Malmesbury Mash 200 km

[caerau]

Well I think I can rather echo Rabbit's post, definitely a ride of 2 halves.


A weird one too.  I think I must have been on a different route to everyone else as this was just about my most solitary audax of all time.  Was I the only one who went via the Newport flats and Caldicot? It's just about the only reason I can think of as to why I ended up more or less at the back of the field (not Lantern rouge I think but it was very nearly a 12 hour ride in the end).
I followed a couple of Ajax people on the non-official route to the A48 at the beginning but they were bimbling and chatting a bit too much for me so I went ahead and basically saw noone else until Tim and friend helped me out with a puncture with about 17 miles to Malmesbury - thanks both.  I used the Caldicot route as I was on my own and that was what was programmed into the GPS.  Turned out nice, it was lovely, weather was fine, quite windy but dry and sunny and the scenery was lovely.  This lasted a long time. Until Slimbridge.
Despite averaging about 15 mph all the way to Malmerbury (and nearly 18 to Severn View Services where I controlled) when I arrived at Malmesbury nearly everybody had been and gone 


So thus far a fine ride but I have a feeling I'd ridden a lot further than others as the organiser had suggested by email that we take the A48 all the way to Chepstow.


So I was in fine mood when I left Slimbridge and then the long awaited storm hit with a vengeance.  It was bad getting to the bridge on the way back but this was just a wee taster of  - yes - the horror to come.


The cross winds that had been bothersome (and possibly dangerous to lighter riders than moi) on the long drag after Malmesbury turned into gale force gusts straight in the face and just destroyed the the soul and totally drained all the energy I had left.  By the time I got to Newport I'd been through a bad place that I haven't been in since my 400 last year.  I recognise the symptoms now so I was stopping on occasion to resupply the reserves with my Soreen maltloaf and this worked for a while and I thought myself out of a bad patch.  However my mental recovery was mysteriously coincident with a lull in the storm.  When the storm came back it came back :-(.  I swear the worst gusts were timed by the evil-god to coincide with the lower end of each climb on the A48 so that it removed all my momentum.  I was at times in my lowest gear even on descents just to crawl along at snails pace.
I decided with about 12 miles to go that I needed a proper chill in a coffee shop so I stopped at a garage expecting a coffee machine but instead was presented with a Tesco metro.  As soon as I went outside with my croissants and milkshake the deluge REALLY started. They did revive my legs but the remainder of the journey was absolutely horrendous and proper dangerous at times.  Do  FUCKING ARSEHOLE (sorry still mad) drivers only come out in the wet or something?  I had at least three run ins with morons who'd rather risk your life that find a use for the middle pedal.  Particularly infuriating was one guy pulling out of his car park who blantantly saw me crossing his exit but sorry mate IDGAF - he drove out without slowing and only evasive action saved me from being mown down     I was by this point in the mood for kicking the crap out of some moron and I wasn't very far away from acting on this as he (of course) ended up immediately stuck at lights with me close behind.
</rant>


Repeated advice on these Cardiff Audaxes has always been - if it's dark and you don't feel safe on the laney route home, feel free to take the A48 instead.  I personally struggle to think of a more bloody dangerous road than the A48 at that time of night on a Saturday.  It's bloody lethal and I've never been so close to dealing out violence to selected car drivers.  It's very hard to chillax in conditions like that and I do have a bit of a short fuse anyway.


Anyway, 3/4 of the ride was excellent and of course it's mostly my own fault for choosing to ride when it was no surprise that a major storm was going to hit. We were really pretty lucky it wasn't like the weather at the end all day.
Thanks very much to Ritchie for organising.


I never want to ride in conditions like that again but I've done it before and said that before 


I borrowed MarcusJB's unfunnometer(TM) for the last stretch and it definitely went up to 11 today at times.


At least my bike behaved today - thanks to Flatus' fettling on Dr Foster's Winter Warmer the old skipping chain problem has vanished.  I don't count the puncture - that just happens.


I shall chill out now - promise     My (and I presume pretty much every other rider I guess) character has been well and truly built today.

