I'm away for two weeks and I didn't set the PVR. Damn.I am recording the highlights - I am sure something can be arranged....
I live 25km from Düsseldorf but won't be going tomorrow- too crowded!Was in Orsoy last week - even closer... :)
I cycle through there on occasion for a different Rhein crossingI live 25km from Düsseldorf but won't be going tomorrow- too crowded!Was in Orsoy last week - even closer... :)
Omnes: | GET ON WITH IT!!1! |
N Boulting: | O hai! I am TV’s *** Boulting and I am made ov teh win! |
SD Millar: | O hai! I am TV’s Super D Millar and I, also, am made ov teh win! |
N Boulting: | No hat today, eh, Super D? And no pelicans, either! |
SD Millar: | No. No, there are not. Good weather 4 teh ducks, though, lol and, indeed, roffle! |
A Duck: | Actually, Super D Millar, we anatidae like nothing better than a nice sunny day. Except bread, natch. Got any bread? |
SD Millar: | No. No, I haz not. |
A Duck: | DIAF, Super D Millar! (Exit, pursued by a cocker spaniel) |
N Boulting: | Yay! Here iz TV’s M Rendall, Knower ov Stuffs! Plz 2 tell us, M Rendall, what u know ov teh course and things? |
M Rendall: | Nix rien nul y naff-all! Je am gang ti la Kneipe! (Exit, shaped like an umbrella) |
Enter TV’s C Boardmen | |
EC Boardman: | O hai! I am TV’s Evil C Boardman and I am teh embodiment ov pure wickedness, badditude and vole-bothering! Right, I’m off! Iz teh small furry animal out there with mi naem on it. Bai! (Exit, pursued by TV’s Nice C Boardman) |
N Boulting: | Lucky escape there, eh, kids! |
Some time later… | |
PT Voeckler: | O hai! Je suis Petit Tommy Voeckler de la télévision, et je suis fabriqué de la victoire! Toutes les belles dames de la France m’aimeront encore plus, parce que je serai dans un opéra du savon. Il s’agit de la famille, n’est-ce pas? J’ai pris des leçons de Danny Dyer de la télévision!1 |
Quite a lot later… | |
S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel: | O hai! I am S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel and although I am made ov teh win, having been teh time-trial champion ov France many times, I am just here 4 joke comedy purposes today! |
A Valverde: | Piss! That hurts! |
G Thomas: | O hai! I am no longer C Froome but I am still made ov teh win! Plz 2 buck ur ideas up, u lot! They call this teh “hot seat” but I iz bloody freezing and want 2 go 2 teh pub! |
T Martin: | Arse! |
M Kitteh: | O hai! I am M Kitteh and I am made ov teh win! Also, miaow! Not a bad time-trial 4 a sprinter, eh? Plz 2 give mi teh fish! |
N Quintana: | O hai! Mi name iz N Quintana. U killed mi father. Prepare 2 die! Oh. Bollocks! |
C Froome: | O hai clouds oh hai sky team bus o hai stem o bugger! |
G Thomas: | Yay! Pwnage! I can haz shinyjumper! |
Much, much later… | |
SD Millar: | ***? |
N Boulting: | Yes, Super D? |
SD Millar: | U never did tell mi what iz teh capital ov Canada! |
CP Sagan: | Crazy!!1! |
w00t! P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® iz back.P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nz is sponsored by Witchfinder General. For all your
What's the general spoiler status of this thread?
Half of the riders in the top 8 today were Team Sky riders.
Half of the riders in the top 8 today were Team Sky riders.
I imagine you're absolutely delighted by this!
No french telly in spite of being in Brittany. :'(
J Durand: | That's plucky J Durand 2 u, laddie! |
N Boulting: | O hai! TV’s *** Boulting here! Blah! |
SD Millar: | O hai! TV’s Super D Millar reporting 4 duty. What tiem’s lunch, ***? |
N Boulting: | L8er, Super D. First we have 2 talk inanely about not much 4 an hour. Look, see, they have stopped teh pelican 4 teh anthems. We’ll show our RISPEK by cutting to teh adverts! |
Grams: Orchestra playing Beethoven | |
N Farage: | Stop that! STOP THAT!!1! We don’t have to listen 2 that rubbish any more! |
Omnes: | Get tae fck, u grubby little crypto-fascist jelly baby! |
Exit N Farage, pursued by TV’s G Miller, with an axe | |
N Boulting: | See, a futile break has formed! |
SD Millar: | Yes. Yes, it has. Still, it will be a stage 4 teh sprinters because I, TV’s Super D Millar said so. Also, since teh last Tour de France I haz heard ov Game Theory. |
Y Offredo: | O hai! I am Y Offredo and I am fukn’ nails, me! C me larrf @ ur baseball bat and StanleyTM knife tomfoolery! Let me taek teh spottyjumper or I will kill u utterly to DETH! |
T Phinney: | O hai! I am T Phinney and I am made ov teh Win! Not only iz mi Dad bigger than urs, mi Mum iz bigger than ur Dad! C me get teh spottyjumper! |
Y Offredo: | Arse! U git, T Phinney! |
T Boudat: | Ur Mum!!1! |
Y Offredo: | Fukn watch it, u gr8 ponce! |
Later… | |
N Boulting: | Because me and TV’s SD Millar are made ov teh Win, we haz negotiated a similar contract 2 teh one TV’s Evil C Boardman had 4 teh Olympics, so we iz off 4 lunch! |
SD Millar: | Yay! Caviar & quails’ eggs, turbot au beurre blanc et fruits de la forêt here I come! Let’s go, ***! |
N Boulting: | Not forgetting teh Puligny-Montrachet, Super D! Meanwhile, here are M Smith and TG Hart, a Ginsters pasty and a bottle of Pschitt… |
M Smith: | O hai! I am. TV’s M. Smith and. I am. Made ov. Teh Win! |
Omnes: | U were better in Doctor Wossname, m8! |
TG Hart: | O hai! I am TG Hart and I would liek 2 be TV’s TG Hart. Better than riding a bloody bike all day, even without teh expense account lunches! |
Omnes: | Not. A. Chance. |
Later… | |
TD Gendt: | O hai! I am TD Gendt and I am made ov teh Win! Tiem 2 chase down teh futile break! |
T Peloton: | Pack it in, u sillybollocks! |
N Boulting: | The race needs a reboot. |
Omnes: | O RLY, ***? Have u tried switching it off and on again lol? |
E ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]ez: | O hai! I am E ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]ez and I, although tipped as a potential GC contender, had a piss-awful prologue and have therefore just turned up 4 teh joke comedy purposes! |
Quite a lot later… | |
N Boulting: | Tell teh boys and girls about teh Citadel de Jülich, Super D! |
SD Millar: | (Improvising desperately) Er, it was, um, built in teh fifteenth century by Bobby Julich, as somewhere to keep teh lawnmower, er… |
B Dickinson: | O hai! I am B Dickinson, poet, airline pilot, bon viveur, soldier of fortune and winner ov teh mrs joyful prize 4 rafia work! Did I just hear a cowbell? |
SD Millar: | w00t! Saved by teh (cow)bell! |
Omnes: | Ding-DONG!!1! |
C Smash: | Do not bother 2 ask, B Dickinson, u already know teh answer! |
Very later… | |
N Boulting: | Look! Look, it is raining! |
SD Millar: | Yes. Yes, it is. Here is TV’s M Rendall and a Team $ky minion. |
M Rendall: | O hāi! Myn naem ß`appęlle M Rendałł del diståscope øg mi blong Sieg Heil! Was haz ù im di wee baggo? Fefefefe Čhris Ŵaddle. |
T$ Minion: | Nuzzing mush. Cloze, coke, shooz, weed, drinkies, yellow bentines, hatses, covfefe, arse balm, Astana BeanzTM. Uzhul Stuffs. |
SD Brailsford: | Cut! CUT, FFS!!1! |
FX: Advertising-announcements | |
A Tellyman: | Buy! Buy an Audi! Shopping is freedom! Buy peanuts! Debt is power! Buy a sofa! Buy! Buy! |
Omnes: | Look, look!!1! Teh Watchfinder-General haz turned his biek umop-ap!sdn!!1! Fukn’ heathen! |
Meanwhile… | |
C Froome: | O hai! I am C Froome and I am made of… Arse! |
R Bardet: | O hai! I am R Bardet and I… Piss! O hai, C Froome! Fancy meeting u here! |
T Phinney: | Yay! Teh spottyjumper! Now for a S Partacus-stylee assault on teh shinyjumper! |
Y Offredo: | U & whose army, T Phinney? Have a go if u think ur hard enuff! |
Finally… | |
J Bauer: | O hai! I am J Bauer and I am made ov teh Win! Previously on ‘24’… Oh. |
SD Millar: | Game Theory! |
T Peloton: | Gotcha! |
SD Millar: | Lucky break 4 mi l33t 4casting 5k1llz, eh, readers? Game Theory. |
M Kitteh: | Sprint, sprint, sprinteeeee! Yay! Pwnage! Also, miaow! Fish plz! |
A Greipel: | Piss! |
M Cavendish: | Arse! |
F Aru: | Wait… what!!1! If u hear me howling around your kitchen door, better not let me in! Oh. |
G Thomas: | Tomorrow is another day. |
J Alaphilippe: | Oi! That’s mi line! Also, RAAAWWWRRR!!1! |
CP Sagan: | Do I get to say ‘Crazy’ now? |
Omnes: | Shut up, CP Sagan!!1! |
No french telly in spite of being in Brittany. :'(
This works for me: http://sport.francetvinfo.fr/tour-de-france/direct
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:
- That is an excellent Matt Ren'dell impression.
- Does Geraint's "Carer" really need 13 bottles of water for his post-race recovery??
- When/why did Sky abolish Soigneurs and hire carers? (Probably not becuse I think it's a funny name).
I'm surprised that some unheard of watch company has main sponsorship od itv4 coverage. Doesn't say a lot for perceived viewing figures
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:Some one at Sky has been reading this? (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=103773.0)
- When/why did Sky abolish Soigneurs and hire carers? (Probably not becuse I think it's a funny name).
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:
...
- Apparently the various fractures suffered by the prologue riders were "just part of bikeracing", and its "impossible to protect 14km of roads." FFS - there were maybe 8 fast corners. 2 gym-mats rolled-up at the exit of each would have reduced the risk of serious injury by about 70%. A few quid and a couple of man-hours would have been enough to prevent just about *every* injury. HOW many million Euro did Dusseldorf pay for the race??
- Is Froome C really the most news-worthy thing in the race at the mo?
- "Watchfinder" - who desnt hear that and immediately put "... General" after it?
- Apparently the various fractures suffered by the prologue riders were "just part of bikeracing", and its "impossible to protect 14km of roads." FFS - there were maybe 8 fast corners. 2 gym-mats rolled-up at the exit of each would have reduced the risk of serious injury by about 70%. A few quid and a couple of man-hours would have been enough to prevent just about *every* injury. HOW many million Euro did Dusseldorf pay for the race??
[...]
Two things:
1. Over 190 riders made it through that bend without falling off. These are hugely experienced riders who know how to ride safely in the wet. Gilbert and Porte both made comments in their post-race interviews about being cautious and living to fight another day. Surely there's too much at stake to be taking risks on a short opening TT? Froome did a recce of the course in the team car as it followed Kiryienka and it clearly paid off. His time may have been "unexciting" but it was exciting enough to give him a gap on all his main rivals. It's not like Valverde was unaware of the conditions or had any excuse not to know where the dangerous parts of the course were by the time he set off. His crash was entirely of his own making. It's possible that padding/hay bales on the bend might have mitigated his injuries but riders need to take some responsibility for their own safety. If you look at the video of Durbridge's crash, it's terrifying just how fast he was going into that bend. Insane.
2. Are you absolutely sure that the injuries were all caused by hitting the barrier rather than by hitting the road?
I am already thoroughly sick of the KP nuts ad.
If you are going to take a fussy elephant to a party, you should take your own bloody nuts with you. :demon:
Are there more adverts this year, or are they just a /lot/ more annoying (and that's from a family that only ever record the highlights and fast-forward through the ads)
Yebbut, shirley cushioning barriers, as provided in F1 (not that I watch it or am inviting too close a comparison) are there to provide a safer zone in certain areas should someone happen slide off, albeit a relatively infrequent occurrence. Vv did actually hit the barrier.
I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan :P
N Boulting: | O hai! TV’s *** Boulting here. U like mi SNO globe? |
SD Millar: | O hai, ***! I see ur SNO globe and raise u teh packet ov Fisherman’s Friends! Game theory! Who will launch teh futile break today, eh? |
N Boulting: | GV Avermaet. |
SD Millar: | Nope. |
N Boulting: | TD Gendt. PT Voeckler. |
SD Millar: | No. |
N Boulting: | Bill Brewer, Jan Stewer, Michael Matthews, Peter Gurney, Peter Davy, John Degenkolb, Dan'l Whiddon, Harry teh Hawk. |
SD Millar: | No. No, not them either. |
N Boulting: | That German bloke with teh apparent teeth? |
SD Millar: | We haz a winner! Lunch? |
N Boulting: | Lunch! Here are TV’s M Smith and not-TV’s M McNally 2 entertain u while Super D and I stuff our faces with yummy nosh! |
M Smith: | Ta, Super D. I am joined. By M McNally. Who is a. Scouser. |
M McNally: | Greetings and werl dey do dere dough don’t dey! |
M Smith: | What did he. Just say? |
M McNally: | Calm down calm down our Mattie eh! |
M Smith: | Y Offredo hard. Or what? |
M McNally: | Werl, dat’s just ‘ow dey say “’ello” in Toxteth, eh, eh! |
M Smith: | What did he. Just say? |
CD Coulthard: | Och aye teh noo, muthafukkas! TV’s Crazy D Coulthard here. Jus’ wanna say “flat through Eau Rouge”, bruv! RISPEK and, indeed, Word, innit! |
M Smith: | What did he. Just say? |
CP Sagan: | This ^^^^. |
Post-lunch… | |
N Boulting: | Tell us about teh Monks ov Stavelot, Super D! |
SD Millar: | (Improvising desperately) They had a hit in 1979 with “Nice Legs, Shame About Teh Face”. Big in Canada1. Is it Halifax? |
N Boulting: | No. No, they did not. And no, it isn’t Halifax either. |
SD Millar: | Arse! |
After coffee, mints and snifter ov Armagnac… | |
N Boulting: | …and teh second-highest point in Luxembourg. Sometimes I hate this job! |
SD Millar: | Cheer up, ***! Look, a metal chamber orchestra on a roundabout! |
D Tröll: | Metal chamber orchestra? That’s us, Dream Tröll, Leeds’ premier Metal Mayhem MerchantsTM, that is2! Endorsed by teh Labour Party3! Buy our record! |
N Farage: | If they start playing I’m going 2 write 2 my MEP! |
Omnes: | Piss off, expense-fiddling racist fist magnet!!1! |
After a nice cup ov tea and a sit down… | |
N Boulting: | …intermediate sprint! Tessa Pollitt! |
SD Millar: | Even I, like any fule, kno she played bass in Teh Slits, ***! |
N Boulting: | Soz. Easy mistake 2 make. Look, cows! |
SD Millar: | Game Theory! Hic! |
Later… | |
M Smith: | Your prediction 4. Teh podium in. Paris, M McNally? |
M McNally: | C Froome, |
J Birdsong: | I’m gonna make u love me! Oh, yes I will. Yes I will! |
M Smith: | Blimey I understood. That. |
Later… | |
N Brown: | O hai! I am N Brown and I am made ov teh Win! Teh spottyjumper will be mine all mine oh yes! |
N Politt: | O hai! I am N Politt, and not T Pollitt, and I am made ov slightly less Win. Arse! |
SD Millar: | …and Luxembourg has more castles per unit area than anywhere else in Europe. TV’s A Schleck told me! |
A Schleck: | He’s right, u know! |
Much later… | |
N Boulting: | And now TV’s M Rendall, polyglot cleverclogs. |
M Rendall: | Auch tellim Lúxembourgish bunnywunnies l’histõire ciclisšimo blong our Lucieñ ćlubski. Autogizmo! |
SD Millar: | That’s easy 4 u 2 say! |
Omnes: | So, not much happening, then? |
ML Maire: | No. No, there is not. |
Some time later… | |
TD Gendt: | O hai! I am TD Gendt and I am made ov teh Win! Wot u say teh couple ov hours ago, SD Millar, u grate ponce? |
SD Millar: | Teh pelican is a very big powerful cat! |
M Kitteh: | No, SD Millar. That is me. Also, miaow! |
SD Attenborough: | What did he just say? |
When SD Millar is through with his orgone accumulator… | |
TD Gendt: | Arse! |
SD Millar: | Game Theory, innit! |
N Boulting: | Reboot! See, I haz new word 2! |
Omnes: | And here’s a three-fingered salute 4 you, ***! |
L Calmejane: | O hai! I am L Calmejane and I am made ov teh Win! Make a joke about me having teh gurl’s names and I will kill u utterly 2 DETH! |
Omnes: | …teh meanest thing that he ever did was before he left, he went and named me "Lilian", lol! |
L Calmejane: | I warned u! I fukn’ warned u! Oh, I haz been caught, like a Treen in a disabled spaceship! Arse! |
N Boulting: | Quickstep have floored it roffle! |
Omnes: | That falls below teh minimum standard as laid down in ur contract., ***. U will not be paid 4 it. |
R Porte: | O g’day! I am R Porte and 4 once am demonstrating some Winnitude! Oh. |
GV Avermaet: | O hai! GV Avermaet here and in case u forgot I pwned teh Olympic Road Race! Oh. |
M Matthews: | O h… oh. |
CP Sagan: | What is pressure ha ha and, moreover, lol! I told u I was Crazy!!1! |
Now that was a finish and a half :)
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:
...
- Apparently the various fractures suffered by the prologue riders were "just part of bikeracing", and its "impossible to protect 14km of roads." FFS - there were maybe 8 fast corners. 2 gym-mats rolled-up at the exit of each would have reduced the risk of serious injury by about 70%. A few quid and a couple of man-hours would have been enough to prevent just about *every* injury. HOW many million Euro did Dusseldorf pay for the race??
Have a look at this discussion... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haLgLaKvAvM After Valverde crash, TDF must become safer
+1. For the cost of a few bales of hay and a heavier clean-up.
I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan :P
Ski goggles! What a wacky funster.
They are motocross goggles, not ski goggles.I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan :P
Ski goggles! What a wacky funster.
Ski goggles round your neck? Totally normal behaviour if you're Peter Sagan :P
They are motocross goggles, not ski goggles.I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan :P
Ski goggles! What a wacky funster.
Ski goggles round your neck? Totally normal behaviour if you're Peter Sagan :P
They are motocross goggles, not ski goggles.
He’s crazy alright, but in this instance he’s paid to be crazy (http://www.ride100percent.com/news/100percent-peter-sagan-join-forces/).
Bastard Sagan.
Cav got over the line, though.
Bastard Sagan.
Cav got over the line, though.
Just before the break, Gary Imlach said something about Sagan using choice language towards Greipel...
D Friebe: | O hai! I am TV’s D Friebe and I am made ov teh |
M Cavendish: | O hai! I am M Cavendish and, although made ov 100% pure Win, I am teh New! IMPROVED!!1! M Cavendish and am mellow about not pwning teh stage. Far out, man! |
G Imlach: | O hai! I am TV’s G Imlach and know 0 less than zero about teh Château de Preisch. Here is 1 ov TV’s C Boardmen 2 tell u Stuffs! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! It is I, TV’s Nice C Boardman! A Greipel. M Cavendish. M Kitteh. (Improvises desperately) CP Sagan inna welder’s mask anna gimp suit! Wind! |
N Boulting: | O hai! Schengen! Bit ov political Stuffs there, Mrs Thatch, mi name’s TV’s B Elton, goodnight! |
N Farage: | Stop that! STOP THAT!!1! We’ve taken back control, remember! U fascist, communist wreckers should all be shot! |
Omnes: | Sod off, u one-issue capitalist running dog! Teh East is Red! |
SD Millar: | Today I are talking mostly about ancient history. Bradley Wiggins. |
GV Keirhardie: | O hai! I am GV Keirhardie! 1 hundred and twenty-five years ago today mi grate-grandfather was elected 2 Parliament1. Where TF is everyone? |
N Boulting: | Super D and I are still here, but not 4 long. Lunch beckoneth! |
Grams: WHOOOOOOSH! | |
M Smith: | O hai today I. Am joined by K. House why is C. P Sagan so made. Ov teh Win? |
Omnes: | K House? Who he? |
K House: | O hai! I am K House. I should be spending teh Fourth ov July setting off fireworks, drinking Jack and getting maudlin about Old Glory2, not sitting in a cupboard in That London with a northern Australopethicus, if such a thing is not an oxymoron3. CP Sagan? He’s crazy! |
Omnes: | U were better when u were played by TV’s H Laurie! |
GV Keirhardie: | Where TF is everyone? |
M Smith: | Thank u K House. And now a live. Update from R Hammond. No, teh other R. Hammond. |
R Hammond: | Mmfmmmfpmmpppppmpmmfffmmmfp mfpmpppmfmffmmfppfpfmfmpmpppff pfmppfpffpmp pfmmffmpp mfpmmmfmp ppfppmpppmfffmmmfpmmmppmmmppmfmppfmm pmfppfpppmfm fmpmpppffppm mmfmmmpff pfmmmmpffpmp! 4 sure! |
M Smith: | Thank u 4 ur. Fascinating insight there R. Hammond what did he. Just say? |
GV Keirhardie: | Where TF is everyone? |
A good deal later… | |
K House: | …and I saw a giraffe! |
M Smith: | Sometimes I hate this. Job! |
K House: | Big Lebowski! |
GV Keirhardie: | Where TF is everyone? |
Omnes: | Bridge, bridge!!1! |
C Lion: | w00t! |
M Smith: | Look, see, a field ov wheat! |
T Mayhemhem: | w00t! By teh Power ov Mayskull!!1! |
A Loathesome: | Stop that! STOP THAT!!1! U spud-hoarding rabble! Oh, if only there was a war on! I could have u unpatriotic twat batons shot! |
After teh Party Political Broadcast… | |
GV Keirhardie: | Where TF is everyone? |
TD Gendt: | Behind u! |
SD Millar: | Game Theory! Hic! |
N Boulting: | Semi-permeable membrane! |
GV Keirhardie: | Where TF is everyone? |
N Boulting: | And now Jackanory, with N Farage’s worst nightmare, TV’s M Rendall. |
M Rendall: | Ańćestœr sinkt rėgênbogën nambæwań pikinini Rik vān Lòóy jai guru ðeva om! Isoglass Garden Wood! |
After everyone’s afternoon nap4… | |
GV Keirhardie: | Where TF is everyone? |
N Boulting: | Look! A funny sheeps! Ignorance is bliss! |
A Sheep: | I’ll have u know, ***, that I haz a Ph.D in Quantum Chromodynamics and yet u stereotype me as a mindless ovine who doesn’t even know he’s been painted wif teh spottyjumper! Your all gay! |
N Boulting: | Did u spike mi afternoon covfefe, Super D? |
In due course… | |
SD Millar: | (Indicates pogoing Frenchmen with punk rock electric guitars) Oi, oi! What’s goin’ on ‘ere? |
P Frenchmen: | (2 teh approximate tune ov “Seven Nation Army”) Oh, Jeremy Corbyn! |
C Richard: | If this was Wmbldn I could have u shot! |
J White: | I didn’t get paid 4 that, y’know! |
GV Keirhardie: | Where TF is everyone? |
Finally… | |
N Boulting: | Teh sprinters’ teams are getting their ducks in a row. |
A Duck: | Eff off, ***! Got any bread? |
N Boulting: | Reboot! |
GV Keirhardie: | What kept u? |
CP Sagan: | We stopped 4 teh three-course lunch. Om nom nom nom crazy! |
M Kitteh: | I had fish! Also, miaow! |
SD Millar: | Firepower! Horsepower! Horses on fire! Findus lasagne! |
M Kitteh: | WTF? And not miaow at all. |
G Thomas: | WTF? |
M Cavendish: | WTF? |
CP Sagan: | (Uncharacteristic reticence) |
A Demare: | O hai! Merci, bonne chance et vive la France! |
Omnes: | So, typical flat stage then? |
ML Maire: | Yes. Yes, it was. Well, up 2 teh last ten seconds anyway. |
Opens up the Green jersey competition somewhat. I'm not even sure I know who the likely contenders will be, given Sagan was such a dead cert.
Roger Hammond @rog10: Causes a big crash at 1.5 to go. elbows elbows fellow competitor in the head 300 meters...can only result in one decision. #Goodbyehttps://twitter.com/rog10/status/882275129400676352
Todays winner, nearly takes out someone else when he zigzags around.
The slowmo and the overhead shot actually make it look really clear and damning. I take back what I said before. In the overhead shot Sagan's elbow looks to make contact with Cav's jaw and it is a really deliberate shove, if not a blow.
https://u.nya.is/jdkpym.mp4
Video of first crash that Sagan was near. To me it looks like someone drifted over into him but he stayed up as he is stronger and better at handling his bike.
