Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread (Read 436190 times)

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #125 on:** 01 May, 2016, 12:04:36 pm »

I knew I'd done about 800km in April already and yesterday's ride was around 150km. So I thought to myself I could just pop out for a quick 50km on Sunday to make it 1000km for the month.

Guy · « **Reply #126 on:** 03 May, 2016, 03:46:35 pm »

And some rotten swine had nicked the last day of the month?

30 days hath September, APRIL June and November...

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #127 on:** 03 May, 2016, 04:02:25 pm »

Not quite, no. It was one of the previous days they'd nicked. On Saturday I was convinced it was the 29th not the 30th.

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #128 on:** 04 May, 2016, 10:00:52 am »

Forgot to check that MrsC had paid the car VED when she got the mot done. No reminder letter arrived.

Perils of electronic only

She got pulled over for no VED. fine of £260. Vehicle address is still our old address which is odd seeing as we got reminder letter and paid last year from new address. Not sure how that has worked out.

Andrij · « **Reply #129 on:** 06 May, 2016, 12:18:58 am »

Met a friend in South London for a bit of theatre this evening. Locked up my bike outside Clapham North Station and ... left my Garmin on the handlebars.

Thankfully still there upon my return.

Torslanda · « **Reply #130 on:** 06 May, 2016, 01:13:06 am »

Not something you would bet on in Manchester...

andrewc · « **Reply #131 on:** 15 May, 2016, 11:08:41 pm »

Rode the 9Km to my parents for Sunday dinner. A large meal with copious vino.

Had a snooze then rode home. Carried the bike up 8 flights of stairs then realised I'd left my rackpack with phone, wallet & keys at theirs.....How they laughed & jeered when I turned up again.

Last week I walked home from work without my jacket (it was warm). Luckily all the important stuff was in my manbag.

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #132 on:** 16 May, 2016, 09:23:34 pm »

Wondering where my commuting mitts are.

L CC · « **Reply #133 on:** 16 May, 2016, 10:58:29 pm »

Mr Smith asked if I'd had any shimmys or wobbles descending at the weekend.
Because the headset was really loose.

When I fitted this I hadn't tightened it up properly.
Fecking div.

menthel · « **Reply #134 on:** 17 May, 2016, 11:11:17 am »

Quote from: Andrij on 06 May, 2016, 12:18:58 am

Met a friend in South London for a bit of theatre this evening. Locked up my bike outside Clapham North Station and ... left my Garmin on the handlebars. Thankfully still there upon my return.

I have had less luck than that nipping inside with my bike on the street outside my house on a quiet suburban street!

Oaky · « **Reply #135 on:** 17 May, 2016, 07:20:52 pm »

I am on a train. There are no seats, standing in the vestibule so I decide that since I am standing anyway I may as well so some exercise, so adopted a 90 degree leg angle against the wall to "feel the burn in my quads..."

Cue the entire carriage witnessing me land on my arse as my feet slipped out forwards...

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #136 on:** 17 May, 2016, 07:37:23 pm »

^am on tenterhooks....

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #137 on:** 17 May, 2016, 07:37:55 pm »

Quote from: Mrs Pingu on 16 May, 2016, 09:23:34 pm

Wondering where my commuting mitts are.

Looked properly, found them.

rogerzilla · « **Reply #138 on:** 17 May, 2016, 09:56:30 pm »

I got on a Brompton and rode it off without fastening the main hinge. Amazingly, I managed about five yards before it became apparent that something was very wrong with the handling and the rear wheel was catching the front one. Wobbly John would probably have just kept going.

andrewc · « **Reply #139 on:** 17 May, 2016, 10:08:24 pm »

Quote from: rogerzilla on 17 May, 2016, 09:56:30 pm

I got on a Brompton and rode it off without fastening the main hinge. Amazingly, I managed about five yards before it became apparent that something was very wrong with the handling and the rear wheel was catching the front one. Wobbly John would probably have just kept going.

Getting towards the end of a 4 week tour I'd neglected to check the S&S couplings on the Thorn..... having your downtube separate mid ride is interesting....

Kim · « **Reply #140 on:** 18 May, 2016, 01:25:09 pm »

Quote from: rogerzilla on 17 May, 2016, 09:56:30 pm

I got on a Brompton and rode it off without fastening the main hinge. Amazingly, I managed about five yards before it became apparent that something was very wrong with the handling and the rear wheel was catching the front one. Wobbly John would probably have just kept going.

That happened to someone on a FNRttC last year. They thought something was seriously wrong with the front wheel, and stopped to look at it and started up again a couple of times before I spotted the loose hinge.

