"Yesterday, I went , as we all must to Peppa Pig World.
I don't know if you've been to Peppa Pig World; hands up who's been to Peppa Pig World? Not enough.
I have now made an executive decision to appoint Miss Peppa as our new Conservative Business Secretary.
Peppa, reminds us it is indeed 'business as usual' here and 'snouts in troughs' for our cabinet colleagues will continue..."