Cavendish was an idiot to expect Sagan to just move over and give him enough room to get past along the barriers.
He wasn't trying to fling him into the barriers, he was trying to impede him. End result was flinging him into the barriers. Correct decision, nevertheless.
Perhaps they should put a lot of parallel lines down the finish straight and DQ everybody who crosses a line? Going from behind for a gap that doesn't exist is always going to put you into the barriers.
Meanwhile, Démare swerves in front of Bouhanni, impeding the latter. Not much comment about that, I notice..
What did Boardman say? I only get French commentary over here.
Perhaps they should put a lot of parallel lines down the finish straight and DQ everybody who crosses a line? Going from behind for a gap that doesn't exist is always going to put you into the barriers.
(https://medias.lequipe.fr/img-photo-jpg/le-coup-de-coude-de-peter-sagan-a-cavendish/1500000000833133/0-665-0-70/f6bee.jpg)
That's big elbow! Right decision IMO.
I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.
I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.
I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.
While discussing the matter might help while away the evening, the fact is no matter what folk on YACF may think or believe, the Jury has decided, with the benefit of recorded evidence, that the actions of Sagan were sufficient to warrant a DQ. Cav appears to believe Sagan's elbow action was unnecessary and wishes to speak to him on the matter. Sagan is out and very likely Cav will be out which, as Chris S, has posted, makes the TdF less of a spectacle.
Yeah I think we all realise that the race jury probably isn't busy checking Yacf to see what they should have done.
The cynic in me would like to point out that two significant entrants in the green jersey contest are out of the way and a Frenchman got a stage win and lots of points
Their loss! ;)I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.
While discussing the matter might help while away the evening, the fact is no matter what folk on YACF may think or believe, the Jury has decided, with the benefit of recorded evidence, that the actions of Sagan were sufficient to warrant a DQ. Cav appears to believe Sagan's elbow action was unnecessary and wishes to speak to him on the matter. Sagan is out and very likely Cav will be out which, as Chris S, has posted, makes the TdF less of a spectacle.
Yeah I think we all realise that the race jury probably isn't busy checking Yacf to see what they should have done.
https://streamable.com/j7gqb
When I first saw the overhead shot, the elbow looked extremely blatant and I agreed with the decision, but this makes it a lot more muddled. A DQ is too harsh.
There are two moves of Sagan's elbow. The first (smaller one) may be involuntary balancing, but the second (larger) is deliberate blocking. Sagan in an asshole - a talented cyclist but an asshole (as witnessed by his podium groping).
The judges have been braver than the pundits (including Boardman) who I think are giving him the benefit of the doubt because their job depends partly on having a working relationship with the world's best=paid cyclist.
Plenty of time now for Sagan to discuss new kitchen with team sponsor.Well I hope Eurosport pull those fatuous adverts.
There are two moves of Sagan's elbow. The first (smaller one) may be involuntary balancing, but the second (larger) is deliberate blocking. Sagan in an asshole - a talented cyclist but an asshole (as witnessed by his podium groping).
The judges have been braver than the pundits (including Boardman) who I think are giving him the benefit of the doubt because their job depends partly on having a working relationship with the world's best=paid cyclist.
The larger elbow movement is after Cav is already going down and has nothing to do with Cav falling. The move across was clearly too much, but the elbow is not a factor at all...and hey, it's nothing that Cav himself wouldn't have done :p.
Said Demare needs to be punished too if decisions was made on consequences rather than direct action at the time.I don't have a problem with Demare. Switching across in front of someone who you've just overtaken, and who is therefore going slower than you are, seems OK to me, and fairly risk free, provided you know where your back wheel is. It has the advantage of putting anyone who's on your wheel in the wind.
The larger elbow movement is after Cav is already going down and has nothing to do with Cav falling. The move across was clearly too much, but the elbow is not a factor at all...and hey, it's nothing that Cav himself wouldn't have done :p.
Sagan can't possibly have known that Cav was going to crash in the timescale that it all happened, so the intent was to block him. Why jerk your elbow out otherwise? That's what matters - the intent.
Plenty of time now for Sagan to discuss new kitchen with team sponsor.Well I hope Eurosport pull those fatuous adverts.
..
Remarkably sanguine reaction from the New! IMPROVED!!1! M Cavendish, all things considered. Cav v1.0 would have been using his one good arm to hurl toys in all directions.
https://streamable.com/j7gqb
When I first saw the overhead shot, the elbow looked extremely blatant and I agreed with the decision, but this makes it a lot more muddled. A DQ is too harsh.
Interesting vid. From where I'm sitting, for the duration of the [start of the] vid Cav is in a straight line and Sagan moves into him. The action has taken place before the "commentary" (Cav's head). It does look like the rest is all about Sagan staying up on the bike though. Difficult to measure the precise angle from my armchair, but I won't let that stop me.
(X Post with P Walsh)
..
Remarkably sanguine reaction from the New! IMPROVED!!1! M Cavendish, all things considered. Cav v1.0 would have been using his one good arm to hurl toys in all directions.
Yes, a good performance there, well impressed. Sagan could learn a thing or two about sportsmanship. They were doing 70km/h FFS. That elbow was as bad as an over-the-ball or sliding tackle in footie. Red card for deffo.
If the/an elbow didn't make contact, I wonder why Cav would keep saying in interview that he wanted to speak to PS personally about the "elbow" which he was 'confused about'..?
Are the commissaires from the UCI? With UCI written all over the world champions jersey, there's plenty of room for talk of conflict of interest if Sagan stayed.Interesting thought. I think that this decision says more about the commissaries than Sagan. Either -as you say- removing a source of conflict, or they are (trying) to say 'we is hardnow, don't mess with us, rulez is rulez'
If the/an elbow didn't make contact, I wonder why Cav would keep saying in interview that he wanted to speak to PS personally about the "elbow" which he was 'confused about'..?
I wonder why Cav didn't ask Sagan about the elbow when Sagan went over to apologise.
In my opinion, the elbow was deliberate. Peter Sagan, in retrospect, I'm certain he regretted it, but doesn't excuse the use of it. He might try to assuage his guilt by explaining how he found himself steering towards the right-hand side but, we've all found ourselves off balance on a bike, and have had to correct it by throwing our body around. However, young mister Sagan was upright, and the elbow was not used to correct an imbalance.
The judges acted correctly, as his action endangered others riders' lives.
Sorry, I omitted to add: "Fact!"
In my opinion, the elbow was deliberate. Peter Sagan, in retrospect, I'm certain he regretted it, but doesn't excuse the use of it. He might try to assuage his guilt by explaining how he found himself steering towards the right-hand side but, we've all found ourselves off balance on a bike, and have had to correct it by throwing our body around. However, young mister Sagan was upright, and the elbow was not used to correct an imbalance.
The judges acted correctly, as his action endangered others riders' lives.
Sorry, I omitted to add: "Fact!"
Cav's clearly on Demare's wheel
The cynic in me would like to point out that two significant entrants in the green jersey contest are out of the way and a Frenchman got a stage win and lots of points
The realist in me says that Cav was never a contender for the green jersey in this year's race.
No-one was a contender for the green jersey apart from CP Sagan, as long as he actually reached Paris.
I don't think there was any kind of conspiracy on the part of the Blazers, but I'm sure the murkier corners of the internet will be blaming it on a mashup of the Illuminati, MI5 and Erik Zabel before today's rollout.
I blame Adboujaparov.
Citters? Are you typing with your knuckles again!!?
Cav's clearly on Demare's wheel
Yes and no... A few moments before the crash, Cav was very close behind Demare, but it looked to me like Demare was pulling away from him. Never mind the slow motion replays, watching it live as it happened, it was clear that Cav was losing ground, and therefore out of the race even before the crash.
Now, I don't know how close you have to be at that speed for it to count as being 'on the wheel', nor how much of a gap there has to be before it's considered enough space for another rider to move into it, but it was apparently enough of a gap that Sagan didn't see him there when he started to jump across onto Demare's wheel.
As Cav and Sagan came together, there was a bit of a lean from Cav and an elbow out from Sagan. I didn't see any malice in it, just the usual sprinters' argy-bargy with riders fighting for position. Had they not been hard up against the barriers, it might not have ended so badly for Cav. (compare and contrast Bouhanni, who had space to his left to swerve into when Demare cut across him.)
That was my initial reaction when watching it live, and none of the slow motion replays or alternative camera angles have made me change my mind.
I think the DQ is harsh, but I'm glad it wasn't my decision to make - bit of a no-win situation for the jury with so many pundits, DS and riders having their say, all with conflicting opinions.The cynic in me would like to point out that two significant entrants in the green jersey contest are out of the way and a Frenchman got a stage win and lots of points
The realist in me says that Cav was never a contender for the green jersey in this year's race.
So far Mick Bennett, TV's C Boardmen, TV's Super D Millar and Bethany (7) have all agreed that chucking CP Sagan off the race completely was a bit harsh.
I think DQ was harsh when there was no penalty for Demare for what was a crazy move.
Probably coloured by the fact that there was a collision resulting in injury.
G Imlach: | O hai! TV’s G Imlach here with a twinkle in mi eye and a merry quip never far from mi lips! Big news on teh Tour de France is teh disqualibobificationism of CP Sagan after yesterday’s imbroglio! |
Omnes: | Didn’t she have a hit with “Torn”? |
G Imlach: | Silence, u quivering Ewoks! TV’s C Boardmen, what say u? |
EC Boardman: | O hai! I am TV’s Evil C Boardman and personally I think CP Sagan should have been boiled in turpentine and his giblets fed 2 teh Tour’s Pariah Dogs! And A Démare should have Coldplay pumped into his personal radio until he checks himself into hospital! |
NC Boardman: | Harsh, EC Boardman! I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, say that mi object all sublime I shall achieve in time — 2 let teh punishment fit teh crime — teh punishment fit teh crime. And make each sprinter pent unwillingly represent a source ov innocent merriment, ov innocent merriment! Oh yes! |
G Imlach: | And WT blithering F does that mean? |
NC Boardman: | I have absolutely no idea! |
Omnes: | Yay 4 P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®! U don’t get Gilbert & Sullivan on Eurosport! |
D Friebe: | O hai! D Friebe here! And now teh thoughts of Chairman Cav! |
M Cavendish: | (Dignified response in face of having year ruined) |
SD Millar: | O hai! I am TV’s Super D Millar! Teh commissaires are a bunch of plonkernauts. U liek mi hair? |
Omnes: | Better than that fukn’ hat u had last year, Super D! Teh one that looked liek an upturned fruit bowl upholstered with teh wallpaper from an Indian restaurant! |
G Imlach: | Cut! CUT!!1! |
Slow dissolve to… | |
C Prudhomme: | (Waves arms) I believe I can fly! |
Omnes: | Piss off, Orville! |
N Boulting: | O hai! TV’s *** Boulting welcoming u 2 another day ov châteaux and local delicacies! |
SD Millar: | O hai! Who shall make teh futile break today, ***? |
N Boulting: | Actually, Super D, this break may not be so futile after all. P Gilbert, J Bakelite, TD Gendt, M Delage, EB Hagen, DV Baarle, PL Perisher ect ect. And PT Voeckler 4 teh lulz! |
PT Voeckler: | O hai! In teh absence of CP Sagan I, P’tit T Voeckler, will be providing ur recommended daily intake ov teh Crazy! |
EB Hagen: | O hai! U may call me B-Dog if it saves electrons! |
Omnes: | w00t! EB Hagen iz teh gangsta! Roffle! |
G Thomas: | Piss! |
SD Millar: | Fake news! |
N Boulting: | O RLY? Iz a thing? |
SD Millar: | Yes. Yes, it is. |
R Porte: | U utter git, G Thomas! |
N Boulting: | Right, lunch! Here 4 ur viewing plezh are TV’s M Smith and M Bennett! |
M Smith: | O hai teh break is. Full of riders who have. Pwned teh Tour ov BRITAIN. Which is M Bennett’s race. M Bennett has tentacles everywhere! |
M Bennett: | Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! |
M Smith: | That’s easy 4 u 2. Say here is R McEwen. 4 ur listening plezh! |
R McEwen: | (Lengthy rambling about M Cavendish, T Steels, CP Sagan, egg & cress sandwiches, Satan ect ect) |
Bethany (7): | dere commissaires cp sagan iz not teh bad man & wrongness – u haz it! |
R McEwen: | I wish I’d said that. |
M Bennett: | Tour ov BRITAIN!!1! |
M Smith: | And now certifiable nutter M. Beaumont who is riding round. Teh world in eighty days! |
M Beaumont: | Wibble!!1! |
M Bennett: | Tour ov BRITAIN!!1! |
(Later…) | |
M Bennett: | Tour ov BRITAIN!!1! |
Bethany (7): | go away u silly old man! |
(Later…) | |
N Boulting: | J Bakelite. Podium girls. Or what? Clicky… (http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/jan-bakelants-apologises-offensive-remarks-podium-girls-337867) |
NC Boardman: | It’s 2017, FFS! |
SD Millar: | Meh! |
N Boulting: | Not podium girls, hostesses! |
NC Boardman: | Not much better, is it? 2017, FFS! |
Bethany (7): | Yet another example of teh unequal power relations between women and men whereby women are systematically disadvantaged and oppressed1. It’s 2017, FFS! |
Omnes: | Bethany (7) 4 PM! |
BG Hincapie: | That’s no hostess, that’s Mrs BG Hincapie! |
(Quite a lot later…) | |
SD Millar: | Today’s word is “cinéma”. CI-NÉ-MA. Cinéma. |
(Down teh road a-piece…) | |
TD Gendt: | Arse! |
N Boulting: | Teh sun is out and so is PT Voeckler’s tongue! |
SD Millar: | I didn’t spike his covfefe! No. No, I never! Some big boys did it then ran away! |
(Enfin…) | |
SD Millar: | …rampy… |
Omnes: | If that is a word, Super D, it shouldn’t be. Plz 2 get in teh sea! |
P Gilbert: | O hai! I am P Gilbert and I am made ov teh Win! Right, I iz off! C U l8r, suxx0rz!!1! |
J Bakelite: | O hai! I am J Bakelite and I am made of patriarchy! Got me johnnies in me pocket lol! |
Omnes: | Wanker! |
R Porte: | Work, u dogs! |
Team BMC: | Wanker! |
Team $ky: | Hold our BEER! |
PL Perisher, PT Voeckler & B-Dog: | Piss! |
F Aru: | Aroooooooo! I’m looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's. Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein! |
P Gilbert: | U forgot mi birthday, u utter git! |
J Bakelite: | Arse! Back 2 teh happy sock. |
Omnes: | Wanker! |
SD Millar: | …and S Yates sitting there with his out-of-the-saddle stylee! |
Omnes: | U wot? |
C Froome: | O hai clouds o hai $ky team bus o hai stem! Watch this! |
D Martin: | U were saying? |
N Quintana: | O hai! Mi name is |
G Imlach: | And now, over 2 multilingual smart-alec M Rendall! |
M Rendall: | Mi spikim C Froome. U tälibûn qüatre ceńt çoup skubh el BMC do fernakerpans! Boutrosboutrosghali? |
C Froome: | What did he just say? |
F Aru: | Aroooooooo! If u want me I’ll be drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's and mi hair will be perfect! |
Omnes: | Draw blood! |
Yay 4 P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®! U don’t get Gilbert & Sullivan on Eurosport!
Don't bank on it. They couldn't control Aru yesterday. Porte's team fucked up.
I'm beginning to lose interest, difficult to see any other result than Sky controlling the race all the way to Paris.
The team has lodged an appeal with the CAS - http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/bora-hansgrohe-appeal-to-cas-to-reverse-sagans-tour-de-france-expulsion/ - but the chances of CPS being let back in seem, to the assembled pundits and Bethany (7), slim.
G Imlach: | O hai! And o hai 2 TV’s Nice C Boardman! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! C Froome may keep teh shinyjumper all teh way 2 Paris. Or not. |
G Imlach: | Thank u Nice C Boardman! (Aside…) Idiot! |
D Friebe: | O hai! I haz here G Thomas who haz not teh shinyjumper any more. |
G Thomas: | Thank u Wooden D Friebe1! (Aside…) Idiot! |
N Boulting: | O hai! Welcome 2 a flat stage with a futile break and a sprint finish. Jacques Brel! |
Musical interlude… | |
N Boulting: | What do u think of that, eh, Super D? |
SD Millar: | |
Bethany (7): | I wish I’d said that! |
Later… | |
C Prudhomme: | OK, bored now. Off u fck! |
N Boulting: | And off goes teh futile break! It’s going 2 be a long day 4 them. |
SD Millar: | Not only 4 them either! (Sighs) Iz lunchtime yet, ***? |
N Boulting: | No. First it iz tiem 4 teh human antidote 2 teh Tower ov Babel, TV’s M Rendall! |
M Rendall: | Molto gedankies, ***! Vesoul Fred blong ladri di onkel sportive barnacle! Adolphe Saxophone en los frontière von estrella lá! Fefefefefe! Jacques Brel! |
N Boulting, SD Millar & Bethany (7): | What did he just say? |
M Smith: | O hai today I am joined. In mi cupboard by M Rogers. |
M Rogers: | Er, blah and, moreover, blah! Errm. |
Bethany (7): | Soddez çela pour une alouette! I’m off 2 teh park 2 watch teh Machmen meet teh machines and play ‘Kill By Numbers’, with mi friend 5. Txt me if anything happens! |
M Smith: | Why aren’t you @ school young. Lady? |
Bethany (7): | Piss off, grandad! |
An interminable time later… | |
N Boulting: | …and then me and mi Brompton got a lift down teh mountain from Greg Lemond! Which was nice. |
SD Millar: | |
Omnes: | We wish we’d said that! |
What feels like teh middle of next week... | |
N Boulting: | Flying buttresses? |
SD Millar: | Flying buttresses! Architecture! Morality! Ted & Alice! |
N Boulting: | Christ, I’m bored! M Rendall, historize us! |
M Rendall: | (Sings) This old man, he played trois, vive la France, la France c’est moi! Gimcrack governments, call me if u please, Columbey-les-deux-Églises! |
SD Millar: | Was that Jacques Brel, ***? |
N Boulting: | No. No, Super D, it was not. |
CD Gaulle: | Bof, u Ingleesh! |
N Farage: | He was right about one thing, though! |
Omnes: | Begone, u flap-eared tit-faced stubble-flecked gonk! |
Bethany (7): | This ^^^^. Mum! Mum! What’s 4 tea? |
Bethany’s Mum: | Where u bin, u little minx? I’ll give u tea orlrite! |
N Boulting: | Yikes! Sprint! |
S Colbrelli: | O hai! I, er, um, oh. Bugger! |
A Démare: | Yay! Go me! |
Teh same millennium, but only just… | |
N Boulting: | (Sings) John Kettley iz a weather man. And so iz |
SD Millar: | Was that Jacques Brel? |
N Boulting: | FFS, Super D! |
NC Boardman: | It’s going 2 rain. Unless it doesn’t. |
N Boulting: | Thank u Nice C Boardman! (Aside…) Idiot! |
10 km from teh finish… | |
ML Maire: | (Waking up) Oh. Did I miss anything? |
Bethany (7): | What do u think? |
FX: Slap | |
Bethany’s Mum: | Wot ‘ave I tole u abaht torkin’ 2 strangers? Go 2 ur room! |
Bethany (7): | Awwwwwww, Muuuum! |
M Kitteh: | O hai and, moreover, miaow! Win: I haz it! |
A Démare: | Arse! |
A Greipel: | Piss! |
SD Millar: | Same Stuffs 2morrow, eh, kids! |
Omnes: | :facepalm: |
I'm beginning to lose interest, difficult to see any other result than Sky controlling the race all the way to Paris.
The disappointing thing is the way Froome just seems to have gravitated into yellow without really doing anything.
I'm beginning to lose interest, difficult to see any other result than Sky controlling the race all the way to Paris.
The disappointing thing is the way Froome just seems to have gravitated into yellow without really doing anything.
The team has lodged an appeal with the CAS - http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/bora-hansgrohe-appeal-to-cas-to-reverse-sagans-tour-de-france-expulsion/ - but the chances of CPS being let back in seem, to the assembled pundits and Bethany (7), slim.
Speed at which CAS work will probably mean TdF is finished before decision is made.
So yeah, he's been good enough so far, but hasn't taken yellow by virtue of a decisive coup de théatre like he did in 2013 and last year.
Why not we have Monsieur Larringtons commentary sur le tele en Angleterre?
CAS uphold disqualification of Crazy P Sagan (http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/court-arbitration-sport-uphold-peter-sagans-disqualification-tour-de-france-340151#JYDya6Jq9cyl567v.01)
So yeah, he's been good enough so far, but hasn't taken yellow by virtue of a decisive coup de théatre like he did in 2013 and last year.
Incorrect. He has been more than good enough; he has been better than his main rivals. Taking so much time out of them on the TT was a decisive coup de théatre. All he has to do now is defend the time advantage or extend when opportunity arises as he did on Stage 5.
It's really down to others to provide the decisive coup de théatre to wrestle the yellow jumper from him.
Incorrectamundo. ........etc
It's really down to others to provide the decisive coup de théatre to wrestle the yellow jumper from him.
Taking so much time out of them on the TT was a decisive coup de théatre.
Incorrectamundo. ........etc
Errr, last time I looked Froome was ahead of Aru, and I did say:It's really down to others to provide the decisive coup de théatre to wrestle the yellow jumper from him.
Which is exactly what Aru will have to do, and anyone else for that matter.
Defending the time advantage does not just mean sitting back. He can attack and gain more time and I'm sure they are aware that attack is the best form of defence.
They clearly cannot rely on the final 22km TT as anything could happen to upset the applecart, punctures etc, and I have no doubt they will be planning to go into that with a handsome time gap on the others. So over to the others to 'light it up' in the mountains.
The final TT isn't long enough for Froome to bank on, plus its hilly which plays into Aru's hands.
Froome lost 26 seconds to Aru on Stage 5
Taking so much time out of them on the TT was a decisive coup de théatre.I don't think you know what that phrase means.
He finished sixth on the stage, only 25 seconds ahead of Simon Yates who is a rubbish time trialist. Richie Porte's time was a reflection of how cautiously he rode, not how well Froome rode.
Froome lost 26 seconds to Aru on Stage 5
Aye.
The thing about Stage 5 was that it was just one HC climb in a short stage. We'll have to see if Aru can do the same after a full mountain stage with 4 or 5 climbs. The comparative lack of depth in Astana compared to Sky didnt seem to matter to Aru, and I cant see Porte and Martin's team being able to gang up on Aru.
Froome will be needing a special package of marginal gains couriered to him.
.................... Aru lookedmegadoped................
Froome lost 26 seconds to Aru on Stage 5
Indeed. He did recognise this in a TV interview - ICBA to look it up and quote him now, but in essence, he said "Yeah, we shouldn't have let him get away like that."
Why not we have Monsieur Larringtons commentary sur le tele en Angleterre?
+1 - it needs a wider audience!
Trite comment. If I don't know then Mr Internet will tell me!
Why not we have Monsieur Larringtons commentary sur le tele en Angleterre?
+1 - it needs a wider audience!
Bethany's Mum vetoed it.
Could we have a photo of Bethany's Mum please.
Which one is Mum?Could we have a photo of Bethany's Mum please.(click to show/hide)
Is the chap kneeling down Paul Sherwen?
Bethany's Mum: | Ewwwww! Nah, it's W Barguil, but G Thomas iz paying mi fee! |
P.S. that was a bloody boring stage.
