skool dinnerz

[ian]

There was something deeply hilarious, I'm sure, about a class of 80s East Midlands white boys who thought they could breakdance and body-pop, having learned it all from a segment on John Craven's Newsround. We were in the da Bronx. Well, Coro Park anyway.

The school had to hush up the Darren W. incident on the grounds the window didn't actually break, the glass pane fell out whole.

Mad Bill's actual name was Michael. No idea. I'd like to say he was dangerous, but it was mostly to himself. He once fired a catapult directly into his own face.

[Efrogwr]

Mad Bill's actual name was Michael. No idea. I'd like to say he was dangerous, but it was mostly to himself. He once fired a catapult directly into his own face.

How? Did he draw it back to front, or did he let go of the wrong end?

[ian]

He basically put a large ball bearing in it, held it in front of his face and stretched the elastic back and fired it at point-blank range into that face. Earned himself two black eyes and a golf ball-sized lump on his forehead.

Don't ask me why, he was called Mad Bill for a reason. This was a kid who shot himself twice with his own crossbow and not accidentally. He took self-harm to a whole new level. No one argued, it was better he was harming himself than us.

[Efrogwr]

He basically put a large ball bearing in it, held it in front of his face and stretched the elastic back and fired it at point-blank range into that face. Earned himself two black eyes and a golf ball-sized lump on his forehead.

Don't ask me why, he was called Mad Bill for a reason. This was a kid who shot himself twice with his own crossbow and not accidentally. He took self-harm to a whole new level. No one argued, it was better he was harming himself than us.

That's worse than I guessed. I assumed carelessness or clumsyness.

[caerau]

There was something deeply hilarious, I'm sure, about a class of 80s East Midlands white boys who thought they could breakdance and body-pop, having learned it all from a segment on John Craven's Newsround. We were in the da Bronx. Well, Coro Park anyway.

Well in my School's case we had a community of far more genuine contenders for the street-dance  leading the way.  Though some of us honkies got dragged into the slipstream also     I do recall that my older brother and his mates used to laugh at us 'break dancing 3rd years'     Seems it was narrowly focussed on just a couple of years of school kids back in 1984ish.

Now if you think you were not quite street enough - I was astonished to find out a few years back that we had a PhD student in our research group who was leading a 'dance class' of mostly female students in break-dance at lunchtimes.  I wonder if the street-gangs of New-York at the time who pioneered this stuff ever thought that this craze could end up with middle-class ladies at university doing it as a dance class during playtime

[ian]

I'm sure that there was a moral panic at the time that it would destroy your joints or somesuch and all your limbs would fall off. Don't do it Kevin, your arms, YOUR ARMS!

I think we all thought we had a few good moves. Seeing the actual thing in Corona Park one summer a decade removed, we really, really, really didn't have any moves. Maybe 'white people can't dance' is a mere racist stereotype, but in my experience, they can't and should only attempt to do so under controlled conditions and preferably somewhere dark and secluded.

And to be honest, basing our entire knowledge of US black street culture on John Craven's Newsround was possibly not the best plan. But given it was the East Midlands in the 1980s, we'd only ever seen black people on TV. They had them down Nottingham, of course. They had all sorts down Nottingham, they did.

My grandad once helpfully advised for no reason at all that if I wanted a 'proper fight' I should get myself on a bus down Nottingham. I was thirteen, speccy, and not at all in need of any kind of fight. But thanks, granddad. He also advised me on the eve of my departure to university to 'watch out for Arabs.' I was going to Liverpool not Damascus.

[caerau]

I'm sure that there was a moral panic at the time that it would destroy your joints or somesuch and all your limbs would fall off. Don't do it Kevin, your arms, YOUR ARMS!

As I recall there was vocal concern over twisted testicles from the 'windmill move' and the neck from attempted headspins. 


Maybe the former thing is why it's now apparently more popular amongst ladies.

[ian]

It was banned at my school, understandably after the Darren W incident (though banning Darren would have been a better long term plan, he was part boy, part monkey, and the latter was the far bigger part).

