Music for your funeral

[cygnet]

I wondered why it sounded familiar.

Then I wondered why I'd watched Snatch.

Then I googled it and realised it was probably for Pitts comedy accent.

Then I wondered why a thug from Essex? was talking about  200lbs. 14st does not sound like a big BIG man (or woman)

[citoyen]

On IanDG's former island, all non-residents are cremated in a wicker coffin.  Of sorts.

Something along those lines did cross my mind at the funeral, I must admit.

[Karla]

In - The Passion of Lovers or Bela Lugosi’s Dead

I'm tempted to rename myself Bela Lugosi just for the funeral lolz.

[andrewc]

I’m concerned at the consideration you’ve given to it.

Torsos are really difficult 

Not with the correct mortuary tools.

It's the spray and splatter that is the problem.

Poor technique Roger.  Just buy a 2nd hand chest freezer & shove the body in that for a day.  Then when you come to hack it up there is far less mess & smell.  The skilled artisan will have some small polystyrene trays & a roll of clingfilm & price tags to hand, to aid with disposal via the local craft butcher

[rr]

We asked (as per her wishes) for a cardboard coffin for my mother, for cremation. She didn't want us spending unneccesarily on the funeral.  It would have been more expensive than a veneered chipboard one. We got some BS about approvals for incineration, I think it was gouging the cost / environmentally conscious.

I once inspected this place https://www.greenfieldcoffins.co.uk
Real feats of cardboard engineering, rather than simple boxes. Rather like the buy it plain and get the grandchildren to paint it option—if I had grandchildren.
Visit was punctuated with slightly surreal phone calls, "yes, you can pick your mum up from the hospital morgue and put her in your estate car…"

Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk

[Mr Larrington]

On IanDG's former island, all non-residents are cremated in a wicker coffin.  Of sorts.

Cycling’s famous Richard Ballantine actually was cremated in a wicker coffin, in north London.

[Jaded]

Not musical at all, but the question in my mind is whether they cremate you in that overpriced coffin or whip you out of it and return it to the undertaker for resale.  "Only one owner, old bloke who only used it once. It's still got that new-coffin smell."

I’m glad I’m not the only one who has had this thought. Coffins are a phenomenal waste of money. It’s a major racket.

My wife’s cousin was cremated in a wicker coffin. That makes a lot more sense to me. It was still ridiculously expensive for what it is though.

On IanDG's former island, all non-residents are cremated in a wicker coffin.  Of sorts.

    

All burial, Presbyterian religion prohibits cremation. No crematorium on the island.

Ah, that explains what they put in the power station.

[robgul]

In no particular order:

Jerusalem
Whiter Shade of Pale
Simon & Garfunkel (almost anything as long as it's both of them*)


* back in the early 90s my wife got tickets for Paul Simon at the NEC . . . . I remain disappointed that Art didn't show up 

[MikeFromLFE]

Simon & Garfunkel (almost anything as long as it's both of them*)

Despite thinking long & hard about this topic they are the only musicians to definitely enter the list - probably Homeward Bound but maybe America.

[rogerzilla]

Ah bugger, now you've made me think about Take The Long Way Home by Supertramp.

[coops456]

Cremation, humanist celebrant, no religious malarkey. At the moment it's:
In: Wings of a Dove - Madness. And/or Mr Blue Sky - ELO
During: One Day Like This - Elbow
Out: Love Is In The Air - John Paul Young

My (89 year-old) ma has planned her (church+crem) funeral in detail and - regardless of the time of year - hath decreed that Eartha Kitt's Santa Baby must be the finishing touch 

[Redlight]

I don't intend topping myself, but a few choices if I go doolally:Hanging Around by the Stranglers; Shotgun by George Ezra; Drowning in Berlin by The Mobiles.

A friend of mine who did end his own life left instructions that Highway To Hell be played at his memorial (he also specified no funeral). I still don't know if he was being ironic.

