Audax anxiety

[Dai P]

I have been dreaming of the roads being open and the rides long.  However, as the time to start riding again gets nearer I am starting to feel anxious. And it’s a bit of a worry.  I am not a hard core Audax rider but the odd SR and a few bigs rides as well as a few rides most years has kept me happy.  But now!  In the last 18 months I have retired from work, had Covid and only done a few 30-40k rides since 2019 PBP.... and the thought of a 200k ride fills me with worry.  I am sure it will be fine, I will get fit, or at least fitter but am I along with this fear!  And what is the best way to feel excited not anxious!

[Ajax Bay]

Get a ride in and don't worry if it's not a hundred k.

[Nick Firth]

A good way of getting back into it is by riding a few Brevet Populaire 100k events, there's the feeling of taking part & they'll build up your fitness, take your time & don't pressure yourself, but saying that, I'll probably do a 200, blow up at 150k & finish in a heap.

[Geriatricdolan]

I feel the same way... although decision has been easier for me... after lengthy arguments at home, my absence over long brevets has been duly noted and therefore for the good and peace it was decided that Audax is to be shelved.

Luckily, I got interested in TT and Hill climbs, which take minutes to ride and overall I am never away for more than a few hours...

Everybody is a winner

[Hot Flatus]

Take lights with you and don't worry about finishing time

[alfapete]

I'm a long way off a 200, you're not alone.

[sojournermike]

Also, don’t underestimate the level of post Covid anxiety you may be feeling. It’s being recognised that there are quite a lot of people that are suffering, effectively, varying degrees of post COVID PTSD, which can make it very challenging to re-engage with previous activities.


Edited to add - I think for most people the answer to this is to build up slowly to recover confidence, although some people need more support etc. However, it’s important to know that you’re not alone.

[Tomsk]

Lower your expectations, underperform and keep to an unambitious average speed: Set off last, hook up with a seasoned campaigner or two chugging along at the back of the field. Have a laugh. Stop for an ice cream/beer or whatever. Lose the fear of AUK time limits. Don't worry if you're out of time, it's still a nice day out.

After a back injury in 2000 that's roughly how I got back into riding longer distances.

[josser]

Like Tomsk said, take it slowly. I had COVID just under a year ago and it’s been a difficult road back to feeling confident on the bike. If I pushed myself too hard too quickly, I’d get a COVID flashback, which in turn would dent my confidence and lead to a downward spiral.

After a few false starts last year, after which I never thought I would feel normal again, I decided to take tomsk’s advice and ease myself back in very slowly. Starting more or less form zero at the beginning of the year, I kept the distance and intensity very low, but did it frequently. I prioritised eating healthily, hydrating properly, threw in some yoga and walking, and most importantly listened to my body.

I’ve built it up over the last 2.5 months and am now doing 6 cycling sessions a week - 3 on the indoor trainer and 3 outside. The indoor trainer sessions allow me to increase intensity safely and the outside sessions have been about increasing volume, but all done at 3-4kph less than I would usually ride a brevet.

The result is that I’ve managed to raise my FTP from about 190W to 265W and last weekend I managed to ride 135km (I’m working my way up to 200k by the end of this month). I still don’t feel great on some days, and there is certainly an anxiety that I will regress, or long covid will strike again. But the important thing is that I’ve enjoyed the journey. At the beginning, I was worried, and almost convinced, I would never be able to ride a 200 again. But through a very gentle, but consistent “rehab” programme, I now feel that a 200 is within my grasp again.

Good luck, but take tomsk’s advice, and start small and go gently.

[Lightning Phil]

1. Get back into the habit of riding your bike for however long feels ok for now. Don’t worry about speed, in fact make them easy pace. The aim is to get the time in and get used to longer durations. Increase the length of your rides when you feel ready.
2. When you do restart audax try a 100km and as Tomsk says; see finishing within the time limit as a bonus.  If you are out of time then so what.

When my fitness has been down or I’m out of practice. I’ve set off with the aim of just getting round, no matter how long it takes.  It’s quite liberating not worrying about time limits. Often as not I’d roll in ahead of limits anyway after a full day out. If you’ve never been in the full value group before. It’s a rather supportive and friendly sociable bunch.

When I do 200s and my wife asks what time I’ll be back. I always give her a full value interpretation.  It’s quite liberating for me as it removes time pressure from that point of view. Then 9/10 I’m back ahead of time and if I’ve been slower than usual I’m back when I said I would be.

If we keep doing this audax malarkey long enough. We are all destined to end up a regular of the full value crowd.

[Clemo]

I had the same worries during lockdown #1 but once back at it I found I was a bit slower but could still do a 200. I think we loose speed quickly (no pun intended) but endurance seems to take longer to disappear.

[frankly frankie]

When I do 200s and my wife asks what time I’ll be back. I always give her a full value interpretation.  It’s quite liberating for me as it removes time pressure from that point of view. Then 9/10 I’m back ahead of time and if I’ve been slower than usual I’m back when I said I would be.

I take it you don't have a milkman ...

[salar55]

Will lockdown bring back the old Audax season , Audax all year round never appealed to me. The short sharp season from Feb to June was ideal training , 100 km to 600km then going away for a cyclotouring holiday feeling fit.

[Lightning Phil]

When I do 200s and my wife asks what time I’ll be back. I always give her a full value interpretation.  It’s quite liberating for me as it removes time pressure from that point of view. Then 9/10 I’m back ahead of time and if I’ve been slower than usual I’m back when I said I would be.

I take it you don't have a milkman ...

You’ve lost me with that comment.

[Ben T]

When I do 200s and my wife asks what time I’ll be back. I always give her a full value interpretation.  It’s quite liberating for me as it removes time pressure from that point of view. Then 9/10 I’m back ahead of time and if I’ve been slower than usual I’m back when I said I would be.

