Grammar that makes you cringe

[Mr Larrington]

That, along with “medal”, has been around at least since the Beijing Olympics.  This is not an excuse, BTW.  Nor is the fact that Victoria Pendleton once said it.

It serves a purpose:

I came 4th in the egg and spoon race but would have won if it hadn't been for those medalling kids.

(Adds Nuncio's name to The List)

[hubner]

"To provision" has been around for ages, meaning "to supply with provisions". You provision a ship before it sets sail, for example.

I don't think I've seen that usage, perhaps that's more jargon than everyday language.

Yes, it's in the OED as a verb but states it's less common than the noun.

[hatler]

Surely, for complete reprehensibility, that should have read : -

I came 4th in the egg and spoon race but would have podiumed if it hadn't been for those medalling kids.

[hubner]

The verb "must" seems to be changing its meaning. When I were young, it meant something that you didn't really have any option over doing. Now, it seems to mean something that I'd really like you to do, but know perfectly well you won't, as in every second news report lately of impassioned pleas from campaigners earnestly saying things such as:

The government must double the pensions of everyone with a Q in their surname.

Mmm...how about "you must be really tired". "Must" as a suggestion must have been around for a long time, I would have thought.

[hatler]

Or even every football pundit now where the stock phrase is "he must score there" as opposed to "he really should have scored there".

[T42]

Irritating turns of speech N°531002 (or thereabouts): "go ahead".  Some technical whizz is showing you how to reconnect your furdle to your gnumpf: "and when you've got the nargle screw started in the hole, go ahead and push it through. I'll just go ahead and do that now. And now I'm going to go ahead and put the nut on the other end, so I'll just... go ahead... and do that now." And so on until the desire to go ahead and crucify the numbskull upside-down over the Falgbagdrafaffjallajøkul caldera becomes overwhelming.

[Mr Larrington]

Surely, for complete reprehensibility, that should have read : -

I came 4th in the egg and spoon race but would have podiumed if it hadn't been for those medalling kids.

Your nem vill also be on ze list!

Bugger, my pen's run out…

[Tim Hall]

Or even every football pundit now where the stock phrase is "he must score there" as opposed to "he really should have scored there".

TFL's exhortation at the top and bottom of every escalator that "Dogs must be carried" is worth a mention too.

[bhoot]

TFL's exhortation at the top and bottom of every escalator that "Dogs must be carried" is worth a mention too.

I seem to remember that features in one of the Paddington films.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Who the hell hyphenates a phrase like this? "Budgets were offset by a month generally-speaking." I wish this were an April fool but no, just a writing fool. 

[ravenbait]

Or even every football pundit now where the stock phrase is "he must score there" as opposed to "he really should have scored there".

TFL's exhortation at the top and bottom of every escalator that "Dogs must be carried" is worth a mention too.

Must is for giving orders and advice, or expressing obligation. "Dogs must be carried" is an example of giving an order. I've got nothing on the "must score there" if it's being used to refer to something that has already happened. It can only be used for present and future circumstances. Unless the commentator is watching the game on replay, is treating it as if it is happening in real time (not strictly grammatically correct, but it's a valid stylistic choice for dramatic purposes), and is exhorting the player to make a successful shot at the goal (in the sense of, "the opportunity is wide open, he must score there if we are to consider his skillset equal to his having a place on this team"), it's just weird.

It can also be used to speculate about the truth of something, but I don't think that's what's happening in the football example.

Sam

[ravenbait]

Who the hell hyphenates a phrase like this? "Budgets were offset by a month generally-speaking." I wish this were an April fool but no, just a writing fool. 

There's a missing comma, as well.

Sam

[Davef]

Or even every football pundit now where the stock phrase is "he must score there" as opposed to "he really should have scored there".

TFL's exhortation at the top and bottom of every escalator that "Dogs must be carried" is worth a mention too.

Must is for giving orders and advice, or expressing obligation. "Dogs must be carried" is an example of giving an order. I've got nothing on the "must score there" if it's being used to refer to something that has already happened. It can only be used for present and future circumstances. Unless the commentator is watching the game on replay, is treating it as if it is happening in real time (not strictly grammatically correct, but it's a valid stylistic choice for dramatic purposes), and is exhorting the player to make a successful shot at the goal (in the sense of, "the opportunity is wide open, he must score there if we are to consider his skillset equal to his having a place on this team"), it's just weird.

It can also be used to speculate about the truth of something, but I don't think that's what's happening in the football example.

Sam

Perhaps the intent was to say that it was necessary for the player to score (in order not lose).

I don’t mind the word so I must be very tolerant.

[tiermat]

Yet another one of those self driving crashing cars https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56602502

[hatler]

Or even every football pundit now where the stock phrase is "he must score there" as opposed to "he really should have scored there".

TFL's exhortation at the top and bottom of every escalator that "Dogs must be carried" is worth a mention too.

Must is for giving orders and advice, or expressing obligation. "Dogs must be carried" is an example of giving an order. I've got nothing on the "must score there" if it's being used to refer to something that has already happened. It can only be used for present and future circumstances. Unless the commentator is watching the game on replay, is treating it as if it is happening in real time (not strictly grammatically correct, but it's a valid stylistic choice for dramatic purposes), and is exhorting the player to make a successful shot at the goal (in the sense of, "the opportunity is wide open, he must score there if we are to consider his skillset equal to his having a place on this team"), it's just weird.

It can also be used to speculate about the truth of something, but I don't think that's what's happening in the football example.

Sam

Good analysis there. Which makes me realise that use of this phrase only really grates when it is being deployed after the event, eg in the post-match summary.

[citoyen]

It can also be used to speculate about the truth of something

eg: "You must be fun at parties"

 

[ravenbait]

eg: "You must be fun at parties"

 

I don't go to parties because I have crippling social anxiety, as well as a weird form of synaesthesia that makes the noise feel like being in a jaccuzzi filled with rocks. That said, if someone held a party for grammar pedants to sit around with drinks and snacks to gripe about their pet hates in a mutually supportive environment before squeezing back into their respective "language is dynamic and evolving, and prescriptivism is classist and ableist" outfits, I'd be there.

Sam

[citoyen]

I don't go to parties because I have crippling social anxiety, as well as a weird form of synaesthesia that makes the noise feel like being in a jaccuzzi filled with rocks.

Yikes! That sounds like no fun at all. I don't go to parties much myself, but that's because I'm a miserable git.

That said, if someone held a party for grammar pedants to sit around with drinks and snacks to gripe about their pet hates in a mutually supportive environment before squeezing back into their respective "language is dynamic and evolving, and prescriptivism is classist and ableist" outfits, I'd be there.

 

[Pingu]

Yet another one of those self driving crashing cars https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56602502

House in collision with a car.

[citoyen]

Yet another one of those self driving crashing cars https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56602502

House in collision with a car.

Was it wearing high-vis?

[Moleman76]

Not so much grammar, but radio interviewees; when introduced, they say; "Thanks for having me".

I hear this as kissing up to the interviewer, with the thought that "if I am pleasant, they will interview me again, and I will gain credence and displace others' opinions on the matter"

[Cudzoziemiec]

Or "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to broadcast my opinion/publicise my business/etc".

[T42]

Not so much grammar, but radio interviewees; when introduced, they say; "Thanks for having me".

I'd love to hear the interviewer reply "Aye, you've been had all right".

[T42]

On a packet of chicken wings*: sans additifs ajoutés.  Without added additives, well I never.

BTW, ye punctuation mavens, should the asterisk go before or after the colon?

* yes, I know. Sad, isn't it?

[hellymedic]

Is tautology poor grammar?

I think the asterisk precedes the colon...