Author Topic: Tour de France 2018  (Read 133825 times)

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
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    • the Igloo
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #225 on: 10 July, 2018, 08:47:39 am »
At what point would T $ky drop Froome as their GC contender and back Thomas instead?

Depends if Froome runs out of puff.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #226 on: 10 July, 2018, 10:09:03 am »
Puff - ain't that what inhalers do? ;D

IGMC (it's raining out)
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
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Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #227 on: 10 July, 2018, 01:32:13 pm »
M Rogers, who is this Jakob Fu-Slang of whom you speak?
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #228 on: 10 July, 2018, 01:54:25 pm »
A racing snake?  (perhaps you need to speak Afrikaans, for that, but Queensland is the new Afrikaanerstan, I think)

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #229 on: 10 July, 2018, 05:32:19 pm »
The Boy informs me that the ref camera helicopter has it's own Twitter account. https://www.twitter.com/HelicopteroTour
Sample output
Quote
TOCOTOCOTOCOTOCOTOCOTOCOTOCOTOCOTOCOTOCO
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #230 on: 10 July, 2018, 05:46:40 pm »
Stage 4: La Baule > Sarzeau

G Imlach:O hai, TV's G Imlach ect ect & after teh frantic xitement ov teh team tiem-trail we retun 2da 2 teh mind-numbing tedium ov teh roa... wait, WHAT? Who wrote this rubbish?
EC Boardman:A hahahaha! A ha ha ha! And, moreover, ha!
G Imlach:Go! Away! TV's Niec C Boardman: summarise!
NC Boardman:Win GV Avermaet P Gilbert TD Windmill lose D Martin I Montoya N Quintana sumwhere in teh middle R Bardet C Froome R Porte A Yates.
Bethany [8]:wot about mi Da… R Urán?
TJV Garderen:Oi! Here I am, branez teh size ov a planet and u gits ignore me agane!
G Imlach & NC Boardman :
Bethany [8]:u hold 'em, TJV Garderen, an' ill kick 'em in teh nutz!
G Imlach:Yoicks! TV's Wooden D Friebe, interview TD Windmill or die trying!
TD Windmill:Long way 2 go... taek it as it comes... anything can happen...
Omnes::facepalm:
5:[Faints]
N Boulting:O hai! TV's *** ect ect! Football beach wind!
SD Millar:O hai! TV's Super D ect ect! No wind template stage cookie cutter!
N Boulting:C Prudhomme has not yet started teh stage so here iz sum history! Dead bloke!
SD Millar:Vortex!
N Boulting:Shipbuilding!
SD Millar:(Improvising desperately) R Wyatt! E Costello!
Omnes::facepalm:
N Boulting:Salt, salt! Poney!
5:Sidesaddle 2! I think mai mummy does that!
Bethany's Mum:An' thass not all she duz from wot I 'eard!
5's Mummy:Aim sure Ai don't know don't know what u mean!
N Boulting:Cofidis! Punished 4 rubbish team tiem-trail?
SD Millar:Cofidis very rubbish! Futile break TV tiem!
T Pelican:Oi! C Prudhomme! Get! On! With! It!
C Prudhomme:Waiting 4 M Burghardt. He fell off. During teh rollout! Roffle!
T Pelican:LOL @ M Burghardt!
M Burghardt:Wnkrs!
C Prudhomme:Get out ov mi site, u useless basket cases!
C Vasseur:T Cofidis! Get out ov mi site, u useless basket cases!
T Cofidis:Who, us?
C Vasseur:Yes, u!
T Cofidis:Piss!
N Bouhanni (via smoke signal):U should ov picked me! I'd have won every stage! Including teh team tiem-trail! AND punched J Degenkolb!
A Demare:Roffle! Luser!
N Boulting:France Belgium break football! Lunch M Smith M Rogers. He's Australian u kno!
[...]
Omnes:M Smith, sa after me: I must learn teh difference between "Calvary" and "Cavalry"!
[...]
M Rogers:... and as I got older I went slower but longer!
Omnes:Fnarr and, moreover, fnarr!
Bethany's Mum:Hell-oooooo, big boy!
[...]
M Smith & M Rogers:SD Brailsford You-See-Eye small town mayor parochial tea-wee* C Froome!
[...]
Omnes:
[...]
N Boulting:We're baaaaaack! Did u miss us?
Omnes:
A Greipel:Teh break iz getting above itself! TD Gendt! Discipline those miscreants!
Omnes:[Waking up] MUNKEH!1!
TD Gendt:Yeth, mathter!
[Grams: WHOOOOSH!!1!]
SD Millar:TD Gendt: speed ov teh race-horse, strength ov teh cart-horse, branez ov teh rocking-horse!
N Boulting:Will teh pelican contest teh intermediate sprint sprint sprintEEEE, Super D?
SD Millar:Yes. No. Maybe. Dunno.
N Boulting:Thank u, Super D! [Aside] Idiot!
[...]
Bethany [8]:skools out wots hapnin?
Omnes:Futile break, tractors, dancing paysans, TD Gendt being a headbanger. Uzhul stuffs.
N Boulting:Tiem 4 teh daily dose ov doubleplusgood antidote 2 Newspeak, M Rendall!
M Rendall:Aujourd'tag nos spikim ub La crown green Baulypela brrrm vroom W Williams Monaco Gestapo utterly 2 DETH! Gron racy Bugatti In-ger-lund ichiban!
Omnes:U lie, M Rendall! Any fule kno green was given 2 teh BRITON Charles Jarrott 4 teh 1900 Trophée Gordon Bennett 2 offset his race number 13#!
N Boulting:Did u taek notice ov teh multifaceted wonderfulness ov teh France – le history, la géography, les châteaux, l'architecture, Baudelaire, Proust, Debussy, Eiffel, Vauban, Johnny Hallyday, la mer wot iz wet, teh mice who eat cheez and teh grilz who r priti – as teh rider, Super D?
SD Millar:No.
N Boulting:Sometiems I h8 this job...
[...]
N Boulting:Crash! Soz, no, I am seeing thingz!
Omnes:Starting ur birthday celebrations early, ***?
[Cut 2 shot of T AS-TA-NA mob-handed inna ditch]
N Boulting:Ha!
T Gallopin:Noes! Doored by mi own team car!
Omnes:LOL @ T Gallopin!
T Gallopin:It's not funny!
Omnes:Oh! Yes! It! Is!
SD Millar:Teh pelican iz teh very big powerful cat+!
M Kitteh:I think u already kno mi op!on on this matter, Super D! Also, miaow!
[...]
SD Millar:Break! Not so futile?
N Boulting:Yes. No. Maybe. Dunno.
SD Millar:Thank u, ***! [Aside] Idiot!
[...]
TQ Step:I say, would u crook-backed ruffians mind awfully sharing sum ov teh work?
T Pelican:
[...]
N Boulting:N Terpstra! He's fab! He's amazing! He's awsum! He's W Shaekespeare J Hendrix EO Aquitaine & BJ Bond all rolled in2 1! He's... going backwards. Oh!
SD Millar:Crash! Pelican in pieces! R Urán off teh back!
Bethany [8]:NOES!!1!
T Pelican:O hai, futile break!
CP Sagan:Winnage! Crazy!
A Greipel:Winnage?
Omnes:MUNKEH!1!
F Gardenia:Ha! Lusers!
M Kitteh:MIAOW!!1!
Bethany [8]:So did mi Da... R Urán get back on^?
N Boulting & SD Millar:Who?
Bethany [8]:Mi revenge will b medieval in its severity, u utter tw@ts!

