Author Topic: Mr Simon Watson from the technical department of Windows  (Read 40822 times)

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #75 on: 30 November, 2015, 09:19:08 pm »

"OK, your computer is working fine now."
     "Oh, thank you vey much!"

That' a precis...

Wow!  They really fixed it!

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #76 on: 04 December, 2015, 10:34:31 am »
Kevin Williams from Talk Talk called me this morning...

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #77 on: 04 December, 2015, 10:36:55 am »
I was just thinking that it was time for the daily call.   Thanks for fielding that for me.   :thumbsup:

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #78 on: 04 December, 2015, 08:31:51 pm »
Damn - he obviously couldn't get through to me on the phone and he keeps to trying to email me.
Not half as much fun

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #79 on: 11 December, 2015, 12:26:20 pm »
Lt. Col. Larrington (retd.) alas fell for this yesterday.  Guess what I'll be doing over Christmas :(
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #80 on: 22 December, 2015, 11:57:43 am »
We are getting about one call a day from 'Simon'.

If mrsC answers the call, her instant response is 'fuck off'.

Mine was 'fuck off, arsehole'.

Voice sounds pretty much the same, same accent. You think they'd give up, wouldn't you?
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ian

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #81 on: 22 December, 2015, 12:07:08 pm »
My phone number seems to have 'leaked' as I'm now getting them. And PPI type rubbish. All from overseas to avoid TPS, of course.

I just tell them to 'fuck off' and hang up too. It doesn't seem to be discouraging them. I tried being polite. I did explain to one distant-sounding lady that as my 'accident' was fatal I wasn't sure there was any point in claiming. Apparently that was OK. She didn't seem fazed by the fact.

My computer isn't broke and I've never had PPI insurance or an accident so fuck the fucking fuck off.

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #82 on: 04 March, 2016, 08:31:39 am »
A nice lady from Microsoft phoned me just now. She said it was about "the computer". I adopt a very slow dozy speech style when I get these scam calls. Unfortunately the lady from Microsoft took an early, and accurate, decision that I was about to waste a lot of her time and hung up.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #83 on: 07 March, 2016, 04:30:57 am »
My phone number seems to have 'leaked' as I'm now getting them. And PPI type rubbish. All from overseas to avoid TPS, of course.

I just tell them to 'fuck off' and hang up too. It doesn't seem to be discouraging them. I tried being polite. I did explain to one distant-sounding lady that as my 'accident' was fatal I wasn't sure there was any point in claiming. