luckily she had only arrived 5 min before we had and my lock was long enough to secure all three bikes.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Jurek on 29 July, 2018, 10:59:12 am
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/929/43660648622_c6ccec950d_b.jpg)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 July, 2018, 12:14:23 pm
It looks a fairly crappy generic lock, and yet the thief has found it easier to undo four bolts than cut one cable. Kind of disturbing.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Jurek on 29 July, 2018, 12:23:21 pm
That's SE London for you.
High footfall area just outside the station.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 29 July, 2018, 12:25:16 pm
I suppose there's the advantage that fiddling with bikes with allen keys doesn't look particularly suspicious (unless you're black).  Same goes for carrying them.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 July, 2018, 12:30:19 pm
Yep. Though it's only a matter of time till you need to be over 25 to buy them.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 29 July, 2018, 12:44:43 pm
I got IDed for a wallpaper scraper once.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Jurek on 29 July, 2018, 01:00:14 pm
Going equipped to scrape?

There's a telegraph pole in my road which, until  few days ago had, at its base, a nice, shiny, new padlock and chain which had been recently cropped to liberate the bike which had been attached to it for a couple of weeks or so.

Ordinarily, something like this would disturb me - occurring, as it did, so close to my home.
On this occasion however, the bike which was removed was a Santander hire bike, and I suspect the removal was carried out by its rightful owner.

Meanwhile, I delight in the knowledge that at least one of my neighbours is a thief.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 July, 2018, 02:08:56 pm
I got IDed for a wallpaper scraper once.
You're always getting into scrapes.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Jurek on 29 July, 2018, 08:25:39 pm
Meanwhile, I delight in the knowledge that at least one of my neighbours is a thief.
:jurek:
I would not be happy if I found out one of my neighbours is a thief. At least if something goes missing
you know who to initially suspect.
I think you get my point....
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 24 April, 2019, 12:50:29 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48035577

No details of the bike or lock, but I wouldn't lock up any bike worth touring on on Borough High Street unless I was keeping an eye on it the whole time.  -10 points to the hostel.

Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: grams on 24 April, 2019, 05:25:12 pm
This says "chained with a padlock", which doesn't inspire much confidence. Also leaving a bike in high traffic location for two days running is a guarantee someone will spot it and come back with tools.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwh22AdHJrG/

(looks like a fairly generic steel tourer with a couple of generation old components, so hopefully not too expensive to replace, although still a total pain in the arse)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 24 April, 2019, 05:28:26 pm
I don't think any lock you'd want to tour with is really rated for That London.

Hope he gets sorted out.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on 24 April, 2019, 09:26:26 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48035577
  -10 points to the hostel.

Total bastards.*

*Assuming it is physically possible to get a bike in. If not, moderate bastards for not letting him know.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: T42 on 25 April, 2019, 10:20:16 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-48035577
  -10 points to the hostel.

Total bastards.*

*Assuming it is physically possible to get a bike in. If not, moderate bastards for not letting him know.

Quote
The more I think about it, if somebody's stealing a bike then they're probably not in a good place in their life

I sincerely hope so.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: De Sisti on 25 April, 2019, 10:42:45 am

Quote
The more I think about it, if somebody's stealing a bike then they're probably not in a good place in their life

I watched a video earlier today on the Cycling Weekly website of a group of four blokes, dressed
in black clothing with their faces covered, break into a bike store and steal multiple mountain bikes.
I presume not in a good place in their lives too. :hand:
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 16 July, 2019, 02:19:25 pm


Sometimes you see a bike parked so badly you just stop, and look on in awe:

Amsterdam, you've excelled yourself;

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D_mXBSTX4AIyIyB?format=jpg&name=medium)

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 July, 2019, 02:39:28 pm
Is that bad parking, art installation or student prank?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 16 July, 2019, 03:00:47 pm
Is that bad parking, art installation or student prank?

I honestly can't work out the answer to that one...