Bethany (7): | o hai bthny heer soz cant comentat on teh tour 2da coz mi mum got rite long jus coz I bunkt of skool yesterda!!!! sendin this frm 5s fone shes mi totes bff not liek mi mum she took mi fone awa NOT FARE teh fukn old c-o-w!!!!?! sa hi 2 tvs niec c boardman frm me an 5,,,, hes liek mi coole unkl jeo (onli lots oldr rofl{ bai xXx bthny1 |
M Rendall: | What did she just say? |
NC Boardman: | They grow up so fast these days, don’t they? |
G Imlach: | Yes. Yes, they do. Today’s stage, Nice C Boardman. Ur prediction? |
NC Boardman: | Futile break, sprint finish, *** Boulting talking about Jacques Brel again. Unless teh wind picks up, which will be teh different kettle ov fish. |
M Kitteh: | Did he say “fish”? I liek fish! Also, miaow! |
C Prudhomme: | Back in ur travelling basket, M Kitteh! Teh stage hasn’t started yet! |
Later… | |
N Boulting: | O hai! TV’s *** Boulting here! Super D Millar, SCIENCE us! Wind! |
SD Millar: | Woo! Pens! (Explains Futility ov Breaks with teh Aid ov Diagrams…) Wind! |
N Boulting: | Top SCIENCE there! And tomorrow SD Millar will Explain Mountains through teh Medium ov Interpretive Dance! Wind! |
Exeunt four Charlies, pursued by a pelican… | |
SD Millar: | M Mori… very Italian. They’re all exhibitionists! |
M Cipollini: | How very dare you, Sir! Naem yore weapon! |
SD Millar: | I naem him… BASIL!!1! |
M Cipollini: | OK, u win. |
Later… | |
N Boulting: | Tiem 4 wind, M Smith, M Rogers, lunch and wind. Wind! |
M Rogers: | Wind. La Grande Motte 2009. Wind. |
M Smith: | Wind. Stage win 4 A Greipel teh goriler ov 3b. |
Omnes: | MUNKEH!!1! |
Much later… | |
M Rogers & M Smith: | Wind. We haz pens also. But no paper. Soz! |
N Boulting: | We’re baaaaaack! What’s happening? |
Omnes: | Nothing. |
SD Millar | What, again? |
After a suitable period has elapsed… | |
N Boulting: | Sprint! |
S Colbrelli: | O hai! Got it right this tiem eh? |
M Kitteh: | Let me out ov this basket! I am a professional racing cyclist, I tell you, not a bloody cat! Also, miaow! |
N Boulting & SD Millar: | Wind!!1! |
N Boulting: | And now 4 ur listening plezh, Sir G Verity! |
SG Verity: | Eh up! Fook me, ah’m knackered! Just ridden ‘undred and twenty k. Bai eck, it’s a bit warm out there! w00t, CAEK! Wind! Tour de Yorkshire! |
JR Tyke: | ...bloody give u Col de bloody Buttertubs, tha great spawny-eyed parrot-faced wazzock… |
After teh 4th Cat lump… | |
N Boulting: | Yawn! M Rendall, ur turn 2 SCIENCE us! |
SD Millar: | Must we? |
M Rendall: | Shivva mi ganesh sur knobftick blood! Dachshund Apollo XV scumble begumseguckeger on!on bol do fjørd con jamón! Clair von cratère lunytiče são giorgio go-kart Cait O’Riordan? LOL!!1! |
SD Millar: | Get! Out! |
Bethany (7): | O hai! What’s happening, gang? |
Omnes: | Nothing. |
Bethany (7): | What, again? |
Bethany’s Mum: | Bef’ny! Gerrin ‘ere an’ do yore ‘omework! |
Bethany (7): | Awwwwwww, Muuuum! Bloody Tory league tables! |
... | |
N Boulting: | Wine. |
SD Millar: | Yes plz! Hic! |
N Boulting: | Hair! |
SD Millar: | Oh yes! I’m worth it! |
N Boulting: | Wind… gorn! |
And so to… | |
N Boulting: | Futile break… gorn! |
SD Millar: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! |
M Kitteh: | Winnage? Also, miaow! |
B-Dog: | Winnage? Woof, woof! |
M Kitteh: | Ha! U lose, dogbreath! U liek mi hair? Miaow! |
B-Dog: | Piss! |
A Démare: | Oh. Haz teh stage finished then? |
N Bouhanni: | I wuz robbed! Again. |
Omnes: | Ooh, M Kitteh! Ur so money supermarket! |
M Kitteh: | What did they just say? |
I'm being driven slightly mad by the ITV4 adverts, the 'avian entourage' especially. The 'Mitchum' advert with its 'travelling without directions' got me wondering what an audax fragrance might be called, for those who travel with minutely detailed directions.
P.S. that was a bloody boring stage.
What are you saying, the crash at the feed zone was a non-event? Well, ok, the cameras missed it, the rider involved looked unhurt, and the only damage appeared to be a dropped chain.
At least we have a few hills tomorrow, and some serious mountains on Sunday. This should develop the story nicely.
Ever since the advent of live coverage...
A Démare: | No. No, it is not funny! |
I say, I say we should vote and I would, for the tour to move to Yorkshire all the time I there is enough lumps around here to keep it busy for a few weeks :)
That's irreverant. It's Yorkshire, gods own county. Nuff said.I say, I say we should vote and I would, for the tour to move to Yorkshire all the time I there is enough lumps around here to keep it busy for a few weeks :)
How many 2000-metre lumps are there in Yorks?
:thumbsup:
Meanwhile, WTF?
(http://www.pbase.com/image/165793515.jpg)
Looks like the local populace have a major UTI problem based on the colour of that river!
:thumbsup:
Meanwhile, WTF?
(http://www.pbase.com/image/165793515.jpg)
Comment from the BikeRadar thread:QuoteLooks like the local populace have a major UTI problem based on the colour of that river!
Bethany (7): | o hai bthny heer cant do teh tour AGANE coz mi mum sez we goin 2 vizit mi hipi nana 2da whoz reely old an smokes funy siggerets NOT FARE ,,,,sa hi 2 soupa d milla 5 whoz mi bff thinx hes ded peng !! lolxXx bthny |
Bethany’s Mum: | Bef’ny! ‘ave u brushed yore ‘air? |
Bethany (7): | Yes, Mum! (Aside…) Fukn old c-o-w! |
Bethany’s Mum: | I ‘eard dat! |
FX: Slap | |
Bethany (7): | Owww! Here we see teh violence inherent in teh system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed! |
Bethany’s Mum: | Shurrup, u little toerag! Or I’ll sell u 2 TV’s Evil C Boardman 4 teh medical xperiments rest day pogrom! |
Bethany (7): | (Sotto voce…) yeah yeah u fukn c-o-w hes proberly a peedo! |
NC Boardman: | Tch! I blame teh parents… |
G Imlach: | Get ur hat, Super D, u’ve pulled roffle! |
SD Millar: | I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, G Imlach. |
Omnes: | 5’ll run a mile if she sees SD Millar wearing a hat lol! |
SD Millar: | U lot can get tae fck as well! (Sulks…) |
N Boulting: | Cheer up, Super D! At least today haz teh proper climbs and maybe M Smith will have discovered teh sub-clause! |
SD Millar: | Yarbles! Bolshy gr8 yarblockoes 2 u 2, *** Boulting! |
N Boulting: | Remind me again which 1 out ov u and Bethany (7) is seven (7) years old… |
SD Millar: | Wee-wee! Knickers! Horse poos in teh road! (Starts crying…) |
P York: | I’m having second thoughts about teaming up with that lot! |
Meanwhile… | |
G Imlach: | O hai! GV Avermaet! |
D Friebe: | O hai! O hai, R Porte! GV Avermaet? |
R Porte: | O hai! GV Avermaet! |
D Friebe: | O hai, GV Avermaet! |
GV Avermaet: | O hai! S Cummings! |
D Friebe: | O hai, S Cummings! |
S Cummings: | O hai! Take it as it comes, see what happens, GV Avermaet! |
Omnes: | :facepalm: |
Shortly thereafter… | |
C Prudhomme: | U! Yes, u, boy! Get yore bloody hands off mi car! |
N Boulting: | O hai! In fact, everyone is going 2 be in teh possibly non-futile break today. S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel! |
SD Millar: | Not talking 2 you! |
N Boulting: | Louis Pasteur! |
SD Millar: | Meh! (Blows raspberry) |
C Prudhomme: | OK. Off u fck! |
A Several ov Breaks ov variable Futility later… | |
N Boulting: | So iz this teh definitive break? |
SD Millar: | (Forgetting 2 sulk…) No. Yes. Intermediate sprint. Elastic. |
S Cummings: | C me bide mi tiem! |
GV Avermaet: | Arse! Can’t u lot just let me get on with it? I’m teh Olympic champion FFS! |
S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel: | O hai! I, S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel, multiple tiem-trial champion ov France, will do teh break 2da or die trying! Oh. |
S Cummings: | C me bide mi tiem! |
N Boulting: | PT Voeckler! |
SD Millar: | GV Avermaet. Intermediate sprint. Momentum. Elastic. M Kitteh. |
M Kitteh: | O hai! Fish. Also, miaow! |
S Cummings: | C me bide mi tiem! |
M Kitteh: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! Oh. Piss and, moreover, miaow! |
A Greipel: | lol @ M Kitteh! |
Omnes: | MUNKEH! |
S Cummings: | C me bide mi tiem! |
After teh blipverts… | |
SD Millar: | GV Avermaet. J Hendrix. TD Gendt. AT Hun. S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel. EO Aquitaine. PT Voeckler. A Lincoln. M Kitteh. None ov them iz in teh break! WTF iz going on? |
S Cummings: | C me bide mi tiem! |
Later… | |
Bethany (7): | o hai only got a sec coz mi mum an mi hipi nana an mi coole unkl jeo are all out in mi nanas gardin smokin teh funy siggerets,,,,,,, an giglin liek *** off ov teh tely when tvs niec c boardman maeks him do sumfink sily lol! |
Bethany’s Mum: | Bef’ny! ‘oo u torkin’ 2? Hahahahahahaha oh! I dropped it! |
Bethany (7): | No-one, Mum! (Whistles innocently…) |
Bethany’s Cool Uncle Joe: | Outtasight far out! |
Bethany’s Hippie Nana: | Thass teh first sign ov madness, that is! Pffthhlllrt! |
S Uggs: | Leave it… |
Bethany (7): | Anything happening with teh GC contenders yet? I want 2 see them make a proper race ov it! |
M Rendall: | What did she just say? |
Omnes: | No. Nothing GC-ish happening yet. And S Cummings is biding his tiem. |
Bethany (7): | Oh. Bum. L8rs! |
Not much later… | |
SD Millar: | Reboot! Force teh pace! GV Avermaet! |
N Boulting: | TD Gendt, J Bakelite! UT Cobley! |
SD Millar: | Feed zone! |
M Smith: | O hai talking ov feed zones iz tiem. U 2 went off 4 ur lunch. |
R Downing: | This ^^^^. |
N Boulting: | Oh, OK. But I’m watching you. |
S Cummings: | C me bide mi tiem! |
R Downing: | Eh up! S Cummings iz biding his tiem! Oh aye! ‘appen! |
Post-prandium… | |
N Boulting: | Enuff! A Démare – ‘liminated or what? |
N Bouhanni: | Oh, I do hope so! |
N Boulting: | W Barguil. S Pauwels. Virtual shinyjumper. Oh! |
W Barguil: | O hai! That hurt more than an hour with Bethany’s Mum! |
Bethany's Mum: | O hai, big boy! Hahahahahateehee! Pass it here, Joe! |
M Smith: | Haven’t u 2 finished ur lunch yet this. Colemantating iz harder than it looks! |
N Boulting: | A Talansky! Virtual shinyjumper! |
C Knees: | Oomeknees! |
C Froome: | O hai! Whoopsie! Where did teh road go? |
N Boulting: | GV Avermaet! |
At or near teh village ov Cabbages1 | |
Bethany (7): | o hai wots this bout mi mum an w barguil,,,,, she jus fell off her chare o god shes so mbarasin sumtiems… |
W Barguil: | Errrrrrrr, grown-up Stuffs! Cut, FFS! |
Bethany (7): | So, GC, then? |
SD Millar: | Pregnant, with unexplored avenues. |
Bethany (7): | How does anyone get pregnant without exploration? I don’t buy that virgin birth rubbish, y’know! |
SD Millar: | (Turns funny shade ov puce) Er, um, IVF? |
N Boulting: | $ky winding it up a bit now. Might all kick off on teh final climb but tomorrow's a big day as well. |
Bethany (7): | Thank u, ***. At least there’s one person here who still makes sense! |
After what iz hopefully teh last lot ov blipverts | |
N Boulting: | 25k, 90 seconds, w00t! |
ML Maire: | FFS! MOAR fukn blipverts >:( |
SB Wiggins: | Buy! Buy a Skoda! |
ML Maire: | Get tae fck, SB Wiggins! I’ve already got one. |
N Boulting: | 20k, 80 seconds, w00t! |
ML Maire: | FFS! MOAR fukn blipverts >:( |
S Mug-Git: | Buy! Buy a Volkswagen! |
L Calmejane: | O hai! Remember me? Not calling me “Sue” now, R U? |
N Roche: | Piss! |
R Gesink: | I ATE’NT DEAD! (Dies) |
L Calmejane: | Owwwwwwwwww! Me legses! |
S Yates: | O hai! I am S Yates and I am made ov teh Win! C me attack 4 teh juniorshinyjumper! |
T $ky: | Oh no u don’t, m’laddo! |
N Boulting: | Look, see, teh PT Voeckler Lolling Tongue ov Success! |
L Calmejane: | I told u I was dead butch! |
SD Millar: | Spare a thort 4 poor |
N Bouhanni: | Ur joking. Sa “yes” or I punch ur lights out! |
Bethany (7): | No change up front, then? |
NC Boardman: | No. No, there wasn’t. |
Bethany (7): | ok ta niec c boardman gotta go an put mi mum inna taksi cu 2moro bai xXx bthny |
S Cummings: | C me bide mi oh... |
G Imlach: | Look, see, S Yates is on teh fone. Who do u think he’s calling? |
NC Boardman: | Gotta be his Mum! |
EC Boardman: | Or Bethany's Mum lol! |
Exeunt Mori & Gesink within first km.
Porte gone
He was ready for the sprint that way.
Cruel for Barguil.
He was ready for the sprint that way.
Cruel for Barguil.
Beaten by some git on a singlespeed. I think every single one of us who commutes by bike knows the feeling...
Bethany (7): | o hai urly start 2da gud job mi mums stil aslepe eh coz shed onli showt @ me agen onistly ud think shed ov growd out ov it bi now i had 2 get mi own t yesterday findus crispy fukn pancaeks agen salt fat additives u naem it im gonna call childline… |
FX: Piano being defenestrated | |
…hang on shes moovin upstares l8rs… | |
G Imlach: | O hai! I, TV’s G Imlach, Grand Vizier by appointment 2 teh Court ov HM teh King C Prudhomme teh First, welcome u 2 teh mobile soap opera that iz teh Tour de France! Mi Fool TV’s Nice C Boardman iz off doing teh Stuffs 4 TV so I will torment TV’s *** Boulting and TV’s Super D Millar! |
N Boulting: | (Guiltily concealing sticky bun…) O hai! I, TV’s *** Boulting, pronounce today’s stage MOAR Eebil than TV’s Evil C Boardman! |
SD Millar: | O hai! Fck yeah, I, TV’s Super D Miller, say “iz nasty”! |
N Boulting: | AG2R! Oh yes! |
G Imlach: | Oh, look, see, a prat on a zip line! Get stuck, go on, o you mite! Maek us larrf, liek TV’s Bloody Stupid Johnson! |
Meanwhile… | |
Bethany (7): | o god i think shes bein sik (Shouting) Mum, Mum, can I go round 2 5’s house, Mum? |
Bethany’s Mum: | Doan care wot u do, u little tart, long as u shurrup abah’ it! |
Bethany (7): | Revenge is sweet but not fattening, eh, readers! |
N Boulting: | Rain! TV’s M Smith! Who haz u got in ur broom cupboard 2da? |
M Smith: | O hai 2da I haz M Hutchinson aka. Dokta Hutch teh well-known loonhouse only he’s. Not here yet! |
N Boulting: | U had one job! |
SD Millar: | Teh FEAR – teh pelican haz it! |
A Démare: | O hai! Ur not wrong there, Super D! C me form l’autobus e’en b4 le Roi C Prudhomme haz done teh impression ov teh Malmesbury Monk! |
N Bouhanni: | LOL @ A Démare! |
Omnes: | And what manner ov rider art thou, that soddeth off teh front on teh very first climb? |
T Wellens: | O hai! There are those who call me… TIM! |
T Pinot: | O hai! I am T Pinot and I am made ov teh Win! Y u wearing those horns? |
T Wellens: | Who, me? |
Across teh tracks… | |
5’s Mummy: | Air hellay, Bethany! Vivalda1 is just mucking ait her poney! Would you like a kumquat? |
Bethany (7): | Yes please, Mrs Poulidor-Featherstonehaugh! |
5’s Mummy: | Oh for goodness’ sake, Bethany, hai many times do Ai have to ask you to call me “Syrah2”? |
Enter Vivalda Poulidor-Featherstonehaugh aka “5” | |
5: | o hai bef’ny we gonna watch teh tour innit? |
Bethany (7): | innit! |
5: | We’ll be in mai suite, Mummy. We won’t hear Daddy shouting at teh under-gardener from up there! |
5’s Mummy: | OK, dahling! Do finish your kumquat first, Bethany! |
Bethany (7): | Yesmissispoulidorfanshawnomnomnom! Ooh, I fink one ov mi teef haz come loose! |
5’s Mummy: | “Syrah”! |
SD Millar: | Oh, look, see, M Mori haz doned a crash! C him showing off as he writhes on teh floor in ag…, er, cut! CUT, FFS! |
N Boulting: | Big bunch off teh front! Look, see, there is JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking! |
JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai! Remember me, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking? And remember what happens 2 people who call me “Jar-Jar”? (Indicates very large hammer) They meet mi associate, El Mjölñiro, and ushualy end up being killed utterly 2 DETH! |
R Gesink: | I ATE’NT DEAD!!one! (Abandons…) |
Meanwhile… | |
5: | Super D Millar! (Huge sigh) He’s so yummy! I wanna haz hiz babies! |
Bethany (7): | Ur sick! U seed hiz hat? (Shows 5 picture ov SD Millar in teh “Rubette XL De Luxe”) |
5: | Ewwwwwww! I gone rite of im innit! |
Bethany (7): | Mi work here is done lol! U owe me big tiem, Super D! |
SD Millar: | Thank fck 4 that! |
N Boulting: | Tiem 4 MOAR sticky buns! M Smith, speak 2 us with words, shake ur ash spear! |
M Smith: | O hai Dokta Hutch haz now rocked up. Next big French hope L Calamityjane3 or something. Or what? |
D Hutch: | L Calamityjane yes T Pinot R Bardet that other bloke PT Voeckler tongue and so on. |
Omnes: | What did he just, wait… what! Where iz teh lazy Norn Iron stereotyping? |
ML Maire: | Ha! |
Later… | |
TD Gendt: | Piss! |
S Cummings: | C me bide ect ect! |
SD Millar: | Rain. |
SG Verity: | (From somewhere up teh road) Eh up, bai ‘eck, aye! Rain. |
N Boulting: | Spottyjumper? |
SD Millar: | Yes. No. Perhaps. |
N Boulting: | JJ Jarlinsson (teh Colombian Viking)? |
SD Millar: | Reboot. His gears, that is. |
TP Fairy: | O hai! I am TP Fairy, and I maek TV’s Evil C Boardman look liek St Francis ov Assissisisisissssssss! Whom shall I visit with mi Pointy Thing ov Doom 2da, eh? Ah, J Birdsong! Stab, stabbity, stabbeee! |
J Birdsong: | Maybe you’ll wanna give me kisses sweet. But only 4 one night with no repeat! Mi Mum was in Teh Supremes, u know4! |
TP Fairy: | Flattery does not work with me, J Birdsong! |
P Roglic: | O hai! Spottyjumper wha-hey! |
SD Millar: | Wet descent. Not hard work. Skill. |
Bethany (7): | Skill? Isn’t that an African bum disease roffle? |
Omnes: | No, Bethany (7). No, it is not. |
N Boulting: | C Betancur. Virtual shinyjumper! |
SD Millar: | Monsieur Bibendum! Porky bloater! Aaaah, Spacehopper! |
T Astana: | O NOES! OUR DOM-ES-TIQUES HAZ BEEN EX-TER-MIN-A-TED! |
N Boulting: | AG2R! JJ Jarlinsson! |
G Thomas: | Arse! That hurts! |
R Bardet: | O hai! Right, watch this! |
JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai! Anyone seen A Contador? |
A Contador: | O hai! I fell over. Going uphill. FFS! |
SD Millar: | Wha-hey, wowsa, w00t and other expressions ov enthusiasm! AG2R! |
N Boulting: | Virtual shinyjumper! A Vuillermoz! Spottyjumper! |
W Barguil: | Not if I, W “Big Boy” Barguil haz any say in teh matter! |
T Ben00t: | O hai! I, T Ben00t, am also here, u know! Just coz I never been caught in flagrante with Bethany’s Mum! |
Bethany (7): | Hold on! What are u implying? Surely W Barguil iz not old enuff 2 be mi Dad! Iz he? |
T Ben00t: | (Whistles innocently…) |
SD Millar: | This iz much MOAR betterer than flat stage ploddery futile break dullitude, eh? AG2R! |
N Boulting: | M Matthews! J Bakelite! B Mollema and hiz aero conk! S Geschke and hiz Hipster Beard! Tiem 4 tea & seed CAEK! M Smith & D Hutch, disseminate essential information! |
D Hutch: | M Matthews, eh? Team $ky creeping up. Mont du Chat. |
M Kitteh: | Chat? Miaow! |
N Boulting: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! |
M Matthews: | O hai! Yay, points! Points 4 meeee! If I was CP Sagan u’d all be saying how crazy I am! Bloody favouritism! |
N Boulting: | Oh, look, see, TV’s C Boardmen have just appeared! Evil C Boardman is implying A Démare is in deep, deep doo-doo! |
N Bouhanni: | Mi hart bleeds! |
N Boulting: | Mickey Mouse blocking teh Col du Chat lol! |
SD Millar: | Cat… mouse… roffle! |
Omnes: | That falls way below teh standards stipulated in ur terms & conditions, SD Millar! U will not be paid 4 it! |
Slo dissolve… | |
N Boulting & SD Millar: | Reboot! |
C Froome: | Yoicks! Mi biek! |
F Aru: | Arooooooo! I’m teh hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent! |
Omnes: | Sho sum RISPEK, F Aru, u wnkr! |
C Froome: | I could hav u killed, F Aru! Killed utterly 2 DETH! |
W Barguil: | Oi! I’m leading teh stage, u kno! |
Bethany (7): | yay go |
F Aru: | Arooooooo! Ect. |
R Porte: | O RLY? |
C Froome: | O RLY? |
N Quintana: | O RLY? |
W Barguil: | O piss! |
A Contador: | Wot W Barguil said! |
Bethany (7): | yay |
J Birdsong: | I pwned teh Dauphiné coming down here, y’know! Yeah, don’t ya hear teh wind blowing? |
R Porte: | I, er, oh, bugger! |
D Martin: | (Furious mid-air arm-waving) WTF did u do that for, R Porte? |
R Bardet: | CU l8r, suxx0rz! |
C Froome: | Go on then, F Aru, ur so fukn keen! |
F Aru: | |
5: | look bef’ny during teh blipverts r bardet iz in teh lead! |
Bethany (7): | o ffs itv u gits!!?! |
Shortly… | |
Bethany (7): | yay they cort im! |
J Birdsong: | I told u I was hardcore. You packed your bags as I recall, and you walked slowly down teh hall. Oh! |
Bethany (7): | yay go |
W Barguil: | (Speechless…) |
Bethany (7): | (Speechless…) |
R Uran: | Er, excuse me, W Barguil, but I think ur sitting in mi chair! |
W Barguil: | FFS! |
Bethany (7): | (Starts crying…) |
Omnes: | Never mind teh riders, we need a rest day after that! |
The more I see of Porte's Crash, the more it looks to me that he'd be a lot better off if Dan Martin's bike hadn't given him that final push into the stone wall. Very unfortunate.The less I see of Porte's crash the better.
can’t really think about that at the moment. I’m just thinking of the devastation of leaving the Tour and another Grand Tour. I crashed at the Giro on stage nine, and it’s stage nine again here. I was lying second overall on both days as well. It’s just so disappointing
From a few days ago - nice and honest :)
Aru attacking when Froome has a technical. Poor form.
Aru attacking when Froome has a technical. Poor form.
I note that there were some comments about whether 'yellow jersey etiquette' may have been taken too far. A yellow jersey crash or the like, yes, but a rear mech issue, that may be down to team Sky, etc...
I note that after the race Aru said he didn't know Froome had an issue. Video evidence suggests he launched his attack from behind Froome as soon as he saw Froome raise his arm and look back for assistance.
W Barguil: | FFS, D Martin, couldn't u have kicked R Uran's derailleur a bit harder? Also, I am not Bethany's Dad! |
Froome looking pretty strong.
Am I mistaken in thinking that there seems to be more gear shifting trouble this year?
Interesting comments from Thomas on his crash:
http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/geraint-thomas-massively-disappointed-to-crash-out-of-tour-de-france-340724 (http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/geraint-thomas-massively-disappointed-to-crash-out-of-tour-de-france-340724)
“I knew something was wrong. Normally, you can just get up and get going again. You just have to accept it.”
I note that after the race Aru said he didn't know Froome had an issue. Video evidence suggests he launched his attack from behind Froome as soon as he saw Froome raise his arm and look back for assistance.
Every good story needs a villain.
From what I heard on the radio, Aru cut his attack when he heard that CF had problems. That didn't stop CF trying to shove Aru off the road a bit later on. You don't hear so much about that.
I am tired of people expecting riders to wait for others’ mechanical problems, crashes, toilet breaks, etc. Treating the race as a race would simplify things for everyone.
I am tired of people expecting riders to wait for others’ mechanical problems, crashes, toilet breaks, etc. Treating the race as a race would simplify things for everyone.
Etiquette in pro-cycling has a long reach back into history.
Warning: This post may contain IRONY
I am tired of people expecting riders to wait for others’ mechanical problems, crashes, toilet breaks, etc. Treating the race as a race would simplify things for everyone.
But it was the riders who made the decision, so if you don't like it then go and complain to the riders!
