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Author Topic: You couldn't make it up!  (Read 8696 times)

Maladict

You couldn't make it up!
« on: 24 April, 2008, 01:22:35 pm »
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dkahn400

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #1 on: 24 April, 2008, 01:26:11 pm »
Quote from: Maladict(a) on 24 April, 2008, 01:22:35 pm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/north_west/7360871.stm


I like a witty judge.

Earlier, when Hughes failed to arrive on time, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: "I hope the force will soon be with him."
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The old Legion hand told the recruit, "When things are bad, bleu, try not to make them worse, because it is very likely that they are bad enough already." -- Robert Ruark

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #2 on: 24 April, 2008, 01:28:45 pm »
Fantastic!  Definately news story of the day!!!!

Had to check the date on the story first though :)
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Pingu

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Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #3 on: 24 April, 2008, 01:31:37 pm »
Quote
The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.


That's equivalent to about 13 bottles  :o I'm surprised he could even stand up let alone go out assaulting people.
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hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #4 on: 24 April, 2008, 01:38:21 pm »
Quote from: Pingu on 24 April, 2008, 01:31:37 pm
Quote
The court heard he has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.


That's equivalent to about 13 bottles  :o I'm surprised he could even stand up let alone go out assaulting people.

I'm surprised he's still alive; that would be a lethal dose of alcohol.
Aren't wine boxes usually 3 litres?
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tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #5 on: 24 April, 2008, 02:05:38 pm »
10 litres(of normal strength wine) would be a lethal dose for the average man in the street, but to a hardened dipso might not even touch the sides.

Also no mention is made of what it was he had drunk.  Wine, in the UK, legally can be upto 12% ABV.  Weaker wines are common, and much cheaper (Lambrini is actually somewhere near 3%ABV, again IIRC).  So basically the level of alcohol imbibed could be anywhere between the equivilent of 10 litres(20 pints) of lager and 40 litres (80 pints) dependent on what was drunk.  For a harden alco this could be the difference between a bad head the next day and death.  For your average Joe it would be the difference between death and full on never coming back death.

I don't know the full details of the incident, but chances are if he has a real problem then it would be towards the lower end of that scale, not the top.
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I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Greenbank

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #6 on: 24 April, 2008, 02:09:04 pm »
Quote from: tiermat on 24 April, 2008, 02:05:38 pm
Wine, in the UK, legally can be upto 12% ABV.

Err, are you sure? A quick perusal of Majestic's website shows that there are lots of wines available over 12% ABV.
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"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #7 on: 24 April, 2008, 02:11:07 pm »
Sorry my mistake, it's betwix 5.5% and 15%, over that and they are classed as fortified wines.  Below that and they are classed as piss....
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I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #8 on: 24 April, 2008, 02:38:08 pm »
Quote from: tiermat on 24 April, 2008, 02:05:38 pm
10 litres(of normal strength wine) would be a lethal dose for the average man in the street, but to a hardened dipso might not even touch the sides.

I don't know the full details of the incident, but chances are if he has a real problem then it would be towards the lower end of that scale, not the top.

AIUI a blood alcohol level of 500mg/100ml is lethal in just about anybody. That's over 6 times the drink drive limit, which would need maybe three glasses of wine to reach. Any more than 2 litres of wine seems lethal to me.

Alcoholics certainly tolerate higher blood alcohol levels but they don't metabolise alcohol much faster than 'normal' people IIRC.
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Regulator

  • That's Councillor Regulator to you...
Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #9 on: 24 April, 2008, 02:44:04 pm »
Quote from: hellymedic on 24 April, 2008, 02:38:08 pm
Quote from: tiermat on 24 April, 2008, 02:05:38 pm
10 litres(of normal strength wine) would be a lethal dose for the average man in the street, but to a hardened dipso might not even touch the sides.

I don't know the full details of the incident, but chances are if he has a real problem then it would be towards the lower end of that scale, not the top.

AIUI a blood alcohol level of 500mg/100ml is lethal in just about anybody. That's over 6 times the drink drive limit, which would need maybe three glasses of wine to reach. Any more than 2 litres of wine seems lethal to me.

Alcoholics certainly tolerate higher blood alcohol levels but they don't metabolise alcohol much faster than 'normal' people IIRC.

I'm not an expert but I don't think that can be right.  I've drunk more than 2 litres of wine (and high ABV stuff at that) at a single sitting.  I may have had the hangover from hell the next day but I was alive(ish)....
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Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

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Mr Larrington

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Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #10 on: 24 April, 2008, 02:55:47 pm »
Quote from: tiermat on 24 April, 2008, 02:11:07 pm
Sorry my mistake, it's betwix 5.5% and 15%, over that and they are classed as fortified wines.  Below that and they are classed as piss....

Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) is fond of this stuff: clicky.  There was a special edition of the 2006 vintage: clickytoo
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Regulator

  • That's Councillor Regulator to you...
Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #11 on: 24 April, 2008, 02:59:59 pm »
Quote from: Mr Larrington on 24 April, 2008, 02:55:47 pm
Quote from: tiermat on 24 April, 2008, 02:11:07 pm
Sorry my mistake, it's betwix 5.5% and 15%, over that and they are classed as fortified wines.  Below that and they are classed as piss....

Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) is fond of this stuff: clicky.  There was a special edition of the 2006 vintage: clickytoo



Ooooh - that looks nice...

[Gets out credit card]
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Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Green Party Councillor

Greenbank

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #12 on: 24 April, 2008, 03:01:59 pm »
It doesn't say over how long a period of time he drank the wine.

The average person will process alcohol at the rate of about 1 unit per hour1. So, theoretically, you could drink one 125ml glass of 9% wine (1 unit) per hour and remain "sober" enough to drive. So that's 2 bottles of 9% wine in the space of 12 hours and, theoretically, still be under the drink drive limit.

1. And this is the pessimistic calculation suggested by the govt for working out whether you can drive the morning after a heavy session.
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"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

Tourist Tony

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Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #13 on: 24 April, 2008, 03:19:45 pm »
Alcohol is funny stuff. Tolerance for the side effects increases with exposure (holding your drink) but the lethal dose, as in blood alcohol level, remains the same.
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FatBloke

  • I come from a land up over!
Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #14 on: 24 April, 2008, 03:26:13 pm »
Where can you get these 10 litre wine boxes?   ;)
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This isn't just a thousand to one shot. This is a professional blood sport. It can happen to you. And it can happen again.

Really Ancien

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #15 on: 24 April, 2008, 03:34:47 pm »
Playing with light sabres in their garden, founding a Jedi church. These soppy Walters got what they deserved. It would make a great Viz style comic strip though. Did the cousins get the alcoholic Darth Vader in a bin bag on video. Perhaps they should re-enact it for Youtube. Meanwhile a sub 2 minute extract of Star Wars with the original Dave Prowse dialogue will have to do.
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/xmBtr9bbPEc&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/xmBtr9bbPEc&rel=1</a>

Damon.
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mattc

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Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #16 on: 24 April, 2008, 05:23:35 pm »
Quote from: Really Ancien on 24 April, 2008, 03:34:47 pm
These soppy Walters got what they deserved.
Too right - imagine 2 of you, armed with Light Sabres, losing to 1 bloke with a crutch. They should resign from the brotherhood*.


(*or WTF it's called )
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Has never ridden RAAM
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No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

dkahn400

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #17 on: 24 April, 2008, 06:08:09 pm »
Quote from: mattc on 24 April, 2008, 05:23:35 pm

Too right - imagine 2 of you, armed with Light Sabres, losing to 1 bloke with a crutch.


They probably have a lame excuse.

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The old Legion hand told the recruit, "When things are bad, bleu, try not to make them worse, because it is very likely that they are bad enough already." -- Robert Ruark

spesh

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #18 on: 24 April, 2008, 10:00:50 pm »
Quote from: dkahn400 on 24 April, 2008, 06:08:09 pm
Quote from: mattc on 24 April, 2008, 05:23:35 pm

Too right - imagine 2 of you, armed with Light Sabres, losing to 1 bloke with a crutch.


They probably have a lame excuse.

And you haven't got a leg to stand on, coming up with a pun like that...
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"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Jon P

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #19 on: 25 April, 2008, 12:25:07 pm »
Such fantastic jokes deserve a dual hip operation - "hip hip, hooray!"
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dkahn400

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #20 on: 25 April, 2008, 02:11:49 pm »
Quote from: Johnny Thin on 25 April, 2008, 12:25:07 pm
Such fantastic jokes deserve a dual hip operation - "hip hip, hooray!"

Oh dear, that was a bit limp.

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The old Legion hand told the recruit, "When things are bad, bleu, try not to make them worse, because it is very likely that they are bad enough already." -- Robert Ruark

spesh

Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #21 on: 25 April, 2008, 05:54:03 pm »
You could say that it hobbled to the punchline.
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"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
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Re: You couldn't make it up!
« Reply #22 on: 25 April, 2008, 06:38:56 pm »
Perhaps he used a crutch because he was disabred?

(Hmm. think I was stretching there ... )
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Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles
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