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Ham on 16 July, 2019, 03:43:01 pm
I seem to remember having a regular ride with a group in London and having a maximum-bike-locked-to-a-single-lampost regular event that used to look like that. Wooly, were you there, too? What was it? Post critical mass? Summat else? The one thing I do remember is that the lamposts were all outside pubs, quel suprise.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 16 July, 2019, 03:46:25 pm
Back in the early days of MTBing, there was 'bike derby' which finished with piling all the bikes in a heap before adjourning for beer and other activities. I'd guess something similar is happening here.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Jurek on 16 July, 2019, 07:29:30 pm
I believe LFGSS have form for parking bike-tree fashion.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: grams on 16 July, 2019, 08:01:49 pm
It's a necessity if you finish a ride at a pub and there's only one lamp post to lock to.

https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/bikepile/
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Andrij on 17 July, 2019, 09:20:54 am
I seem to remember having a regular ride with a group in London and having a maximum-bike-locked-to-a-single-lampost regular event that used to look like that. Wooly, were you there, too? What was it? Post critical mass? Summat else? The one thing I do remember is that the lamposts were all outside pubs, quel suprise.

Friday Night Ride?  (no coasts involved).  I did a few of these, probably when I first met Wooly.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Ham on 17 July, 2019, 09:26:11 am
Could well have been, yes.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 01 October, 2019, 06:10:00 pm
Today's edition of Badly Locked Bikes Of Birmingham:
(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2019_10_01_15_40_31.sized.jpg)

Not entirely clear in the photo, but that's a full-sized D-lock.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: CommuteTooFar on 14 October, 2019, 03:09:30 pm
I once carefully locked my bike to a lamp post and went for lunch.  When I came back I could not find my keys until I found them in the lock.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Nightmare-1 on 01 November, 2019, 02:59:58 am
I came out of the shop a few weeks ago to find a couple of "$h!t$" trying to get the lock off MY trike.

I went over to them and Asked if they needed any Help with that.
After getting bad mouthed I "cracked" both of them on the ankles with the New "Pedal spanner" I'd just bought then calmly unlocked the trike and rode off!

I did call an ambulance before I left (saying that two lads appear to be injured outside Halfords shop in E###n).

Interestingly a few days later I was Stopped & asked by the local police if I knew anything about the assault that had happened!

Evidently two locals had been hospitalised with broken ankles after trying to steal a bike (their own admission) when the owner attacked them with an iron bar!

Oh, say's I "They got off lightly then 'cause if it had been my "Trike" they had tried to steal I'd have broken their hands as well". :demon:

Mr policeman: Good job it wasn't you then. ;)
It was a good job I had a hat on at the time of the incident as I've got a distinctive/unique hairstyle (no hat when talking to police).

Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Jurek on 01 November, 2019, 05:57:09 am
I came out of the shop a few weeks ago to find a couple of "$h!t$" trying to get the lock off MY trike.

I went over to them and Asked if they needed any Help with that.
After getting bad mouthed I "cracked" both of them on the ankles with the New "Pedal spanner" I'd just bought then calmly unlocked the trike and rode off!

I did call an ambulance before I left (saying that two lads appear to be injured outside Halfords shop in E###n).

Interestingly a few days later I was Stopped & asked by the local police if I knew anything about the assault that had happened!

Evidently two locals had been hospitalised with broken ankles after trying to steal a bike (their own admission) when the owner attacked them with an iron bar!

Oh, say's I "They got off lightly then 'cause if it had been my "Trike" they had tried to steal I'd have broken their hands as well". :demon:

Mr policeman: Good job it wasn't you then. ;)
It was a good job I had a hat on at the time of the incident as I've got a distinctive/unique hairstyle (no hat when talking to police).
And this is good. Yes?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 01 November, 2019, 06:25:31 am
I don’t like thieves.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 01 November, 2019, 11:46:19 pm
I came out of the shop a few weeks ago to find a couple of "$h!t$" trying to get the lock off MY trike.

Mr policeman: Good job it wasn't you then. ;)
It was a good job I had a hat on at the time of the incident as I've got a distinctive/unique hairstyle (no hat when talking to police).

Only you have now confessed to a potential offense on a public internet forum. Whilst you could probably claim self defense, your ability to claim that you used reasonable force to do so would hinge on what you consider it reasonable to pay a lawyer to defend you...

What is more, no doubt a trike is a distinctive vehicle, even here where pedal vehicles out number humans, non bakfiets trikes are a rare beast. Thus you leave yourself open to retribution as you're an easy to identify target.