Or simply stop watching it and go and watch something where 'anything goes'.Etiquette in pro-cycling has a long reach back into history.
And an important aspect of the sport which is passed from generation to generation.
The use of etiquette seems vary. Quintana wasn't so kind to Tom Dumoulin in the Giro as he was to Froome yesterday.
There should be a cost to these choices of equipment,
Her next, and bigger, fight involved the federation. Although the French team had a contract to use Look pedals exclusively, Longo insisted that she could not use any but the pedals made for her by the Time company. It was not a question of endorsements, she insisted, noting that she did not receive a fee from Time, but a matter of fit.
Fearing the loss of a major sponsor because she refused to switch pedals, French officials dropped her from the 1991 world championship squad. When she announced that she was considering changing citizenship and riding for Monaco or Luxembourg in the Olympic Games, the federation said that it would not stand in her way. She did not pursue the option, choosing instead to skip the world championships and sue the federation.
Remembering the hoo-hah when Jeannie Longo insisted on using her own pedals, I'd guess it'd be determined by the team's contract with the sponsor.
http://www.nytimes.com/1992/06/06/sports/06iht-bike.htmlQuoteHer next, and bigger, fight involved the federation. Although the French team had a contract to use Look pedals exclusively, Longo insisted that she could not use any but the pedals made for her by the Time company. It was not a question of endorsements, she insisted, noting that she did not receive a fee from Time, but a matter of fit.
Fearing the loss of a major sponsor because she refused to switch pedals, French officials dropped her from the 1991 world championship squad. When she announced that she was considering changing citizenship and riding for Monaco or Luxembourg in the Olympic Games, the federation said that it would not stand in her way. She did not pursue the option, choosing instead to skip the world championships and sue the federation.
There should be a cost to these choices of equipment,
But who decides what equipment is used? The team, or the sponsor providing said equipment?
Remembering the hoo-hah when Jeannie Longo insisted on using her own pedals, I'd guess it'd be determined by the team's contract with the sponsor.
http://www.nytimes.com/1992/06/06/sports/06iht-bike.htmlQuoteHer next, and bigger, fight involved the federation. Although the French team had a contract to use Look pedals exclusively, Longo insisted that she could not use any but the pedals made for her by the Time company. It was not a question of endorsements, she insisted, noting that she did not receive a fee from Time, but a matter of fit.
Fearing the loss of a major sponsor because she refused to switch pedals, French officials dropped her from the 1991 world championship squad. When she announced that she was considering changing citizenship and riding for Monaco or Luxembourg in the Olympic Games, the federation said that it would not stand in her way. She did not pursue the option, choosing instead to skip the world championships and sue the federation.
If my memory serves, commentators or the cycling press have, in the past, talked about riders using re-badged kit, or simply having the logos and branding taped over.
I know this is a simplification, because when they’re already racing, no-one is expected to wait. But as the sport has become more rationalised, modernised, and professional, the time spent racing has increased. I maintain the whole stage should be treated as a race.
It's a money thing. The Team owners/Sponsors/TV Companies/Spectators who pay the riders wages want a consistent product.It might also be that the riders in that select group are all thinking that it could be them. If you think "1 good day here and I'm in yellow", you are likely to argue that yellow should have privilege.
For the occasional WTF happened there stage journeyman A beating Journeyman B is acceptable but the main interest is in the big names, Froome vs Porte vs Quintana vs Contador. The riders won't deliberately wreck the spectacle
The collective aim of the peloton is to arrive in Paris. That's best achieved if someone is in charge of moderating the pace of the racing. Tours fall into two types, either with or without a 'Patron'. Froome's a 'Patron' as he's won three Tours.
The ideal stage from a collective point of view, has a climactic finish, but no-one is eliminated. Aru's attack was a challenge to the Patron, and Froome responded. FdJ can either blame Aru or Froome for the elimination of much of their team. Leadership of the Tour is a diplomatic position.
Dunno, but itvwas definitely Geraint Thomas who said "we're not paid to entertain, we're paid to win races".
W Barguil: | O hai! I am W Barguil and I am made ov teh Win! But liek I said last night, I am not Bethany’s father... |
Bethany (7): | wha’evs! |
Bethany’s Mum: | Bef’ny! ‘ave u cleaned yore teef? |
Bethany (7): | Yes, Mum! I fink one ov em’s come loose though! |
Bethany’s Mum: | Vey’ll orl be loose if u doan get a bleedin’ move on! U doan wanna be l8 4 skool agen, do u? |
Bethany (7): | wha’evs! (Aside…) Still, it’s a rest day so I’m not liek I’m missing anything! |
G Imlach: | Look here, young lady, we’ve been working our donkeys off 2 edumatain u proles! |
Bethany (7): | wha’evs! |
G Imlach: | OK, TV’s Super D Millar and *** Boulting, summarise teh race without deviation, repetition, er, hesitation, complaint or sarcasm! |
N Boulting: | It wouldn’t be teh same! |
SD Millar: | M Cavendish CP Sagan A Démare M Kitteh! |
N Boulting: | G Thomas C Froome! L Calamityjane, W Barguil, F Aru. R Porte. |
G Imlach: | BRITONS! Do ur duty! |
G Thomas: | Pub? |
Omnes: | Pub! |
D Friebe: | O hai! O hai C Froome! Aru? AG2R? |
C Froome: | Wnkr! I could have him killed. 2 DETH! But I didn’t try 2 barge him into touch. Honest. No, rly! R Bardet! |
Bethany (7): | wha’evs! |
G Imlach: | Now S Yates! Mind ur fukn language! AG2R? |
S Yates: | Soz! Anyway! And we’ll see what happens! |
Bethany (7): | wha’evs! |
D Friebe: | D Martin, enlightenment! |
D Martin: | C me bounce, liek teh innocent Derek Bentley! Also, there is still a long way 2 go! |
Bethany (7): | wha’evs! |
G Imlach: | S Thwaites! |
Omnes: | Who he? |
S Thwaites: | Oi! M Cavendish. B-Dog. Take it day by day. Ect ect. |
Bethany (7): | wha’evs! |
G Imlach: | TV’s D Friebe, hill us with climbs, d00d! |
D Friebe: | Er, how? |
G Imlach: | Er. TV’s Nice C Boardman! SCIENCE us! |
NC Boardman: | Warm-down. Bollocks? Not bollocks? Yes. No. Who cares? |
Bethany (7): | Not me, that’s 4 sure! |
G Boardman: | At least he didn’t use me 4 a guinea pig this year! |
G Imlach: | So there u haz it! |
Bethany (7): | Told u I wasn’t missing anything! This toof is definitely loose though… |
yeahbut the uprong isn't the best of solutions. Or for that matter even the best solution already available. 😈
There should be a cost to these choices of equipment,
But who decides what equipment is used? The team, or the sponsor providing said equipment?
Doesn’t matter. If it’s the sponsor, then there should be a cost to having that sponsor, etc., etc. The bicycle is a solved problem. If a sponsor wants to use experimental equipment for the sake of sales, as Shimano does with Di2, tough luck.
<snippage>
Remembering the hoo-hah when Jeannie Longo insisted on using her own pedals, I'd guess it'd be determined by the team's contract with the sponsor.
http://www.nytimes.com/1992/06/06/sports/06iht-bike.htmlQuoteHer next, and bigger, fight involved the federation. Although the French team had a contract to use Look pedals exclusively, Longo insisted that she could not use any but the pedals made for her by the Time company. It was not a question of endorsements, she insisted, noting that she did not receive a fee from Time, but a matter of fit.
Fearing the loss of a major sponsor because she refused to switch pedals, French officials dropped her from the 1991 world championship squad. When she announced that she was considering changing citizenship and riding for Monaco or Luxembourg in the Olympic Games, the federation said that it would not stand in her way. She did not pursue the option, choosing instead to skip the world championships and sue the federation.
Nope. Its a yellow jersey thing.Clearly not a Maglia Rosa thing.
Poor old Arnaud Demare. Strange that he couldnt make the time cut. He didnt have any problem getting over the Cipressa at last year's MSR before going on to win it.
R Majka a DNS today.
Bora-Hansgrohe team doctor Jan-Niklas Droste expounded on Majka's injuries.
"Directly after the stage we went to the medical truck of the Tour, but decided to go to the hospital for further examinations and to be sure that especially his spine is okay," Droste said. "He suffers from heavy contusions and can hardly breath because of the pain. He also lost a lot of skin and has some deep excoriations. From a safety perspective it's best to leave the Tour now and take some rest to recover."
Poor old Arnaud Demare. Strange that he couldnt make the time cut. He didnt have any problem getting over the Cipressa at last year's MSR before going on to win it.
IMHO he should be checking in with his cardiologist.
Poor old Arnaud Demare. Strange that he couldnt make the time cut. He didnt have any problem getting over the Cipressa at last year's MSR before going on to win it.
IMHO he should be checking in with his cardiologist.
My post was a subtle dig. Demare wont be missed by the rest of the riders.
I'm glad it's not as exciting asyesterdaySunday - it means I'm actually able to focus on getting some work done...
(corrected with thanks to T42 for highlighting my schoolboy error)
G Imlach: | O hai! And o hai 2 TV’s Nice C Boardman! Comment! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! Teh race needs clearly defined areas ov doubt and uncertainty1! |
G Imlach: | R-i-i-i-i-ght! TV’s D Friebe, tell us Stuffs! |
D Friebe: | O hai! I, TV’s D Friebe, haz here snottyjumper-wearing hair model & fish-botherer M Kitteh. |
M Kitteh: | O hai! I liek fish! Also, miaow! |
D Friebe: | So can u pwn all teh remaining sprint sprint sprintEEEEs in teh race? |
M Kitteh: | Yes. No. Miaow! |
D Friebe: | Sometimes I hate this job! |
N Boulting: | O h… mic.. ne… nt… |
SD Millar: | And a happy birthday 2 u, ***! |
N Boulting: | FdJ. Stupidz or what? |
SD Millar: | More Stupidz than D Tяump after a dose ov liquid cosh. Rain. Reboot! |
N Boulting: | France. Trés French. W Barguil. R Bardet. B Bargeld. T Barman! Trebles all round! Hic! |
Bethany (7): | Isn’t it a bit early 4 that, ***? Super D, plz 2 keep him under control @ lunchtiem! U owe me, remember! |
Shortly… | |
C Prudhomme: | OK. Off u fck! |
Y Offredo: | O hai! I am Y Offredo and I am well weapon, me! But not weapon enuff 2 do 180 km on mi own! |
É Gesbert: | O hai! I am É Gesbert and I am a firestarter. A twisted firestarter! I am in teh break 2 avoid teh pelican taking teh piss! |
800 Journalists: | FAIL – u haz it! World+Dog iz now doning teh lulz @ u, É Gesbert! |
É Gesbert: | Piss! |
K Flint: | It’s not funny! |
Omnes: | Oh. Yes. It. Is! |
In a bit… | |
SD Millar: | Châteaux! Citröens! Bored now! |
N Boulting: | Indeed! Let us see what sumptuous repast Mine Host has prepared 4 us! Radio’s M Smith and ur hostage, do ur thing! |
M Smith: | O hai TV’s M Smith 2 u and mi. Guest is T Pidcock who is an angry young. Man. |
T Pidcock: | Say after me, M Smith, I must learn teh difference between “angry” and “cross”! |
M Smith: | Unwritten rules etiquette assault attack M Rendall! |
M Rendall: | Guten dio mihi tel koyaanikumquat! Reglorumque Arooooooo tischbein blong mŷn unaussprechlichen Külten! Quetzalcoatl og pingu? U bis de juge Robson Green! |
Bethany (7): | M Rendall, plz 2 tell me; what colour is teh sky on ur home planet? |
M Rendall: | Widgeon! |
T Pidcock: | Jelly babies! |
M Smith: | Tour de Yorkshire cobbles Hovis ha ha ha ha. Ha? |
T Pidcock: | Eh? |
Omnes: | That was shot in Dorset, u colossal bellend! |
PM Moron: | U called? |
Omnes: | No. No, we did not. F*uck off! |
M Smith: | M Beaumont world eighty days Russia crashomatic 6000. |
M Beaumont: | Ooh mi teefs! |
Bethany (7): | Tell me about it! |
Later… | |
N Boulting: | SD Millar is sulking again. NC Boardman, château! |
NC Boardman: | Yes. Rubbish maze thobut. |
N Boulting: | Vikings! |
NC Boardman: | Caves! |
N Boulting: | Caves? |
NC Boardman: | Caves! |
N Boulting: | Isn’t France brilliant? |
Bethany (7): | Bit quiet, then? |
NC Boardman: | Yes. Yes, it is. |
N Boulting: | Etiquette! Toilet break! |
NC Boardman: | Peer pressure! |
Bethany (7): | I see what u did there, Niec C lol!!1! |
SD Millar: | Aru! Teh Stupidz! It burns. Idiots. |
N Farage: | Well I say it just goes 2 show that u can’t trust a FOREIGN! |
Omnes: | Go away! |
A good deal later… | |
N Boulting: | Château! England! France! Eleanor ov Aquitaine! |
N Farage: | Unelected BureaucratTM, she was! |
Omnes: | Can’t we get a restraining order slapped on that gobshite, FFS? |
NC Boardman: | MischEEEvus! |
SD Millar: | MisCHIvus! |
N Boulting: | Call teh whole thing off? |
NC Boardman & SD Millar: | Wisest thing u said all day, ***! |
Down teh river… | |
N Boulting: | Sprint sprint sprintEEEE! Oh. That was a bit underwhelming! |
A Greipel: | lol @ M Kitteh! |
N Bouhanni: | Not interested. A Démare haz goned home. I hope hiz car breaks down! |
M Kitteh: | lol @ M Matthews! Also, miaow! |
Into teh closing overs… | |
N Boulting: | No rain. No wind. No fun! |
SD Millar: | AS-TA-NA! STU-PID? OR WHAT? |
N Boulting: | Yes, OK, Super D. U made ur point! |
SD Millar: | (Sulks again…) |
N Boulting: | Teh pelican is catching teh futile break. Oh, wait, they’re not! Or are they? OR ARE THEY? |
SD Millar: | (Sighs) Yes, ***. Yes, they is. |
N Boulting: | Yes, they did. Prepare 4 teh sprint sprint sprintEEEE! |
EC Boardman: | There’ll be a crash, just u wait & see! Heheheheheheheh and, moreover, roffle! |
M Kitteh: | C me bide mi tiem! |
S Cummings: | Oi! That’s mi line! |
M Kitteh: | Don’t knock it, it worked! Also, miaow! |
A Greipel: | WTF? |
EC Boardman: | (Sulks) |
Bethany (7): | Meh! Mountains, SVP! |
Where on earth was A Greipel ???
Where on earth was A Greipel ???
Do you mean M?
Caley Fretz for VeloNews has a nice critique of the waiting that has infested cycling, here (http://www.velonews.com/2017/07/commentary/the-tour-has-been-yellow-fleeced-by-unwritten-rules_443430). I agree with essentially all of it.
Meanwhile N Bouhanni has been given a minute time penalty and a 200 CHF fine for apparently throwing a punch :oOnly a matter of time before he has an unfortunate "accident" off camera involving his jaw and someone else's fist (or feet) methinks.
Meanwhile N Bouhanni has been given a minute time penalty and a 200 CHF fine for apparently throwing a punch :o
......... whereas Sagan got kicked off the tour de france for a crash that, IMO, wasn't his fault? ???
....... Why does Bouhanni get a 200 CHF (~£160) fine and a meaningless 1 minute penalty on GC for throwing a punch, .....
...... Sometimes cycling doesn't make sense. .....
Caley Fretz for VeloNews has a nice critique of the waiting that has infested cycling, here (http://www.velonews.com/2017/07/commentary/the-tour-has-been-yellow-fleeced-by-unwritten-rules_443430). I agree with essentially all of it.
Although cyclists had started in teams previously, the rules had forbidden them to work together against other cyclists. In 1913, this changed, and cyclists from the same team were allowed to work together. The organizers preferred riders to ride solo, so they added a rule that if a cyclist would win a stage with a margin of 20 minutes or more, he would not only get his own prize money, but also the half of all the other cyclists' prize money of that stage.
<snipped>....... Why does Bouhanni get a 200 CHF (~£160) fine and a meaningless 1 minute penalty on GC for throwing a punch, .....
I can only assume those who make the decisions considered the severity of his actions and deemed a fine and time penalty was appropriate.<snipped>
Stage 10: Périgueux->Bergerac
......
M Rendall: Guten dio mihi tel koyaanikumquat! Reglorumque Arooooooo tischbein blong mŷn unaussprechlichen Külten! Quetzalcoatl og pingu? U bis de juge Robson Green!
I think you meant to say "I can only assume those who make the decisions considered his nationality and deemed a fine and time penalty was appropriate." :demon:
"The guys that pull the most faces, you know, they're not the ones doing the most work.. " Cavendish
Nah, Voeckler did loads of [mostly futile] work in his innumerable breakaways. Not to mention hanging off the back of the peloton, just out of reach of the slipstream proper. What’s up with that?
I've always been more of a fan of Sylvain Chavanel. This year is his 17th consecutive appearance at the Tour de France.
Up to a point, Lord Copper. 17th start, but not consecutive.
God. This is dull.
I don't normally watch tennis, but ........
Correction: not a nosebag, somebody rode over a bidet.
Well, this stage has been a load of arse... or was that the numerology segment we were just subjected to in an attempt to pass the time?
N Boulting: | O hai! I, TV’s *** Boulting, haz a headache… |
Bethany (7): | Poor *** lol!! Here iz how much sympathy I haz: 0. Ur as bad as mi Mum! |
Bethany’s Mum: | I ‘eard that, u little scrubber! |
SD Millar: | Armagnac slammers FTW, roffle! |
N Boulting: | I would kill u utterly 2 DETH, SD Millar, if I could see straight. |
G Imlach: | Stop it, children! Or u will go 2 bed without any supper, liek N Bouhanni! |
N Bouhanni: | One @ a time or all together, slags! Maeks no difference 2 me! |
NC Boardman: | Don’t, guv, ‘e’s not worf it! |
Shortly… | |
C Prudhomme: | OK, off u fck! |
SD Millar: | 3 Charlies up teh road, FFS! I’m going back 2 bed! |
N Boulting: | Nooooooo! Don’t leave me here with a) an overhang and b) code-talking oddball M Rendall! |
M Rendall: | Spassibo! Wollastonite para lutefisk met mocha inout shakeitallabout! Autobahndreieck dué falange metalurgiquey boggler boggler beep? Big Vin Diesel Endjinn! |
SD Millar: | - .... .- - ... / . .- ... -.-- / ....- / ..- / ..--- / ... .- -.--! |
N Boulting: | I give up! |
TP Fairy: | O hai! I, TP Fairy, Enemy ov teh Proletariat and general bastardo, am on teh prowl! O hai, A Contador! Stab stabbity stabEEEE! |
A Contador: | Piss! Still, we approach teh Spaign-o, which will maek it much easier 4 me 2 sneak off home after C Froome kicks sand in mi face again! |
C Froome: | Kick! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Just call me “Mr Apollo”! |
N Boulting: | Right, tiem 4 fur ov teh dog! HAIR! M Smith and captive, maek with narrative! |
B-Dog: | Woof, woof! Sausages! |
M Smith: | O hai and o hai 2 JR Shand who. Iz mi slave today say hello JR Shand! |
JR Shand: | O hai! Y do I have 2 wear these handcuffs? I’m riding l’Etape! |
M Smith: | Right and now on teh electric telephone iz M Earley. Who iz a chiropractor in Staffordshire. |
M Earley: | I am not a fukn chiropractor u git! |
FX: Anvil landing in skip full ov bottles | |
M Smith: | Oooooh tetchy those were teh days! |
JR Shand: | I’m riding l’Etape1! What’s teh car battery and crocogator clips 4? |
M Smith: | Hahaha château EO Aquitaine those were teh days tomatoes! |
JR Shand: | Sounds liek fun. I’m riding l’Etape! Nearly 200 km! |
AUK: | Gosh, ur hard, roffle! |
Repeat, with variations… | |
JR Shand: | I’m riding l’Etape! |
Nine hundred million pine trees later… | |
N Boulting: | Les Landes! Napoléon III! |
SD Millar: | Foie gras! |
NC Boardman: | Bouhanni! Arsehole! |
N Boulting: | (Incomprehensible bobbins about French A-level) |
NC Boardman: | Insufficient châteaux! Money back, plz! |
SD Millar: | EO Aquitaine! |
Nine hundred million pine trees later… | |
D Cataldo: | O HAI! WHAT KIND OV FU-KN ID-I-OT LEAVES A BI-DET IN TEH ROAD?2 |
JR Shand: | I’m riding l’Etape! |
N Boulting: | M Rendall, |
M Rendall: | Numerôlogo kabbalah došśardo! Nedwin hahahaha! Demi almirante didjit blong um septuagesima wildebeest! Leaf spring? |
N Boulting: | Get! Out! |
Nine hundred million pine trees later… | |
N Boulting: | R Bardet… back in teh beak ov teh pelican… |
SD Millar: | (Snoring…) |
Nine hundred million pine trees later… | |
M Bodnar: | O hai! Right, I iz off! |
A Contador: | So iz I. And not in a good way. |
JJ Jarlinsson: | Ph3@r not, A Contador! I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, will save u! |
M Kitteh: | M Bodnar! Bring him! Bring him 2 me! Also, miaow! |
T Quickstep: | Yeth, mathter! |
M Bodnar: | Piss! |
M Kitteh: | Mi! AOW! Iz liek playing Tetris! |
Bethany (7): | What did he just say? |
JR Shand: | I’m riding l’Etape! |
Greipel will probably get his act together on the Champs Elysée only for Bouhanni to nail him with a right cross 10 metres from the line.
"That's five for von Kittel!!"
16:28:19 CEST
It looks like Nieve went into the grass too and had to thread a needle by riding through the parked camper vans and over some poor family's picnic.
I''m not watching and I don't understand the reference but are you talking aboutQuote16:28:19 CEST
It looks like Nieve went into the grass too and had to thread a needle by riding through the parked camper vans and over some poor family's picnic.
Time to go home now aand leave the texts udates - sounds like tonight's highlights will be good.
I''m not watching and I don't understand the reference but are you talking aboutQuote16:28:19 CEST
It looks like Nieve went into the grass too and had to thread a needle by riding through the parked camper vans and over some poor family's picnic.
Time to go home now aand leave the texts udates - sounds like tonight's highlights will be good.
