Author Topic: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...  (Read 2780 times)

The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« on: March 30, 2021, 03:15:20 pm »
Any piece or section that can be separated from something, will eventually tend separate itself and become lost.

case in point, multitool chain hook.
Destroying rainforest for economic gain is like burning a Renaissance painting to cook a meal.  EOW.

ravenbait

  • Someone's imaginary friend
  • Pudge controls the weather.
    • Someone's imaginary friend
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2021, 03:18:00 pm »
Anything that can rattle will eventually start rattling.

Sam
https://ravenbait.com
"Created something? Hah! But that would be irresponsible! And unethical! I would never, ever make... more than one."

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2021, 04:05:45 pm »
There are real hills, Dutch hills and brane hills.

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2021, 04:33:44 pm »
All components have a built in ability to make their squeak sound like it’s coming from somewhere else.

LMT

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2021, 05:03:33 pm »
Applies to brevets or any longish ride:-

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2021, 05:45:16 pm »
The last 20km of any ride are always the hardest, irrespective of total distance.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2021, 05:46:42 pm »
Downhill is always the wrong direction.  (So treat inviting descents with suspicion and check your map/routesheet/gremlin first.)
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Hot Flatus

  • Mediocre polyglot.Scoutmaster and nudist
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2021, 05:48:39 pm »
Anywhere with the word 'down' in its name is, in fact, up.

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2021, 05:49:48 pm »
Anything stored in a jersey rear pocket while riding a recumbent will either cause bruising, be squished into an unappetising mush or have the important information written on it rendered unreadable by sweat.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2021, 05:56:48 pm »
Any piece of cycling equipment that is both  a) really good at its job  and  b) subject to wear  will be discontinued by the manufacturer by the time you need a replacement.

Corollary: Any attempt at stockpiling to avoid this problem will render the original item either indestructible, or unusable due to component incompatibility, weight gain/loss, acquired disability or similar.
Careful, Kim. Your sarcasm's showing...

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #10 on: March 30, 2021, 05:58:05 pm »
You didn't find both the thorns in your tyre before re fitting and inflating.
Quote from: Kim
And remember that friends who organise things on Facebook aren't proper friends anyway.

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #11 on: March 30, 2021, 06:08:38 pm »
The p**ct*re faerie is looking out for the day you forgot to bring your pump/CO2

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #12 on: March 30, 2021, 06:25:05 pm »
Anywhere with the word 'down' in its name is, in fact, up.

Downham is therefore, up my way?

road-runner

  • Currently in Slovakia
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #13 on: March 30, 2021, 07:04:25 pm »
Anywhere with the word 'down' in its name is, in fact, up.

And conversely, I have often wondered why High Wycombe is in the valley.

Hot Flatus

  • Mediocre polyglot.Scoutmaster and nudist
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #14 on: March 30, 2021, 07:27:27 pm »
Used to be called Wycombe before everyone got hooked on crack

Zed43

  • prefers UK hills over Dutch mountains
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2021, 08:30:01 pm »
You'll have a head wind on the way out. And again on the way back.

meddyg

  • 'You'll have had your tea?'
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2021, 08:35:57 pm »
If you've paused to look at your phone or eat a sandwich
passing cyclists enquire if you're OK.....

sweet !

The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2021, 09:40:55 pm »
Anywhere with the word 'down' in its name is, in fact, up.

And conversely, I have often wondered why High Wycombe is in the valley.
... apart from the bit which is on top of the hill, Downley.

meddyg

  • 'You'll have had your tea?'
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #18 on: March 30, 2021, 10:09:16 pm »
Sleek cyclists in club colours
don't make eye contact or say 'Ayup!'


Addition of tri-bars and testosterone reinforces behaviour.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #19 on: March 31, 2021, 12:04:12 am »
Everyone else hates you. Including some cyclists.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #20 on: March 31, 2021, 05:47:46 pm »
There are safe places to cycle, they are called roads.
There are dangerous places to cycle, they are called cycle infrastructure.

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #21 on: April 02, 2021, 07:51:30 am »
The last 20km of any ride are always the hardest, irrespective of total distance.
Strangely I've often found the opposite to be true on long rides.

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #22 on: April 02, 2021, 08:05:20 am »
The p**ct*re faerie is looking out for the day you forgot to bring your pump/CO2
This is true. I always carry a pump, spare tube and patches. Upon moving up to Yorkshire a few years ago I left my summer carbon bike in London as I was going to be travelling back 10 days later to go off to do the Etape du Tour. So I went out for a hard ride on my winter bike only to realise that I had left my bag with the above items on the other bike. So I stuffed a spare tube in my pocket and hoped for the best. I told my wife that I'd be back in about 3 hours. Well you know how it is, out in the Dales lovely weather, so the ride got somewhat extended and having passed lots of cyclists all afternoon I got a p*ncture between Lofthouse and Patley Bridge. So I decided to remove the tube, find the cause of the puncture and await another cyclist to borrow a pump. Needless to say I waited 45 minutes before another cyclist came by! I couldn't phone my wife because I couldn't get signal and I stopped a few times on the way back with the same result only to discover when I go home that it was a problem with my phone. But boy did I make good time from Patley Bridge to  Harrogate. When I got home about 2 hours later than expected my wife wasn't at all worried (not the first time this has happened  ;D). However it just goes to prove that the above statement is VERY true. I ride virtually every day of the week and I reckon I get on average around 1 p*cnture a year.

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #23 on: April 02, 2021, 08:23:02 am »
Riders who come up and talk to you always think they are interesting, and that you want their conversation and presence.

Re: The somewhat unwritten laws of cycling...
« Reply #24 on: April 02, 2021, 08:45:04 am »
There are safe places to cycle, they are called roads.
There are dangerous places to cycle, they are called cycle infrastructure.

I'd say mostly but good infrastructure in the rare places it exists are wonderful....but thats a whole different thread to this one

Oh and bus lanes which only serve a temporary closed park and ride are bloody wonderful to cycle in