The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[ElyDave]

smacked my knee of the underside of the rung of the ladder today when carrying out gutter inspections, aluminum, so formed and has an edge. I very nearly said norty words, now have a nice little bruise and lump just above my kneecap

[Ham]

Now, I like to think of myself as having a reasonable facility in regard with languages. In particular I get names and pronunciation of people's names right. Well, at least I used to.

Following a conversation a few weeks ago, a forumite might question that, when I failed to recognise their name spoken as it should. One (this one) would have hoped that was an isolated incident, not a sign of the march of senility.

Today I was talking to an Italian in a meeting. His name is Michele. I looked, and called him "Michelle" like the english girl. It was only after the call, that I looked at their name and read it properly. The Italian pronunciation should be  Mik'hay-le 

[hellymedic]

Pronouncing 'Rochelle' correctly can be interesting in NW London...

[ian]

I have been instructed by people in the Vroom group to come here.

[Mrs Pingu]

*Snorts!*

[rafletcher]

Ah ha, so it does have locks 

[ian]

I checked the logbook, and we bought it in Nov 2006, so I correct myself, it's not just been 12 years.

Anyway, it's my wife's car.

She owes me now.

[aidan.f]

Overpaid the milkman last week. No cash to hand so BACS. £11.35 lost its d.point! John paid it back promptly. Found out yesterday, whilst paying cash that not the first and not the biggest error... He got 16k once!

[CommuteTooFar]

Yesterday
I went to the Chemist to collect a prescription for my mother. Tick.
I also needed a copy of the prescription for a blue badge application. Chemist says no go to surgery. Surgery gives me duplicate prescription.  I lose it walking home. FAIL.
Last night I remember previous case. Fifty years ago I was eight years old.  I was riding to the chip shop. I had list, 10 shilling note and a M&S carrier bag. I was riding on the best bike ever made with objects clamped with my little hand to the handle bars. A gust of wind and the 10 Shilling note blown away. The government noticed my anguish and introduced the 50p coin shortly afterwards.
Today
I went back to the surgery and got another duplicate prescription. Tick 

[quixoticgeek]

Just discovered I've ordered the wrong components for a circuit board. Write values, wrong size...

Amazingly I had managed to get the too big cap to fit, but the too big resister is a non starter...

So I placed another order for the right size parts. I double checked that all parts on the order were the right size.

The package arrived this morning. Yay.

I dig out the parts, and lay them out. I pull out the board and ready assembly.

Right, step one, Cin, that's a 10uF 25v X5R 0805 cap.

*rummage through pile*

Um, it's not here. Check order paperwork. I didn't order it.

Fuck.

Well maybe I can shoe horn the wrong size cap in again for just this part.

*rummages through original order*

It's not here.

I've successfully not ordered the part for Cin *TWICE* now.

I think my brain may be utterly fried

J

[SoreTween]

I think my brain may be utterly fried

J

Sympathy, parts procurement is apt to do that.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Yesterday
I went to the Chemist to collect a prescription for my mother. Tick.
I also needed a copy of the prescription for a blue badge application. Chemist says no go to surgery. Surgery gives me duplicate prescription.  I lose it walking home. FAIL.
Last night I remember previous case. Fifty years ago I was eight years old.  I was riding to the chip shop. I had list, 10 shilling note and a M&S carrier bag. I was riding on the best bike ever made with objects clamped with my little hand to the handle bars. A gust of wind and the 10 Shilling note blown away. The government noticed my anguish and introduced the 50p coin shortly afterwards.
Today
I went back to the surgery and got another duplicate prescription. Tick

Early 90s, I entered a phone box somewhere in Central Londinium to phone my boss, telling him I had successfully devilried the package and would be motorcycling pleasantly back to Bath unless he had further instructions for me. Took out my wallet, looking for phone card (or possibly it was coins) and a gust of wind blew a fiver (or possibly even a tenner) out of the phone box and through the gaps in the anti-personnel railings at the side of the road. On that day, I became an Olympic hurdler.

[Regulator]

I bought some Synairgen shares earlier this year and sold them about a month ago for a slight profit.