G Imlach: | O hai! 2day we visit teh place where Bond James Bond blew up loads ov Stuff & killed loads ov baddies utterly 2 DETH! |
T Astana: | O RLY! WE THOUGHT THAT WAS NEAR US! |
G Imlach: | No, T Astana. No, it was not. TV’s C Boardmen, pundit us! |
EC Boardman: | O hai! I, TV’s Evil C Boardman think that ur suggestion ov a henchman garrotting C Froome haz legs! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, say teh other GC contenders need 2 stop attacking each other and attack C Froome. |
EC Boardman: | Yes, that’s what I said! |
N Boulting: | Come on, C Prudhomme, do ur thing! |
C Prudhomme: | Ur having a giraffe! It’s raining! I iz not sticking mi head-branes out ov teh motor until I absolutely haz 2! |
SD Millar: | O hai! 2day’s word iz “hyperbole”. HY-PER-BO-LE. Hyperbole! Iz S Cummings biding hiz tiem? |
N Boulting: | He may be. Or he may not. It iz important 2 keep ur hyperbole dry on a day liek this. |
Bethany (7): | o hai y they not saev this stage 4 teh weekend or teh holibobz teh gits??!? mi mum sez if I bunk of skool agen shell rip mi nippulz of teh fukn old c-o-w whats a gril 2 do eh txt me if anyfink hapenz xXx bthny |
C Prudhomme: | OK! Off u fck! |
After a good deal ov pointless breaklets, catches, dicking about & W Barguil… | |
SD Millar: | Sunweb. WTF they playing at? W Barguil! |
N Boulting: | On a day liek 2 day iz important not 2 let teh hyperbole out ov teh bag 2 soon! |
M Kitteh: | CAT! It’s “let teh CAT out ov teh bag”, u gr8 tool! Also, miaow! |
After sum blipverts… | |
N Boulting: | Break! w00t! S Cummings! TD Gendt! M Matthews! And M Kitteh! |
M Matthews: | If CP Sagan can do it then so can I! |
M Kitteh: | If M Matthews can do it then I, M Kitteh, can do it also. 4 sure and, moreover, miaow! |
SD Millar: | w00t indeed, ***! Now 2 that London, where M Smith and P York will lay sum hyperbole on us woo yeah baby! |
P York: | Just want 2 check, iz SD Millar behaving liek an adult 2day? |
N Boulting: | Yes. Yes, he is. 4 now… |
M Smith: | O hai! Aren’t Pyrenées brilliant! |
P York: | Yes. Yes, they are. If they are b4 Alps. Alps iz teh suxx0r! Bah! |
Rather l8r than might be optimal… | |
Bethany (7): | O hai! Wot’s teh score? |
NC Boardman: | 0-0. Mite go 2 xtra tiem. |
Bethany (7): | ta NC! Tiem 4 skool dinner bleurgh chips beanz not a kumquat in site ffs i blaem teh slithy gove! |
N Farage: | Wash ur mouth out with soap, young lady! I bet ur one ov those remoaners! |
Bethany (7): | Hope I die b4 I get as old & stupidz as u, u gr8 sexist jizzbadger! |
N Boulting: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! |
M Matthews: | Yay! MOAR points 4 me! LOL @ M Kitteh! |
M Kitteh: | Was it really worth all that effort, u silly Antipodean fule? Also, miaow! |
N Boulting: | Cat 2 climb coming! Danger and excitement! We’re off 2 lunch! |
SD Millar: | Got 2 feed ur inner hyperbole, innit! |
After even yet MOAR shitverts… | |
N Boulting: | Let us pause a second, Super D, and listen 2 this sonically-challenged Frenchman and his punk rock electric guitar! |
ML Maire: | (Ponders advisability ov playing punk rock electric guitar in pissing rain) |
M Cavendish: | V Nibbles iz a good descender compared 2 people who are not good descenders1! |
Omnes: | O RLY? |
SD Millar: | w00t! First cat climb! |
M Kitteh: | First kitteh on teh first cat lol! Tiem 4 me 2 disappear. Also, miaow! |
S Cummings: | C me bide mi tiem! |
Up teh Menté… | |
M Matthews: | C me sprint 4 teh spottypoints! I told u I was crazy! |
TD Gendt: | U utter git, M Matthews! |
W Barguil: | Thx, M Matthews! |
Omnes: | Cheese it, M Matthews, ur not CP Sagan and that is teh end ov it! |
M Matthews: | Where iz everyone? |
Omnes: | Do a wheelie lol!! |
Up teh Khyber… | |
N Boulting: | Tiem 4 Jackanory with Vsquared’s rnser 2 TV’s B Cribbins! M Rendall, gibberise teh view0rz! |
M Rendall: | Makalu, ti brat moi! Peyragude gwan mashup ik pemë ati fiara zaridaina! Wake up, Millar! Her tistê ku hêriyan bû? C Froome? Te pene o toku whaea keke, MOAR liek! Ace ov suede! |
N Boulting: | Very interesting. In parts. |
M Rendall: | Erokeria, ***! Çox sevirem! |
Bethany (7): | And N Farage haz teh nerve 2 call me a rudesby! |
M Rendall: | U speke Basque & Azerbaijani :o |
Up teh Balés… | |
N Boulting: | V Kiryienka! Wearing a V Kiryienka mask2! |
SD Millar: | Action, yes, conversation, no! GV Avermaet, E [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]ez, PT Voeckler! All fscked! |
TD Gendt: | O hai! I haz had teh spottyjumper b4 & by God! I shall haz it agane! |
S Cummings: | Tiem bided! O hai, TD Gendt! |
TD Gendt: | Urk! |
J Birdsong: | O bai! I pulled into Nazareth, was feeling ‘bout half past dead! |
F Aru: | WTF? Y mi team fall 2 bitz? |
S Cummings: | I iz out ov heah! Bai, TD Gendt! |
TD Gendt: | Arse! |
T $ky: | O hai, TD Gendt! |
TD Gendt: | FFS! Y everyone picking on me? |
W Barguil: | MOAR spottyjumper points 4 meeeeeeeeee! Yay! |
Bethany (7): | w00t! Even tho ur not mi dad after all! |
C Gautier: | Hello clouds hello sky hello mud! Oops! Back 2 teh pelican! |
Up teh Peyresourde… | |
M Nieve: | WTF! Where did teh road go? |
C Froome: | Never a dull moment, eh, readers! |
Omnes: | U only had 2 ride yesterday’s stage, C Froome, not watch it! |
N Quintana: | O hai! Mi naem iz |
S Cummings: | Bum! L8rs! |
Bethany (7): | I’m home! This iz MOAR liek it! Keep ur eye on that F Aru, C Froome! Tiem bonuses! |
C Froome: | Ur nana & eggses, Bethany (7)! |
Bethany (7): | Mi nana wouldn’t even recognise a eggs 2 tiems out ov 3! |
Up teh Péragude… | |
A Contador: | O hai! How far iz it 2 Spaign-o from here? |
F Aru: | Arooooooo! Ect. Oh. |
R Bardet: | Yay! |
C Froome: | WTF? |
F Aru: | \o/ Shinyjumper 4 meeeeeeee! |
Bethany (7): | That’s gonna liven things up a bit, innit! |
I'm not sure that having a well-drilled team is all you need.
Any news on Porte?
<not reading posts since lunchtime until watching Highlights prog tonight>
Interpretation of the rule apparently infringed is probably open to question: "Feeding is prohibited on climbs, descents and during the first 50 and last 20 km", specifically what constitutes "feeding".
Oh dear!Any news on Porte?
<not reading posts since lunchtime until watching Highlights prog tonight>
Well I watched some of today's feed on the US MSNBC feed with Phil and Paul (my best HD English soundtrack option).
Phil managed to drop a "...Richie Froome..." - just like the last few years :facepalm:
Our parrot has started saying "w00t", with a mildly interrogative lift.
Meanwhile, what's with the nose ring?
Our parrot has started saying "w00t", with a mildly interrogative lift.
Meanwhile, what's with the nose ring?
A nasal dilator called Turbine
Link - may contain traces of woo
https://www.theturbine.com (https://www.theturbine.com)
Interesting. I was poking around letour.fr earlier and couldn't find any mention of any penalties at all. Move along. Nothing to see here. Positively no black helicopters. Not in the public interest. National security ["Cont. p94 of 'Hansard'" - Ed.]
Interesting. I was poking around letour.fr earlier and couldn't find any mention of any penalties at all. Move along. Nothing to see here. Positively no black helicopters. Not in the public interest. National security ["Cont. p94 of 'Hansard'" - Ed.]
Penalties for Uran and Bennett are still on LeTours Stage 12 results page.Cyclingweekly is running the time penalty reversal story. Bad decision for me, time penalty is clear in this cse and it is also clear that Bardet should not be penalised as he is the best placed Frenchman. When you guys get your own worthwhile national tour you can bend the rules too.
Mind you, after 214km I think I'd I've been pushing my bike up the last really steep bit. I know they are made from different material to us, but I'd still want every drug available, to keep me going day after day, cycling like that.
I'm not sure that having a well-drilled team is all you need.
You are right. He needs a mystery package.
I watched the replay early this morning on Eurosport and I was thinking "bloody well attack ya twat!" He had two of the strongest domestiques. Should have splintered the group with 1-1.5km to go!
*that steep bit is a ROAD! haha...
If you watch closely its obvious what happened. Landa was looking like he wasn't trying whilstputting the pain on everyone else, whereas Froome even asked him to slow down.
I don't agree with booing Froome.Then they aren't paying attention. Last year's budgets from L'Equipe:
Would we all cheer if an Italian, French or Belgian team spent ten times as much the other teams and won by basically buying the victory? Coz that's how Sky are viewed by non-Brits.
If you watch closely its obvious what happened. Landa was looking like he wasn't trying whilstputting the pain on everyone else, whereas Froome even asked him to slow down.
Accidental swapping of jiffy bags. Simples.
Im really pleased. It'll make for a far more dynamic race over the next week. I know there will be a few upset at the thought of Sky losing, especially Veloman who seems to have a boner for Froome.
G Imlach: | O hai! Bottles! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! Bottles! No eating, no cheating, no looking out of teh window, no slang, no slide rules! Dividers may be used – NOT ON EACH OTHER! Rubbish rule! |
G Bennett: | O hai! What rules? I know nothing! |
G Imlach: | French rider? Bad show! |
C Prudhomme: | Bof! U Ingleesh! |
Soon… | |
N Boulting: | O hai! Futile break, total control, something in teh middle? A Contador? |
SD Millar: | O hai! Yes, no and maybe. |
N Boulting: | Thx 4 that, Super D! (Aside…) Idiot! |
M Kitteh: | At least teh sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE is only 13 km in 2da. Also, miaow! |
C Prudhomme: | OK. Off u fck! |
PT Voeckler: | C’est le 14 de Juillet! C me and my tongue attack! |
W Barguil: | And spottypoints 4 meeeeeeee! |
J Birdsong: | Oi, pelican! Plz 2 wait 4 me? I need you, oh how I need you! But all you do is treat me bad, break mi heart and leave me sad! |
Omnes: | Get tae fck, J Birdsong! Ur so-called Mum wasn’t even on that record! |
Shortly… | |
N Boulting: | And now P York! |
M Smith: | What about me? |
N Boulting: | Shut! Up! |
P York: | Did C Froome forget 2 eat hiz lunch yesterday? Or what? |
AD Marchi: | O hai! I am AD Marchi and I am made ov teh Win! Enough dckng abt, I iz off! |
W Barguil: | I, W Barguil, iz also off! |
Bethany (7): | Yay! |
AD Marchi & W Barguil: | Oh. Arse! |
A Contador: | Do not be fooled! I iz just looking 4 teh road 2 Spaign-o! |
C Froome: | M Landa! Discipline these miscreants! |
M Landa: | Yeth, mathter! |
SD Millar: | Wot a mess! Brilliant! |
N Boulting: | AG2R! M Landa! Virtual shinyjumper? |
Up teh hill… | |
W Barguil: | MOAR spottypoints 4 meeeeeeee! |
Bethany (7): | w00t! |
SD Millar: | AG2R! |
Down teh hill… | |
C Froome: | M Kwiatkowski! Kill them! |
M Kwiatkowski: | Yeth, mathter! |
Round teh houses… | |
M Kwiatkowski: | Thorry, mathter! A Contador & M Landa are 2 fatht! |
C Froome: | Then I am very much afraid I shall have 2 turn u into an okapi! |
M Kwiatkowski: | Oooh, thank u, mathter! |
On teh moon… | |
W Barguil: | w00t! MOAR spottypoints 4 meeeeee! |
Bethany (7): | Yay! U sure ur not mi Dad? |
C Froome: | Now I will kill u all! Except u, D Martin! I am saving u 4 later! Oh. |
SD Millar: | I no longer haz any idea what iz going on! |
N Boulting: | Nor I, Super D, nor I! |
D Martin: | O hai! I care not a fig 4 ur shinyjumper ambitions, C Froome & F Aru! I haz mi own race 2 consider! |
W Barguil: | C me lurk! |
R Urán: | Right, u gr8 ponces, watch this! |
T Pelican: | O RLY? |
R Urán: | No. Only joking. |
S Yates: | O hai! With teh juniorshinyjumper @ stake, I too will haz a go! |
N Boulting: | Conspiracy theory? C Froome does not want M Landa in teh shinyjumper? |
SD Millar: | No, ***! Absolutely not! Nononononono, yes! |
Enfin… | |
W Barguil: | \o/ Et vive la France! |
A Contador: | Fooled u! LOL!!1! |
Bethany (7): | (Performs vigorous dance routine) |
Bethany’s Mum: | Bef’ny! Shut ur noiz, u little show-off! |
If you watch closely its obvious what happened. Landa was looking like he wasn't trying whilstputting the pain on everyone else, whereas Froome even asked him to slow down.
Accidental swapping of jiffy bags. Simples.
Im really pleased. It'll make for a far more dynamic race over the next week. I know there will be a few upset at the thought of Sky losing, especially Veloman who seems to have a boner for Froome.
Yawn, yawn Flatus and perhaps the posting says more about you than me.
I don't see Sky losing as what I'm currently watching just shows how strong Sky are and how they have more than one rider with GC options in their team. All the pressure on Aru or Landa in yellow jumper and Sky get another trophy for the front of the bus.
There are 5 riders within a minute of each other. This race is wide open. Froome will probably still win (unfortunately) just off the back of time-trialling.Exciting isn't it? I'm not so sure that CF will be able to win through the time trials. If wasn't just an off day then I think he might lose significant amounts of time on the next set of mountain stages; more than can be recovered on the TTs. I'd *quite* like CF to win becos stupid vaguely "patriotic" reasons, but I think I'd be even more pleased to see Bardet win.
I must admit, I'm not sure about the critiscism of the flat boring stages. You want pure sprint finishes? You need flat boring stages. You want fun in the mountains? You need the flat boring stages in between.
A multi-lap stage on a closed circuit was one suggestion.
Can someone tell me what a 'virtual shiny jumper is please. ???
Ps I noes what teh shiny jumper is, it's the virtual that confuses me.
Oh I dont know. That might be one LA allusion too many. Porte is as good now as he ever was. Landa was pretty dodgy before he joined Sky. He looks really dodgy now.
A multi-lap stage on a closed circuit was one suggestion.
Like what they have done in the Vuelta before?
http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/vuelta-a-espana-2014/stage-12/results/
Aru: WTF? Get near the front for the finish :facepalm:
“He just didn’t stay on my wheel so it’s hard to keep him at the front,” Aru’s Astana teammate Michael Valgren said.
“It was kind of a lottery to be at the front, I don’t know what happened to Fabio to be honest.”
G Imlach: | O hai! Transition. Lumps. GV Avermaet! |
GV Avermaet: | O hai! Plz 2 not be laying this on me agane! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! M Matthews! M Kitteh dropped liek 60lb sack ov covfefe flung over Mexico-US border! With a trebuchet! Oh yes! |
N Boulting: | O hai! GC contenders! Wind! Sunweb, BMC, Wind! S Cummings! |
S Cummings: | Tiem? I iz biding. It. |
SD Millar: | O hai! Is it Norway House, Manitoba? |
N Boulting: | No, Super D. No, it is not. Do they not have Google in Girona, FFS? |
Omnes: | Ottawa, SD Millar! It’s fukn Ottawa, u menk! |
SD Millar: | (Sulks) |
N Boulting: | Now look wot u done! He’s gonna be Mr Mardypants all day! |
Inevitably… | |
PT Voeckler: | O hai! C Prudhomme, plz 2 get on with it! |
TD Gendt: | O hai! I, TD Gendt, offishul Racing Beast & tactical bag ov carrots, endorse this product, service or sentiment! |
C Prudhomme: | OK. Off U fck! PT Voeckler, do ur thing! |
PT Voeckler: | Yeth, mathter! (Exit, pursued by TD Gendt, M Bouet & T Roosen) |
N Boulting: | On the electric telephone, G Thomas! G Thomas? |
G Thomas: | O hai! Tour ov BRITAIN? Cardiff! Pub? |
Omnes: | Pub! |
Exeunt omnes… | |
T Katusha: | R Hollenstein! Stop those pigeons! |
R Hollenstein: | Who, me? |
T Katusha: | Yes, u! |
R Hollenstein: | Couldn’t u have told me this twenty minutes ago? |
T Katusha: | We’re telling u now! Off u fck! |
R Hollenstein: | Sometimes I hate this job! |
Later… | |
Bethany (7): | o hai looks liek another 1 ov them transitional things txt me if ne thing happens ect ect sa hi 2 g thomas 4 us mi bff 5 sez hes reely style lol xXx bthny |
G Thomas: | I’ll be safe in teh pub. Won’t I? |
Laterer… | |
EC Boardman: | O hai! I am TV's Evil C Boardman, and he who would cross teh |
N Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's *** Boulting! |
EC Boardman: | What is ur quest? |
N Boulting: | I seek, er, teh Enlightenment via Expense-Account Lunches! |
EC Boardman: | WHAT… is teh definition ov a HAMLET! |
N Boulting: | I haz no ideAAARRRGGGH! |
EC Boardman: | And so perish all enemies ov teh Queen! |
Meanwhile… | |
M Smith: | O hai! TV’s M Smith here, and TV’s P York. P York, knowledge us! |
P York: | Iz SD Millar still sulking? |
N Boulting: | No. No, he is not. Because he’s asleep. Agane. |
P York: | I do hope no-one thinks we’re related! |
M Smith: | Swimming pools? |
P York: | No-one in them, or even next 2 them. WTF? |
Omnes: | With those TV helichopters sticking their long-range cameras up ur nose? |
P York: | A good point, well-made. |
M Smith: | Perhaps they are watching teh Tour? |
Omnes: | Shut! Up! |
1964flyingscot: | Radio? |
P York: | Video! |
M Smith: | Boogie with a suitcase! |
Omnes: | Get! Out! |
After nothing happened… | |
N Boulting: | O hai, M Cavendish! Bored yet! |
M Cavendish: | Eeeee, yer a right borin’ little tit, our ***! |
TP Fairy: | O hai! Remember me, TP Fairy, teh one who maeks gammon-faced pig botherer D Cameron look liek Sir D Attenborough? |
T Roosen: | Go! Away! |
TP Fairy: | Shan’t! Stab, stabbity, stabEEEE! |
T Roosen: | U git, TP Fairy! |
After teh first hill… | |
Bethany (7): | Any excitement yet? |
SD Millar: | Not a lot. Oh, M Kitteh haz been dropped by teh pelican! |
M Kitteh: | Come back and fight, u windy militants! Also, miaow! |
S Cummings: | O hai! I may just hav bided too much tiem. Oops! |
N Boulting: | TD Gendt, PT Voeckler! |
SD Millar: | M Kitteh, S Cummings! |
On teh second hill… | |
M Bouet: | Bai! |
R Hollenstein: | This ^^^^. Sometimes I wish I’d stayed a sparky! |
M Kitteh: | Noes! Dropped agane! Miaow and, moreover, FFS! |
At last orders… | |
PT Voeckler: | U utter git, TD Gendt! |
TD Gendt: | Catch me if u can lol!!1! |
At closing time… | |
TD Gendt: | Arse! |
After teh last bus... | |
M Matthews: | Yay! MOAR snottypoints 4 meeeeee! |
GV Avermaet: | I told u, ***! Wnkr! |
F Aru: | Aroooooooh, er, bugger! |
C Froome: | O hai, F Aru! I believe that iz mi shinyjumper! |
Bethany (7): | That’s put teh kitteh among teh pigeons, eh? |
M Kitteh: | Wha’evs and, moreover, miaow! |
More top-notch awareness and tactics by Team Sky.
Ouch.Quote“He just didn’t stay on my wheel so it’s hard to keep him at the front,” Aru’s Astana teammate Michael Valgren said.
“It was kind of a lottery to be at the front, I don’t know what happened to Fabio to be honest.”
http://www.velonews.com/stages/2017-tour-de-france-stage-14
Astana
0.25" Aru
1.14" Zeits
2.18" Valgren
6.28" Lutsenko
13.17" Grivko
13.17" Kozhatayev
13.17" Gruzdev
Unless Aru was really suffering and had borrowed the legs Froome had on Stage 11 on Wednesday
Maybe Aru is actually cooked?From what I saw on the magic goldfish bowl he didn't look in terribly good shape coming up to the line at today's stage, but looks can be deceiving.
Ouch.Ouch indeed!Quote“He just didn’t stay on my wheel so it’s hard to keep him at the front,” Aru’s Astana teammate Michael Valgren said.
“It was kind of a lottery to be at the front, I don’t know what happened to Fabio to be honest.”
http://www.velonews.com/stages/2017-tour-de-france-stage-14
From what I saw on the magic goldfish bowl he didn't look in terribly good shape coming up to the line at today's stage, but looks can be deceiving.
It was nice to see Vin Denson on the ITV4 highlights. I can remember riding a 50 with him in the field in the late 1990s. Some good anecdotes from him.
[/quote
first time ITV coverage has been better than Eurosport with Pippa and David as well. Vin was great, direct and entertaining
More top-notch awareness and tactics by Team Sky.
Because they treated it like it was a bike race?
Seems to me more like ineptitude on Aru's part than genius on Sky's.
Is it just me, or are those "sponsored by Watchfinder" adverts a bit gay? I mean, they out-Rapha Rapha for homoerotic MAMIL closeups and the slo-mo is bizarre*
*unless he's just not very fit and actually rides at that pace
I’m not claiming genius but good planning, high awareness on the road, and tactics and team strength to make the most of any opportunity. Astana sadly lacks all of these except reliably good tactics when situational awareness is high.
Sure, it’s all just treating it as a bike race, but why don’t the others do that then? The answer is that it’s hard, requiring consistently high effort and motivation from all team members.
Gripping stage today.
Any idea what the nature of Froome’s mechanical was? At first I thought it was a bike swap but I see from the highlights that it was a rear wheel swap.
Is it just me, or are those "sponsored by Watchfinder" adverts a bit gay?
Gripping stage today.
Any idea what the nature of Froome’s mechanical was? At first I thought it was a bike swap but I see from the highlights that it was a rear wheel swap.
Puncture. At least that what was said during interview. Hence why he was having difficulty staying with the group. Had it have been a real 'mechanical' (such as mech or shifters) he would not have swapped wheels to solve problem. Might. Had a spoke problem but I doubt it.
Things had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,
Quote from: FroomeThings had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,
Is it just me
Froome being booed in the Col de Peyra Taillade. Not nice. :( It's Bardet's home turf and Auvergnats are famously mean.
OTOH today I met a French guy in Sky shorts.
Hang on. A few years ago the deal was rounder wheels, according to Baldy Brailsford. Now they want wheels that stay straight. It's a right old puzzle.Quote from: FroomeThings had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,
Thanks!
Gripping stage today.
Any idea what the nature of Froome’s mechanical was? At first I thought it was a bike swap but I see from the highlights that it was a rear wheel swap.
Puncture. At least that what was said during interview. Hence why he was having difficulty staying with the group. Had it have been a real 'mechanical' (such as mech or shifters) he would not have swapped wheels to solve problem. Might. Had a spoke problem but I doubt it.Quote from: FroomeThings had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,
O hai! P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® Daily TdF Fake News has been delayed coz [excuses]
Hang on. A few years ago the deal was rounder wheels, according to Baldy Brailsford. Now they want wheels that stay straight. It's a right old puzzle.Quote from: FroomeThings had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,
Thanks!
Bethany (7): | o hai off round 2 5s agane coz i xspec mi mumll be inna fowl mood agane when she wakes up f aru wot woz that all about eh wot u rekn 1st cat 30 k from finish r bardet if onli cp sagan was ere sa hi 2 g thomas l8rs xXx bthny |
G Thomas: | Is it safe? |
Omnes: | Ooh, hark @ Laurence Olivier lol! |
G Thomas: | Noes, I mean “Is it safe 4 me 2 come out ov teh pub yet?” |
Omnes: | U scared ov teh little gurlz, G Thomas roffle? Thort u woz hard! |
G Thomas: | Fck off, u gits! |
Bethany (7): | Get tae fck, u patronising apes! I don’t pla ur macho power games! |
G Thomas: | C wot I mean? |
G Imlach: | O hai! Careless talk costs lives, G Thomas! Difficult stage 2 call? |
NC Boardman: | O hai! F Aru, tactics. Rubbish! Not R Bardet 2da thobut. |
C Prudhomme: | Release teh bats! |
Omnes: | U wot? |
N Boulting: | O hai! That was a bit previous, C Prudhomme! |
SD Millar: | O hai! W Barguil at it agane! |
N Boulting: | M Matthews? Snottyjumper? |
SD Millar: | No. Yes. Ructions in teh break. Will they? Or not? |
N Boulting: | Reboot! |
SD Millar: | GV Avermaet! |
GV Avermaet: | Shut! Up! FFS… |
A Contador: | Minionth! Theize them! Thwow them 2 teh floor! |
TT Segafredo: | Who, us? |
A Contador: | Yes, u! |
B Mollema: | Sometimes I hate this job! |
W Barguil: | Pish 2 thee, Spaignish cur! |
Bethany (7): | Yay 4 W Barguil! |
T $ky: | We don’t think so, A Contador! |
Stasis… | |
M Smith: | …G Thomas… not with us today… pub possibly involved… |
5: | Awwwww! |
D Hutch: | …M Matthews… M Kitteh… snottyjumper… CP Sagan… |
M Kitteh: | Go! Away! Also, miaow! |
D Friebe: | O hai! And o hai 2 USAnian 4mer president ov vice J Kerry! |
J Kerry: | (Coherent and sensible answers) |
In a while… | |
N Boulting: | Sprint sprint sprintEEEE soon! I see TV’s Nice C Boardman haz returned from hiz afternoon nap! Will teh T Quickstep rider in teh break do teh unmentionable on M Matthews’ chips? |
NC Boardman: | No. No, he will not. Because there isn’t one! |
N Boulting: | I, um, er, F Aru? |
NC Boardman: | Astana. Useless berks. They had one job! |
T $ky: | LOL @ TEAM DA-LEK! |
M Matthews: | Yay! MOAR snottypoints 4 meeeeee! & LOL @ M Kitteh! |
M Kitteh: | |
N Boulting: | So, Super D Millar, now u has woked up from ur afternoon nap, informationise us! |
SD Millar: | Sunweb! TD Gendt! S Calamityjane! |
L Calamityjane: | Did he call me “Sue” again! I will kill u, SD Millar! Kill u utterly 2 DETH! |
SD Millar: | (Whistles innocently) |
N Boulting: | So. Santiago de Compostheap! |
SD Millar: | Compostela! |
N Boulting: | Yes, that as well. Beast ov Gévaudan! Wolf, gangsta rapper, dog, serial killer, wolfdog, rabid puffin, hyæna, J Alaphilippe with a strop on? Giant stoat, lion, TD Gendt? Or wot? |
Bethany’s Mum: | Strap-on? U filfy fukrs! An’ wot ‘ave u preverts dun wif mi dor’er? |
N Boulting: | Jacques Prévert? |
5’s Mummy: | It’s awl Air-Kay, Ms de Sade! Bethany is at air hoyse. Eating a kumquat! |
Bethany (7): | Om nom nom nom! Ooh, mi toof’s come out! |
TP Fairy: | Not in mi job description. Soz. |
SD Millar: | (Improvising desperately…) Werewolf! |
F Aru: | Arooooooo! Better stay away from me! I’ll rip ur lungs out, ***! |
Omnes: | Roffle!!1! U couldn’t rip ur way thru teh wet paper bag! |
Soon… | |
N Boulting: | Look, see, T Martin iz doning an attack! Curse u, T Martin, 4 spoiling mi Barghest/Barguil joak funneh comedy gag! |
SD Millar: | Don’t get it, ***! |
N Boulting: | U mean u haz not read Prof Larrington’s bok “Land Ov Teh Green Man”, now1 available in papperbok and endorsed by literature’s N Gaiman? |
SD Millar: | No. No, I haz not. |
Omnes: | U |
T Martin: | O hai and, moreover, wha-hey! |
Meanwhile… | |
R Bardet: | Right, get ‘em, lads! |
T AG2R: | Yeth, mathter! |
F Aru: | Arooooooo! Mind if I join u? |
A Contador: | I, A Contador, will also haz some ov that! |
C Froome: | Yoicks! |
T Gremlin2: | O hai, C Froome! C mi Snippity Things ov Doom? Ka-pinngggg! LOL! |
C Froome: | FFS! Where mi team gone? Outtathaway, u sloboyz! |
Meanwhile… | |
W Barguil: | O hai, T Martin! |
T Martin: | Piss! |
Bethany (7): | \o/ Yay 4 W Barguil! |
Meanwhile… | |
L France: | BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! |
C Froome: | Fck off! |
M Landa: | On me |
C Froome: | Ta! |
R Bardet: | WTF! I killed u utterly 2 DETH! |
N Quintana: | (From a long way away…) U killed mi father! Prepare 2… bugger! |
Meanwhile… | |
B Mollema: | C me & mi aerosnout fck off! |
W Barguil: | Not if I haz a sa in things! |
Meanwhile… | |
S Yates: | I, er, arse! |
D Martin: | Mi turn! Oh! |
M Landa: | Oh no u don’t, sonny! (Aside) I want MOAR money 4 this job! |
D Martin: | O RLY? |
Enfin… | |
B Mollema: | \o/ Aero roolz! |
Enfin part deux… | |
D Martin: | Yay! Thx, S Geschke & ur hipsta beard! |
C Froome: | Yay! Thx, M Landa! |
R Bardet: | WTF! Seven fukn domestiques and I still can’t drop C Froome! U useless fukn basket cases! Get out ov mi site3! |
Bethany (7): | Wowsa! That was worth staying in 4! |
Thank you Mr L for your hilarious race recaps! Here in the antipodes we don't have Mr Boulting, Mr Millar or even the nice Mr Boardman, but that just adds to the slightly surreal nature of your posts.