Pingu · « **Reply #141 on:** 18 May, 2016, 02:29:31 pm »

Quote from: andrewc on 17 May, 2016, 10:08:24 pm

Quote from: rogerzilla on 17 May, 2016, 09:56:30 pm
I got on a Brompton and rode it off without fastening the main hinge. Amazingly, I managed about five yards before it became apparent that something was very wrong with the handling and the rear wheel was catching the front one. Wobbly John would probably have just kept going.

Getting towards the end of a 4 week tour I'd neglected to check the S&S couplings on the Thorn..... having your downtube separate mid ride is interesting....

McNasty in Germany comes to mind...

TimC · « **Reply #142 on:** 18 May, 2016, 04:29:40 pm »

Quote from: Tim Hall on 01 February, 2016, 10:02:38 pm

Quote from: spesh on 01 February, 2016, 06:24:51 pm
Quote from: Mr Larrington on 01 February, 2016, 06:16:04 pm
Quote from: Zipperhead on 01 February, 2016, 02:10:06 pm
Quote from: Mr Larrington on 01 February, 2016, 09:42:36 am
So what words for a person displaying membership of the Thick Tendency can one use without offending anyone (except the target, obv)?

A Benny

Tied to a tree?

One version has it than "benny" derives from "bender" so is probably offensive to gayers. If it's him out of "Crossroads" then it's probably OK.

IIRC, "Benny" was (and probably still is) used as army slang for a resident of the Falkland Islands, and was derived from the aforementioned soap character.

Hence my reference to "Still" upthread. It goes something like this:

Hofficer: "Soldier, stop calling the residents of the Falklands Bennies. I understand it is a derogatory term, derived from a character in Crossroads."
Soldier:"But Sir"
Hofficer:"Or I shall put you on a charge"
Soldier:"Yes Sah!"
<time passes>
Hofficer:"Soldier, why are you calling the residents of the Falklands 'Stills'?"
Soldier:"Because they're still Bennies, Sah!"

Said story is true, and was compounded by it actually being put in print by the authorities that the locals were not to be referred to as 'Bennys'. Hence 'Stills' became the unofficial term. Someone in power managed to resist banning 'Stills', though the troops were ready for that eventuality with the pre-prepared term 'Andys', i.e. 'and he's still a fecking Benny'.

Feanor · « **Reply #143 on:** 18 May, 2016, 10:57:23 pm »

I've been left with the task of fettling Mrs. Fs lapdog whilst she is away.

Fettling done, I decided to take an image of it, onto an external USB drive which was otherwise spare.
So I plugged it in and decided to format it before using it.

Half way through the format, I noticed I was formatting the SD card ( for there is such a slot on the lapdog ), and not the external HDD.
The SD card with our holliberry photos.
AAARG!

Fortunately, I had copied all those photos onto my PC a few weeks ago, so I was able to hastily restore the SD card and say nowt.

Andrij · « **Reply #144 on:** 30 May, 2016, 12:48:25 pm »

I bought slim-line tonic water instead of 'full-fat'.

ElyDave · « **Reply #145 on:** 30 May, 2016, 01:06:06 pm »

Quote from: Andrij on 30 May, 2016, 12:48:25 pm

I bought slim-line tonic water instead of 'full-fat'.

Same hear, except it was milk. Familiarity problem, reached for the normal shelf, checked the date, product in the wrong place.

hellymedic · « **Reply #146 on:** 30 May, 2016, 01:21:44 pm »

At least they've mostly standardised the lid colours now, though I appreciate this does not help the colour-blind.
Skimmed is RED
Semi-skimmed is GREEN
Full fat is BLUE.

Andrij · « **Reply #147 on:** 30 May, 2016, 01:24:20 pm »

Quote from: ElyDave on 30 May, 2016, 01:06:06 pm

Quote from: Andrij on 30 May, 2016, 12:48:25 pm
I bought slim-line tonic water instead of 'full-fat'.

Same hear, except it was milk. Familiarity problem, reached for the normal shelf, checked the date, product in the wrong place.

Horrible. I can't imagine gin going well with any type of milk!

Kim · « **Reply #148 on:** 30 May, 2016, 01:27:47 pm »

Primary colours are about as colour-blind friendly as they get, thobut.

Anyway, if you can't discriminate the colour, you'll be used to reading the label (and probably think of people picking milk without checking as silly).

Unless it's something where you aren't aware of there being a choice, like when you accidentally buy a low-fat version of something. I once came home with a bottle of lime juice (pancakes, for the sprinkling of) because it was in a continuous shelf next to the lemon juice. I couldn't see the colour difference, and didn't think to read the label because what else was it going to be?

Polar Bear · « **Reply #149 on:** 30 May, 2016, 01:31:10 pm »

Thanks for reminding me Kim that buying milk in France can be amusing.