Author Topic: Really bad books you've read  (Read 20788 times)

citoyen

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Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #225 on: 16 January, 2021, 09:24:04 pm »
Oddly, I was the peculiar child who liked Shakespeare at school (we did Twelfth Night). I liked the twisty-turny language.

We also did Shaw's Pygmalion. I'm not sure whether that was on the curriculum or expressed our English teacher's wish that we'd all learn to talk proper. We'd already destroyed a number of French teachers.

It always makes me laugh that every DH Lawrence adaption has people sounding like they're from Yorkshire.

Ian, are you old enough to have seen the Python sketch in which Lawrence's father (Graham Chapman, I think), dressed working-class-wise, berates DH (Palin) along the lines of "You could've been a writer or a painter, or musician, like everyone else, but no, you had to ponce about down the pit....."?   I'm doing it from memory, but I think I've got the essence!

Ah think that were Yorkshire, rather than the East Midlands cockney of Nottamunshire, too, but it was very funny.

Tungsten carbide drills!

For an authentic East Midlands accent in popular culture, I strongly recommend the Sleaford Mods.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #226 on: 16 January, 2021, 09:46:57 pm »
I'll look into it!

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #227 on: 16 January, 2021, 09:58:42 pm »
I think I might have and yes, I believe it was Yorkshire. It always is. You will never hear a proper Erewashian accent and if you did, you'd wish you hadn't. It's not an accent that travels.

I've told the story of when I brought my American girlfriend back to the UK to meet my family. As we toiled back to Heathrow she looked at me and said 'I didn't understand a thing. For the entire weekend." To be fair, she'd trained by watching Four Weddings and Funeral and I've elocuted myself into a stupid semi-posho accent that's probably even worse than I think it sounds. Every time I speak to my family, I have to do that cognitive adjustment*. To be fair, when people yell eh oop me duck at you, you do have to wonder if you're about to be Clockwork Oranged or somesuch.

*this the same one Americans always have to do when they deal with a British accent that isn't Hugh Grant-ish. As a plus, any kind of British accent is mesmerizing for some American women, a power which I, of course, used responsibly.

 ;D

I'm from the North-East but have lived near Rochdale for a very long time.  Down here, people hearing me for the first time often wonder if I'm from the North-East - and when I go "home", I'm accused of being from Lancashire!  Most of the American women round here teach Creative Writing, so language isn't their strongpoint. 

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #228 on: 16 January, 2021, 11:15:59 pm »
I read Kangaroo by D H Lawrence and wished I hadn't bothered.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #229 on: 26 January, 2021, 09:47:39 am »
I've got a new sport - highlighting bad lines in books I'm reading. Here's one from The Potter's Hand by AN Wilson:

"...what struck him chiefly about this younger squaw were the eyes: they shone with brightness from their dark globes, and it was a brightness which seemed deeply wise."

To be fair, it's not a really bad book overall, but it is certainly not without its flaws.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

ian

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #230 on: 26 January, 2021, 09:57:18 am »
I think anyone who's eyes glow has more serious problems than a surfeit of wisdom.

Mr Larrington

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Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #231 on: 26 January, 2021, 10:54:47 am »
Also the use of the word “squaw” is Strongly Deprecated these days.
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citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #232 on: 26 January, 2021, 11:03:19 am »
Also the use of the word “squaw” is Strongly Deprecated these days.

AN Wilson strikes me as the sort of person who would reply "PC gone mad" if you levelled that one at him.

I think it's OK in the context though, given that it's historical fiction. The Cherokee are also referred to as Indians, Redskins and Savages by various characters. And the African slaves are referred to as... well, I'm sure you can guess.

I would place outdated language low on the list of problems with this book.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Davef

Really bad books you've read
« Reply #233 on: 26 January, 2021, 04:45:33 pm »
Also the use of the word “squaw” is Strongly Deprecated these days.

AN Wilson strikes me as the sort of person who would reply "PC gone mad" if you levelled that one at him.

I think it's OK in the context though, given that it's historical fiction. The Cherokee are also referred to as Indians, Redskins and Savages by various characters. And the African slaves are referred to as... well, I'm sure you can guess.

I would place outdated language low on the list of problems with this book.
The only A.N.Wilson book I have is the Betjeman one and I only bought that for the letter.