Thus, in spite of P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® being beastly to him 4 teh lulz, he does have some claim to know what he's talking about.
G Imlach: | French as a baguette, changing yet changeless as canal water, nestling in green nowhere, armoured and effete, feudal, still-reactionary Tour de France… |
Omnes: | U nicked that off ov V Stanshall! |
G Imlach: | Chiz curses foiled agane! |
Bethany (7): | o hai ur rest day prog betta be gude and havs teh funy wif niec c boardman an *** or 5 sez her dad wil su u utterly 2 DETH teh so-called “toofairy” neva caem 4 my toof last nite plz 2 |
G Imlach: | O hai! So after a week in which C Froome has lost teh shinyjumper, regained teh shinyjumper and come perilously close 2 losing teh shinyjumper again, we asked some highly-qualified experts, and TV’s *** Boulting, 4 their op!ons as 2 whether he can keep teh shinyjumper all teh way 2 Paris! |
N Boulting: | How do u know that inside me, TV’s *** Boulting, there’s not a highly-qualified expert trying 2 get out? |
G Imlach: | Say “Aaaaaah” & I’ll look 4 him! Ba-dum, tish! |
Omnes: | G Imlach: ur made ov teh FAIL. Plz 2 leave teh bunker! |
G Imlach: | OK, u win, race summary instead… |
SD Millar & N Boulting: | M Kitteh, TEAM AS-TA-NA, M Kitteh, T $ky, A Contador, C Froome, F Aru, R Bardet, W Barguil, C Froome & M Kitteh! |
M Kitteh: | Miaow! |
R Urán: | Oi! Wot about me? |
N Boulting: | M Landa? Spaniard in teh works? lol! |
Omnes: | And u stole that off ov J Lennon! |
N Boulting: | Piss! |
D Friebe: | O hai! C Froome, tell us Stuffs! |
C Froome: | Blah blah team blah blah blah legs blah blah R Urán blah! |
M Rendall: | Eu holã! R Bardet! |
R Bardet: | Blah team blah blah F Aru blah C Froome blah blah D Martin blah R Urán! |
Omnes: | Y u not got teh juniorshinyjumper, R Bardet? U look about 12 lol!!1! |
R Bardet: | Fck off, u spotty Ingleesh types! I haz a degree! U lot doan look liek u even got a temperature! |
Omnes: | Yoicks! That’s us told! |
M Rendall: | Octopus pro diem D Martin exjecto? Alto Manni comme cockadoodleping! Boink! |
D Martin: | Yes, it hurts. 4 sure. R Urán. Galibier. C Froome! 4 sure. (Aside) What did he just say? |
R Urán: | That’s MOAR liek it! |
D Friebe: | Transfer market. Blah. M Kitteh, hair. M Landa. SD Brailsford. Rumour McRumourbungle. Lots ov blah, signifying 0. |
G Imlach: | NC Boardman, baffle us with unwritten roolz! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! Black, white, fifty shades ov teal! V Nibbles boo! F Aru boo! It’s a load ov old t00t! |
SD Millar: | Mi fantasy team iz… |
Omnes: | Hat! Hat! SD Millar haz teh poncy straw hat! There, on teh table! Hat! |
SD Millar: | Ur all gay! C me & *** play teh goat! |
Omnes: | Another hat! Gr8 poncy blue & white flat cap! U look liek a X between TV’s F Dibnah & a butcher’s apron! |
SD Millar: | Fck! Off! |
G Imlach: | Cut! CUT!!1! R Gilmore, quick! La Course! |
R Gilmore: | L Deignan, M Vos, AV Vleuten! Climb, time-trial! |
G Imlach: | Still a bit poor but less so. |
Bethany (7): | Wot G Imlach said! |
G Imlach: | So, final week! |
NC Boardman: | C Froome 2 win, unless he doesn’t. |
G Imlach: | Thx, Nice C! (Aside…) Idiot! |
Bethany (7): | Oi! G Imlach! Wot about mi mum? |
G Imlach: | Ask… |
Roll end credits… |
I remember when Ned first started on the Tour, he was absolutely clueless.Yeah, but he got a good book out of his initial cluelessness. Not such a daftie, eh? :)
Quote from: FroomeThings had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,
Thanks!
For the avoidance of doubt, we at PPTM think *** and Super D represent a great leap forward from their predecessors. Except Bethany (7), who's too young to have been traumatised by Messrs Liggett & Sherwen :demon:
Second Rest Day
R Bardet: Fck off, u spotty Ingleesh types! I haz a degree! U lot doan look liek u even got a temperature!
For the avoidance of doubt, we at PPTM think *** and Super D represent a great leap forward from their predecessors. Except Bethany (7), who's too young to have been traumatised by Messrs Liggett & Sherwen :demon:
The only thing more annoying than that fucking watch advert is the constant use of "For sure" by everyone. Absolutely everyone - riders (no matter whether they're native English speakers or not), commentators, reporters, team bosses.... Everyone! Just stop it.....
The only thing more annoying than that fucking watch advert is the constant use of "For sure" by everyone. Absolutely everyone - riders (no matter whether they're native English speakers or not), commentators, reporters, team bosses.... Everyone! Just stop it.....
I think not young Bobbers Skywalker. What about what's-his-face, on Eurosport, who always predicates his responses with "Yes, well" in his broad mumbling Oirish.
Bethany (7): | o hai g imlach ive got a bone 2 pik wif u wot u mene bout mi mum eh sa hi 2 niec c boardman & g tomas also u haz a typo on ur staeg map u silies xXx bthny |
G Imlach: | O hai! Le Puy! Nôtre Dame de France! U can climb out ov her head, u kno1! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! Wind! |
G Imlach: | Teams. C Froome haz one. D Martin haz one. R Bardet haz one. F Aru haz not one. Wind. |
N Boulting: | O hai! P Gilbert haz teh lurgi. Bad 4 D Martin! Wind! |
R Urán: | Oi! What about me! |
N Boulting: | Who said that? |
M Smith: | Wind! |
SD Millar: | O hai! Wind! Pelican kablooie! Oh yes. Sunweb zoom zoom first climb M Matthews kill M Kitteh utterly 2 DETH! Stage win. Snottyjumper. Voon! |
N Boulting: | Break! Futile? |
SD Millar: | B-Dog? GV Avermaet? T BMC, oh yes! |
GV Avermaet: | S! T! F! U! FFS, SD Millar, u cock! |
Omnes: | U seen hiz hatz, GV Avermaet? Roffle! |
GV Avermaet: | Millarnery2, lol!!1! Plz 2 send jpegs! |
Omnes: | U got m@il! |
[…] | |
SD Millar: | Today’s buzzthing iz “into teh red.” R-E-D. RED! Or was that Sunday’s? Perhaps iz “blow apart”? |
Omnes: | Our money iz on “Wind”! |
S Cummings: | O hai! Bide, bide, bidEEEEEE bai! Oh. |
M Matthews: | Oi, T Sunweb! WTF u playing at? |
TD Gendt: | O hai! I, TD Gendt, Racing Beast and tactical cauliflower, say go! From now on I want u all 2 call me “TRBD Gendt”! |
Omnes: | Whizzkid sittin’ pretty on hiz 2-wheeled stallion? LOL @ TD Gendt! |
TD Gendt: | Fck! Off! |
M Matthews: | Well bloody sod ya, then! I’ll do it miself! Oi, D Martin! Go! Away! |
[…] | |
Bethany (7): | I imagine W Barguil is keeping his hyperbole from going into teh red today. What, with a couple ov big mountain stages coming up an’ t’ing. And teh wind! |
TD Gendt: | I can still get ‘im, u know! |
Bethany (7): | Roffle! |
J Bauer: | Previously on ‘24’ I, J Bauer, haz conkered |
[…] | |
SD Millar: | Wind! T Sunweb! w00t! |
M Kitteh: | O hai! I, M Kitteh, do not liek dis game! Plz 2 stop it! Also, miaow! |
N Boulting: | Pelican! In pieces! M Smith & K “T D00d” House, speak 2 us ov Wind! |
K House: | Yes. No. Gutters. Aru Urán! |
N Boulting: | SCIENCE ov Wind! TV’s JA Flecha said so! |
JA Flecha: | He’s right, u know! |
N Boulting: | S Cummings not biding hiz tiem! S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel! Oh! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | Lunchtiem! |
M Smith: | D Martin, M Kitteh! |
Omnes: | Crivvens! M Smith used a comma! |
K House: | M Matthews! |
M Smith: | Wind! |
ML Maire: | (Snoring…) |
[…] | |
W Barguil: | I can haz spottypoint! |
Bethany (7): | \o/ |
[…] | |
M Smith: | M Kitteh? Lurgi? |
K House: | All teh other sprinters in teh pelican! N Bouhanni, A Kristoff, A Greipel! |
Omnes: | MUNKEH! |
TP Fairy: | O hai! I, TP Fairy, cycling’s rnser 2 teh DUP, fancy a day out! O hai, PT Voeckler, o hai, A Contador! |
PT Voeckler: | Piss! |
A Contador: | Arse! |
M Smith: | Wind! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | M Kitteh? |
SD Millar: | Teh D00m – M Kitteh haz it! |
N Boulting: | Wind! |
M Kitteh: | Miow! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | …and when I see teh big bunch ov Nogweegies wif Nogweegie flags & T-shaped shirts saying “Nogwegia” I always sa “O hai! Where u from?” LOL!!1! |
Omnes: | Oooh, ***! You utter wag! |
SD Millar: | U spelled “tw@” wrong! |
N Boulting: | Get tae fck, Super D, or I set fire 2 ur hat! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! |
M Matthews: | Snottypoints 4 me, lol @ M Kitteh! |
M Kitteh: | … |
[…] | |
Bethany (7): | O hai! Skool’s out! What’s occurring? |
ML Maire: | Nothing! |
Bethany (7): | What, again? |
5: | Haz G Thomas been on? |
ML Maire: | Nope! |
5: | Oh, poo-eeeeeeee3! |
N Boulting: | Not so fast! Teh race will turn a corner and Wind! Perhaps teh pelican will be blown apart! |
A Contador: | Iz good idea! Let’s put teh pelican 2 teh sword! |
(Almost immediately…) | |
A Contador: | Fooled u! I was really looking 4 teh road 2 Spaign-o! |
JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai! I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, pronounce u “git”, A Contador! Do that again and u can explain it 2 mi associate El Mjölñiro! |
5: | Silly A Contador! When mi Daddy wants 2 kill teh birdies he uses teh Purdey! |
N Boulting: | Whence cometh teh Wind? |
B Dylan: | U don’t need a weatherman, u kno! Or even TV’s Nice C Boardman! |
SD Millar: | Wind! 4 teh luv ov Dog, wind! FFS! Or teh plebs will think we maed it up! |
N Boulting: | Wind! Over their right shoulders! |
Immediate cut 2 shot ov flag indicating a full-on headwind | |
N Boulting: | Liek I said, a headwind! |
SD Millar: | …2 pieces… |
[…] | |
N Boulting & SD Millar: | Wind! |
[…] | |
T $ky: | Right, watch this! |
JJ Jarlinsson: | Ow! I felled on El Mjölñiro and hav killed miself utterly 2 DETH! |
D Martin: | Arse! Wuffo u useless tarts stay wif M Kitteh? |
SD Millar: | Conveyor belt! |
C Froome: | Hold on! Where mi team gone? |
M Landa: | Ph3@r not, C Froome! I will save u (Aside…) Agane >:( |
[…] | |
D Bennati: | O hai and, moreover, bai! |
T Sunweb: | Resistance is futile! |
GV Avermaet: | C me… Oh! |
B-Dog: | Yay! Pwnage! |
M Matthews: | Soz, B-Dog, but wrongness: u haz it! MOAR snottypoints 4 meeeeeeee & lol @ M Kitteh! |
B-Dog: | FFS! |
J Degenkolb: | FFS! He looked @ me in a funny tone ov voice! |
C Prudhomme: | Fck off, J Degenkolb! |
M Kitteh: | Fckles! |
D Martin: | This ^^^^. Also, wind… |
I think this is the interview that the Colemantators were alluding to regarding Fuglsang not being happy about Aru - Chrome's translator is correct, he doesn't want to ride a GT with him again:
http://www.fyens.dk/sport/Fuglsang-kritiserer-Aru-og-oensker-kaptajnrolle-alene/artikel/3168317
Jakob Fuglsang believes it was a mistake to Astana teammate Fabio Aru attack, when the Dane was in eruption on the ninth stage.
I think this is the interview that the Colemantators were alluding to regarding Fuglsang not being happy about Aru - Chrome's translator is correct, he doesn't want to ride a GT with him again:
http://www.fyens.dk/sport/Fuglsang-kritiserer-Aru-og-oensker-kaptajnrolle-alene/artikel/3168317
The only thing more annoying than that fucking watch advert is the constant use of "For sure" by everyone. Absolutely everyone - riders (no matter whether they're native English speakers or not), commentators, reporters, team bosses.... Everyone! Just stop it.....
Yep, I've noticed that too and for sure it's really annoying.
Stage 16: Le Puy-En-Velay->Romans-Sur- Isère
Bethany (7): o hai g imlach ive got a bone 2 pik wif u wot u mene bout mi mum eh sa hi 2 niec c boardman & g tomas also u haz a typo on ur staeg map u silies xXx bthny G Imlach: O hai! Le Puy! Nôtre Dame de France! U can climb out ov her head, u kno1! NC Boardman: O hai! Wind! G Imlach: Teams. C Froome haz one. D Martin haz one. R Bardet haz one. F Aru haz not one. Wind. N Boulting: O hai! P Gilbert haz teh lurgi. Bad 4 D Martin! Wind! R Urán: Oi! What about me! N Boulting: Who said that? M Smith: Wind! SD Millar: O hai! Wind! Pelican kablooie! Oh yes. Sunweb zoom zoom first climb M Matthews kill M Kitteh utterly 2 DETH! Stage win. Snottyjumper. Voon! N Boulting: Break! Futile? SD Millar: B-Dog? GV Avermaet? T BMC, oh yes! GV Avermaet: S! T! F! U! FFS, SD Millar, u cock! Omnes: U seen hiz hatz, GV Avermaet? Roffle! GV Avermaet: Millarnery2, lol!!1! Plz 2 send jpegs! Omnes: U got m@il! […] SD Millar: Today’s buzzthing iz “into teh red.” R-E-D. RED! Or was that Sunday’s? Perhaps iz “blow apart”? Omnes: Our money iz on “Wind”! S Cummings: O hai! Bide, bide, bidEEEEEE bai! Oh. M Matthews: Oi, T Sunweb! WTF u playing at? TD Gendt: O hai! I, TD Gendt, Racing Beast and tactical cauliflower, say go! From now on I want u all 2 call me “TRBD Gendt”! Omnes: Whizzkid sittin’ pretty on hiz 2-wheeled stallion? LOL @ TD Gendt! TD Gendt: Fck! Off! M Matthews: Well bloody sod ya, then! I’ll do it miself! Oi, D Martin! Go! Away! […] Bethany (7): I imagine W Barguil is keeping his hyperbole from going into teh red today. What, with a couple ov big mountain stages coming up an’ t’ing. And teh wind! TD Gendt: I can still get ‘im, u know! Bethany (7): Roffle! J Bauer: Previously on ‘24’ I, J Bauer, haz conkered teh baddiesM Matthews 1ngle handed![…] SD Millar: Wind! T Sunweb! w00t! M Kitteh: O hai! I, M Kitteh, do not liek dis game! Plz 2 stop it! Also, miaow! N Boulting: Pelican! In pieces! M Smith & K “T D00d” House, speak 2 us ov Wind! K House: Yes. No. Gutters. Aru Urán! N Boulting: SCIENCE ov Wind! TV’s JA Flecha said so! JA Flecha: He’s right, u know! N Boulting: S Cummings not biding hiz tiem! S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel! Oh! […] N Boulting: Lunchtiem! M Smith: D Martin, M Kitteh! Omnes: Crivvens! M Smith used a comma!
....................etc
Stage 16: Le Puy-En-Velay->Romans-Sur- Isère....................etc
Bethany (7): o hai g imlach ive got a bone 2 pik wif u wot u mene bout mi mum eh sa hi 2 niec c boardman & g tomas also u haz a typo on ur staeg map u silies xXx bthny G Imlach: O hai! Le Puy! Nôtre Dame de France! U can climb out ov her head, u kno1! NC Boardman: O hai! Wind! G Imlach: Teams. C Froome haz one. D Martin haz one. R Bardet haz one. F Aru haz not one. Wind.
Genius. Or bonkers.
I never thought I'd actually find myself feeling sorry for M Kitteh...
Ouch ! Still 160 to go and it is all over the show.Absolute carnage out there!
Tell you on Monday.yup one or two of them are rather sticky too ;)
Meanwhile it's quite amusing watching guys pick up bidons from the Vittel motorbike: they're held in quite tightly but they all anticipate an easy lift and woboboboble.
And Contador's red and white bike is so pretty.I was rather admiring Roglic's Bianchi during the descent.
Tell you what, though, this bit where they lie on the bars and crossbar is a graceless way to ride a bike.
PPTM sez soz 4 teh l8; meeting wif financial advisor & collecting motor-car from hostipal. Rest assured that teh TdF Fake News will appear after teh news.Well I don't know about that. It's not as if the meeting the the FA or the collection of the automobile from the menders were surprise events and will have been planned in advance. I may have to consider my subscription to PP.
G Imlach: | O hai! |
M Rendall: | Alohohahaha! Mi spikim SMERSH! Unser pelahim Bond James Bond dictu nyetski! A Valverde M Landa C Waddle! Major motion picture? Rosa Klebb! |
G Imlach: | I think that means “no”. |
N Boulting: | O hai! M Matthews? |
SD Millar: | O hai! Race within race! Whole different race! Ball race, mill race, horse race! Master race? |
Omnes: | Bridge! |
C Lion: | w00t! |
N Boulting & SD Millar: | Wind! |
Omnes: | What, again? |
SD Millar: | AG2R. Sneaky fckrs. Rampy! |
Omnes: | What, again? Get in teh cannon, SD Millar! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | Chute! |
Omnes: | U gr8 ponce! |
W Barguil: | Piss! |
Bethany (7): | Noes! |
TD Gendt: | w00t! 4 sure! |
M Kitteh: | Arse! Bai bai snottyjumper! |
T Katusha: | We changed our mind. We don’t want him! |
S Cummings: | C me bide my… WTF? Mi trousis! |
Omnes: | 5.8 from teh YACF judge! |
S Cummings: | GITS!!1! |
M Kitteh: | Hurrah 4 mi l33t car-holding 5k1llz! Back in teh pelican! |
[…] | |
SD Millar: | M Matthews… just having fun. Wot a creep1! |
P Roglic: | Oww! |
Omnes: | 5.1. Poor! |
SD Millar: | Desperately desperate2! |
Up teh Ornon… | |
TD Gendt: | Ha! While W Barguil is stuck inside teh pelican I, T ‘Racing Beast’ D Gendt will steal all teh spottypoints! 4 sure! |
M Matthews: | O RLY? |
Omnes: | Power in teh darkness? LOL! |
TD Gendt: | U utter git, M Matthews! 4 sure! |
M Matthews: | Not’ing poisonal, jus’ bizniz! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! |
M Matthews: | Iz not I don’t trust u, TD Gendt, but I don’t trust u! |
TD Gendt: | 4 sure… (Whistles innocently…) |
N Boulting: | Reboot! Also, lunch! M Smith & B Hoban, make with teh erudition! |
B Hoban: | E Merckx! |
M Kitteh: | U remember wot I said yesterday? That, only more so! |
N Quintana: | O hai! Mi naem ect ect. |
A Contador: | O hai! Remind me which way 2 Spaign-o? |
N Quintana: | Giro? WTF woz I thinking? |
Omnes: | Have u tried hanging onto a motorbike, N Quintana roffle? |
SD Millar: | B Mollema, TT Segafredo, B Mollema! Pace. B Mollema! |
N Boulting: | Iz M Gogl! |
SD Millar: | (Improvising desperately…) TD Gendt? |
M Gogl: | (Gurgles) |
S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel: | (Whimpers…) |
S Geschke: | Oog! |
A long way upper… | |
D Navarro: | O hai, TD Gendt, o hai M Matthews! Made ov teh win, me! |
TD Gendt! | WTF? |
M Matthews: | OK, u win! Soz, W Barguil! |
Bethany (7): | Bum! |
JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai, A Contador! In spite ov ur crimes ov yesterday I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, will assist u in ur quest! Say hello 2 mi Questing Beast, El Fenrîrø! |
A Contador: | Nice doggie! |
B Mollema: | Wot about me? I pwned a stage too, u know! |
Omnes: | Who said that? LOL! |
TD Gendt: | Yay! MOAR spottypoints! Go me! |
W Barguil: | Yeah yeah and, moreover, wha’evs… |
[Eventually…] | |
TD Gendt: | OK, ‘nuff’s enuff! Tiem 4 a breather! |
B Hoban: | E Merckx! |
M Kitteh: | OK, ‘nuff’s enuff! Miaowwwwwwww! |
M Matthews: | FFS, M Kitteh, couldn’t u have doned that b4 teh Ornon? |
B Hoban: | Teh French, eh? J Anquetil! E Merckx! |
P York (via email): | Eat MOAR pies! |
B Hoban: | E Merckx! |
[At teh bottom ov teh Télégraphe] | |
N Boulting: | A Contador! L Minkies? |
SD Millar: | Yarbles! Negativity! All wrong! No RISPEK! Or somethings. |
Omnes: | Do u ‘ave a licence 4 ur Minkies roffle? |
JJ Jarlinsson: | OK, A Contador, up 2 u and Bignose over there! |
SD Millar: | B Swift. Wot’s he playing at? Wnkr! |
[Onto teh Galibier…] | |
P Roglic: | O hai! I may have felled off earlier but I haz teh spottypoints Télégraphique also! |
A Contador: | Snoo 2 ur spottyambitions, P Roglic! I, A Contador, haz fooled u all agane! |
S Pauwels: | O hai! Win, me! |
N Boulting: | Wind! |
P Roglic: | ComeonecomeOnCOMEON, A Contador! |
A Contador: | U not been here b4, have u, laddie! |
SD Millar: | Descent! C Froome! |
A Contador: | Fck! Off! |
JD Notapuma: | O hai! I, JD Notapuma am aktualy in teh race too, am made ov teh win and in teh absence ov M Kitteh, am teh only feline left on teh road! Thus it fall 2 me 2 say “Miaow”! |
M Kitteh: | Fck! Off! |
D Martin: | I ATE’NT DEAD!!1! |
S Yates: | Fck! Off! |
M Kwiatkowski: | Ug! Bai! M Nieve, over 2… Oh! |
C Froome: | Yoicks! |
M Landa: | Ph3@r not, C Froome, I will save u. Agane >:( |
D Martin: | Plz not 2 trouble ur self, M Landa! Oh. |
W Barguil: | Mi turn! |
Bethany (7): | Yay! |
R Bardet: | Mi turn! |
C Froome: | O RLY? |
R Urán: | O RLY? |
F Aru: | STOP THAT! IT’S SILLY! Oh. Arse! |
Bethany (7): | Leave W Barguil alone, u horrids! |
P Roglic: | Yay! Spottypoints! |
W Barguil: | Yay! Spottypoints! |
P Roglic: | Also, I am used 2 throwing miself off teh mountainz! |
ML Maire: | Look, see, that’s where mi motorcar b0rked its clutch cable in 1991! |
[And breathe…] | |
P Roglic: | \o/ Wot’s all teh fuss about, eh? I haz mi eye on ur spottyjumper, W Barguil! |
Bethany (7): | Fck! Off! |
R Urán: | Ha! |
C Froome: | Ha! |
R Bardet: | Piss! |
F Aru: | Aroooooooh… Fckls! |
S Yates: | U utter git, D Martin! But I still haz teh juniorshinyjumper so poo on L Minkies! |
A Yates: | Told u we should ov shared teh riding! |
P Roglic: | Crazy! 4 sure! Crazy! |
CP Sagan: | I heard that! |
P Roglic: | Crazy! Mi Mum & Dad & grilf! Crazy! |
CP Sagan: | I’m warning u! |
E Macron: | O hai! Je suis le président, aussi win. Wot u do? |
R Bardet: | WTF? |
Bethany (7): | Oi, G Imlach, u still not said wot u kno about mi Mum! |
Bethany’s Mum: | I ‘eard vat, u little slag! U gerrin ‘ere an’ do yore ‘omework! |
Iz question ov enough hours 2 catch up with teh recording. F Aru crossed teh finish lien @ 6pm local tiem.On this occasion I suppose I iz prepared to make exceptions, though given the extra time you have to rite it I will accept nothing short of a ripping yarn like description of toady's yarnfull ripping in the lumpy bits.