[Bairdy]

^^^^^^^^^

It was purely riding alone that did you in I recon.
We went out on the A48 which is good at that time of day. The return leg it goes on forever and I don't likey.

People sort of drifted off from the start, I prefer the way Blacksheep gathers his flock riders for a quick briefing before sending them on their way.
It's then much more likely you'll form groups with familiar faces and ride with company.
I saw you, Hammerman and others at the start but after getting back from the crapper most had left and I saw neither of you again.
I spent the day with Mikey and Chimpanzee Wheelers Brian and saw plenty of others at controls and on the road.


One thing that bothers me about Audax is it can sometimes be less sociable than you expect.
The social side of calendar events is the main draw for me, when it doesn't happen it's disappointing.
(might as well just ride a perm thoughts permeate the brain on such days)

I enjoyed the day, Chepstow to Cardiff I could have lived without.
I found it easier than last weeks Tewkesbury ride which had similar conditions but a lot more lumps.

[rabbit]

A weird one too.  I think I must have been on a different route to everyone else as this was just about my most solitary audax of all time.  Was I the only one who went via the Newport flats and Caldicot? It's just about the only reason I can think of as to why I ended up more or less at the back of the field (not Lantern rouge I think but it was very nearly a 12 hour ride in the end).

Interesting that this route has such a rapid alternative to the lanes.  Now, 99% of the time, I would rather ride lanes than A roads and never really feel that taking the A road short cut is in 'the spirit' of the event.  Yesterday though, I was not in a good place at the start so ended up on the A48 as I couldn't bare the thought of getting halfway on the lanes only to find them flooded.  I was also constantly torn whether to bail on the first stretch so promised myself a coffee at the Cafe and then a return to the van from there if I still was still not feeling it.  I think this came from being so concerned about the return leg and getting caught in the bad weather as I still haven't really got a decent outer shell or overshoes. 

So thus far a fine ride but I have a feeling I'd ridden a lot further than others as the organiser had suggested by email that we take the A48 all the way to Chepstow.

If it's any consolation, I took three wrong turns on the way back from Slimbridge as I wasn't concentrating hard enough on the GPS so that probably made up some of the distance 

The cross winds that had been bothersome (and possibly dangerous to lighter riders than moi)

Yes, they were dangerous.  Part of the reason I kept pushing was to get off the top of the Cotswolds before the storm really hit, but even as it was, I got blown into the centre of the road on several occasions.  Fine, until it happens when a driver chooses to overtake as close as possible.  I was struggling with the cross winds all day actually, just trying to keep the front wheel in line at times is very hard upper body work and energy sapping compared to being able to relax into the ride and just spin the legs.

Repeated advice on these Cardiff Audaxes has always been - if it's dark and you don't feel safe on the laney route home, feel free to take the A48 instead.  I personally struggle to think of a more bloody dangerous road than the A48 at that time of night on a Saturday.  It's bloody lethal and I've never been so close to dealing out violence to selected car drivers.  It's very hard to chillax in conditions like that and I do have a bit of a short fuse anyway.

I went back through the centre of Newport rather than the A48 bypass as that was the way the GPS sent me as I wasn't capable of decisions at that point.  I was probably surrounded by terrible driving as the weather had turned by then and the rain was pouring down, but I was too far gone to care.   

People sort of drifted off from the start, I prefer the way Blacksheep gathers his flock riders for a quick briefing before sending them on their way.

One thing that bothers me about Audax is it can sometimes be less sociable than you expect.
The social side of calendar events is the main draw for me, when it doesn't happen it's disappointing.
(might as well just ride a perm thoughts permeate the brain on such days)

I like the setting off together thing as well.  I wish I knew who you all are though - I guess us ladies are few and far between so it doesn't take much guessing, but for me I have no idea who's forum name ties in with what face. 

