The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[rafletcher]

Many moons ago where I worked had water boilers for the making of tea and coffee. Occasionally they went on the blink, and I had to resort to the vending machine. One such day I got a cup of milk - it wasn't uncommon for the vending machines to run out of one ingredient or other. So I went in search of coffee granules, and completed my beverage. Only to find that I have just put coffee into chicken soup.    It's 35 years ago and I still shudder at the taste!

[Torslanda]

I once put grapefruit juice in my coffee. OK, more than once. The result actually tastes worse than it sounds.

If Guy needs a"responsible adult" then I think you need 24/7 supervision...

[SteveC]

In the departmental common room at uni we had a coffee machine which started giving a random number of the ingredients needed to make what was ordered.
So your white coffee with sugar would come with some, but not all, of coffee, milk powder, sugar, hot water and a cup.

[Torslanda]

Fairly standard for any 'loose ingredients' vending machine IME...

[T42]

In the departmental common room at uni we had a coffee machine which started giving a random number of the ingredients needed to make what was ordered.
So your white coffee with sugar would come with some, but not all, of coffee, milk powder, sugar, hot water and a cup.

https://youtu.be/tWVPZHysyxc

[TheLurker]

In the departmental common room at uni we had a coffee machine which started giving a random number of the ingredients needed to make what was ordered.

Made by Sirius Cybernetics?

[Guy]

Many moons ago where I worked had water boilers for the making of tea and coffee. Occasionally they went on the blink, and I had to resort to the vending machine. One such day I got a cup of milk - it wasn't uncommon for the vending machines to run out of one ingredient or other. So I went in search of coffee granules, and completed my beverage. Only to find that I have just put coffee into chicken soup.    It's 35 years ago and I still shudder at the taste!

Reminds me of the machine we had back in my first job 30-odd years ago. It was brilliant. Choc Hotolate? Press the button and hey-presto! Steaming paper cup of choc hotolate appears. Same for tea/coffee with/without milk and sugar. Oxtail soup? Ah. Um. You'd get the soup but...

Do you know how disgusting oxtail soup with two sugars is?

They never did fix that fault.

[Morat]

Mrs M was taking Master M somewhere this morning by car. I needed to get something from the garage. So, I opened the garage door while the car was outside, idling. This caused the CO alarm in the garage (which houses the gas boiler) to beat against my hangover for the next 20 minutes

[fuzzy]

Would it be bad of me to laugh?

If it helps, my enjoyment would be short lived. My busted ribs are part of the 'Down With Mirth Coalition'.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Mrs M was taking Master M somewhere this morning by car. I needed to get something from the garage. So, I opened the garage door while the car was outside, idling. This caused the CO alarm in the garage (which houses the gas boiler) to beat against my hangover for the next 20 minutes

There's a lesson in there, and it's not about boilers or hangovers.

[hellymedic]

I have clicked on the wrong train time for my return from Stirling.

I will now have to change at Edinburgh when direct trains were available.

Sorry LWaB!

It's an Advance Purchase ticket so changing the ticket would be spendy.

I are a nidiot!

[T42]

IIRC Stirling-Edinburgh trains stop at every lamp-post.

[Kim]

Mrs M was taking Master M somewhere this morning by car. I needed to get something from the garage. So, I opened the garage door while the car was outside, idling. This caused the CO alarm in the garage (which houses the gas boiler) to beat against my hangover for the next 20 minutes

There's a lesson in there, and it's not about boilers or hangovers.

The charitable version is that you know the CO alarm still works.

[hellymedic]

IIRC Stirling-Edinburgh trains stop at every lamp-post.

Indeed they do! 7 intermediate stops twixt £ & Auld Reekie!

Consolation is that booked train arrives a whole 5 min before direct service and does have a cheaper ticket. Ho hum.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Mrs M was taking Master M somewhere this morning by car. I needed to get something from the garage. So, I opened the garage door while the car was outside, idling. This caused the CO alarm in the garage (which houses the gas boiler) to beat against my hangover for the next 20 minutes

There's a lesson in there, and it's not about boilers or hangovers.

The charitable version is that you know the CO alarm still works.

Hmm. That's a positive point, but the lesson I had in mind did not pertain particularly to Morat.

[T42]

Before yesterday's ride, I had a gander in Open Runner at the BadenBaden3.gpx file El Prez had sent me.  Then copied BadenBaden2.gpx into my eTrex.

[mcshroom]

So that would be why the mattress got caught up on my (ottoman) bed every time I lifted the mechanism! Those screw on loops are not handles, they're supposed to be screwed in the other side to stop the mattress moving 

[ian]

Stubbed my toe on a step while walking up the small flight of stairs to my remote command centre. Ordinarily a minor swear, but I was holding a very full cup of coffee in my hand at the time.

It's the only carpeted area on the entire ground floor. Good job, I'm adept at cleaning up spills. Though they usually come from inside a cat.

[T42]

So that would be why the mattress got caught up on my (ottoman) bed every time I lifted the mechanism! Those screw on loops are not handles, they're supposed to be screwed in the other side to stop the mattress moving 

It's amazing how often assembly/operating instructions will describe dead simple things in agonizing detail yet leave the not-obvious-at-all as an exercise for the student. Taking the back off my phone, for example, seemed to require force just short of breaking-point, but all the instructions said was "remove the back".

[Salvatore]

Before yesterday's ride, I had a gander in Open Runner at the BadenBaden3.gpx file El Prez had sent me.  Then copied BadenBaden2.gpx into my eTrex.

To avoid confusion he should have renamed it BadenBadenBaden3.gpx.

[SoreTween]

First thing Monday - set a new password at work.
Rest of the week, type the old password first every single time.

[Beardy]

I ordered some binary numbers for my wheelie bins. I got cross while trying to decide which font I wanted them in because the order form kept telling my I was below the minimum size for that font.

The numbers arrived this morning in an A4 card backed envelope.

I couldn’t find the numbers in the envelope so was cursing the supplier for efficiently getting it wrong. I then found the numbers sticky taped to the back of the invoice.

The 25mm numbers look cute on the wheelie bins, but lack the visual punch that the 25cm numbers I thought I’d ordered would have 

[lou boutin]

Having just been discharged from a 4 day stay in hospital due to a chest infection, asthma and suspected sepsis, I'm now really confused about what I should and shouldn't eat. To protect myself as best as I can from getting cancer again, I should have soy products, fresh fruit, veg, nuts and seeds. However my asthma information says I should keep away from these.  As a vegetarian of 35 years I'm scuppered, I don't seem to be able to eat anything.

[Torslanda]

Caveat: I have no allergies to anything I've eaten. I don't have asthma and have never been treated for cancer.

Go shopping. Buy some stuff to eat that you fancy.

[lou boutin]

Yep I'm of the same persuasion. The asthma was only bad because of the chest infection. Eating to support my immune system will help. Also protecting against free radicals puts my mind at rest. Eating to enhance cognitive function makes a big difference to my daily wellbeing.  So I'm going to carry on eating soy, nuts, seeds, fruit and veg (obviously with the odd slice of cake in there too.)