Also, who was it who attacked Sir D Brailsford with the barrier?
And Contador's red and white bike is so pretty.I was rather admiring Roglic's Bianchi during the descent.
Also, who was it who attacked Sir D Brailsford with the barrier?
Couldn't say, but I did see that SDB was having a bit of a spat with a Cycling News journalist earlier this week... :demon: ;) :demon:
And what has happened to Quintana this race? ... He rode well in the Giro
Will it get its own highlight show or will it get a 5 min mention in the Tour highlights?Well, it got full live coverage on ITV4, and it's available on catch-up, so ITV4'd be forgiven (IMO) for just giving it a cursory mention and getting on with the 7pm highlights show.
And what has happened to Quintana this race? ... He rode well in the Giro
Answering your own question there.
Brilliant win for Annemiek van Vleuten and second for Lizzie. I know that ITV might not read this, but PLEASE show more !!!I hope they show Highlights; it will be exciting finding out who wins!
And what has happened to Quintana this race? ... He rode well in the Giro
Answering your own question there.
Merckx managed to win both in a year, three times. ;)
Merckx managed to win both in a year, three times. ;)
And how is this different?
And how is this different?
Can someone explain something please?
There's a graphic on the ITV4 screen which shows a chequered flag, numeral 1, the distance left in the stage, a double-ended arrow, numeral 2, a yellow jersey, and then a time, currently over 8 minutes.
Does that really mean that the yellow jersey is 8 minutes behind the stage leader?
Does that really mean that the yellow jersey is 8 minutes behind the stage leader?
Indurain did it a couple of times.
Just saw a Dalek
He's just playing up to his rep. as the clueless idiot on the commentating team. And doing a bang-up job of it. :DJust saw a Dalek
That was no Dalek, that was an Astana domestique ;D
Good to see *** is right on the ball today with his forecast of a fast descent off the Izoard :facepalm:
IR camera on the left.
The Izoard - does anybody else feel like they'd like to ride it? It's an amazing landscape.
Don't suppose any of those boys get the chance to actually enjoy the ride, much less the view!
Kiwi nipped out for a ciggie. Any sign of him yet?
Chapeau to W Barguil for getting a "crazy" in right at the end of the interview. CP Sagan is phoning his lawyers.
Kiwi nipped out for a ciggie. Any sign of him yet?
The guy knows how to leave it on the road.
NC Boardman: | C Froome… home & vigorously towelling himself off… |
N Boulting: | C Prudhomme, y u never start teh race at teh appointed tiem? |
C Prudhomme: | (Flaps arms) In my glider I’m teh Kadu Flyer! |
Omnes: | Reefer madness, MOAR liek! |
C Prudhomme: | OK, off u fck! |
PT Voeckler: | O hai! I, P’tit T Voeckler, am on mi last Tour ov France. Plz 2 let me win on teh Col ov teh Ladeez ov teh Fabulous Hair! Bit ov teh old ooh la la, knoworrimean? |
A Goldfrapp: | Oi! |
Omnes: | U & C Prudhomme been kicking teh bong around, PT Voeckler? |
PT Voeckler: | (Sulks) |
TD Gendt: | O hai! Me, T ‘Racing Beast’ D Gendt, agane! 1 Break ov Futility, medium rare, with chips & mayonnaise, coming right up! |
S Cummings: | O hai! Tiem? I iz biding it! |
N Boulting: | E ‘Twisted Firestarter’ Gesbert iz in teh break! |
ETF Gesbert: | FFS! Shut! Up! |
SD Millar: | … effectively a split pelican! |
N Lawson1: | Spatch. Cock. Mmmmmmmmm! |
PT Voeckler: | He-lloooooooooo inna-Leslie-Phillips-stylee! |
N Boulting: | T AS-TA-NA obvs haz teh cunning plan! |
T Astana: | WE WILL EX-TER-MIN-ATE TEH PE-LI-CAN, STOP 4 AN ICE CREAM & LET F A-RU FCK IT UP ON HIS OWN! |
J Birdsong (via email): | C!!1! I told u he was a git! Ooh, teh love iz bursting, bursting in me2! |
P York: | O hai! Feed zone, PT Voeckler, swimming pool! |
M Smith: | O hahahahaha swimming pools lol roffle hahaha! |
Omnes: | Fck! Off! |
Bethany (7): | O hai! I take it things are a bit quiet after teh initial mucking about, then? |
G Imlach: | Indeed they are, Bethany (7), indeed they are. Would u liek a full-tiem job next year? |
Bethany (7): | Only if u tell me everything u kno about mi Mum! |
G Imlach: | Meet me via Snapchat after skool… |
[…] | |
ML Maire: | C Froome iz off teh back ov teh pelican and u useless gits are wibbling about La Course with R Gilmore! FFS! |
M Smith: | He only stopped 4 a jimmy, u muppet! |
R Gilmore: | Just coz u didn’t get up early enough 2 watch it, u lazy fckr! |
ML Maire: | U haz caught me, R Gilmore, liek a Treen on a deflated spacehopper chiz3! |
R Gilmore: | I rode l’Etape, u know! |
JR Shand (via email): | BFD. U want a fish or something? |
M Kitteh (via email): | Did u sa “Fish”? I liek fish! Also, miaow! |
Omnes (via Twitter): | Back in ur cardboard box, M Kitteh! |
[Rather later…] | |
NC Boardman: | Ooh, a boat! With wings! Want! |
N Boulting: | L Calamityjane, TD Gendt, ect ect. |
TD Gendt: | Spottypoints ect ect. |
NC Boardman: | … and then they changed teh roolz about wheelz because hary doggie! |
JJ Jarlinsson: | U met mi frend El Fenrîrø, NC Boardman? |
NC Boardman: | Ulp! Niec doggie! |
[…] | |
5: | Where’s SD Millar 2da? |
Omnes: | Shopping 4 wankhats! |
SD Millar: | Fck! Off! Your all gay! |
[On teh Vars] | |
Bethany (7): | Still not very exciting, iz it? |
SD Millar: | Gravity, eh? They even keep it on at weekends! |
N Boulting: | No monster break by a GC contender this year chiz. Look, see, teh chimneys ov teh fairies! |
TP Fairy: | I haz solar-powered central heating, thank u ***! |
SD Millar: | Ooh! AG2R! R Bardet! Fight, fight! |
N Boulting: | Oh yes! |
P Roglic: | O hai! U kno wot I said about teh spottyjumper? Was lie! Crazy! |
CP Sagan: | Mi lawyers will be in touch! |
W Barguil: | Yay! Teh spottyjumper iz mine all mine. |
Bethany (7): | \o/ (Does cheerleader act agane) |
N Boulting & SD Millar: | Teh winner will come from teh break or teh pelican! |
Omnes: | O RLY? |
[…] | |
JD Notapuma: | O hai! It would seme that when it come 2 descending I am this: a Rubbish! May I say “miaow” at this point? |
M Kitteh: | No. No, u may not! |
N Boulting: | Oooh, C Gautier! |
J White: | Soz, ***, doesn’t scan. |
T Gallopin: | O hai! Work, u dogs! |
S Cummings: | It may look liek I iz biding mi tiem, but I iz not! |
N Boulting: | Tailwind, no rain, should be teh fast descent off ov teh Izoard4! |
Omnes: | :facepalm: |
[…] | |
A Lutsenko: | Where iz everyone? MOAR 2 teh point, where TF iz F Aru? |
E [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]ez: | Bai! |
O Niceone: | Bai! |
S Cummings: | Bai! |
C Gautier: | Bai! |
D Navarro, T Gallopin & JD Notapuma: | Bai, but in teh opposite direction! |
N Boulting: | Tense, innit! |
SD Millar: | (Sighs) Yes. Yes, it iz (Aside…) Idiot! |
A Lutsenko: | Don’t leave me here! There’s BEARs and wolves, oh my! |
JD Notapuma: | And not-pumas! Oh yes! |
R Bardet: | C mi SEEKRIT weapon! O hai, J Bakelite! |
T $ky: | O RLY? |
[Meanwhile…] | |
JD Notapuma: | O hai, A Lutsenko! I hereby upgrade miself from “miaow” 2 “RAAAWWWRRR”! |
J Alaphilippe: | U hold him, M Kitteh, while I hit him! |
W Barguil: | O hai! Tiem 2 play! |
Bethany (7): | w00t! |
[…] | |
D Martin: | O hai! Did sumwun say F Aru iz in trub? |
F Aru: | U utter git, D Martin! |
M Kwiatkowski: | Sometimes I hate this job! |
M Landa: | OK, C Froome, hold mi BEER! |
R Bardet: | Tiem 2 play! |
C Froome: | I don’t think so, R Bardet! |
R Urán: | Oi! Remember me? |
[…] | |
JD Notapuma: | U utter git, W Barguil! |
W Barguil: | /o\ Just 4 teh change! |
Bethany (7): | (Faints) |
[…] | |
R Bardet: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE, only slower! Tiem bonus 4 meeeeeeeeee! |
R Urán: | Piss! |
M Landa: | LOL @ F Aru! |
F Aru: | Aroooooo |
W Barguil: | Crazy! |
CP Sagan: | FFS! |
[…] | |
Bethany (7): | WHAT!!1! Ur havin’ teh giraffe, G Imlach! Aren’t u? |
[End credits…] |
The Izoard - does anybody else feel like they'd like to ride it? It's an amazing landscape.
Don't suppose any of those boys get the chance to actually enjoy the ride, much less the view!
Yes! Name the day!
Bethany (7): | Not interested! |
5: | Also not interested! |
S Connolly: | O hai! And o hai 2 TV’s R Gilmore! |
R Gilmore: | O hai & burn teh 7 year old heretics! I rode l’Etape! |
W Weasel1: | SFW? |
R Gilmore: | AV Vleuten! T Sunweb! M Vos! I rode l’Etape! |
[After much mucking about and frequent reminders from R Gilmore that she rode l’Etape…] | |
S Connolly: | Look, see, teh pelican haz been blown apart! Peloton! Arse! Oh. It iz back together! |
A Plichta: | Had enuff! 2 teh pub! Oi, G Thomas! Ur round! |
R Gilmore: | L Deignan! L’Etape! |
A Cure: | Yoicks! Mi biek! WTF? |
S Connolly: | FdJ! |
Omnes: | Hope they iz less useless than teh mans’ FdJ! |
A Démare: | I told u!! I woz ill! |
M Weaver: | Owwwwww! FFS! |
V Guilman: | Whoopsie! |
A Reis: | FFS, V Guilman! Look where ur going! U b0rked mi biek! |
V Guilman: | Soz! (Exit, pursued by T Lares’ DS) |
[…] | |
S Connolly: | Wind! Did u climb teh Izoard, R Gilmore? |
R Gilmore: | Well, yes, but I was trying not 2 menshn it! |
W Weasel: | :facepalm: |
[…] | |
L Villumsen: | O hai! I, L Villumsen, am made ov teh win! And I iz a proper Viking, unliek teh gr8 ponce JJ Jarlinsson! CU l8r, suxx0r5! |
[…] | |
L Deignan: | O hai! Look, see, I iz on teh tellybox! And I haz teh coolest shades! Work, u dogs! |
TB Dolmans: | Yeth, mithtreth! |
R Gilmore: | Ooh, look, I rode this bit teh other day! |
Omnes: | O RLY? |
R Gilmore: | Yes. Yes, I did. And this bit! |
[Eventually…] | |
S Connolly: | Ooh, decimated pelican! |
M Berry: | I wouldn’t put that inna CAEK! |
Omnes: | Who’s that on teh BSO? Teh one with teh rucksack full ov baguettes? She was going pretty well! |
L Villumsen: | Piss! Still, worth a try, eh, readers? |
L Deignan: | C me bide mi tiem! |
S Cummings: | I wish I’d said that! |
ML Maire: | Swimming pool! And silly M Smith & P York not here 2 see it! Roffle! |
R Gilmore: | Pain face! |
M Guarnier: | O hai! L Deignan, mi so-called team-mate, WTF? U haz killed me utterly 2 DETH! |
L Deignan: | Soz2! (Aside…) LOL! |
AV Vleuten: | O hai! I am AV Vleuten and I am made ov teh Win! Right, I iz off! |
E Lamborghini: | Bum! |
S Gillow: | Bum also! |
[…] | |
ML Maire: | Y AV Vleuten not got teh number on back? Disqualibobificationism! |
AV Vleuten: | Yoicks! Mi biek… nah, only joaking! |
R Gilmore: | Diesel engine! I rode l’Etape! |
E Lamborghini: | I ATE’NT DEAD!!1! |
S Connolly: | (Uncontrollable squeaking…) |
AV Vleuten: | \o/ And I haz 43 seconds over L Deignan 4 Part Deux! |
L Deignan: | (Pain face) Oh, u mean teh Thing! |
J Bakelite: | Don’t fancy urs much! Roffle! |
Omnes: | Wanker! |
Bethany (7): | Soz, R Gilmore! Not very exciting. And no W Barguil. |
R Gilmore: | Fck! Off! I rode l’Etape! |
https://flic.kr/s/aHsk2HfhK1 ;)
Has this "pursuit-style" format been used before at elite level? Are the women a bunch of guinea-pigs for this?I don't know how it will work, but I hope that it will not translate as phased starts for the riders, with those who drew out a 45 second lead in the mountains getting a 45 second lead on the flats on the next stage.
[I can see why they might limit the field size - the logistics could be a pain-in-the-arse with irregular start-times. /touradvocate ]
"well done for all that hard work, you now get an insignificant advantage on a pack of riders"
Has this "pursuit-style" format been used before at elite level? Are the women a bunch of guinea-pigs for this?
[I can see why they might limit the field size - the logistics could be a pain-in-the-arse with irregular start-times. /touradvocate ]
As someone who has raced plenty of handcaps on road and track, riders 2, 3 and 4 should definitely have a chat before starting
As someone who has raced plenty of handcaps on road and track,
Bethany (7): | mum mum wots orl dis bout u &… [FX: Slap (fortissimo)] |
Bethany (7): | (Starts crying) |
Bethany’s Mum: | I tole u! I fukn tole u abaht torkin’ 2 strangerz! I’ll give u sumfing 2 cry abaht, u nosy little ho! I wish I’d never’ad u! Nah fck off 2 skool! |
Bethany (7): | It’s teh holibobz! Going 2 5’s… (Aside…) Fukn c-o-w! |
[…] | |
G Imlach: | O hai! It iz I, TV’s G Imlach, quipster par excellence! Spare a thort 4 teh 3 rubbish climbs on 2da’s stage, rendered non-elephant by W Barguil, may his House be Free from Tigers! Knicker-gripping stuff yesterday, right kids? |
C Froome: | Blah blah M Landa blah R Urán blah blah R Bardet blah time trial. Blah. |
G Imlach: | T Sunweb! |
M Matthews: | Yay! Snottyjumper! |
CP Sagan: | Gertcha! |
G Imlach: | Break? Sprint? Loonie? |
NC Boardman: | T Sunweb. M Matthews. |
G Imlach: | B-Dog. A Greipel? |
Omnes: | MUNKEH!!1! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | O hai! Guess it’s going 2 be MOAR châteaux, churches and lunch 2da! |
SD Millar: | O hai! Shall I talk about hydro-electrickery? |
N Boulting: | Not if u want 2 live! |
SD Millar: | Today’s word iz “opportunity”. OPP-OT-TU-NI-TY! Game theory! |
N Boulting: | Who would begrudge B-Dog a win 2da? |
M Matthews: | Me 4 starters! |
A Greipel: | Me 2! |
Omnes: | MUNKEH!!1! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | Ur l8 agane, C Prudhomme! |
C Prudhomme: | OK! Off u fck! PT Voeckler, la France expects ect ect! |
PT Voeckler: | Nah! |
S Cummings: | Bide, bide, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! |
N Boulting: | Bridge! |
C Lion: | w00t! |
[…] | |
5’s Mummy: | Air hellay, Bethany! Good heavens, what on earth happened 2 u? |
Bethany (7): | Walktinnaradormissispoulidorfanshaw… |
5’s Mummy: | Syrah! |
5: | Air hellay Mummy o hai bef’ny! Mai poney haz swallowed hiz bit, Mummy, and Ai cannot find teh spanner! |
5’s Mummy: | Not agane, dahling! Ai suppose Ai’ll have 2 Get A Man In! |
5: | Soooooper! OK, bef’ny, lessgo watch teh Tour! Can we take some kumquats, Mummy? |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | Dam! Very big! SCIENCE figures concrete and clay! |
SD Millar: | Ur numbers, ***, they mean nothing 2 me! |
Omnes: | Oh Vienna LOL! |
SD Millar: | (Sulks) |
N Blackwell: | (Sings) Midge Ure, looks liek a milk thief! |
SD Millar: | Team classification! T $ky! |
N Boulting: | Break. Broken. PT Voeckler? TD Gendt? |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | Big break! Usual suspects! w00t! |
SD Millar: | Teh winner iz in teh break because I, TV’s Super D Millar, say so! Snottyjumper Australia E Zabel! |
[An awful lot l8r…] | |
N Boulting: | Salade Niçoise! What did u have 4 lunch, TV’s Nice C Boardman? |
NC Boardman: | Can’t remember! |
N Boulting: | Last climb. Launchpaddy1! |
Omnes: | R Porte on D Martin? Irish space programme roffle? |
Bethany (7): | That was rubbish! |
N Boulting: | Shut! Up! Wind! |
NC Boardman: | Thunderstorm? |
N Boulting: | B-Dog! La Thing? |
NC Boardman: | Yes. No. Bugadifino! |
T Things: | Oi! |
[…] | |
N Boulting: | Provence! Très Provençy2! And now TV’s M Rendall will baffle us with cabbages and rhinoceroses in teh kitchen and incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through teh mouthpiece ov Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head! 4 all teh sense anyone can make ov it. |
M Rendall: | O hai! Frecce Tricolore Pavarotti! Whoooosh! |
N Boulting: | Not in 1903 though! |
M Rendall: | Nyet! Caramba son Frank Whittle der Futuroscope! Bagot-Mazurie! Fandabbidozi, Fandabbisneezy, Wünderschönigrumpy! Bashful Nostradamus B-Dog sieg aujour d’hui. Punque stein bouzouki elettro! Bai! |
SD Millar: | Has he gone yet? |
N Boulting: | Alliance in break? Break off break? Race within race. Wheels within wheels. B-Dog? |
GV Avermaet: | Don’t listen 2 those idiots, B-Dog! |
[After an interminable amount ov sod-all…] | |
TD Gendt: | White line fever! Snottypoints! |
N Boulting: | Rabies! |
SD Millar: | Puppy-dog! Back 2 slepe 4 me! |
[…] | |
Omnes: | Oooh! Hullo clouds, hullo sky! Rain? C Boardmen! |
NC Boardman: | ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! |
EC Boardman: | Oh, I do hope so! |
[After ML Maire’s afternoon nap…] | |
SD Millar: | B Swift! |
N Boulting: | Everyone else in teh break! B-Dog! B Mollema long range! |
SD Millar: | B-Dog. S Calamityjane? |
L Calamityjane: | Did he call me |
T Moviestar: | Lights, camera, action! Tiem 4 our close-up! |
B-Dog: | O hai! I don’t think so. Woof woof! Sausages! |
SD Millar: | Look, see, teh break iz b0rked! TD Gendt! J Bakelite! |
Omnes: | Wnkr! |
Bethany (7): | Fukn wnkr! |
(Dicking about…) | |
N Arndt: | Ur turn, whoever iz behind m… oh! Piss! |
B-Dog: | \o/ Waiting 4 teh sprint iz 4 teh kittehs roffle! Sausages! |
M Kitteh (via Instabook): | I heard that! Also, miaow! |
N Arndt: | U utter GIT, EB Hagen! |
Bethany (7): | Swings & roundabouts LOL!!1! |
Bethany (7):Swings & roundabouts LOL!!1!
Bethany (7): | Still not interested! |
5: | Also still not interested! |
R Gilmore: | O hai! How I wish I could have u 2 shot! |
ML Maire: | I wish u could haz U2 shot also! Ba-dum tish!!1! |
[…] | |
G Imlach: | O hai! It iz I, TV’s G Imlach, so laden with les blagues that I haz difficulty getting out ov bed! La Thing: not a tiem-trial. Tiem-trial course. No tiem-trial bieks. Ect. TV’s S Connolly & R Gilmore! |
S Connolly: | O hai & … |
R Gilmore: | O hai! AV Vleuten! One ov teh best tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld! |
S Connolly: | And that… |
R Gilmore: | L Deignan! Will she wait 4 E Lamborghini & M Guarnier? AV Vleuten iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld! |
S Connolly: | And… |
L Deignan: | O hai! I am L Deignan and I am made ov teh Win! But not so much win that I can catch AV Vleuten by miself! C me bide mi tiem until E Lamborghini & M Guarnier rock up! |
E Lamborghini & M Guarnier: | O hai, L Deignan! Shall we dance? |
R Gilmore: | C them chase AV Vleuten who iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld! |
Bethany (7): | FFS, C Prudhomme! Y u not show all teh riders starting? I, Bethany (7), will kick u in teh nutz given ½ teh chance! |
S Connolly: | I… Tiem 4 shitverts! |
Bethany (7): | FFS, Vsquared! |
[…] | |
S Connolly: | I… |
M Guarnier: | FFS, L Deignan, mi so-called “team-mate”! U haz killed me utterly 2 DETH! Agane! |
R Gilmore: | I think it will be hard 4 L Deignan & E Lamborghini 2 catch AV Vleuten who iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld! |
Omnes: | O RLY! |
AV Vleuten: | Yes. Yes, I am! |
S Connolly: | . |
R Gilmore: | AV Vleuten will now win La Thing because a) she iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld b) she iz 1 ov teh bestest climbers in teh wurrrlld c) I, TV’s R Gilmore say so. |
AV Vleuten: | Win: I haz it! |
L Deignan: | Piss. Still, 2nd iz better than being nibbled utterly to DETH by an okapi, right kids? |
E Lamborghini: | Arse! |
S Connolly: | I, er, MOAR shitverts! |
[…] | |
AV Vleuten: | Verry ‘appy! |
L Deignan: | Teh format needs some, er work. (Aside…) With a boat and 2 sacks ov cement! |
R Gilmore: | w00t! Xitintoday or wot? |
Bethany (7): | No, R Gilmore. No, it was not. It was teh badly-televised waste ov tiem and C Prudhomme and hiz homies should be ashamed ov themselves! These women are serious professional cyclists, not teh performing munkehs! Teh crit in Paris: better, or would be if ur TV director pointed teh cameraz @ teh riders & not @ teh scenery! C Prudhomme, u better maek sure u wear teh criket box if u ever meet me >:( |
R Gilmore: | I… |
Bethany (7): | And u! Shut! Up! Srsly, u capable ov keeping ur tongue still 4 MOAR than 3 seconds? FFS! |
R Gilmore: | I rode l’ Etape! |
NC Boardman: | I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, agree with Bethany (7)! |
Missed it. :(
True :)Missed it. :(
Not much. I think the only thing we learned from that was that the format doesn't work on such a short course with the time gaps as they were.