Whilst I appreciate the story and do approve of your approach to education of bike thieves, one might suggest your opsec could use some work.

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 20 April, 2020, 09:42:56 pm
Just noticed a neighbour had locked their bike up, putting the chain through the rear wheel, and looped over the saddle, but not the frame. It's a very stealable bike in a public location. You could take the rear wheel off and have a very nice bike for the cost of a new rear wheel.

So I knocked on the door to tell her. Her English isn't so good (it's her 3rd or 4th language), so it was a struggle. Made worse by the fact it's 2230, I'm wearing a mask, and standing in the dark corridor. I hope she goes to fix the lock, it would be a shame to lose the bike.

J

PS I'll post a photo once I know it's been relocked.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Joe.B on 25 April, 2020, 10:04:54 am
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49816778122_3e1e7c12dc_k.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2iU91xC)IMG_20200420_112029870 (https://flic.kr/p/2iU91xC) by Joe B (https://www.flickr.com/photos/84858164@N02/), on Flickr

In the bike shed at work, secured with a tie-wrap.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: De Sisti on 25 April, 2020, 10:19:27 am
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49816778122_3e1e7c12dc_k.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2iU91xC)IMG_20200420_112029870 (https://flic.kr/p/2iU91xC) by Joe B (https://www.flickr.com/photos/84858164@N02/), on Flickr

In the bike shed at work, secured with a tie-wrap.
Probably forgot their lock and had to make-do/improvise?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: eckagain on 25 April, 2020, 11:00:39 am
https://www.chainreactioncycles.com/hiplok-z-lok-cable-tie-lock-twin-pack/rp-prod164159 (https://www.chainreactioncycles.com/hiplok-z-lok-cable-tie-lock-twin-pack/rp-prod164159)
One of these perhaps?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 25 April, 2020, 11:27:41 am
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49816778122_3e1e7c12dc_k.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2iU91xC)IMG_20200420_112029870 (https://flic.kr/p/2iU91xC) by Joe B (https://www.flickr.com/photos/84858164@N02/), on Flickr

In the bike shed at work, secured with a tie-wrap.

That looks like someone's checking for abandoned bikes, rather than a security measure.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: JonBuoy on 25 April, 2020, 11:32:40 am
That looks suspiciously like a snipped tie-wrap on the floor.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 April, 2020, 11:50:09 am
Definitely one, black, and possibly another, white, by the leaf just to the left of the back wheel.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Joe.B on 26 April, 2020, 09:33:52 pm
I hadn't noticed this particular bike until I took the above photo but perhaps he/she routinely secures with tie-wraps.

This particular bike shed requires an RFID tag to enter/exit so is reasonably secure, a few people don't bother locking up at all.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: eckagain on 27 April, 2020, 11:07:37 am
While you were all obsessing about the "tie wrap" securing the Cannondale, somebody has nicked the white Orbea next to it.
It's not a tie wrap.
It's one of these: https://www.chainreactioncycles.com/hiplok-z-lok-cable-tie-lock-twin-pack/rp-prod164159 (https://www.chainreactioncycles.com/hiplok-z-lok-cable-tie-lock-twin-pack/rp-prod164159)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 30 November, 2020, 05:15:28 pm
Today's edition of Badly Locked Bikes Of Birmingham:

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2020_11_30_16_05_37.sized.jpg)

See that front QR?  It was flapping in the breeze.  Not just unclamped, but totally loose, to the point where the lawyer lips were likely to be ineffective.  I did the decent thing, but didn't have anything with me to leave a note.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 November, 2020, 07:38:22 pm
Isn't that the Cameron technique? Tho TBF you would probably need to remove the saddle and/or seatpost before slipping the lock out, and that requires, ooh, a 5mm allen key?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 30 November, 2020, 08:15:54 pm
I think it's technically an inverse-Cameron.  Cameron is lock through the bike frame and round an easily-lifted-over bollard.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 November, 2020, 08:24:24 pm
Now you've jogged my memory, I think you're right. I'd say this unknown person has a slight edge in the security stakes over the pink-faced smarmster. Probably better at being PM too.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Paul on 01 December, 2020, 10:23:18 am
At least the lock is safe.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: sib on 01 December, 2020, 10:40:55 am
I found the clashing colours a strong deterrent.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Paul H on 01 December, 2020, 11:14:38 am
See that front QR?  It was flapping in the breeze.  Not just unclamped, but totally loose, to the point where the lawyer lips were likely to be ineffective.  I did the decent thing, but didn't have anything with me to leave a note.
Maybe that was a security feature, easy to nick, faceplant before getting very far.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 01 December, 2020, 11:17:00 am
See that front QR?  It was flapping in the breeze.  Not just unclamped, but totally loose, to the point where the lawyer lips were likely to be ineffective.  I did the decent thing, but didn't have anything with me to leave a note.
Maybe that was a security feature, easy to nick, faceplant before getting very far.