They've gone from 36p at market close on Friday to 158.5p this morning...

[fuzzy]

I bought some Synairgen shares earlier this year and sold them about a month ago for a slight profit.

They've gone from 36p at market close on Friday to 158.5p this morning...

Bleedin' Capitalists 

[Mrs Pingu]

While I was undercoating today I thought I would try that top tip of painters which is to put an elastic band across the top of the paint pot to wipe excess paint on instead of round the lip of the tin.
Upon completing the painting, I look askance at the pot and think, better be careful taking that band off or I'll get spattered with paint.
So I tried to careful but of course the pent up tension in the band had other ideas. I think you can guess what happened next.
Physics, Mrs Pingu, physics. 

[Jurek]

While I was undercoating today I thought I would try that top tip of painters which is to put an elastic band across the top of the paint pot to wipe excess paint on instead of round the lip of the tin.
Upon completing the painting, I look askance at the pot and think, better be careful taking that band off or I'll get spattered with paint.
So I tried to careful but of course the pent up tension in the band had other ideas. I think you can guess what happened next.
Physics, Mrs Pingu, physics. 

I'd not reached the end your first sentence, when I spotted (no pun intended) where this was going 

[Ham]

Oh my. Rubber band? instead of that, try some wire, light gauge stuff. Wind around the kettle handle, across to the other side.  You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.

[Mrs Pingu]

You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.

What do you do when you're finished, just pour it back in?

[Ham]

Yes. That way the general condition of the paint stays better (especially with things like high VOC eg eggshell, you don't get drippy drippy paint around the can. In between coats, you can pop the kettle in a plastic bag or - if you have a yoghurt pot or the like - put the lid on. Oil based paints, just pop the brush in a cut down bottle with water, water based, roll it in cling film.

[robgul]

Oh my. Rubber band? instead of that, try some wire, light gauge stuff. Wind around the kettle handle, across to the other side.  You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.

Piece of string across the paint kettle or roller scuttle for me - and my wallpaper pasting bucket has a string too for resting the brush (although I can't remember the last time I papered anything, must be >20 years)

Rob

[Ham]

If you have a reel of wire, it is much easier, quicker and more efficient to fit and use (eg )

[citoyen]

You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.

What do you do when you're finished, just pour it back in?

I thought the idea of using a paint kettle was to only decant a small amount at a time (and top up as necessary), so there should only be dregs left at the end, nothing to pour back, therefore no risk of contaminating the main pot.

Another reason for using a paint kettle is that it contains a lot less paint so is a lot less catastrophic if it gets knocked over. DAMHIKT.

[Ham]

You are using a paint kettle and not the tin, aren't you? Another top tip:  the 1kg yoghurt pots make perfect paint kettles.

What do you do when you're finished, just pour it back in?

I thought the idea of using a paint kettle was to only decant a small amount at a time (and top up as necessary), so there should only be dregs left at the end, nothing to pour back, therefore no risk of contaminating the main pot.

Another reason for using a paint kettle is that it contains a lot less paint so is a lot less catastrophic if it gets knocked over. DAMHIKT.

W-e-e-e-e-l, I'd actually describe it as having the optimum amount in the kettle so the risk of overloading the brush is lessened, also much more convenient than trying to carry/paint from a 2.5 litre can. Contamination of the can is not something that I've ever seen as a concern.

[citoyen]

W-e-e-e-e-l, I'd actually describe it as having the optimum amount in the kettle so the risk of overloading the brush is lessened, also much more convenient than trying to carry/paint from a 2.5 litre can.

Yes, all of the above.

Contamination of the can is not something that I've ever seen as a concern.

It’s something I learned from my ancient Reader’s Digest DIY manual. It sounds like good practice so I’ve always followed the advice.

In any case, if you’re only decanting in small amounts, as much as you need, you shouldn’t have any left over to put back in the tin.

[T42]

More a div-no-more moment: realized for the first time today that Shimano cassettes are packaged in such a way that you can slide the whole unit down the disposable plastic core and onto the freewheel in one piece.  In the past I've removed the core then struggled to keep the cassette in one piece while sliding it over, usually without success. Duh.