NC Boardman: | T Martin! Sandpaper, saddle! Maeks mi eyes water and probably illegal! |
G Imlach: | O hai! Me agane, wot Bethany (7) said, and over 2 TV’s N Boulting & Super D Millar! |
N Boulting: | O hai! L Rowe, lanterne rouge, Marseille, isn’t it brilliant! SD Millar, iz teh climb T Martinable1? |
SD Millar: | No. No, it iz not. I, TV’s Super D Millar, hold it 2 be much MOAR C Froomey! Teh bitsteepfulness ov it iz terrific and teh descent iz scarymongoosetastic! |
N Boulting: | Iz S Cummingsworthi? |
SD Millar: | Yes. Yes, it iz. Sketchy. |
Omnes: | FFS, u 2, enuff already with teh neologisms! |
SD Millar: | “Sketchy” iz teh perfectly cromulent word! |
N Boulting: | At least it iz not raining roffle! Gears! |
SD Millar: | Rain would be altogether too lolmungous 4 everyone xept TV’s Evil C Boardman! Everyone haz teh wrong gears because I, TV’s Super D Millar, say so! |
N Boulting: | … G Bole, a Slovenian very much liek P Roglic2… |
Omnes: | :facepalm: |
L Rowe: | w00t! Teh hot seat! Oh! Plz can I haz a towel? Mi bum iz on fire! |
M Rendall: | O halloumi L Rowe stadio assourdissant myn stieg blong reverse gear? |
L Rowe: | O hai! W Rooney! (Aside…) What did he just say? |
G Thomas: | ‘s OK, L Rowe, u will not be there long. Come 2 teh pub when u get beat; iz my round! |
5: | (Sighs…) Oooh, he’s so yummy! |
G Thomas: | Yoicks! |
[…] | |
S Cummings: | O hai! I, S Cummings, no longer liek this game! Iz hot! Plz I come 2 teh pub too, G Thomas? |
G Thomas: | Teh MOAR teh merrier! Hic! |
[…] | |
SD Millar: | Teh form bok: iz nonse! |
N Boulting: | T Martin! M Bodnar! V Kiryienka! |
Omnes: | Iz V Kiryienka wearing teh V Kiryienka mask agane, *** LOL? |
N Boulting: | Fck! Off! |
M Bodnar: | O hai! I doned teh bestest tiem and u useless fckrs not put me on teh TV until last 2nd! U utter gits! |
T Martin: | Piss! |
M Bodnar: | Yay! Pwnage! |
[…] | |
J Castroviejo: | WTF? 30 seconds in and I fall off? FFS! |
B-Dog: | O hai! Niec ov u 2 make me into E Higgs BOson. Not. |
PT Voeckler: | O hai! Bof! Hollywood beckons! |
M Kwiatkowski: | Arse! |
P Roglic: | Noes! Mi biek! Piss! |
S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel: | O hai! I, S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel, multiple tiem-trial champion ov France, am not enjoying zis vair much! Still, 17 consecutive Tours ov France, she iz not 2 be sniffed @, hein? |
Bethany’s Mum: | Sniff? U got sniff? He-lloooo, big boy! |
Bethany (7): | FFS! |
[…] | |
Bethany (7): | Yay! Go W Barguil! |
A Contador: | O hai! Spaign-o? Which way plz? |
[…] | |
A Contador: | Ha ha! Fooled u! Agane! Roffle! |
M Bodnar: | Yoicks! |
W Barguil: | O hai! I, W Barguil, Roi des Montagnes, sez this course iz teh suxx0r! |
N Boulting: | Juniorshinyjumper. Teh climb will favour S Yates. And L Minkies3. |
Omnes: | :facepalm: |
S Yates: | Yay! Teh juniorshinyjumper iz mine! |
[…] | |
R Urán: | O hai! Get rich or die trying, eh? |
R Bardet: | I ATE’NT DEAD! (Dies) |
M Landa: | Wowsa! |
R Urán: | Hullo clouds hullo T $ky hullo crash barrier! Whoopsie! |
Bethany (7): | U muppet, R Urán! |
C Froome: | I C U, R Bardet! |
SD Millar: | Eeeep! |
M Landa: | Piss! TP Fairy, plz 2 attack R Bardet 2moro? A lot! |
R Bardet: | Ooog! 2 close 4 wossname, that! |
Bethany (7): | LOL @ R Bardet! |
C Froome: | Yay! |
M Bodnar: | Fck off, C Froome! Only 1 person pwned teh stage, u kno! Me. Meeeee! |
[…] | |
SD Brailsford: | Vell, C Froome’s just zis guy, u kno! |
[…] | |
TD Gendt: | W Barguil most aggressive rider? FFS! |
Bethany (7): | \o/ (MOAR dancing…) |
Are any bonus seconds on offer tomorrow? I recall someone popping up a step in the pecking order in this way on a previous tour - though I could be mistaken.
There's an intermediate sprint. I would be very surprised if there wasn't a bid by Landa and some of his team to make at least a half attempt at that sprint. I don't think they will try at the final sprint.
Bardet looked a bit beaten up today, so might not be in a good position to defend any attempts by Landa.
I tend to prefer it when the yellow jersey wins the occasional stage along the way, but that's just me being picky.You mean like that Texan fella did?
I tend to prefer it when the yellow jersey wins the occasional stage along the way, but that's just me being picky.You mean like that Texan fella did?
To be fair to Froome, he came pretty close a few times. I think this was his most exciting win yet! (make of that what you will ... )
That was a long time ago. Did you race against him?I tend to prefer it when the yellow jersey wins the occasional stage along the way, but that's just me being picky.You mean like that Texan fella did?
To be fair to Froome, he came pretty close a few times. I think this was his most exciting win yet! (make of that what you will ... )
I was thinking more of this chap (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_career_achievements_by_Eddy_Merckx#Palmar.C3.A8s). Perhaps my expectations are unrealistic.
That was a long time ago. Did you race against him?
Just out of interest; anyone know/remember any other edition of the tour where one team has held the yellow jumper (TM *** Boulting) for very nearly the whole race?
And I think what is really impressive is that Team Sky have held the Team classification from start to finish, which just shows howstrong a team they were overall.much more money they have compared to other teams.
No time bonuses at intermediate sprints this year so Landa would have to be in the top three at the end. Can't see it with the likes of Greipel, Matthews, Bouhanni, Degenkolb and probably nine or a dozen others all going for the stage.
No time bonuses at intermediate sprints this year so Landa would have to be in the top three at the end. Can't see it with the likes of Greipel, Matthews, Bouhanni, Degenkolb and probably nine or a dozen others all going for the stage.
And I think what is really impressive is that Team Sky have held the Team classification from start to finish, which just shows howstrong a team they were overall.much more money they have compared with other teams.
They don't. In Paris it starts at 4 pm. ;D
I'm fairly sure that they had them for a period sometime this century, and there was a possible podium place hinging on them one year. Of course the sprinter types grabbed them anyway, but that situation may be what led to scrapping them.No time bonuses at intermediate sprints this year so Landa would have to be in the top three at the end. Can't see it with the likes of Greipel, Matthews, Bouhanni, Degenkolb and probably nine or a dozen others all going for the stage.
I didn't realise there were no time bonuses at the intermediate sprint, so I agree, the podium looks set as it is.
I'm fairly sure that they had them for a period sometime this century, and there was a possible podium place hinging on them one year. Of course the sprinter types grabbed them anyway, but that situation may be what led to scrapping them.
Sky team car already has "Tour de France 2017" painted on the door (just above the sill). Tut. Still got 94 km to go."Best Team Winners ... "
Convention....
Why does everyone assume that the podium positions have already been decided when there's still a stage to go?
Goodbye Little Thomas V, I'll miss you.
Nope. He has to finish the final stage within the time limit. Same for all the jerseys- even though there are no climbs at all on the stage, Barguil has to finish to win KOM, and Matthews must finish to win green. The last time the final stage was actually competitive (1989 time trial) it cost Laurent Fignon the win, so I doubt the organisers ever wish to repeat that...Convention....
So if there's a crash and Froome is taken out and can't continue, he will still be declared the winner?
What are the odds on De Gendt going for a long one just to rub ASO's nose in it over the Prix de Combativité :demon:
What are the odds on De Gendt going for a long one just to rub ASO's nose in it over the Prix de Combativité :demon:
WB's already been given the global Combativity doodah.
G Imlach: | O hai! 4 teh last tiem I, TV’s G Imlach, sa a big “O hai” 2 all intelligent life forms everywhere & 2 everyone else out there, teh SEEKRIT is 2 bang teh rocks together, guys! |
NC Boardman: | O hai! I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, an knackrd! Marseille 2 Paris – whose idea dat? |
C Prudhomme: | LOL @ G Imlach & NC Boardman! We ov teh Ay Ess Oh haz teh private jet! |
G Imlach & NC Boardman: | U utter GIT, C Prudhomme!!1! |
[After teh Photoshop…] | |
S Yates: | O hai! I am S Yates and I am made ov teh Win! C Froome haz teh yellow biek, M Matthews haz teh green biek and W Barguil haz teh spotty biek! WHY I NOT HAZ TEH WHITE BIEK? IZ TEH NOT FAIR!!1! |
Omnes: | Oh grow up, u little squit! Hang on, didn’t we do this 1 last year? Also, u haz got a white biek! |
S Yates: | Oh yes, so I haz! |
N Boulting: | O hai! PT Voeckler, tiem-trial, all emotional. Awwwwwwww! |
SD Millar: | O hai! Kno teh feeling, Vuelta, M Rendall! |
EC Boardman: | U gr8 ponce, SD Millar! Mind u, meeting M Rendall enuff 2 maek ne1 cry LOL! |
SD Millar: | (Sulks) |
[Quite a lot later...] | |
Omnes: | Oi! C Prudhomme! Get on with it! |
C Prudhomme: | OK! Off u fck! |
N Boulting: | …and we iz joined by R Gilmore… |
Bethany (7): | Fck! Off! |
J Bakelite: | PHWOOAAAR! Ullo, darlin’! |
Bethany (7): | U can fck off 2! & when u fckd off u can fck off sum MOAR! Wnkr! |
R Gilmore: | …and having ridden up teh Izoard… 4 sure... |
M Pingu1: | Ooooh, hark @ u! |
[Shortly...] | |
T $ky: | Yay! Teh BEER!!1! Oh, wait! Iz shampain! |
R Gilmore: | Shampain face roffle! |
Omnes: | |
T $ky: | Last year we had teh BEER! Y we not got teh BEER this year chiz? |
SD Brailsford: | G Thomas drunked it all in teh 1st week! LOL! Akshuly, iz Lie! Here iz ur BEER! |
S Yates: | Teh T $ky haz teh BEER! Y I not haz teh BEER? NOT FAIR!!1! |
Omnes: | Ur not old enuff 2 haz teh BEER, S Yates! Does ur Mum kno ur here roffle? Hang on, we doned this 1 last year 2! |
S Yates: | WAAAAAAAAH!!1! |
[Later…] | |
L Minkies: | O hai! I am L Minkies and while I am not made ov as much Win as S Yates I am still pretty Winny! Oh yes! And wot kind ov coverage do I get from P@nd3m1c fukn Pr0duckt10nzTM®? Fck all, iz wot! Just being on teh receiving end ov a recycled joak stolen from a Pink Panzer movie! Well, iz not gude enuff! |
Omnes: | FFS, don’t sa ur gonna sulk liek teh Yates bruvs? |
ML Maire: | Er, soz, L Minkies! Praps u do something controversial, liek punch a Yates bruv or get ur photo took wif Bethany’s Mum! |
L Minkies: | Fck! Off! |
Y Offredo: | Right! I iz off! But onli 2 meet teh famlee! |
PT Voeckler: | ‘sallabahtfamleeinnit! Was that right? |
Omnes: | It’s DV Dyke LOL! |
PT Voeckler: | Shuttez-lá, vous slagz! |
M Landa: | O hai! C me wind up teh R Bardet! |
C Gautier: | Bof! C me propose 2 mi grilf! |
Omnes: | Awwwwwwww! |
[Eventually…] | |
N Boulting: | Rain! Break! Futile? |
SD Millar: | TD Gendt! Combativité! Chiz! |
Bethany (7): | Poo! W Barguil roolz! |
EC Boardman: | Rain! LOL! |
N Boulting: | Neutered pelican? Nogweegies! |
TP Fairy: | O hai! Notable by mi absence 4 most ov teh race, I, TP Fairy, teh embodiment ov pure eebil, will sa a big “O haihahaha” 2 W Barguil! Stab, stabbity, stabEEEE! |
W Barguil: | FFS! Ur supposed 2 visit R Bardet! |
Bethany (7): | Get tae fck, TP Fairy! |
[Later…] | |
T Martin: | O hai! I, T Martin, sa yarbles 2 ur futile break! |
SD Millar: | Coming 2 teh boil! |
S Cummings: | I’m not! |
N Boulting: | Sprinters! Control! AS-TA-NA! |
SD Millar: | N Bouhanni? Useless! |
N Boulting: | Cobblestones! |
Omnes: | Shut! Up! |
[Enfin…] | |
N Boulting: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! Yoicks! |
D Groenewegen: | Yay! Pwnage! |
A Greipel: | FFS! |
Omnes: | MUNKEH!!1! |
C Froome: | Speechless amazing rewarding privilege amazing honour and amazing! 4 sure! |
Bethany (7): | Podium! w00t! W Barguil! (Dances around room squeaking) Oops! Soz, mum! |
[FX: Repeated fortissimo slappage…] | |
Bethany’s Mum: | U spilt mi wite litening, u little bitch! I’ll fukn kill u! 2 DETH! |
[Grams: God Saev | |
C Froome: | Ta Mrs C Froome T $ky teh pelican honour privilege ect ect! Et maintenant la même chose en |
G Thomas: | O hai! Haz it finished, then? |
[Just about midnight…] | |
N Boulting: | Nice C? |
NC Boardman: | Uh? |
N Boulting: | Wot actually iz teh difference between a village and an hamlet? |
[Roll end credits…] |
Another top 3 weeks of entertainment from P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® :thumbsup:This.
Another top 3 weeks of entertainment from P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® :thumbsup:This.
Did my eyes deceive me or did the Funny Bit in tonight's highlights really show Super D & *** swanning around France in a Maserati?
Iz jealous...
Did my eyes deceive me or did the Funny Bit in tonight's highlights really show Super D & *** swanning around France in a Maserati?
Iz jealous...
Nope. I remarked same to Mrs Torslanda, of the horned helmet and heavy metal breastplate. Given it was RHD and SD Millar wuz at the wheel can we assume he was driving his own car?
Beats the crap out of a hired Focus . . .
Arrived into Dusseldorf on Friday afternoon and waiting there for us was our car for the three weeks, a white Maserati Quattroporte, the same car that had taken us around the Tour the year before. It's a subtle set of wheels, helps Ned and I move around un-noticed, because fitting in is very important to us. DOH
https://chpt3.com/blogs/journal/tour-de-france-stage-1
Another top 3 weeks of entertainment from P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® :thumbsup:This.
Yesh, me too also :thumbsup:
And considering the reception from some French fans, Froome's speech at the end seemed quite gracious.
Anyway, having now heard his acceptance speech I'm rather sorry for the guy. He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture. Still, he'd have won more friends by starting in French, however bad.
He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture.
Anyway, having now heard his acceptance speech I'm rather sorry for the guy. He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture. Still, he'd have won more friends by starting in French, however bad.
Considerably better speech than many have given in the past and in 2 languages. For some folk he will never do anything right and that is a cross he has to carry and I think he carries it well. He appears to be an outstanding cyclist compared to his peers who has dedicated his preparation to an end goal. Many folk will never like Team Sky because of their dominance or budget, but also appear to support teams in F1 with the same attitude and budget or in other sports such as football. That is the nature of the sport and no matter how much money and expertise you have, your whole race plan can be ruined by the actions of another rider, as was the case with Geraint Thomas.
Based on the performance of other younger riders this year, there are exciting times ahead!
He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture.
It was a pretty good effort for someone who obviously doesn't speak French that brilliantly - I certainly couldn't have done any better. And it did sound like all his own work too - though you'd think Nicolas Portal would have given him a hand with a few choice phrases, at least.
For some folk he will never do anything right and that is a cross he has to carry and I think he carries it well.
...his team is perceived as being much the same kind of machine as US Postal, although there are no drug allegations I've heard of...Where have you been?
He’s not naturally charming in front of the camera and he doesn’t care.
...his team is perceived as being much the same kind of machine as US Postal, although there are no drug allegations I've heard of...Where have you been?
Just think - he could have turned out like David Cameron or Jeremy Clarkson instead.
Just think - he could have turned out like David Cameron or Jeremy Clarkson instead.
The one with a finger up a pig's backside and the other just a pig's backside.
Well, duh. De gent is Belgian, until they chop their king's head off and become an official departement of la republique then he is not eligible for the combativity award. See section 12(b) "if the combativity award can be awarded to a Frenchman..."What are the odds on De Gendt going for a long one just to rub ASO's nose in it over the Prix de Combativité :demon:
WB's already been given the global Combativity doodah.
Quite. And everyone apart from Bethany (7) thinks it's a total chiz. Well, Super D Millar does anyway.
No, Jesus Corbyn went to a grammar, non-fee paying.
Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.
Is "Teh Waitrose Shopping Voucher 4 Services 2 Teh Kumquat Trade" a joke I'm not getting, or does Syrah just really like kumquats?
O hai! So now teh Tour iz doned so Yay! 4 C Froome M Matthews W Barguil & S Yates, but iz now tiem 4 teh coveted P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® TdF 2017 Awards 4 Stuffs That *** & Super D Mostly Daren’t Mention Because Libel Laws, sponsored by Teh Watchfinder-General’s mate P0rl1, from Leatherhead:(click to show/hide)
It used to be that you had a hard time on the Tour if you couldn't speak French, but I read the other day that English is becoming the lingua franca, so total immersion doesn't happen any more.
O hai! So now teh Tour iz doned so Yay! 4 C Froome M Matthews W Barguil & S Yates, but iz now tiem 4 teh coveted P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® TdF 2017 Awards 4 Stuffs That *** & Super D Mostly Daren’t Mention Because Libel Laws, sponsored by Teh Watchfinder-General’s mate P0rl1, from Leatherhead:(click to show/hide)
Have to respectfully disagree with this one
Teh McLaren-Honda Chocolate Teapot Ov Utter Uselessness (Team): FdJ.
I think that has to be Cofidis
Have to respectfully disagree with this one
Teh McLaren-Honda Chocolate Teapot Ov Utter Uselessness (Team): FdJ.
I think that has to be Cofidis
You've got to give them credit.Hands Nuncio his coat and indicates the direction of the door.
Curious lack of Leftpondians in the pelican this year though; only three USAnians and no Canuckistanis at all.
Cofidis last had a Tour de France stage win in 2008.To be fair to them they are only a Pro Continental team now, so their budgets and pulling power will be quite a bit below the World tour teams they are competing with.
No, Jesus Corbyn went to a grammar, non-fee paying.
Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.
Cofidis last had a Tour de France stage win in 2008.To be fair to them they are only a Pro Continental team now, so their budgets and pulling power will be quite a bit below the World tour teams they are competing with.
“We rely on his potential and his desire to win to further strengthen his record and that of the Cofidis team. We’re especially counting on a stage victory at the Tour de France."
No, Jesus Corbyn went to a grammar, non-fee paying.
Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.
Except that Corbyn was educated at Castle House Preparatory School, an independent school near Newport, Shropshire, before attending Adams' Grammar School as a day student. I assume the Preparatory School was fee paying and took place before he entered the selective education system.
I think I read that a large chunk of their wage budget is taken up with Nacer Bouhanni's wages, and they know they'll usually get a Tour de France wildcard, so it's a bit of a gamble on him being any good in July.
Irrespective of where J Corbyn, J Clarkson, gammon-faced pig-botherer D Cameron or C Froome actually went to school, I don't suppose any of them actually had any say in the matter. No-one asked me before I was packed off to serve a ten-stretch at st custards :'(... and probably no say in their country of birth/upbringing, either.
Bad news: P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® are unable to cover it...*sulks*
Bereft. :'(
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint? ;D
....... Semaine Federale in Mortange au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint? ;D
:D
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint? ;D
:D
Veloman is tea total!
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint? ;D
:D
Veloman is tea total!
You mean you don't have a pint mug?
Bereft. :'(
There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.
Bereft. :'(
There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.
Or you could watch our Facebook feed from Semaine Federale in Mortagne au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.
Bereft. :'(
There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.
Right enough.QuoteOr you could watch our Facebook feed from Semaine Federale in Mortagne au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.
With an opening speech by M. le Maire? I might toddle over for that. <rant>Not for Lamouller's dame de paille, though, or any of the other rats on the Comité Directeur. In 2016 our local CoDep organized Toutes à Strasbourg, a concentration for women from all over. Something like 6000 turned up, many of them riding significant distances to get here. The amount of work involved was vast. It went off well, but my main cycling chum, El Presidente, who had pushed the thing through and done most of the work, had a fall when he was piloting a bunch of participants out of Brussels and spent the whole time in hospital. In return, the Fédé sent someone down to shake political hands in Strasbourg, the covering article in the Fédé's mag totally ignored El Prez and the CoDep, but Lamouller sent an official letter of congratulation to the prez of Randonneurs de Strasbourg, whose club did nothing to help and who personally, in his professional role on the city council, worked against the project. The federal handshaker received the congrats of the Comité.
Oh, "totally ignored" isn't quite true. A ride across into Germany was planned with a section up through their cycle paths, but access was refused and plans had to be changed. The article did say that the organizers had failed to obtain permission.
The Fédé can stuff it. I'm still a member, but just for the insurance and (hopefully) the odd diagonale.
</rant>
Bereft. :'(
There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.
Right enough.QuoteOr you could watch our Facebook feed from Semaine Federale in Mortagne au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.
With an opening speech by M. le Maire? I might toddle over for that. <rant>Not for Lamouller's dame de paille, though, or any of the other rats on the Comité Directeur. In 2016 our local CoDep organized Toutes à Strasbourg, a concentration for women from all over. Something like 6000 turned up, many of them riding significant distances to get here. The amount of work involved was vast. It went off well, but my main cycling chum, El Presidente, who had pushed the thing through and done most of the work, had a fall when he was piloting a bunch of participants out of Brussels and spent the whole time in hospital. In return, the Fédé sent someone down to shake political hands in Strasbourg, the covering article in the Fédé's mag totally ignored El Prez and the CoDep, but Lamouller sent an official letter of congratulation to the prez of Randonneurs de Strasbourg, whose club did nothing to help and who personally, in his professional role on the city council, worked against the project. The federal handshaker received the congrats of the Comité.
Oh, "totally ignored" isn't quite true. A ride across into Germany was planned with a section up through their cycle paths, but access was refused and plans had to be changed. The article did say that the organizers had failed to obtain permission.
The Fédé can stuff it. I'm still a member, but just for the insurance and (hopefully) the odd diagonale.
</rant>
That sounds about par for the Fédé these days. But don't ignore it please - get on your high horse and make noise. Sooner or later the current Fédé direction will be dying out and we will need new blood or the whole thing will die with them (although of course I still support the ex-clubmate who is Trésorier Fédéral, even if I don't entirely agree with him :-\ )
If you liked THAT photo - you can have it..... for £55
https://www.bandofclimbers.com/products/tour-de-france-2017-that-crash-print
Just think - he could have turned out like David Cameron or Jeremy Clarkson instead.
The one with a finger up a pig's backside and the other just a pig's backside.
Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.
Anyway, I agree with the basis of Citoyen's post in that his environment in the early years have shaped him to be what he is now and I don't see much wrong with that. Looking at his smile with his son shows the more human side to him that is hidden away from the cameras and many comments have been made in other areas about how he always has time for the fans. He is no Hinault, Wiggo or Cav in terms of temperament or character and some will bemoan his perceived lack of character, as will others bemoan his cycling style of nodding and arms all over the place, but what cannot be denied is his ability on a bike.
.. No-one asked me before I was packed off to serve a ten-stretch at st custards :'(
If you liked THAT photo - you can have it..... for £55
https://www.bandofclimbers.com/products/tour-de-france-2017-that-crash-print