ACME Miscellany

[tedshred]

]Can the disciplinary meeting be held on Wednesday 17th Oct when I'm not in the country to be able to attend?[/color]

That's a very generous offer to fly HR out to you at your cost.  Where would Sick Note have to travel ?

[Jem]

]Can the disciplinary meeting be held on Wednesday 17th Oct when I'm not in the country to be able to attend?[/color]

That's a very generous offer to fly HR out to you at your cost.  Where would Sick Note have to travel ?

A destination providing sunshine, Belgian beers (Trappist preferably) and/or Meerlust Rubicon may be considered a mitigating circumstance. The provision of all three could see a promotion to a management position (line manager to the BB) - Master of Wine and Beer.


S. Note
ACME HR dept.

PS: Note to all EGM members.
Please note that your leave form must be submitted to the committee and approved before any absence. Failure to do so will result in your being declared AWOL, the sentence for which is a weekend with OD and his (at present fantasy) Karaoke machine belting out hymns, choral chants, Ag pleeze Deddy (ask Oaky), Carols and Nellie the Elephant.

[huggy]

Should anyone be interested, THIS has just gone live on AUKweb.  Don't all rush immediately though, still need to received the important sheets of card to sell, hopefully not too long...

The Essex R&R 200k Perm is fully open for business 

[Oscar's dad]

]Can the disciplinary meeting be held on Wednesday 17th Oct when I'm not in the country to be able to attend?[/color]

That's a very generous offer to fly HR out to you at your cost.  Where would Sick Note have to travel ?

A destination providing sunshine, Belgian beers (Trappist preferably) and/or Meerlust Rubicon may be considered a mitigating circumstance. The provision of all three could see a promotion to a management position (line manager to the BB) - Master of Wine and Beer.


S. Note
ACME HR dept.

PS: Note to all EGM members.
Please note that your leave form must be submitted to the committee and approved before any absence. Failure to do so will result in your being declared AWOL, the sentence for which is a weekend with OD and his (at present fantasy) Karaoke machine belting out hymns, choral chants, Ag pleeze Deddy (ask Oaky), Carols and Nellie the Elephant.

I think what this whole sorry episode illustrates is that our huggy so far less easily led than he used to be.  Sad really 

[huggy]

I think what this whole sorry episode illustrates is that our huggy so far less easily led than he used to be.  Sad really 

It is important to say at this point that a project scope has not yet been received from the Press Gang Committee, therefore work cannot start on the planning phase and that needs to be completed before approval to the procurement phase.
Here is information publicly available to anyone with the smarts to drive the Interwebby.  You can find out all about the event there and see for yourself the low availability of tickets.  I'm sure this info would have been shared at the PGC on Wednesday evening so I don't know why I am including it here and repeating pre-planning tasks already completed, but I'm anticipating queries from anyone that was not paying attention.
Given the close proximity of the event I suggest anyone actually interested in going and the availability to escape employment orifices begin to make their interest known to someone that may or may not procure some of the remaining seat tickets.

A destination providing sunshine, Belgian beers (Trappist preferably) and/or Meerlust Rubicon may be considered a mitigating circumstance. The provision of all three could see a promotion to a management position (line manager to the BB) - Master of Wine and Beer.

I believe the location of the meeting of the PGC on the 17th October is The Chequers, Roxwell.  I have no idea their of their Belgian beer offering, that information will be available from the calendar organiser after the thorough vetting visit(s) previously conducted.

[psyclist]

Might another date rather than Wed 24th work?

Just a suggestion as it means those not planning to go to the 6 day event would still have the opportunity for a mollycoddled evening arranged for them, and I'm not free on 24th.

[huggy]

Just sayin...
GOAL POSTS
 

[psyclist]

Just sayin..
GOAL POSTS

 

If I were to take a neutral standpoint, it wouldn't take me long to determine who might be better at defining those goal posts, the protagonist or the antagonist<sup>1

1</sup> I'll leave you to decide who might be which ...

[huggy]

Just sayin..
GOAL POSTS

 

If I were to take a neutral standpoint, it wouldn't take me long to determine who might be better at defining those goal posts, the protagonist or the antagonist<sup>1

1</sup> I'll leave you to decide who might be which ...

Indeed.
And stands to illustrate the antagonist's perspective that all such details would be expected to have been discussed and finalised at the PGC meeting where the protagonist presented all the pertinent information in a 32 slide powerpoint presentation, maybe with flashing images so requisite warning would have been duly given.^*
So, if that PPT slide deck can be shared with a list of individuals whom desire a ticket to attend one or more evenings of the 6-day event then a procurement plan can be worked upon.

* It is sympathetically understood that some of the finer details of the presentation may have been missed by those in attendance due to being distracted by fruitless interjections about a Karaoke machine.  For that distraction the Chair & Bard, and protagonist, ought to be taken to task for not keeping the meeting in order.
Blimey, the HR Dept's work is stacking up!

[Oscar's dad]

For the sake of fuck 

This is what happens when clever people get involved.  Allow me to supply some clarity and reduce complexity... just book me a ticket    At the moment I can do any Wednesday in 2018 except next Wednesday when I'll be in Edinburgh.

[tedshred]

There are still tickets available for the 6 Days London on the 24th at £20.33 each but not as many as were available when I looked last week.  They are not the best seats in the house but it should still be fun.

Not much happens before about 7 as they have under 21 racing early on.  I am going on the Monday as well so I will no doubt find out what is happening.

I most likely won't be out on Wednesday so decision time is today/tomorrow.

[huggy]

So for the group booking, tickets required are:
Ted - one for Wednesday 24th
OD - one for any Wednesday in the year but suggest going for the 24th as that is when the 6-days of London is on
pysclist - one for any day except Wednesday 24th

Any further requests?

I am going on the Monday as well so I will no doubt find out what is happening.

As far as I can see the 6 days starts on Tuesday 23rd October, unless there is some special invitation event on Monday 22nd.

[tedshred]

As far as I can see the 6 days starts on Tuesday 23rd October, unless there is some special invitation event on Monday 22nd.

Well spotted Sergeant Wilson, I was wondering who would spot my deliberate error !  My diary said I was going on the Monday, the invitation says the Tuesday.

It looks like a bit of dead duck anyway, it needed the Huggy touch.  In future everything (except Epiphany) should be organised by Huggy or Psyclist 

[Oscar's dad]

Hmmm, not sure about psyclist, he seems to think its perfectly acceptable to ride a bicycle for more than 15 miles without stopping for a beer.  Strange man.

[psyclist]

Hmmm, not sure about psyclist, he seems to think its perfectly acceptable to ride a bicycle for more than 15 miles without stopping for a beer.  Strange man.

Does that mean you'd join in a 200km ride with beer stops every 15 miles then? Or would you end up on the Horlicks like you did at the end of the Dutch trip? (oops, did I let something out of the bag there?)

[Oscar's dad]

Hmmm, not sure about psyclist, he seems to think its perfectly acceptable to ride a bicycle for more than 15 miles without stopping for a beer.  Strange man.

Does that mean you'd join in a 200km ride with beer stops every 15 miles then? Or would you end up on the Horlicks like you did at the end of the Dutch trip? (oops, did I let something out of the bag there?)

I’d never rule anything in or out!

[psyclist]

Changing the subject, let me know if you're interested in a non-Audax off-road ride on 13th April. Options for either 200km or 130km. Entries open on 1st December, with the £60 entry fee also covering the cost of parking and camping for the weekend. If you haven't guessed, its the Dirty Reiver.

[tedshred]

All aboard for night train

No, not that train, that came later.

I knew when I saw Jerry Sadowitz astride Dakota that we were in for a thrash - he has been trying to keep up with Joergen these past few weeks on Fred and he had obviously realised it was time to bring out the big gun.  The fact that the Lynx was on his soot bike and that Hotblack, Charles Vane and NJOD were also in attendance guaranteed a fast ride to the pub.  Stupidly, I tried to keep up for a while rather than taking the sensible option which was diverting straight to the pub with the Hustler and Jem.  Along the way, we picked up Oaky and Tomsk - by the way, why does the peloton slow down to intercept Tomsk but not me ? 

It took no time to arrive at the Chequers in Roxwell despite one of Jerry's twisty turny routes.  On arrival, Oaky declared that the ride had been conducted "at an uncivilised pace dear boy" and he wasn't wrong.