I doubt the brakes were up to a faceplant.  Unexpected unicycle at the first speed bump seems more likely.

I assume it got that way because someone who doesn't undertand QR levers tightened it up wingnut style, and it loosened over time.  The state of the tyres suggests the bike's been ridden a decent amount, and it looked like the gears were in some approximation of working order, so presumably gently enough that the wheel was retained by gravity.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 December, 2020, 11:32:58 am
Someone otp, I think it was Wobbly John, recounts not discovering till after several jumps that the QR on his mtb's front wheel was not done up. At all.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: hatler on 01 December, 2020, 11:41:57 am
"Several jumps" ?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 December, 2020, 12:20:26 pm
Something like that... I'm sure he'll be along in a while with the correct details.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 19 October, 2021, 11:48:00 pm
This Badly Locked Bike Of Birmingham was notable for the sheer determination of somebody to turn a low-end MTB into a multi-purpose practical form of transport.  Some particularly interesting bodgery going on with the kickstand and rear rack. I strongly suspect that the hub motor may be worth more than the rest of the bike.

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/IMG_20211019_152707846.sized.jpg)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 October, 2021, 09:58:51 am
Objection: a low-end MTB is a multi-purpose practical form of transport. It's just important to note that none of those purposes is mountain biking. And with that front-hub motor, they quite likely don't include pedalling either.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 20 October, 2021, 10:27:54 am
I wasn't sure where the battery goes.  There were danglewires around the head tube, but not of the sort of gauge I'd expect for power, and no battery bracket on the bottle cage mounts.  My best guess was that it's either molished into the hub, or (as would be in keeping with the general aesthetic) lobbed in the front basket.

Also note the presence of both a child seat bracket and a trailer hitch.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 October, 2021, 10:34:21 am
I see there's also a cable locking the rear wheel to the frame, although it looks long enough to reach the stand if they'd wanted. And is that a mirror mounted in a curious fashion on the bar end? There's a black rectangle with some sort of bracket or wires curving down in that direction.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 20 October, 2021, 10:37:02 am
I see there's also a cable locking the rear wheel to the frame, although it looks long enough to reach the stand if they'd wanted.

That was what qualified it for badly locked status.


Quote
And is that a mirror mounted in a curious fashion on the bar end? There's a black rectangle with some sort of bracket or wires curving down in that direction.

Yes, a mirror.  Chinesium motorbike eBay style.  The ebike console (in as much as it has one, it's just a couple of switches and flattery status blinkenlights) is on the left handlebar grip.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: matthew on 20 October, 2021, 12:33:16 pm
This Badly Locked Bike Of Birmingham was notable for the sheer determination of somebody to turn a low-end MTB into a multi-purpose practical form of transport.  Some particularly interesting bodgery going on with the kickstand and rear rack. I strongly suspect that the hub motor may be worth more than the rest of the bike.

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/IMG_20211019_152707846.sized.jpg)

My bold but this makes securing the front wheel highly appropriate. In my mind it is only the rear cable not being extended to the stand that is questionable.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 October, 2021, 12:53:44 pm
GP although that looks like the sort of D lock that will fall apart with a good kick.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 October, 2021, 10:40:23 am

One of my neighbours has taken to parking their bike on the kick stand in such a way as to block the path.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FCYsRxQXEAExRCU?format=jpg&name=large)

I've taken to rotating it 180° when it's there. Hoping that they will get the hint...

