The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[clarion]

Related:  When mending crockery, stick the chip to the original item, not one's thumb.

[Jayjay]

Try not to kneel on the Araldite hardener tube. It takes quite a bit of getting out of one's jeans, and leaves one with an annoyingly useless tube of the adhesive.

[Kim]

Probably marginally preferable to epoxying your knee to the floor, thobut...

[SoreTween]

Top of yesterday's shopping list: loo rolls. I remember putting them in the trolley, I remember not putting them in the car.
Snowpocalypse 2 may make that a much regretted moment of div.

[T42]

Been putting off changing the gear cables on the wee MBK I use on the turbo because I detest re-taping handlebars. Anyway, I haven't got any new HB tape & it's not worth a trip into town or paying postage on just one item... excuses piled up.

It hit me last night: it's 3x9 Tiagra, Y2K vintage.  The gear cables don't go under the tape.

But it's damnably cold in the workshop...

[Beardy]

I dropped Dr Beardy (Mrs) off at work and went on to work myself. Got to the gatehouse and couldn’t find my pass card in any of my pockets, and I couldn’t remember picking it up this morning. So after a bit of muttering I decided I’d come home and work from there today.

I got home and realised that I’ve not got my laptop in my bag, so I’m going to have have to go into the office after all.  More muttering ensues. It’s only 4 miles to work though, so not a major issues. I then spend the next 15 minutes looking for my pass card (and the key to the draw my laptop lives in), emptying my bag and generally creating chaos. I can’t find it there. I go through my pockets again, nope I wasn’t being stupid, it’s not there. I have another look in my work bag, nope not there either. Some muttering about Dr Beardy (Mrs)'s tidying habits may have been involved

By this time I’m getting a bit hot under the collar, so I unzip my hood. Oh, look what’s hanging around my neck. 

I’m having a cup of tea before I go anywhere!

[ElyDave]

Guess who found their spare Garmin quarter-turn mount that they'd been looking for for a fortnight, two days after the replacement arrived 

[woollypigs]

Guess who found their spare Garmin quarter-turn mount that they'd been looking for for a fortnight, two days after the replacement arrived 

Can't be me cause I found my polarised filter about two hours after the replacement arrived ... doh!

[T42]

Yebbut now you have two you can use them crossed with various stuff in between.  If the stuff - e.g. mineral crystals etc. - is itself polarizing you get kewl effects.

Unless, of course, you have circular polarizers.  And they mostly are for digital. Hum...

[T42]

Going for a ride yesterday, found myself heading down the front steps with a bottle of milk in my hand instead of the bidon I left in the fridge a few days back.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Last minute dash to Cambridge yesterday by train to view rooms-to-let.

Forgot to check the routing. Nose in a book studying. Change at Peterborough, check. Zoom through Ely. Should be getting to Cambridge soon. Hang on, Bury, why is this train stopping at Bury.
Oh, sh!t, this is one of the ones where I needed to change at Ely.

Bloody idiot. Bloody expensive taxi from Bury to Cambridge (actually relatively cheap for the distance).

On the plus side, I found somewhere, and they liked me enough that they knocked £50 per month off the asking price for the rent. Must be my boyish charm or good looks. Or maybe they just felt sorry for me, like you do for a battered stray cat.

[TheLurker]

Good news MrC.  New job and decent digs. 

[essexian]

Puts hand up.... that would be me then.

On Sunday I went off to do the Cheshire Cat Sportive around the potholes of Crewe and East Cheshire promising to phone CBH at 11am to tell her how I was getting on and then at 1pm, my estimated finishing time. This I failed to do miserably as I left my mobile phone at home.  I received quite a stern telling off from her once I had found a working phone box.

Of course, having a brain the size of a planet, I wouldn't do that again now would I.....

Forward to yesterday....the car went in for its annual "lets remove some money from the sucker" test which resulted in me having to cycle into town during the end of the "rush hour" (No idea why they call it that as it took me 30 minutes to drive the same 2 mile route yesterday morning as I cycled in 8 minutes in the evening). Anyway, my passing words to CBH was: "the cars ready, so I would only be 30 minutes...."

I am getting there....honest. So, I turn up at the garage to find that the car is not ready despite them phoning me to say it was, meaning that I was hanging around in their waiting room for over 90 minutes    No issues....just phone CBH to say you will be late.

I will leave you to work out the rest. When I did get home, CBH was in floods of tears as she thought something nasty had happened to me.

So, for making my wife cry, I nominate myself as a "Fecking Div" and are now looking to have a mobile phone implanted somewhere where I can't lose it.

[Guy]

A mile into my cold, wet commute and I realised why I felt "wrong". I hadn't picked my bag up

[ian]

Completely sunburned my head making a snowwoman (I'm completely on top of diversity). In retrospect, some aspects of my sculpting might have looked suspect. I also made a snowcat.

Anyway, it all peeled off in a festival of unparalleledly flaky grossness.

[Mr Larrington]

That sounds UNtidy.  How can you dispense Leading Thoughts if your head is coming apart?

[ian]

That sounds UNtidy.  How can you dispense Leading Thoughts if your head is coming apart?

Indeed. Fortunately, I scrubbed all the peeling skin off in the bath last night and my head is tidy and ready to dispense leadership again.

[Pingu]

That sounds UNtidy.  How can you dispense Leading Thoughts if your head is coming apart?

Indeed. Fortunately, I scrubbed all the peeling skin off in the bath last night and my head is tidy and ready to dispense leadership again.

Like Rab C Nesbitt in Spain?

[essexian]

Got up at 2am this morning for one of my many nighttime visits to the loo and discovered the front door open....

So of course I turned on the security lights and had a look outside to ensure the garage was still locked and the car still there. I then wandered around the house to check that before going back to bed upon finding nothing wrong.

Two minutes later there was loud banging on the door and some rude words issuing forth from a female....well CBH.

It seems she had popped out to stop a cat fight and I had locked her out....

[mcshroom]

I cycled to church last night. Then immediately cycled home. Then cycled to church again, this time with my large messenger bag containing all the hymn sheets and the computer to play all the music for the mass.

At least I left enough time to go back for it (just).

[SteveC]

You'd think by now I'd be able to tell the time.
We are having tea an hour earlier than planned.
MrsC is not amused.

[Diver300]

I've just spent 10 minutes clearing a solder bridge between two adjacent pins on an integrated circuit before realising that they are connected together anyhow.

It could be that the writing of this previous post has slightly reduced my tendency to such divviness, by making me remember possible stupidity traps. I was about to start clearing a solder bridge today when I checked the layout and found that the two pins are connected, so I was able to leave well alone. 

[rower40]

I've just spent 10 minutes clearing a solder bridge between two adjacent pins on an integrated circuit before realising that they are connected together anyhow.

It could be that the writing of this previous post has slightly reduced my tendency to such divviness, by making me remember possible stupidity traps. I was about to start clearing a solder bridge today when I checked the layout and found that the two pins are connected, so I was able to leave well alone.

Learning from your own mistakes is great.  Learning from other people's is much more fun.
Seeing a thread on here, learning from it, then realising "I wrote that!" is somewhere in between...

[Torslanda]

I've just realised that in clearing my Mum's house we gave away my Dad's golf clubs. In itself not a problem as a set of 50-some year old irons & woods is no great loss.

But his Ping putter, one of the originals . . .

FUCK!

[Mr Larrington]

Cough inhaling wheeze bark peanuts cough is not cough recommended