In another triumph for forward planning, it was quiz night at the Chequers so the fact that Joergen, Christoph Waltz, Toby's Dad, Josser and Bill Bailey were also in attendance meant that 15 of us were crammed into a small corner next to the piano.  We were also repeatedly told off for talking.  Several theories were suggested for the large attendance - proximity to Chelmsford, the mild autumn, the chance to pretend we were sat in a sodding library for the evening, Huggy telling us in advance he wouldn't be out - but who knows.  Of course, Jerry booked us in there for the pre Epiphany after party lunch.  In fairness, the friendly new landlord seemed very keen to have us back and has promised to keep the pub open just for us that afternoon.

When the quiz was finally over and we were allowed to speak again, we discussed (briefly) relay perms to keep Christoph happy, the stuff that we do to keep ourselves occupied during the hours that lead up to the Epiphany after party and the uncivil ceremony that is planned for Epiphany.  Excitingly, we now have a matron of dishonour, a next best thing and a page boy (the Straggler).  Jerry is very excited about his matron outfit - I think he pictures a flowing ballgown and tiara but we were thinking more Carry on Doctor and, hopefully, a ball gag.

With the lack of selection (2 x Greene King ales and one guest), the Quaffers' Choice went by default to Ridley's Rite.

NJOD and the Lynx then decided we needed another time trial back to Chelmsford.  Most of the Witham peloton were so focused on getting to Boss Hogg's by then that they didn't seem to notice or care.  For my part, I made my excuses and left - to catch a real train.  I noticed it was 8 degrees on the last bit of my ride home but on a still night it didn't seem too cold and there was no need for knee warmers. 

I assume Joergen is on the recovery part of his training programme as we seem to be in Chelmsford again next week.

[tedshred]

Fright Night

It was a hard night's work for the Quaffers' Choice Committee yesterday evening at the Woolpack's Halloween beer festival.

I arrived fashionably late as ever, despite train assistance, to find fellow committee member Oaky locking his bike outside.  At that point only Joergen and Tomsk were inside.  Joergen was clearly hoping for a Committee booty call with no sign of the Hustler or the rest of the Witham peloton.  His hopes were dashed a short while later when Cat Stevens, Huggy, Hotblack, Bartholomew Roberts and the Hustler appeared.  Needless to say, Cat Stevens had dragged them along a tortuous route that seemed to be going nowhere near the eventual venue.

Those who had earned them (and one who hadn't  ), received their ACME Winter Brevet Series patches from Huggy.  I still prefer his original artwork  but they look smart and I really ought to earn one (unlike Cat Stevens).

Not only was it billed as a Halloween beer festival, they also had Halloween themed beers.  We sampled R.I.P.A. by Hammerpot, Scaredy Cat by Moorhouse, Boo ! by Fuzzy Duck, Hubble Bubble by Charnwood, Wraith by Ghost, Fiery Cauldron by Strathaven Ales and Most Haunted by Castle Rock.  The quality was good across the board but Boo ! took the award with one judge referring to its Drumstick lolly notes.

We discussed Huggy organising a Halloween themed outing for next week, diversity in the ACME peloton and the forthcoming bivvy night.

The first part of the journey home seemed warm enough for late October.  It did cool down once I had alighted from the train though and I was almost tempted into knee warmers but with a lovely full moon to guide me, it was a pleasant ride home.

[Oscar's dad]

A smashing report as always ted but you neglected to mentioned we have officially diagnosed BFC with Tourettes Syndrome, if nothing else BFC's condition adds yet more to the MEMWNS diversity score.

On the way home myself, Oaky and BFC stopped at Boss Hogg's.  Oaky and I have discovered the lamb kofta wrap - absolutely delicious.
 BFC enjoyed doner meat and chips with lashings of chili sauce.

[Tomsk]

Agreed - a fine selection of interestingly different ales 

Such a strong full moon directly overhead, that home-bound I rode several sections without front lights. To judge by the two roadside corpses, the snuffling and rustling in the hedgerows and the one young black and white critter I saw, it was a busy night for the 'Nemesis of Tomsk'. Thankfully the only close-ish encounter was with yet another deer.

[Oscar's dad]

With ted having submitted his CBA paperwork I suppose recounting the tale of yesterday evening falls to me.