That said, keeping track of whatever the school might be banned because it had been in the news at any given point in time was a considerable demand on our young minds.

[caerau]

I remember they banned screwdrivers in pockets at my school along with shoes with VW and Mercedes badges tied into the shoelaces.  That was hip-hop thing too.

[Jaded]

They banned running on the gravel at my school.

[T42]

Crikey, you lot lived in a police state.  I wore a sheath-knife to school for a couple of years and nobody batted an eyelid.

[ian]

They banned the entire activity of running at my junior school. It was the only time I got the cane, for the crime of running.

A grave injustice too, I wasn't running, I was just standing there when some other kids ran past but I was collected up in the sweep and summarily punished. There was no court of appeal.

After that headmaster retired, we got the Jesus one. I think they'd banned caning at the point, but he was a firm believer in something infinitely worse and involved an acoustic guitar. Just hit me, sir.

[Hot Flatus]

They banned running on the gravel at my school.

They wanted you unblemished.

[Redlight]

At my school, the girls were banned from wearing shiny leather shoes for fear that the reflections would excite the boys 

[ian]

Presumably, the danger was seeing up their skirts. That would require very shiny shoes and some stationary persistence.

Probably easier to borrow a copy of Knave, the classiest of the playground-traded gentlemen's magazines.

[Pingu]

Snowballing was banned at my school. It was pronounced something like 'snibbling' over the tannoy by the rector. Yes, we had a rector not a headmaster.

[Kim]

I remember they banned screwdrivers in pockets at my school

I sustained a nasty injury from a screwdriver in a pocket once.  Could have been a lot nastier.


My primary school famously banned footballs.  The boys immediately invented the sport of foot-netball.  The rule quietly evaporated soon after.

[caerau]

Yeah they banned bulldog in mine, so we played a game that involved running across the playground whilst rugby tackling people while the dinner-ladies weren't watching - that was nothing like Bulldog at all, oh no.

[Mr Larrington]

at leest  after janry 31rd ,,, well  be aloud too  call it BRITTISH buldog agen,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BLOODY EU!!!!!2!!eleven! ~ J Random Quitler, yesterday

[T42]

Churchy.  Half a doz blokes forming a chain, the one in front bent over and braced against a wall, the others bent over in a line behind him, each braced against the one in front. Then the first bloke on the other team would yell "churchy number one over", take a run-up and leap as far forward  as he could over the line of backs, landing as brutally as possible and staying there.  Thereafter the other team members would follow one by one, assuming the whole shebang didn't collapse half-way, which of course was the aim.

That was banned, of course. Lining the blokes up like that must have reminded the staff a bit too much of church.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Breakdancing:
"How was school today?"
"In French I did the exercise Miss set, then the one she set for after that and then the extra one as well. So then I just sat there and played Electric Boogaloo 2 in my head."
"Electric Boogaloo?"
So we've just explored a line leading back from breakdancing through Electric Boogaloo (which I think was a name he just plucked from the air) via Grease back to West Side Story. And if we wanted, we could have traced it back to ballet. But not morris dancing!

[ian]

We played 'up and down' which went up and down the playground and 'red rover' which went across (allowing for two simultaneous games). Sometimes both would merge, so you had kids playing 'up-and-down' and other kids playing 'red rover' leading to a sort of playground Brownian motion, bloodied children ricocheting everywhere.

I don't recall often playing 'British bulldog' though to be honest in all the games, the rules where essentially mutable and engendered the same sort of demand for band-aids and occasional visits to the school nurse (a firm believer in broken bones being left to straighten themselves out).

[caerau]

We didn't call it 'British' at our place, it was just bulldog.  Again, this is a very very hazy memory as it's far too long ago - but I seem to recall it being the same thing as red rover...?

[nicknack]

Snowballing was banned at my school. It was pronounced something like 'snibbling' over the tannoy by the rector. Yes, we had a rector not a headmaster.

They did that at my junior school too. Throwing a snowball at a tree led to my only caning.