What's to dislike about Audaxes.

[Manotea]

But I'll tell you what - if you can ride 600 km on a hilly course and be able to squat over a toilet without touching the seat at the end, come and tell me about it.

Hedges have seats 

No, they have thistles...

[LiamFitz]

I seem to recall on the last PBP that one audaxer of this parish admitted to using a water fountain at one of the controls in the mistaken belief it was a French pissoir....

[teethgrinder]

But I'll tell you what - if you can ride 600 km on a hilly course and be able to squat over a toilet without touching the seat at the end, come and tell me about it.

Hedges have seats 

No, they have thistles...

This reminds me of why Maureen Cheyney DNF'd the 1991 PBP. She needed a pee out in the countryside, so she dropped her shorts and squatted down to do the deed.
Unbeknown to her, there was something lurking in the grass. An adder came up and bit her on the bum.

[Nuncio]

I seem to recall on the last PBP that one audaxer of this parish admitted to using a water fountain at one of the controls in the mistaken belief it was a French pissoir....

The opposite of this then.

[Exit Stage Left]

I seem to recall on the last PBP that one audaxer of this parish admitted to using a water fountain at one of the controls in the mistaken belief it was a French pissoir....

One man's water fountain......
    YouTube
        - Fountain Carhaix
  

Although quite why you'd dribble water down both sides of a stainless steel sheet into a trough if it wasn't a urinal.....

[Bendy Bianchi]

or better, do the etape or something like that where the girls squat alongside the guys peeing in the hedge

You should all go to a Motor race event where there are portaloos stood in a field. Boys and girls together.