* M Smith's actual pronunciation of "TUE".
# Trufax.
+ Yes, he really did say this. For the second year running.
^ Yes. Yes, he did.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Mrs Pingu

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Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #232 on: 10 July, 2018, 08:11:47 pm »
Quite an exciting stage today with a near cock-up in catching the break.

It's all about Gaviria now. It's funny how the days of sprints being dominated by the really big guys on the end of long trains have disappeared.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #233 on: 11 July, 2018, 08:39:14 am »
Quite an exciting stage today with a near cock-up in catching the break.

And how I wish they had cocked it up a bit further. If there was one break that deserved to make it, it was that one.

Quote
It's all about Gaviria now. It's funny how the days of sprints being dominated by the really big guys on the end of long trains have disappeared.

More power to his elbow.

Folk go on about Froome & Sky crushing the competition but Saggers is getting up my nose the same way. It's nice to see him getting pipped.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #234 on: 11 July, 2018, 08:56:53 am »
Yes, but look what was the first thing he did after crossing the line...

That is the mark of a champion.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #235 on: 11 July, 2018, 09:43:40 am »
Agreed.

I really thought Sagan had it until the result was formally announced.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

mattc

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Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #236 on: 11 July, 2018, 11:11:12 am »
What's with Sagan's choice of jersey? I could understand him preferring his World Champion's jersey to the green one ...

