Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread (Read 438797 times)

Torslanda · « **Reply #950 on:** 09 August, 2018, 05:29:01 pm »

Good thing it wasn't ham'n'eggs . . .

ElyDave · « **Reply #951 on:** 09 August, 2018, 09:48:47 pm »

The Cruzbike developed a reluctance to switch into the granny ring this week, just when I needed it to get up some 14% inclines (a bit of cable stretch I think), so I was trying to shift it manually. I thought I'd caught my glove in the chain, about 10km later when I got to Claonaig ferry port, stopped and took my glove off I realised I'd caught the tip of my finger in two places.

Still effin' sore three days later. I learnt to just push the derailleur instead of fiddling with the chain.

T42 · « **Reply #952 on:** 10 August, 2018, 08:04:03 am »

Not that I'm a glue-sniffer, but you know how superglue has a rather delicate aroma when you're putting it on workpieces? Yesterday I glued a spoke magnet into a hole in a bit of wood with the stuff then, curious to see if the smell continued pleasant during curing, had a sniff. It felt as if I had just inhaled cayenne pepper.

I suppose the key is in the name: cyanoacrylate. I pity the poor buggers who were deliberately killed with HCN.

hellymedic · « **Reply #953 on:** 10 August, 2018, 07:05:01 pm »

Made multiple attempts to arrange a routine blood test yesterday by phoning number on letter they sent me. Phone rang out every time.
Realised today I'd been dialling the fax number, d'oh.

I'm not the only div; if that fax had been on/working, the modem screech would have alerted me to my divvishness...

Ham · « **Reply #954 on:** 13 August, 2018, 08:50:12 am »

And for this morning's performance I managed to put the water into the coffee maker. Twice.

Chris S · « **Reply #955 on:** 13 August, 2018, 09:54:02 pm »

Arse. I got done for speeding. 57 in a 60 zone.

Yeah yeah, I know - but I was in my Vito, which apparently is a DPV (Dual Purpose Vehicle - I'd never heard of the term until now) and as such, has a max speed of -10mph on Single and Dual carriageways (not motorways - WTF?).

I had no idea of this - I assumed it was <7.5T and therefore same as a car. If it had been one of two recognised campers (VW California and something I've never heard of) which are exactly the same size and weight, that would be OK - they're the same as a car, apparently. What a load of bollocks.

But ignorance is no defence, and I'll take what's coming, I'm a Div and I should have known better it would seem.

Kim · « **Reply #956 on:** 13 August, 2018, 10:00:51 pm »

I'd never heard of a DPV either, but recently became aware (fortunately before I got caught speeding in one) of those speed limits for <3.5tonne vans.

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #957 on:** 13 August, 2018, 10:01:12 pm »

Blimey, that page on CDV and DPV is clear as mud...

Torslanda · « **Reply #958 on:** 13 August, 2018, 10:59:30 pm »

And it's exactly on the limit 'recommended' for enforcement of +10% & 2mph over.

That's wank. Pure revenue raising.

No. I've heard EVERY argument. Don't even bother.

Kim · « **Reply #959 on:** 13 August, 2018, 11:03:23 pm »

What *is* the logic behind having different speed limits for different classes anyway? I'd naively expect it to reflect the effect of mass on stopping distance etc. But if so, why does it matter within a weight class what your exact configuration of windows and seats might be?

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #960 on:** 14 August, 2018, 04:03:18 pm »

Presumably different vehicles behave in different ways even if they have similar stopping distance. For instance, it makes sense to distinguish between rigid vehicles and articulated or drawing trailers. I think I can also see some point in giving buses a higher limit than lorries, if only because shorter journey times = more passengers = fewer cars on the road. Similarly it would seem reckless to allow agricultural vehicles with the width of a barn and similar visibility (due to the cab being at barn roof level) to go as fast as a lorry, even if they have the same weight. But those are pretty obvious and if anyone doesn't know whether they're driving a lorry or a bus, they probably shouldn't be allowed out without supervision. Whereas the differences between car-derived van, dual-purpose van, light commercial vehicle, motor caravan and – I think there was another one? – are definitely not obvious and really don't seem pertinent.

Beardy · « **Reply #961 on:** 14 August, 2018, 04:13:40 pm »

I suppose a dual purpose van is likely to have a load space full of boxes and tools that are unlikely to be fastened down. All that loose mass is bound to affect the way a vehicle reacts in an emergency braking situation.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #962 on:** 14 August, 2018, 04:19:53 pm »

The same applies to many people's cars!

SteveC · « **Reply #963 on:** 14 August, 2018, 04:32:27 pm »

The different limits have been in force for years.
Our second car, circa 1965, was a Ford Thames van which had a lower speed limit than our previous car. I was told at the time this was because of the restricted visibility in the van.
It was irrelevant as neither vehicle could reach anything like 60 mph

Chris S · « **Reply #964 on:** 14 August, 2018, 04:35:45 pm »

Quote from: Torslanda on 13 August, 2018, 10:59:30 pm

And it's exactly on the limit 'recommended' for enforcement of +10% & 2mph over.