However, I do like riding solo as I do get grumpy if I start to struggle and don't like to rub that off on others.  Those headwinds after Slimbridge got all manner of very loud cursing from me "please just turn the f**king wind off* - I hate riding in the wind like that, I didn't realise how much - it's the noise of it I think.  Then my GPS rattled it's batteries loose and turned itself off and I had to stop to get it going again.  Then I looked exactly like this -    GPS is lucky I had calmed down a bit by the time I got back to the bridge (and was more worried about getting literally blown over the barrier) or it would've gone in the drink 

[Hot Flatus]

Essentially, I had your experience a couple of weeks back on the Dr Fosters. At one point I was blown right across the road on a descent.

No extra audax points for going out in conditions that are actually dangerous.

As for full-frontal headwinds, I got blown to a standstill at one point. I don't ever recall that happening. I've come to the conclusion that in general there is no point trying to fight a strong headwind on a long ride. It saps you very quickly and the return you get in terms of speed vs effort is a poor one.

[Henry]

You are all chicken oriental 

Thanks for the entertaining write-ups. Apart from the bits about near death that is...oo err 

It sounds even more testing than the final leg of the Transporter in November was. On this occasion I don't feel like I've missed out by not coming (joining the annoying smug club with Flatus).

[LittleWheelsandBig]

I believe that riding in headwinds and crosswinds is just another skill to be learned. Just as you can learn to cope with bumping elbows and shoulders at the finish of a race without getting pushed off-line, you can cope with gusty crosswinds without getting pushed all over the road. Granted, it takes a lot more more concentration to react to gusts and hold a straight line compared to a steady breeze.

[Hot Flatus]

It was the first time in 30 years of riding that this happened to me, Dave.

I have ridden in windy conditions once or twice in my life.

On this occasion I don't feel like I've missed out by not coming (joining the annoying smug club with Flatus).

To be quite honest, Henry, although it may appear smug, that is the very last thing I feel. I just want to go out on my bike, but I want to enjoy it.

 Also, three people depend on me....

[caerau]

It was purely riding alone that did you in I recon.

Yeah, I think so too.  Company would have helped a lot on that last leg.  I think I rode past IanN (was that you?) between Slimbridge and the bridge but you could see the weather turning and I decided I just wanted to get home as quick as possible.  Possibly not my best decision of the day to say hello and bimble along together.

Rabbit, I was in a red Altura night-vision top if that helps.  I recall you saying you have a van, I wonder if it was you who allowed me to lean my bike against it at the beginning when I though it might be where the Brevet cards were coming from?  If so I'll say hello properly next time.

Apologies for the swearing above, I wasn't very happy when I returned yesterday, mood not helped by the idiot drivers as I mentioned (can you tell? )

I don't think I was actually trying to fight the wind - there be a truly futile exercise - but it sapped the soul nevertheless.  More bothersome really was when it became one with fierce torrential rain.

The conditions for me were much worse (in the end at least) than on the Transporter but on that day I had the excellent company of Bairdy and Henry on the return leg and the pride of having ascended a severe climb in heavy winds without putting my foot down.  That helped a lot psychologically that day.

[bikey-mikey]

Granted you can learn to ride in headwinds and cross winds, and I'm always watching for gateways and getting my 'lean into it' going in advance....... Also you can see gusts by watching branches, and other riders, and also watching water on road surfaces, BUT if you're light and small and you don't have clues like I just mentioned, or it is a new gust from nowhere, you go sideways no matter how good you are. Bairdy can probably confirm seeing me leaning left at more than 15 degrees, whilst going violently RIGHT.

Yes it was a hard ride yesterday, but I had really thrashed out a 200 the previous day, and thus my legs started off shagged, yet it still wasn't that bad. We had loads of lovely sunshine, and very little rain indeed. Bairdy and I sat outside the Co-op in Malmesbury enjoying the sun and gassing.....

Yes it is debilitating in cross and headwinds, but my advice, for what it's worth, is to change your garmin screen so you can't actually see your speed, and then change into your granny ring, and then ride at your NORMAL effort, and sail along smelling the roses. Of course it takes longer, but do you really think you can ride a 200 and put out 40% more watts than you normally can?

All the pre ride weather /wind / flood comments, on here, in my personal opinion, may have lead to lots of people DNSing, when in the old days you would have ridden. Since it was mainly a sunny day wiv a couple of showers, the DNSers missed out on a day they could have enjoyed!!!

