It's true Damon, it really is, and I've decided to catalogue the many, various and nefarious ways in which modern life is truly rubbish.
Starting with internet banking. In olden times, you'd ride your trusty stead to the high street branch, dismount, say verily to a maiden (no one knows why), before clanking in (armour, everyone wore it back then, you could never be sure when there'd be an outbreak of jousting or a crusade, or maybe just an encounter with revolting Frenchmen). Then you'd queue for a multiple of your dinner hour to served by a venomous orc.
Modern life means you can do all this in just your pants so long waits and orcs* are more a niche hobby than a lunch time staple. Supposedly. I've just spent thirty minutes trying to pay a gas/electric bill. Giving British Gas money is painful at best. Firstly, apparently I need a digital secure key, or rather it's just DSK. From HSBC. FFS. OK. Modern life thrives on constant abbreviation. I follow the steps and it sends me a verification code. I click messages to copy the long and winding code and in the process the mobile banking app moves along (verily). Is there a way to go back? Oh no. There's no backward with modern life. Everything is forward ho! We're dashing headlong into the future. It's a greased luge ride into shiny suits and hover cars (you also want to know what's rubbish about modern life, we're still not hovering anywhere – I mean, shit, we got as far as lawn mowers).
Anyway, twenty minutes later HSBC inform me that something has gone wrong. Thanks for the update, shitmiddens. Something has truly gone wrong.
*a tipsy nerd-minion tried to explain Dungeons and Dragons to me the other week. A bar narrative choice I fear she came to regret.