That's wank. Pure revenue raising.

Or just bad luck - which if it continues, probably means I won't get the choice of a Speed Awareness Course as I've already done one (years ago). I was doing 35 in a 30 zone that time - again, right on the borderline. Sigh...

Jakob W · « **Reply #965 on:** 14 August, 2018, 06:41:31 pm »

Wonder how that works technically? Does everything within 10 mph of the limit get run through ANPR?

(And I'd never heard of these limits either.)

citoyen · « **Reply #966 on:** 15 August, 2018, 09:53:31 am »

Quote from: Ham on 09 August, 2018, 08:21:54 am

Making 2 slices of toast on a Dualit toaster involves switching the number of slices to two.

You'd think I might have grasped that one after 16 years of Dualit toaster ownership.

You might also imagine that having been using the thing for so long, I never get caught out by someone having unplugged it.*

You'd think that, wouldn't you?

*For those not familiar with Dualit operation, it uses a clockwork timer and manual pop-up mechanism. Its robust simplicity is its strength (it's still going strong after 16 years) but also its weakness, as it is possible to operate it without power, which means it is possible to stand there for several minutes watching the timer wind down, only to be left with still cold bread at the end of it...

Beardy · « **Reply #967 on:** 15 August, 2018, 10:30:47 am »

Quote from: citoyen on 15 August, 2018, 09:53:31 am

Quote from: Ham on 09 August, 2018, 08:21:54 am
Making 2 slices of toast on a Dualit toaster involves switching the number of slices to two.

You'd think I might have grasped that one after 16 years of Dualit toaster ownership.

You might also imagine that having been using the thing for so long, I never get caught out by someone having unplugged it.*

You'd think that, wouldn't you?

*For those not familiar with Dualit operation, it uses a clockwork timer and manual pop-up mechanism. Its robust simplicity is its strength (it's still going strong after 16 years) but also its weakness, as it is possible to operate it without power, which means it is possible to stand there for several minutes watching the timer wind down, only to be left with still cold bread at the end of it...

It's also repairable, which is a good thing. The clockwork switch was a weak point in ours, but since I changed it there have been no toast related incidents caused by mechanical failure. User mis-operation though cannot be discounted.

Ham · « **Reply #968 on:** 15 August, 2018, 12:07:19 pm »

Quote from: citoyen on 15 August, 2018, 09:53:31 am

You'd think that, wouldn't you?

I don't think I'm allowed to.

(probably 19 years, here)

andytheflyer · « **Reply #969 on:** 19 August, 2018, 07:17:43 pm »

Just dropped my Dremel 800 cordless rotary tool. It went bang. Nasty electrical smell. Won't do anything other than a brief flash of an LED. I'm really piss*d because a month ago I gave it a new speed controller, at £40, and it responded, lovingly, by returning to full working order.

Needless to say, well obsolete. Fleabay has a used one, so may go for that as I already have a good Lion battery for it.

Feels like a bereavement. I use that tool nearly every day. It's always ready to go, it never lets me down, it's as faithful as an ageing labrador. And I let it down by dropping it. We've been together for many years, built and repaired many model aeroplanes, shortened over-long mudguard stays, drilled loads of small pilot holes in advance of the bigger tools doing their stuff.

Boo hoo..... I may have to have a stiff Port Charlotte malt.......

citoyen · « **Reply #970 on:** 20 August, 2018, 12:00:49 pm »

While doing some tidying up, I just found my race number and timing tag from last year's London CX league season. Thought I'd sent them both back months ago. Oops! Organiser says they've already forked out for replacements for unreturned numbers for this season...

lou boutin · « **Reply #971 on:** 20 August, 2018, 06:35:05 pm »

It's taken me three year to put two and two together and come up with four. Basically, if you can have tattoos removed, then you can have radiotherapy markers removed too! Yep, they are just 3 dots, No one sees them except me and MrLB (if he's lucky), it's just that they are a reminder of something that I don't want to be reminded of! Yay!

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #972 on:** 20 August, 2018, 08:02:14 pm »

Why wouldn't they just tell you that, rather than you having to work it out?

T42 · « **Reply #973 on:** 21 August, 2018, 08:17:39 am »

While putting my bottles on the bike for yesterday's toddle I realized that the bag containing my spare tubes & levers was not on the bike but was attached to my SQR frame, and that that had remained upstairs in the bedroom with my Audax Super C for the last two weeks.

Div + Order of the Jammy Sod for that one, I think.

tiermat · « **Reply #974 on:** 21 August, 2018, 08:26:03 am »

Quote from: Chris S on 14 August, 2018, 04:35:45 pm

Quote from: Torslanda on 13 August, 2018, 10:59:30 pm
And it's exactly on the limit 'recommended' for enforcement of +10% & 2mph over.

That's wank. Pure revenue raising.

Or just bad luck - which if it continues, probably means I won't get the choice of a Speed Awareness Course as I've already done one (years ago). I was doing 35 in a 30 zone that time - again, right on the borderline. Sigh...

If it was more than 3 years ago, you will be in with a shout.

DNAHIKT