Edit: for those unfamiliar he wrote a book about betjeman including the text of a letter he had discovered in his research. Unfortunately he was the subject of a practical joke and the planted letter which made it through to the first editions was a fake. The first letter of each sentence spelled out “ANWilson is a shit”

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #234 on: 26 January, 2021, 05:23:28 pm »
I've heard that story before, a long time ago, and had forgotten it. Thanks for the reminder!
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

sprogs

  • from your big sister, Steve.
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #235 on: 28 January, 2021, 06:27:31 pm »
Has anyone mentioned E.E.Doc lensmans classic "Smith" series ?
Sorry, force of habit, E.E. Doc Smith's "Classic" (You have GOT to be joking" Lensman series ?
"Gee Dottie, you're a blinding flash and a deafening report !"
I unwittingly bought the first (of seven) book. I was so appalled by how bad it was that I could not stop reading and had to retch my heaving brain through to the last volume.
It was so bad that I chucked my way through his other even worse series.
I think that there are primitive cultures around the world that use his works as a "Coming of age" ritual.
Either we chop the end of your willy off or you have to read a full series.
This is why so few people have a whole willy.

sprogs

  • from your big sister, Steve.
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #236 on: 28 January, 2021, 06:29:02 pm »
.....And don't get me started on L. Ron Fekking Hubbard.
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Pingu

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Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #237 on: 28 January, 2021, 06:30:25 pm »

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #238 on: 28 January, 2021, 06:41:19 pm »
I saw that^^ but the headline alone put my off. The idea of even reading about Trumpian erotica was too sickening, let lone reading the actual books (are they books?).
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Kim

  • Timelord
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Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #239 on: 28 January, 2021, 09:20:44 pm »
I saw that^^ but the headline alone put my off. The idea of even reading about Trumpian erotica was too sickening, let lone reading the actual books (are they books?).

Rule 34, innit.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #240 on: 29 January, 2021, 09:56:08 am »
 :hand:
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

ian

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #241 on: 29 January, 2021, 10:00:30 am »
Chuck Tingle seems to be something of a literary sensation.

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #242 on: 29 January, 2021, 01:53:42 pm »
Anything by Nina Bawden, also favoured of school English teachers. Blarg.
Oh goodness, yes. Miserable teenagers Finding Themselves. Grim.
(On the other hand I was a JRRT addict; I think you either really like or totally dislike that kind of thing.)

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #243 on: 29 January, 2021, 02:35:05 pm »
Chuck Tingle seems to be something of a literary sensation.

Chuck Tingle sounds like the kind of sensation you would go to see your GP about.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #244 on: 29 January, 2021, 02:36:13 pm »
Chuck Tingle seems to be something of a literary sensation.

Chuck Tingle sounds like the kind of sensation you would go to see your GP about.

Probably a trapped nerve.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

ian

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #245 on: 29 January, 2021, 02:51:28 pm »
Apparently, he* pioneered dino-p0rn genre. I would so want that on my CV.

*I have an inkling she's not.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #246 on: 29 January, 2021, 02:56:51 pm »
Anything by Nina Bawden, also favoured of school English teachers. Blarg.
Oh goodness, yes. Miserable teenagers Finding Themselves. Grim.
(On the other hand I was a JRRT addict; I think you either really like or totally dislike that kind of thing.)
I was going to say I enjoyed her books as a kid, but on checking, it turns out I've never read a single one. I must have been confusing her with Enid Nesbit or someone with a similar Edwardian-sounding name.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #247 on: 29 January, 2021, 04:37:19 pm »
Anything by Nina Bawden, also favoured of school English teachers. Blarg.
Oh goodness, yes. Miserable teenagers Finding Themselves. Grim.
(On the other hand I was a JRRT addict; I think you either really like or totally dislike that kind of thing.)
I was going to say I enjoyed her books as a kid, but on checking, it turns out I've never read a single one. I must have been confusing her with Enid Nesbit or someone with a similar Edwardian-sounding name.

I think you're conflating Enid Blyton and Edith Nesbit. Enid Blyton definitely deserves a place on this thread: I found her unreadable even as a kid (which probably disqualified me from half the children's books at the time). I'm sure I read some Nesbit but found her dull. Quite possibly I read something by Nina Bawden too, if so it was utterly unmemorable. Not even bad.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #248 on: 29 January, 2021, 04:51:11 pm »
Edith Nesbit, yes, not Enid. Beyond that, no, not conflating her Blyton. Never read any Enid Blyton but did read eg Five Children and It, The Phoenix and the Carpet.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Really bad books you've read
« Reply #249 on: 29 January, 2021, 11:10:32 pm »
I think when I reached "reading Blyton" age was when I went on a reading hiatus.
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