The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Pingu]

Looking in my crystal ball... It's 15 years in the future... Feanor has sold up and is living in his pied-a-terre... A new forummer called furryboottoon_cyclist has posted on the OT Knowledge board about the weird looking electrics in their new house...

[Kim]

It's standard practice to bring the supply in to the ceiling rose (both L and N on brn and blue), and then on out to the next fitting.
Then a single drop-cable down to the switch (perm L going down on brn, sw. L coming back up on blue, sleeved with brown.)
There is no N at the switch.

Which is a pretty strong argument for killing off this standard practice.  Neutral at the switch (and a nice deep backbox) is just sensible now that smart switches are a thing.  There's also a compelling argument for not having to do your electrical puzzles at the top of a ladder.

[Wombat]

I'm getting the impression that providing a neutral at the switch is becoming more common, for that very reason of catering for smart switches.  I soon will be fettling additional lighting in our dining room, but this will have a receiver mounted above the ceiling and a clever "look mum, no electrics" switch on the wall.  Therefore I'll just be filching the supply from the nearest fitting in the ceiling.  This has led me to investigate the positions of the "central" ceiling lights in several rooms in our house.  Why are most of them in bloody silly locations, way off centre?

[Kim]

This has led me to investigate the positions of the "central" ceiling lights in several rooms in our house.  Why are most of them in bloody silly locations, way off centre?

In the 1930s, it was considered bad practice to risk projecting a silhouette of a woman dressing/undressing onto the curtains by mounting the ceiling light centrally.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Popped up on the upright trike  to Stonehaugh in Geordieshire  for a little reconnaissance . On the way to Wark the rear offside tyre goes flat . Big hole in the side wall . No problem I will get The spare emergency tyre out the  carradice tardis bag . But some numpty has left the tyre on the bench at home , when the idiot reorganised their bag . 
Blooming heck my shoulders are knackered after riding over 20 odd kilometres  balanced on two wheels .   

That's not only a "fecking div" story, it's a "look what I carried on my bike" post – carrying a trike on a bike!

[Cudzoziemiec]

My first clipless moment - T-Junction, white van, topple to the left into a verge full of nettles.  I was glad to be of some amusement to the hard working labourers of Cambs

I had my first such about 15 years before clipless pedals were even invented! I was about 3 and fell off my "big blue trike" into a patch of nettles that were taller than me.

[T42]

Went for a stroll through the fields to the next village this morning and forgot to change out of my yellow T-shirt first.  Spent most of the walk brushing flies off it. Shook out a good few once home.  MrsT hadn't a one.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Don't want to switch wires without having some sleeving. That will end badly.

New divvery.
I'm in the office this week, which entails a long journey (plane, tram, train, train).

Halfway down, sat on the train, I wonder "where is my office badge?"

At home. First time in the office for 12months and I left it at home (I suspect either the cat nicked it out of my bag, or I put it in the new bag).

[canny colin]

Popped up on the upright trike  to Stonehaugh in Geordieshire  for a little reconnaissance . On the way to Wark the rear offside tyre goes flat . Big hole in the side wall . No problem I will get The spare emergency tyre out the  carradice tardis bag . But some numpty has left the tyre on the bench at home , when the idiot reorganised their bag . 
Blooming heck my shoulders are knackered after riding over 20 odd kilometres  balanced on two wheels .   

That's not only a "fecking div" story, it's a "look what I carried on my bike" post – carrying a trike on a bike!

       I think you have the wrong end of the stick no bikes were involved . Once I had travelled 3or 4 meters ,l got the offside puncture d  Wheel in the air. Then travelled back on the single driven rear wheel and front wheel .Balanced on two wheels of the trike . It's pushing on one side of the handle bars whilst pulling on the other that ,knacks your shoulders

[Mr Larrington]

No, you useless cretinous moron, the reason iThings is not adding the contents of that folder to the library is not because it is b0rked, nor because the disk they both live on is b0rked.  It is because you neglected to convert the files therein from .flac to .mp3

[Feanor]

Looking in my crystal ball... It's 15 years in the future... Feanor has sold up and is living in his pied-a-terre... A new forummer called furryboottoon_cyclist has posted on the OT Knowledge board about the weird looking electrics in their new house...

The old-colour 3+E would be the least of it...

The place is flood-filled with Cat6 and CT100, which terminate in a network cabinet and at the TV distribution head-end board, which contains a bloody great multiswitch!

[Kim]

15 years in the future and people will be regarding distascopic CT100 installations with the same sort of quaint nostalgia that we reserve for 10-base-2 Ethernet...