[davelodwig]

Eulogy by Frank Turner,

Not everybody's gets to be an astronaut,
Not everyone is born to be a king.
Not everyone can be, Freddie Mercury; But everyone can raise a glass and sing.
Now I've never been a perfect person.
And I haven't done what mum and dad had dreamed.
but on the day I die,
They'll say at least he fucking tried,
and that's the only eulogy I need, that's the only eulogy I need.

Land of my fathers (In welsh, sung by Bryn Terfel if you don't mind)
Something folky, not really decided.

[Cudzoziemiec]

A fictional funeral of a fearsome aunt, mainspring of a Toronto church>

The opening hymn is "Jesus Christ is risen today". Followed by a Bible reading:

"How much she hath glorified herself and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow. And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament for her, when they shall see the smoke of her burning.

"Therefore shall her plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire; for strong is the Lord God who judgeth her."*

And the final hymn is "Away in a Manger".

*Revelations 18:7

[hellymedic]

On IanDG's former island, all non-residents are cremated in a wicker coffin.  Of sorts.

Cycling’s famous Richard Ballantine actually was cremated in a wicker coffin, in north London.

We know cos we were there...

[Wowbagger]

Not musical at all, but the question in my mind is whether they cremate you in that overpriced coffin or whip you out of it and return it to the undertaker for resale.  "Only one owner, old bloke who only used it once. It's still got that new-coffin smell."

I’m glad I’m not the only one who has had this thought. Coffins are a phenomenal waste of money. It’s a major racket.

My wife’s cousin was cremated in a wicker coffin. That makes a lot more sense to me. It was still ridiculously expensive for what it is though.

On IanDG's former island, all non-residents are cremated in a wicker coffin.  Of sorts.

    

All burial, Presbyterian religion prohibits cremation. No crematorium on the island.

Ah, that explains what they put in the power station.

Just be careful if you are called Pete.

[Mr Larrington]

On IanDG's former island, all non-residents are cremated in a wicker coffin.  Of sorts.

Cycling’s famous Richard Ballantine actually was cremated in a wicker coffin, in north London.

We know cos we were there...

So was I…

[Andy W]

Silence is Golden, by The Tremelos

[Cudzoziemiec]

'Another One Bites The Dust' funeral flashmob.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-bristol-64223053

[Feanor]

I'm making a fairly ham-fisted effort of it on a keyboard here right now (in fairness, it's quite hard!), but I'd like to nominate:

Vangelis: Memories of Green

It's one of the love themes in Bladerunner.

[L CC]

As I don’t want anyone wasting money on a funeral for me, I have no opinion on music for the same. I’m advocating direct disposal, as an alternative to just bunging my body in the wheelie bin which would be my preferred option.

I did, however, find some amusement at the idea of having the Thunderbirds theme being played as the curtains opened and the coffin withdrawn.

Perhaps Mrs Beardy could talk to Clarkes

[Cudzoziemiec]

Are Clarkes the people who make Soylent Green?

[Cudzoziemiec]

Maybe this one would be appropriate. Especially if I die of cancer.
https://youtu.be/9r8aycpHmY0

[CrazyEnglishTriathlete]

Initial Procession: National Shite Day by Half Man Half Biscuit
Assuming it's a cremation: Hot, Hot, Hot! by Buster Poindexter
Exit music: Don't Leave Me This Way by the Communards

I don't intend topping myself, but a few choices if I go doolally:Hanging Around by the Stranglers; Shotgun by George Ezra; Drowning in Berlin by The Mobiles.

You missed out Jump! by Van Halen

Also Poison by Motörhead.

If I had a Motorhead song, it would probably be "Killed by Death"

My sense of irony thinks "The only way is up"  by Yazz

[Pedal Castro]

A juke box and people can play whatever they want.

Perfect!

I am currently organising my uncle's funeral and he had a juke box in his front room for a while.  Maybe a fruit machine too as he worked for Bell Fruit for many many years.