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FCYsOB2WUAA5k3E?format=jpg&name=large)

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 24 October, 2021, 11:20:43 am
I'm just envious of the bike:car ratio on that street. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 24 October, 2021, 11:24:42 am
And the un-b0rked state and general levelness of the paving slabs...
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 October, 2021, 11:39:57 am
I'm just envious of the bike:car ratio on that street. :thumbsup:

The Gemeente came round this week and stuck a load of stickers on the bikes. Any bike with a sticker still on it in two weeks will be taken away. Also by night time, the road is packed with cars, with not enough spaces for the number of cars the building occupants have. I would love the Gemeente to replace some of the car spaces with proper parking for the bikes. Currently there is a sort of low railing along in front of the building and people just lean their bikes against it. Which looks really ugly. I've asked building manglement to install Sheffield stands for us to use. But they aren't sure if it's our land, or the Gemeente.

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 October, 2021, 12:00:16 pm
There's surely some definitive map. They just need to be mustelided.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 October, 2021, 12:04:47 pm
There's surely some definitive map. They just need to be mustelided.

Well yes, but noone's sure who has to do that research, when it's just the crazy Brit asking...

Incidentally, behind where these photos were taken there used to be a street light. which with the bikes parked there basically rendered the path impassable. Esp as a moped owner used to lock their moped to it, taking up all the space. I reported it to the Gemeente, who came out and moved it across the road.

And then came out again a week or so later, and moved it again a bit further up, cos it was blocking the bin truck from coming to empty the submerged bins. I think I've spoken about that in this thread, and certainly on this fora somewhere...

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 October, 2021, 12:45:35 pm
You have and it suggests that you have well developed badgerbilities.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Lightning Phil on 24 October, 2021, 12:56:56 pm
This Badly Locked Bike Of Birmingham was notable for the sheer determination of somebody to turn a low-end MTB into a multi-purpose practical form of transport.  Some particularly interesting bodgery going on with the kickstand and rear rack. I strongly suspect that the hub motor may be worth more than the rest of the bike.

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/IMG_20211019_152707846.sized.jpg)

Interesting extra struts added to seat post mounted  rack plus what looks like tow hitch at back.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Pingu on 30 October, 2021, 06:01:57 pm
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51641751036_3ecf1e4c83_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2mFptpS)
IMG_9141_01 (https://flic.kr/p/2mFptpS) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 27 December, 2021, 12:51:52 pm


(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/FHiZo5pX0AELF_9.jpg)

Found on twitter...

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 06 February, 2022, 03:24:51 pm
Today's edition of Badly Locked Bikes of Birmingham would be unremarkable if not for the presence of a Never Ready Night Rider rear lamp...

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2022_02_04_15_50_50.sized.jpg)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Basil on 06 February, 2022, 03:57:32 pm
Wow. That's survived well.  Probably found in dad's bits box, where it has been sitting since bought 40 years ago.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 06 February, 2022, 04:03:58 pm
Wow. That's survived well.  Probably found in dad's bits box, where it has been sitting since bought 40 years ago.

Yeah, it probably went on the shelf after the front light got eaten by the wheel...
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: MartinC on 06 February, 2022, 06:45:44 pm
Yebbut, you don't know whether it works or not.  In fact nobody does, I've never come across one that worked all the time but many did some of the time so I guess it's a bit like Schrodingers cat.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 06 February, 2022, 07:25:53 pm
I remember using one to develop b&w photographs from a pinhole camera when I was a kid.  It worked much better for that than it did on a bike.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 19 February, 2022, 07:47:49 pm

Less "how not to lock up your bike" and more

"Where not to lock up your bike"

(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/FL8SweFWUAQbcDd.jpg)

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 February, 2022, 08:02:51 pm
I'd say they're secure from thieves but vulnerable to pirates and archaeologists.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 19 February, 2022, 08:03:58 pm
IIRC the last Tunnel Ride ended in similar circumstances  ;D
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 28 February, 2022, 04:44:16 pm
Today's edition of Badly Locked Bikes of Birmingham fails to qualify on a technicality...

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2022_02_28_15_01_05.sized.jpg)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 February, 2022, 05:12:30 pm
Ha! Cool but bonkers. I'm presuming it's vole powered – would be even coolerer and bonkerser if steam powered!