Unless the Brexit holds, and we have wide-ranging BRITISH electrical RULEZ mandating everything from waterlogged brown coax and Belling-Lee connectors (standard-definition video, for the distribution of) through looks-like-mini-USB-B-but-isn't^[1] (fondleslabs, for the charging of), centre-negative DC barrel jacks in a range of fucking sizes (all other electronics, for the powering of), and 25-pin D connectors for general data communication (the one area where gender diversity is still tolerated).  Mains wiring will be restored to the much prettier pre-harmonisation colours, with VIR insulation and wire fuses in Bakelite holders.  WiFi will be permitted, in the longwave band.

The Brexit bonus will of course be the thorough and complete banning of SCART.


_{[1] Ie. the one that came with your circa 2004 digital camera, and has been haunting your cables box ever since.}

[Mr Larrington]

I've got one o' they cables with my 2009 camera.  It's almost, but not quite, exactly the same as the ones Garmin used on similar vintage TwatNavs (which is also not mini USB-B).  Fortunately the new Garmin uses USB-C.  And at least the Olympus and Garmin cables were different colours.

15 years in the future all the BRITONS' cables will be red and white like old-skool barbers' poles, because the Scots will have declared UDI, Ireland will be united and run from Dublin and the Welsh will be ignored.  As usual.

[Mr Larrington]

And first story in the daily digest from El Reg was this:

EU to make USB-C common charging port for most electronic devices.  wErE bEtEr OfF oUt Of It ImAjIN bEeN tOlD wHaT cOnEcToRs 2 uSe By A fAt BeLjUn BuRoCaRt!!!!!2!

Also it'll upset the FruitCo fanboiz

[ian]

My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.

[Beardy]

My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.

indeed, only the phones now require lightening connectors, which is a bit of pain. Although I did note on the WWDC yesterday that the new MacBooks come with an Apple mag release power connector.

ETA:having read the report in el reg, I note that had they enforced the rule 10 years ago as they’d wanted, we’d be stuck with microUSB as the standard, which is shit. USB C is at least a reasonable connector, although this does mean that we will be stuck with it for quite a while.

I wonder if Apple will just do away with the port and go fully wireless charging.

[Cudzoziemiec]

15 years in the future all the BRITONS' cables will be red and white like old-skool barbers' poles, because the Scots will have declared UDI, Ireland will be united and run from Dublin and the Welsh will be ignored.  As usual.

Does this mean there will be a small band of Welsh nationalists running* round stamping little red dragons on all the cables? Not that they will have any electricity in Wales, because of all the leeks.**

*Nationalists never walk. It's a long-standing principle. Or a time distortion or something.
**Apology last seen running for the hills.

[Tim Hall]

15 years in the future and people will be regarding distascopic CT100 installations with the same sort of quaint nostalgia that we reserve for 10-base-2 Ethernet...

Unless the Brexit holds, and we have wide-ranging BRITISH electrical RULEZ mandating everything from waterlogged brown coax and Belling-Lee connectors (video, for the distribution of) through looks-like-mini-USB-B-but-isn't^[1] (fondleslabs, for the charging of), centre-negative DC barrel jacks in a range of fucking sizes (all other electronics, for the powering of), and 25-pin D connectors for general data communication (the one area where gender diversity is still tolerated).  Mains wiring will be restored to the much prettier pre-harmonisation colours, with VIR insulation and wire fuses in Bakelite holders.  WiFi will be permitted, in the longwave band.

The Brexit bonus will of course be the thorough and complete banning of SCART.


_{[1] Ie. the one that came with your circa 2004 digital camera, and has been haunting your cables box ever since.}

I read the majority of that inna opening credits of Trainspotting stylee. 

[Canardly]

I have managed somehow to lose the inflation side inner valve flap on my Synmat UL. (Lord knows how) The mat therefore deflates as soon as I disconnect the Snozzle. It is usable just.  No apparent spares to be had in UK, so emailing Exped. Nil desperandum and all that. Pedal Castro highly recommends the Alpkit Cloud Base but of course they do not have any in stock atm.   

[Mrs Pingu]

Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall. 

[Diver300]

Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall. 

Please tell me the make and model of the vacuum cleaner. I could do with one with that much suction power.

[Mr Larrington]

My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.

Mine is Lightning and it’s only about three months old

[Socks]

My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.

Mine is Lightning and it’s only about three months old

Probably just a flash in the pan.

[Mrs Pingu]

Somehow, while hoovering, I managed to rip a double electric socket out of the wall. 

Please tell me the make and model of the vacuum cleaner. I could do with one with that much suction power.

It's a Brexit bastard Dy3on. Actually it's quite a good hoover but I won't buy another on principle. (I think I managed to catch the cable in the wheel arch and yank it).

[ian]

My iPad only takes the finest USB-C plug up its rear.

Mine is Lightning and it’s only about three months old

I think it's the iPad Air and Pros that have a USB-C or thunderbolt (in the latter).