[Henry]

On this occasion I don't feel like I've missed out by not coming (joining the annoying smug club with Flatus).

To be quite honest, Henry, although it may appear smug, that is the very last thing I feel. I just want to go out on my bike, but I want to enjoy it.

 Also, three people depend on me....
[/quote]

Was only jesting mate, didn't actually think that you sounded smug, and nor was I really meaning to. And not really meaning to make light of what must have been some scary moments for the riders. That's it, we only do these events for the fun of it, and everyone has to make their own call as to where the line is.

[caerau]

I may have been guilty of looking at my speed to much towards the end, that's true as I just sooo wanted it over by that point.  I was mostly using the map by the time I got to Newport though as not taking a wrong turning was far higher a concern for the last 12-15 miles.


That storm is still blowing relentlessly out of my window as I type.  If it had hit 12 hours earlier I suspect there would have been a lot more DNS and DNFing going on.


Yep, try and remember the ride before Slimbridge - that was nice and enjoyable.  Malmesbury made me smile.  On the Buzzard last year I controlled there at a corner shop and drank my juice and milk in an alcove just opposite, I had a wee wry smile as I cycled past that spot yesterday and then stopped at Amanda's where the situation was much more civilised.


The Tudor Arms at Slimbridge is a very nice pub to control at - remind me why we use that miserable boat station place on most of the other Cardiff audaxes     Amanda's was one of the most friendly cafe's I've been to on an Audax they were very nice at allowing me to store the bike in their back yard and were generally extremely accommodating - the only improvement I could suggest is that maybe they heat their beans beyond tepid next time

[Glover Fan]

Have been lurking at this thread. Chapeau to those who got out, I remember waking 5 miles east of the Severn bridge yesterday at about 9am, seeing the bright sunshine whilst munching on a crumpet laced with Normandy salted butter and thinking "my, what a lovely day for a 200".

Then I went out and cleaned the bike which nearly got blown over and I retracted those thoughts.

I'm going to Clevedon now for a 80km ride. I'm hoping for gale force assisted Strava PB's on the way back...

I can live with rain etc, but wind does my head in. Some of my lowests points in cycling revolve around strong winds. Not all coming from my rear end either.

[caerau]

Well good luck Glover Fan, that storm hasn't relented one iota so far as I can tell. 

[bikey-mikey]

Oh yes, I forgot to mention in my bit about coping with winds that it is extremely helpful if you have at some time in the past acquired a severe brain injury    

[caerau]

Then I looked exactly like this -   GPS is lucky I had calmed down a bit by the time I got back to the bridge (and was more worried about getting literally blown over the barrier) or it would've gone in the drink

If you want a laugh Rabbit - on my very first ever 100 mile ride I undertook pretty much what we did yesterday - Cardiff to Bristol and back on (I think) 29th December 2012.  As it was my first time cycling across the Severn Bridge I decided to get the old phone out to take a picture.  Except it was wet, windy and miserable.  As I retrieved my phone from my rear pocket my wet gloved hands fumbled it and it dropped.  As a reflex action I tried to catch it but instead batted in nicely over the edge of the bridge 
Ah the phone call to the insurance company afterwards was highly amusing - the £100 excess payment was less so but the whole incident is so hilarious that is was almost worth it.

[Ian H]

Nice to see a few of you on the bit from the bridge and back again. I'd ridden up from Devon the day before, checking the Glastonbury 100 miler route, and rode back today doing the same.

[IanN]

I think I rode past IanN (was that you?) between Slimbridge and the bridge but you could see the weather turning and I decided I just wanted to get home as quick as possible.  Possibly not my best decision of the day to say hello and bimble along together.

No problem - I don't blame you!

Also, three people depend on me....

Good point. That's why I got rid of my motorbike.

The only (weather related) properly dangerous bit I thought was the cross winds from Malmesbury to Slimbridge. Newport was unpleasant but I had no close passes. I attributed this to my new, helmet mounted, flashing red light!   