(But but but... the technicality? I mean, it is definitely a bike and there's nothing in the thread title about pedals... )
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 28 February, 2022, 05:17:54 pm
Fair point.

Also, look at the ickle kick stand.  Isn't it cute!
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 February, 2022, 05:19:53 pm
I note a shiny brake rotor on the rear wheel, and an empty caliper mount on the front. Skidtastic!
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 17 July, 2022, 10:30:39 pm
Today's Badly Locked Bike of Birmingham demonstrates an unusual application of wheelbender lock technique, possibly due to the concrete block (supporting a 20mph speed limit sign) preventing proper use of the M-type stand:

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2022_07_17_17_14_05.sized.jpg)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 06 August, 2022, 05:37:28 pm
I tried these stands at my local shopping centre out today, but didn't get further than trying.

(https://i.ibb.co/CMFpqKf/20220806-124313.jpg)

It turned out that the tubing was actually too thick for my D lock to fit around it. :facepalm: Ended up locking the bike to the trolley enclosure instead.

No wonder they're empty... ::-)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: graculus on 06 August, 2022, 08:53:19 pm
They also look quite close together, enough room for one bike per stand? (which is not necessarily a bad thing, but the same capacity might have been possible with only 3 stands rather than 5)
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 06 August, 2022, 08:56:54 pm
They also look quite close together, enough room for one bike per stand? (which is not necessarily a bad thing, but the same capacity might have been possible with only 3 stands rather than 5)

Yes, definitely too close together as well. I presume they were designed by someone who'd once seen a Sheffield stand and thus had a rough idea what they look like, but had never actually tried to use one...
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Basil on 06 August, 2022, 09:17:33 pm
Andy Warhole showing how not to lock up a bike.
Andy Warhol with a bike. https://t.co/urh8BvIhwz
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 06 August, 2022, 10:20:35 pm
They also look quite close together, enough room for one bike per stand? (which is not necessarily a bad thing, but the same capacity might have been possible with only 3 stands rather than 5)

Yes, definitely too close together as well. I presume they were designed by someone who'd once seen a Sheffield stand and thus had a rough idea what they look like, but had never actually tried to use one...

Probably the person who did the ones at the old Sainsbury's in Silly Oak: Tubes too thick and stands too high.  Sensible distance apart, though.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Kim on 14 September, 2022, 01:26:07 pm
Monday's Badly Locked Bike of Birmingham was pretty much brand new:

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/badly_locked_bikes/2022_09_12_15_29_12.sized.jpg)

I doubt it'll survive long enough for the chain to rust with that locking technique.  In the absence of anything I could scribble a note with, I hung around for a bit in the hope of meeting the owner and pointing out the error, but they didn't appear.
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 10 February, 2023, 04:44:34 pm

Not so much poor use of locks, as just selfish parking.

(https://social.v.st/system/media_attachments/files/109/841/390/119/341/562/original/6102b7fd16a0657f.jpg)

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 February, 2023, 06:02:40 pm
The Brompton... what, if anything, is it locked to? I'm amazed that it can be safe to leave that for more than two minutes in Amsterdam. Or is it yours and you had one simply put it there while taking the photo?
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 10 February, 2023, 09:11:01 pm
The Brompton... what, if anything, is it locked to? I'm amazed that it can be safe to leave that for more than two minutes in Amsterdam. Or is it yours and you had one simply put it there while taking the photo?

The Brompton is mine just sat there while I take the photo. And before I go into the supermarket.

J
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 11 February, 2023, 04:13:59 pm
At work they provided some very nice Sheffield stands, under two very nice shelters. 

Unfortunately in one shelter the stands, in three rows of two, were placed parallel to the shelter exit.  It was possible to reach the stands at the back when the shelter was empty, otherwise, only the stands next to the exit could be used - other than by lifting your bike over ones already there.   
Title: Re: How Not To Lock Up Your Bike
Post by: quixoticgeek on 21 February, 2023, 07:42:55 pm


(https://social.v.st/system/media_attachments/files/109/904/143/054/556/864/original/d8a1a2395dd7da9b.jpg)

The line between parked and discarded is very blurry...

J