Author Topic: it's friday, so back to that new topic business  (Read 2007 times)

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« on: April 30, 2021, 02:28:05 pm »
Last week, I tried to start a new topic. It seems, faced with an audience, that I was struck by a case of performance anxiety, and not even a dose of figurative viagra could put the perk back in my topic starting.

Today, I'm feeling a bit more confident and optimistic that I might be able to start a topic later. I can't make any promises. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster here.
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citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2021, 03:03:35 pm »
You need a more clickbaity subject line. Here are a few suggestions...

"7 reasons you simply must read ian's new thread"

"ian started a new thread and you'll never guess what happened next"

"90% of yacf users don't know this neat trick to make you read ian's new thread"
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2021, 03:05:41 pm »
You need a more clickbaity subject line. Here are a few suggestions...

"7 reasons you simply must read ian's new thread"

"ian started a new thread and you'll never guess what happened next"

"90% of yacf users don't know this neat trick to make you read ian's new thread"

Do you work for <INSERT COUNTY NAME> Live website?

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2021, 03:05:46 pm »
"Thread postponed until 2022 because of COVID".
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2021, 03:08:25 pm »
Do you work for <INSERT COUNTY NAME> Live website?

No, but I have recently done a course in SEO.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2021, 03:19:52 pm »
Over 40s in Swindon are missing out on this unbelievable benefit
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

woollypigs

  • Mr Peli
    • woollypigs
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2021, 03:21:54 pm »
Well it's Friday so that explains many things.
Current mood: AARRRGGGGHHHHH !!! #bollockstobrexit

ravenbait

  • Someone's imaginary friend
  • Pudge controls the weather.
    • Someone's imaginary friend
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2021, 03:22:22 pm »
"Learn the amazing transformation this housewife achieved by reading Ian's new thread."

Sam
https://ravenbait.com
"Created something? Hah! But that would be irresponsible! And unethical! I would never, ever make... more than one."

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2021, 03:24:10 pm »
Over 40s in Swindon are missing out on this unbelievable benefit
Over 40s in a place nowhere near where you are but somebody's spammy computer thinks you are are missing out on this unbelieavable benefit.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2021, 03:24:58 pm »
You need a more clickbaity subject line. Here are a few suggestions...

"7 reasons you simply must read ian's new thread"

"ian started a new thread and you'll never guess what happened next"

"90% of yacf users don't know this neat trick to make you read ian's new thread"

Yes, but if I attracted too much attention, I'd wilt even more.
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Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2021, 04:11:05 pm »
Has Sir considered mind-expanding substances?  It worked for those De Quincey and Huxley chaps.
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

SoreTween

  • Most of me survived the Pennine Bridleway.
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2021, 04:27:58 pm »
Clearly this thread, when Ian gets around to starting it, is going to be on the subject of procrastination.
2020 targets: None
There is only one infinite resource in this universe; human stupidity.

robgul

  • Cycle:End-to-End webmaster
  • cyclist, Cytech accredited mechanic & woodworker
    • Cycle:End-to-End
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2021, 04:31:43 pm »
Clearly this thread, when Ian gets around to starting it, is going to be on the subject of procrastination.

Hopefully infinite procrastination
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Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2021, 05:22:53 pm »
"You'll never believe how old/young/terrible/amazing $forummember looks now!"
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2021, 05:33:00 pm »
I have it on good authority that ian has grown a Tony Blair mullet in lockdown.
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #15 on: April 30, 2021, 05:37:46 pm »
Clearly this thread, when Ian gets around to starting it, is going to be on the subject of procrastination.

Hopefully infinite procrastination

Man, this is a tough crowd. It's worse than stand-up. Or in my case, sit-down.
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Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #16 on: April 30, 2021, 05:50:21 pm »
"Fifteen reasons why Ian can't get it up1."

(You won't believe #5)

1 Nooooo, his thread, duh!

Hot Flatus

  • Mediocre polyglot.Scoutmaster and nudist
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #17 on: April 30, 2021, 06:11:24 pm »
"You'll be amazed at what Rogerzilla looks like now"

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #18 on: April 30, 2021, 06:11:40 pm »
“ian's new thread IS TAKING THE INTERNET BY STORM!”

“UK SENIORS CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IAN'S NEW THREAD!”

“Why ian's new thread could cure cancer of the house price!”
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #19 on: April 30, 2021, 06:44:11 pm »
Ian was amazed when he learnt this one simple trick to starting a new topic.

What science can't explain about Ian starting a new topic.

<i>Marmite slave</i>

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #20 on: April 30, 2021, 07:14:27 pm »
“ian's new topic can burn belly fat while you sleep!”
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #21 on: April 30, 2021, 07:51:17 pm »
Is starting a new topic about not having started a new topic a new topic?

Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #22 on: April 30, 2021, 08:30:19 pm »
Is starting a new topic about not having started a new topic a new topic?

Why not start a new topic about that, and see?

I guess this is what happens when we finally run out of bike topics to talk about. Surely we haven't done the points for 100s topic enough yet?

ian

  • feat. Undead Jess & Finestre, Queen of Hell
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #23 on: April 30, 2021, 09:31:57 pm »
I nearly created an anti-topic about the things that haven't and aren't.

Then I stopped myself, because if I had, everything in this group would have been sucked in. By 11.59 pm, the epitaph of this group would be nothing more than a slight increase in residual background radiation.
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TimC

  • Old blerk sometimes onabike.
Re: it's friday, so back to that new topic business
« Reply #24 on: April 30, 2021, 09:34:52 pm »
I have to say that, in the pantheon of meaningless and useless threads, this is right up there.