Cocaine Bear

[rogerzilla]

https://twitter.com/cocainebear/status/1598013839202693120?s=20&t=XgLu1E7kdryhYb3VyN0hlw

This is possibly the worst idea for a film since Snakes On A Plane.  Like Snakes On A Plane, it will make a mint.

[T42]

Duly added to watchlist. Can't be worse that Cujo.

[Pingu]

Is it ian's biopic?

[spesh]

Is it ian's biopic?

Not really, no. I'd read about this a couple of days ago, and it's (rather loosely) based on the coda to a true story involving an ex-narcotics-cop turned lawyer named Andrew Thornton II who'd got into arms and drugs smuggling.

(click to show/hide)

On September 11, 1985, while on a smuggling run from Colombia, Thornton and a partner jumped from his auto-piloted Cessna 404, after dumping packages of cocaine off near Blairsville, Georgia, US.[4] Thornton became caught in his parachute and ended up in a free fall to the ground. His body was found in the driveway of Knoxville, Tennessee resident Fred Myers.[5] The plane crashed over 60 mi (97 km) away in Hayesville, North Carolina.[6] At the time of his death Thornton was wearing a bulletproof vest and Gucci loafers, and in possession of night vision goggles, a green army duffel bag containing approximately 35 kilograms (75 lbs.) of cocaine valued at $15 million, $4,500 in cash, six 0.1 oz (2.8 g) gold Krugerrands, knives, and two pistols.[7] Three months later, a dead black bear, that had apparently overdosed on cocaine dropped by Thornton, was found in the Chattahoochee National Forest

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_C._Thornton_II#Death

The bear was stuffed and is on display in the Lexington store of the Kentucky for Kentucky company, an outift dedicated to promoting the "Commonwealth of Kentucky"

https://kyforky.com/collections/cocaine-bear

[rogerzilla]

Let's be honest, a film about a bear absolutely ripped to the tits on Tory sherbert can't be all that bad.

[spesh]

From reading a Washington Post archive report on Thornton's funeral, they could have made biopic or a miniseries about his life. He was a bit of a "character".

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1985/10/20/drew-thorntons-last-adventure/982df601-7c8c-4955-a09c-b6d1f3b0a426/

His demise reminds me about the D.B. Cooper story - the guy who parachuted out the rear door of a hijacked 727 with $200,000 ransom money, never to be seen again...

https://www.fbi.gov/history/famous-cases/db-cooper-hijacking

[Cudzoziemiec]

You mean that DB Cooper was reincarnated as his spirit animal, a black bear, and so when he found the cocaine, the great loop was looped. Better than honey if you like shit in the woods.

[spesh]

Well, that's an interpretation...

[spesh]

Let's be honest, a film about a bear absolutely ripped to the tits on Tory sherbert can't be all that bad.

More horror movie potential than the other real-life story I've just remembered, which was brown bears at the Kronotsky Nature Reserve in Siberia getting high on petrol and kerosene fumes from discarded fuel drums.

https://www.aviationbusinessme.com/airlines/business/content-326838
https://i.redd.it/mrwu6b6odh021.png

[ElyDave]

There was a recent story about a bear getting high on this particular type of hallucinogenic honey, sat in the back of pickup completely off its face

[spesh]

There was a recent story about a bear getting high on this particular type of hallucinogenic honey, sat in the back of pickup completely off its face

Really? 

<tappity tappity>

Whale oil beef...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/aug/11/high-on-mad-honey-intoxicated-brown-bear-cub-rescued-in-turkey
https://news.sky.com/video/mad-honey-ingesting-bear-released-after-recovering-from-ingesting-natural-hallucinogen-12674390

This puts Winnie the Pooh's love of hunny in a whole new light... 

[spesh]

It's only a matter of time before someone reboots The Jungle Book, with Baloo on acid, tripping balls to some banging Goa trance...

[rogerzilla]

From Twitter

We need cocaine bear to kickstart a franchise. Weed chimp, crack crocodile, meth hippo and for the grand finale a crossover with Jurassic Park: LSD rex.

[spesh]

From Twitter

We need cocaine bear to kickstart a franchise. Weed chimp, crack crocodile, meth hippo and for the grand finale a crossover with Jurassic Park: LSD rex.

They must have hacked into the Russian MoD and happened upon the next batch of "uKrAiNiAn BiOlOgIcAl WaRfArE lAbS mAnAgEd bY hUnTeR bIdEn" propaganda material for Comical Igor to embarrass himself with. 

[Hot Flatus]

[rogerzilla]

Peru...it all makes sense now

[Mr Larrington]

The Met is very interested in the contents of that suitcase.  No wonder the like of Heinrich Hamster and disgraced former International Development Secretary Piggi Patel want to deport him.

[rogerzilla]

Anyone seen it?  The reviews are surprisingly good.  Mark Kermode says it's better than Snakes On A Plane.

[Mr Larrington]

What about “Ferrets On A Train”?

[Cudzoziemiec]

That was the Golden Age of Zillywood.

[mrcharly-YHT]

How about 'Cats on Crack'?

Oh, wait, that would just look like cats.

[Karla]

There was a recent story about a bear getting high on this particular type of hallucinogenic honey, sat in the back of pickup completely off its face

I think you want Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

It's turning out to be quite the year for bear-based slasher films.

[rogerzilla]

Has ian chucked it all in to become a tidy-haired film producer?  It seems so.

[ian]

It's conceptual up-my-alley, so to speak, and know my way around those woods, but I can't take credit. Also, it doesn't feature Tigger, as he's apparently still under copyright.

I'm excited that Bambi: The Reckoning and Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmare might be in development.

[spesh]

Some did a mash-up of Beatrix Potter and Sven Hassel for the LOLs a few years back.

The time has surely come for Peter Rabbit: Tank Killer to hit the big screen...