The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[hellymedic]

Put a pizza in the oven last night for tea. Got it out and realised I had forgotten to take the polystyrene disc of the bottom first.

my sister once did that with a chicken, forgot to take the elastic off the legs 

I never take the elastic off the legs prior to roasting.

Elastic is removed during carving.

[ElyDave]

Put a pizza in the oven last night for tea. Got it out and realised I had forgotten to take the polystyrene disc of the bottom first.

my sister once did that with a chicken, forgot to take the elastic off the legs 

I never take the elastic off the legs prior to roasting.

Elastic is removed during carving.

This chicken tasted rubbery, and that's not a reference to the old joke.

[Ruthie]

Pizza was surprisingly OK.  The disk hadn't stuck to the pizza at all but had formed a 1 micron thick layer over the silicon pizza rack I was cooking it on. New rack needed I thought but a quick flex of the rack and it all peeled off in one go like sunburnt skin.
I'm going to die painfully in the near future for eating that pizza aren't I ....

Nah.  Crusty did that once, except he ate the pizza with the polystyrene disc intact.  He's still alive as far as I know.

[Asterix, the former Gaul.]

Pizza was surprisingly OK.  The disk hadn't stuck to the pizza at all but had formed a 1 micron thick layer over the silicon pizza rack I was cooking it on. New rack needed I thought but a quick flex of the rack and it all peeled off in one go like sunburnt skin.
I'm going to die painfully in the near future for eating that pizza aren't I ....

Naaah, I've done that, it didn't do me aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Torslanda]

Currently on hols in Northern France. We've brought our bikes with us but I should've put a bit more thought into it.

Today's purchases include a set of tyre levers and a track pump.
Oh! The shame!

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

[woollypigs]

Muhahahhahahaha, points and laugh even more. That is something to tell random grand children at family get-together for years to come ... sorry

[Torslanda]

Muhahahhahahaha, points and laugh even more. That is something to tell random grand children at family get-together for years to come ... sorry

[U-Boat Captain] 'Your name vill alzo go on Ze List... [/U-Boat Captain]

[woollypigs]

[ElyDave]

Muhahahhahahaha, points and laugh even more. That is something to tell random grand children at family get-together for years to come ... sorry

That's now got me thinking of the "invasion of the body snatchers" bit where the last one gets caught

[fuzzy]

Currently on hols in Northern France. We've brought our bikes with us but I should've put a bit more thought into it.

Today's purchases include a set of tyre levers and a track pump.
Oh! The shame!

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

Showing solidarity with your cross channel brethren by bolstering their economy?

[Dibdib]

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

On one of the early rides with the "club" (in the loosest sense of the term) I help run, one of the guys came out on a lovely old steel road bike. While was fine, until his crank fell off in the middle of nowhere and he didn't have the requisite spanners. Thankfully we found a nearby old-man-in-a-Defender, who was able to help.

Guess where he works... one of the nearby LBSes. 

[Peter]

Currently on hols in Northern France. We've brought our bikes with us but I should've put a bit more thought into it.

Today's purchases include a set of tyre levers and a track pump.
Oh! The shame!

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

You give us all hope, John!  (I was once 50 miles down the road on the way to a gig when I realise I'd left my guitar at home.....)

[Torslanda]

^^^ Made Oi LARF!!!!! ^^^

[Ruthie]

Fake tan.  Oh, feck, what possessed me?  Now I have to go to a wedding looking like a giraffe.  Great.

[Wowbagger]

Fake tan.  Oh, feck, what possessed me?  Now I have to go to a wedding looking like a giraffe.  Great.

POTD! Hug!

[TimC]

Fake tan.  Oh, feck, what possessed me?  Now I have to go to a wedding looking like a giraffe.  Great.

Tall, leggy, great eyelashes, very elegant? Can't see the snag, personally!

[Torslanda]

Fake tan.  Oh, feck, what possessed me?  Now I have to go to a wedding looking like a giraffe.  Great.

Tall, leggy, great eyelashes, very elegant? Can't see the snag, personally!

Oo! Don't forget the horns . . .

[Torslanda]

Guess we're not helping much!

[mrcharly-YHT]

I'm going out for a few drinks with a friend straight from work, so left my bag at home. Carefully transferred essentials (work entry card, wallet, phone, etc) to jacket. Get to work, go to take computer glasses out of  . . .

You fecking div, it's going to be a long day's work without reading/computer glasses.

[clarion]

Currently on hols in Northern France. We've brought our bikes with us but I should've put a bit more thought into it.

Today's purchases include a set of tyre levers and a track pump.
Oh! The shame!

What was it I said I did for a living . . . ?

You give us all hope, John!  (I was once 50 miles down the road on the way to a gig when I realise I'd left my guitar at home.....)

Would that some of the 'musicians' I have worked with had done the same...

[rogerzilla]

From a review of a steam cleaner on t'Internet:

Poor explanation of what this product does - it produces steam but where does the waste water end up? Does it have to emptied? Does it vacuum?

I assume the reviewer thinks steam is some kind of magical essence, rather like phlogiston, that is evaporated from water leaving a kind of debased waste water behind.  I wonder what they do with all the waste water the Flying Scotsman must generate?

[Cudzoziemiec]

That's easy: it's Scotch Mist!

[Ashaman42]

Don't some steam cleaners squirt steam out and then suck up the dirty condensate?

[Vince]

I sent the V5 document for my car to DVLA in a envelope that already contained an old photo of my son's confirmation.

I became aware of this when it was sent back with a DVLA complement slip!

[andrewc]

Shimano sandals without socks are great cycling wear.  Except when you push your fully loaded bike over your own toes.....