As is my habit I arrived fashionably early at the Spa Road roundabout.  Normally some company turns up within a few minutes but I was still on my own come 1930 hours, save a few trick or treaters.  The two lads in inflatable suits which entirely covered them, including their faces won the "Best Effort Award".  As Oaky had said he was turning out I waited a few moments more, and then yet more moments once I got to the Dancing Dick's / Peg Millar cross roads - still no Oaky - it looked like a solo ride to Duton Hill.  Heading north up Peg Millars Lane I spotted a red dot in the distance which turned into Oaky.  He thought he'd missed the peloton so was hammering it to catch up, thankfully he spotted my lights behind him and slowed down.  Had he not we could have both ridden solo to the pub not realising we were half a mile apart.

Whilst fighting our way out of the busy metropolis which is Felsted another set of lights appeared behind us.  "How do chaps?", it was jibers.  Not far from the pub jibers suddenly said "Deer!" and there stood motionless on the verge watching us with interest but no sign alarm was a EDIT: roe fallow deer.  It took off as we passed, thankfully into a field rather than across our path.

It was about 9pm when we got to the Three Horsehoes.  I have visited three times before and never seen the place so busy.  Already there were psyclist, Tomsk, Soupy and Jake, the Deakins having walked from Dunmow (good effort).  Me and Oaky had made an effort for Halloween 




... the others not so much 

Mrs Tomsk turned up to take her boys home and the remainder talked the normal bollox.

The locals were quite a feisty bunch and one lady in particular was most concerned we wouldn't make it home as we were so pissed, which we weren't.  She followed us outside whilst we faffed about continuing to vent her concern with some vigour, to be fair she was quite pissed 

The rain had set in whilst we were in the bar and our ride home was wet, wetter than I can remember it being for some time.  Once jibers had decided we were too slow and done one Oaky and I enjoyed a damp but relaxed pedal back to Witham.

All in all a very pleasant night 

[jiberjaber]

Indeed a special night for which some of the attendees may need GILF counseling to recover from! 

It was a Fallow Deer on the way out, I was a bit worried when it decided to run alongside of us.... 

Did you get the treat of the Roe Buck just after Stebbing?  Magnificent chap and thankfully didn't fancy a fight with a cyclist as he passed... I suspect I would have been worse off from his antlers than he would have been from my spokes!

A smattering of wet most of the way until it bucketted it down from the outskirts of Chelmsford to home.

[Oscar's dad]

Indeed a special night for which some of the attendees may need GILF counseling to recover from! 

It was a Fallow Deer on the way out, I was a bit worried when it decided to run alongside of us.... 

Did you get the treat of the Roe Buck just after Stebbing?  Magnificent chap and thankfully didn't fancy a fight with a cyclist as he passed... I suspect I would have been worse off from his antlers than he would have been from my spokes!

A smattering of wet most of the way until it bucketted it down from the outskirts of Chelmsford to home.

That's a shame, we didn't see the roe buck. You must have scared him with your 24/7/365 Halloween outfit 

[psyclist]

Really enjoyed the ACME Awards night, and very grateful to receive the AAAAA trophy ... ACME Audax Altitude Award Award. Nice to see a nod to hilly rides, and I'm hoping more riders will explore the delights of hilly regions. These can actually be explored with a start in Essex ... 2 of my biggest AAA-scoring rides last year started in Essex; the ACME Grand and an ECE of Greenwich Mean Climb.

Tomsk made a call out for new award ideas. I've a couple of ideas, one for newcomers to the world of Audax, and one for riders who seek to extend themselves, not necessarily always with success. The first of which is perhaps better formed, but the latter could have some legs.

Neo-pro : this would be an award for a rider who has just started riding Audax events. It would be points based (ACME points), with eligibility limited to those who have ridden their first Audax in either the current year, or the previous year. So a rider who rode their first Audax in June 2018 would be eligible for the award in both 2018 and 2019. This gives them time to get to know about the award, and doesn't discriminate against those new to Audaxing later in the year. The objective of the award would be to encourage new riders to ride a little bit more and get into the community.

Beyond the limits : fundamentally this would reward a rider who attempts rides which might be beyond themselves or their equipment, encouraging them to be audacious in their choice of Audax rides. One way to measure this would be the cumulative distance a rider has travelled once they have abandoned a ride to get back to the start/finish of the ride, across all rides they have abandoned during the year. This might be by any means, including trains, taxis and of course cycling. Individual ride examples in the past year that would have counted would include those brave riders who attempted to beat the weather on their way to York, likewise on the ACME Grand, a broken gear cable on Yr Elenydd, and overbearing heat and hills on Mille Cymru GT (although that rider would need to be giving their points to ACME not Sudbury to be eligible).