[Bairdy]

Nice to see a few of you on the bit from the bridge and back again. I'd ridden up from Devon the day before, checking the Glastonbury 100 miler route, and rode back today doing the same.

The bridge bit and back again was the best bit!

Did you manage the 100 miler route without a snorkel?

[caerau]

Good god, I've just uploaded my ride to Strava and discovered that I did a whole load of near PB's on the last stretch when the conditions were at there worst (OK 2nd best, not quite PBs). http://www.strava.com/activities/112380106


2 Thought arise from this revelation.


1.  The weather was seriously more motivational than I gave it credit for 
2. Hmm, maybe this explains the sheer exhaustion of it all.


Must have been 'furious cycling' 

[Ian H]

Nice to see a few of you on the bit from the bridge and back again. I'd ridden up from Devon the day before, checking the Glastonbury 100 miler route, and rode back today doing the same.

The bridge bit and back again was the best bit!

Did you manage the 100 miler route without a snorkel?

A surprising amount of the return section.

[Grill]

It didn't work out so well for me..

I left mine in Bristol a little after 4am to ride to the start. IT was actually quite nice in the morning and the Severn Bridge wasn't too bad on the way over to Wales. Things all went a bit pear-shaped when I got to the start at 7am and no one was there... Because I didn't bother to read to look over the start point I had actually gone to Coryton instead of Cardiff Gate. Oops. By the time I got to the actual starting point it was 7:30 and everyone was long gone. Then in a moment of madness I retraced my route back to Whitchurch (I actually have no idea why I did this) and by the time I was back on Newport Road it was 8am and I was over 60 miles deep. I took the route via the Newport Flats instead of the A48 and decided to pack it in crossing the Severn (leaning 30 degrees into the wind was draining and from there I couldn't be bothered).

Still ended up being a 110 mile ride and it was nice to get home by 11am, but feel a bit silly as this isn't the first time I've screwed up the start point. I'll ride the Malmesbury portion this evening to see what I missed.

[caerau]

What you missed was all hell letting loose on the final section.  Be thankful you packed.

[rabbit]

Rabbit, I was in a red Altura night-vision top if that helps.  I recall you saying you have a van, I wonder if it was you who allowed me to lean my bike against it at the beginning when I though it might be where the Brevet cards were coming from?  If so I'll say hello properly next time.

Yup, that was indeed moi! 

Granted you can learn to ride in headwinds and cross winds, and I'm always watching for gateways and getting my 'lean into it' going in advance....... Also you can see gusts by watching branches, and other riders, and also watching water on road surfaces, BUT if you're light and small and you don't have clues like I just mentioned, or it is a new gust from nowhere, you go sideways no matter how good you are.

^wot he says

If you want a laugh Rabbit - on my very first ever 100 mile ride I undertook pretty much what we did yesterday - Cardiff to Bristol and back on (I think) 29th December 2012.  As it was my first time cycling across the Severn Bridge I decided to get the old phone out to take a picture.  Except it was wet, windy and miserable.  As I retrieved my phone from my rear pocket my wet gloved hands fumbled it and it dropped.  As a reflex action I tried to catch it but instead batted in nicely over the edge of the bridge 
Ah the phone call to the insurance company afterwards was highly amusing - the £100 excess payment was less so but the whole incident is so hilarious that is was almost worth it.

Things all went a bit pear-shaped when I got to the start at 7am and no one was there... Because I didn't bother to read to look over the start point I had actually gone to Coryton instead of Cardiff Gate. Oops.

Oh that is some 2 x EPICFAIL right there ^   

(I only grin as these kind of things happen to me far too often sssshhhh)

Oh yes, I forgot to mention in my bit about coping with winds that it is extremely helpful if you have at some time in the past acquired a severe brain injury    

 

[caerau]

Well pleased to meet you then Rabbit     See you at the carpark in Oxford for the Dean then


FYI I think Mikey won't mind me saying, he had a bad - very bad - collision with a coach some years ago - that I hope explains his comment a little.

[Grill]

Did the section east of the Severn last night. Nice route. I didn't realise that it's also part of Cake Audax.