... but then he switched back to Green. Anyone want to predict his choices over the 3 weeks?? Is there some logic behind all this?
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Nick H.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #237 on: 11 July, 2018, 11:48:34 am »
Yes, but look what was the first thing he did after crossing the line...

That is the mark of a champion.
He ate some Haribos.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #238 on: 11 July, 2018, 11:50:06 am »
What's with Sagan's choice of jersey? I could understand him preferring his World Champion's jersey to the green one ...

... but then he switched back to Green. Anyone want to predict his choices over the 3 weeks?? Is there some logic behind all this?

After Stage 1: Gaviria won the stage so was leading on both GC and points, so he wore the yellow for stage 2 while green deferred to next place. As world champion, Sagan was allowed to wear his rainbow stripes instead, so green deferred to third place, ie Kittel, who opted for a rather natty green skinsuit.

After Stage 2: Sagan won the stage and took the overall lead in both GC and points, so was in yellow for stage 3, with green deferring to Gaviria in second place.

After Stage 3: with BMC winning the TTT, GVA took the overall lead to wear yellow, but Sagan is still leading the points classification so is now obliged to wear the green jersey.

After stage 4: Sagan is still in green, and likely to be so for the foreseeable future.

As *** observed, it's a long time since Sagan took part in a race wearing his regular team kit.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #239 on: 11 July, 2018, 12:08:34 pm »
It's not something I lose sleep over, but I don't like the whole deferrment of jerseys thing. I wouldn't want to wear green simply because the real green jersey holder is also in yellow. Didn't they used to do a mixed jersey colour thing years ago? That works better IMO....
Those wonderful norks are never far from my thoughts, oh yeah!

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #240 on: 11 July, 2018, 12:17:05 pm »
France is absolutely revelling in the sheer Frenchness of being French today!

Yes, TV's *** Boulting really DID say that :facepalm:
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #241 on: 11 July, 2018, 12:46:25 pm »
Boulting - whoever he is - sounds like a right twat. I'm glad we just have Jalabert and A.N. Other in the studio, with le Petit Thomas on the motorbike up front and another bod called Thierry or Nicolas or summat at the back.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Nick H.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #242 on: 11 July, 2018, 12:56:15 pm »
At least we have Millar on ITV. And today we have Mick Rogers

Samuel D

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #243 on: 11 July, 2018, 12:58:32 pm »
Don’t forget Marion Rousse!

Jalabert is easy to listen to except for his bias against Sky … but that applies to many French commentators.

Nick H.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #244 on: 11 July, 2018, 01:01:17 pm »
Rogers is saying interesting things right now..you can listen to him for free at https://www.itv.com/hub/itv4

Samuel D

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #245 on: 11 July, 2018, 01:02:22 pm »
Site requires registration. I’m not about to sign up only to be told I’m in the wrong country.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #246 on: 11 July, 2018, 01:03:02 pm »
Don’t forget Marion Rousse!

Right enough

Quote
Jalabert is easy to listen to except for his bias against Sky … but that applies to many French commentators.

Hadn't noticed anything unreasonable.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #247 on: 11 July, 2018, 01:06:51 pm »
Boulting - whoever he is - sounds like a right twat. I'm glad we just have Jalabert and A.N. Other in the studio, with le Petit Thomas on the motorbike up front and another bod called Thierry or Nicolas or summat at the back.

It is his birthday today, though.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Nick H.

Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #248 on: 11 July, 2018, 01:07:19 pm »
Site requires registration. I’m not about to sign up only to be told I’m in the wrong country.
All they want is an email address. They've never spammed me.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Tour de France 2018
« Reply #249 on: 11 July, 2018, 01:15:00 pm »
Boulting - whoever he is - sounds like a right twat. I'm glad we just have Jalabert and A.N. Other in the studio, with le Petit Thomas on the motorbike up front and another bod called Thierry or Nicolas or summat at the back.

I like Ned. When he first started, he was completely clueless about cycling, but after a good ten years in the job, he is... marginally less clueless now. He's good for ITV because a large chunk of its audience will be people who don't follow pro cycling outside the Tour, so he will often ask the idiotic questions they want to ask - such as why doesn't Sagan/Cav ever win the yellow jersey?

I started following pro cycling on Channel 4 in the 80s when Gary Imlach was just as clueless as Ned. But he's been doing it so long now that he's acquired enough knowledge to pass for someone who knows what they're talking about.

I learnt most of what I know about pro cycling from Liggett and Sherwen's commentary, which explains why I'm still clueless.


"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."