I take it you don't have a milkman ...

You’ve lost me with that comment.

Don't worry Phil, it's nice that you're sure she wants to know the maximum amount of time you'll be out, rather than in order to know what the minimum amount of time is 

[SR Steve]

I know the feeling of Audax anxiety very well following a recent serious cycling accident. I was extremely nervous about any road cycling at all because the accident recalibrated my perception of risk, particularly from motor vehicles.

It happened 150km into my last DIY 200km Audax attempt in December when a car drove straight past STOP signs without slowing down and hit me from the right at a crossroads. My helmet bulls-eyed the car windscreen, knocking me out and causing multiple skull fractures, a fractured wrist, eye injuries, a broken front tooth and deep cuts and grazes to my face. I came round on the road several metres in front of the car and fortunately the driver had stopped and called an ambulance. I had designed my route to stay local within the borough of Rushcliffe, but ended up staying overnight at the QMC hospital in Nottingham in the ward next to A&E.

Nearly three months on, I have mostly healed up and recovered, but still being treated for lingering lower back pain caused by the accident. I had recently done some light turbo riding to supplement my physiotherapy and by last Friday I felt ready to ride on the road again so put my cycling clothes on. The weather was ideal, warm and sunny, but I just faffed about with my bikes all day and simply daren’t go out. Saturday and Sunday were the same. Normally I hardly faff at all, but I managed to spend three whole days faffing, wearing my cycling clothes, but not going anywhere.

By Sunday evening I realised that I just had to face my demons and go out regardless. It felt slightly weird balancing on the bike at first, but soon it felt good and easier than the turbo. I was on my Specialized Roubaix Elite, the same as the one I was riding in the accident although without aero bars, bags and mudguards. My destination was the scene of the accident, just 10km from home and I took the opportunity to see the approach to the crossroads from the car’s point of view and photographed all of the lit signs. I went directly home the same way so clocked up 20.5km.

I rode a similar distance on Monday and slightly less on Tuesday, but pushing harder and going faster than expected. Because of the awful weather today I did a 1.25 hour turbo session instead. I plan to lower my effort and gradually increase my distance over the next few weeks, hopefully getting up to 200km in April. I was shattered after each of my four rides and it’s a long way from 20km to 200km, but at least I’ve made a start.

[Dai P]

Thanks folks, always good to know that others feel the same.  Have now entered the Woodman! So a good target, now just need to get out on the bike. 

[LittleWheelsandBig]

SR Steve, it took me quite a while to get my nerve back after getting walloped by a car many years ago. Little and often is a good desensitisation approach.

I have ridden little distance since knocking over a perm SR in October. The build up has begun in earnest though.

[L CC]

Blimey Steve, I had no idea. Good to hear you're on the mend.

Sometimes I think returning is harder than doing it the first time- there's less to celebrate as you've done it before and the inevitable vicissitudes of ageing mean me-then is largely 'better' than me-now.

The other side of the coin is that you've done it before, so chances are, you can do it again.

It largely depends how self-flagellating I feel.

[LittleWheelsandBig]

As boab says, returning to audax is pretty tough because not only do you not laud your own improvements (‘Why is this so difficult? It is far below what used to be routine for me’) but your friends and family often do much the same thing. There isn’t even any joy as a result of self-discovery as you already know that <whatever> is actually achievable for you. It is more a case of just dragging yourself up the hill to achieve your target. Some sad folk (e.g. me) enjoy experiencing something beyond pure self-validation at times. I suppose collecting meaningless cloth badges is just part of that.

[CrazyEnglishTriathlete]

Like Tomsk said, take it slowly. I had COVID just under a year ago and it’s been a difficult road back to feeling confident on the bike. If I pushed myself too hard too quickly, I’d get a COVID flashback, which in turn would dent my confidence and lead to a downward spiral.

Good luck, but take tomsk’s advice, and start small and go gently.

That's not too dissimilar from the experience I had with glandular fever a long while ago.  Both the experience and the advice. 

[Peat]

I'm in a similar situation, and in a highly unusual revelation for me, I'm drawing the positives out of it.

I found my first year of audax'ing so exciting. Each new distance was full of nervous excitement of "Can i do this?". Once I had an SR under my belt, the answer was "Yes to all" and it sometimes felt like I was just going through the motions.

SO, With my last Audax being the Poor Student in Jan 2020 & my last ride of over 100miles being some time last summer - I'm actually excited to get to the distances again.

[mattc]

Blimey Steve, I had no idea. Good to hear you're on the mend.

Well I'm even later to this, but yeah - VERY glad to know you're alive and increasingly kicking!
(I was mentally Ok after my big bike crash, probably because I could ride slowly almost straight away (but barely walk!). Much worse was a pretty serious car crash, which almost prevented me ever driving at night again. These things do take time ... )

Despite fbaob's "enouraging" words, I doubt aging will have taken much toll since December

Anyway, good luck everyone. I've no idea where my fitness is, but have pencilled in several long rides. I'm just grateful we can think about doing these things again - if I fail to "perform", that's no big deal

[BrianI]

I can understand how you feel, Dapper.

In my case, I feel anxious about ever being able to ride a bike again outside, audax or not!

To cut a long story short, I've been dealing with neurological issues since July 2020, may end up having to use a recumbent / recumbent trike depending on what the eventual diagnosis is.

I certainly can't see me audaxing this year... 

[drossall]

200k is the longest I ride anyway. Normally I build up to it with some 100s. I appear to have entered the Double Dutch 200, which I've ridden a number of times before, off the back of nothing more than almost-daily Zwifting, usually for not more than an hour. Hmm, we'll see how that works out then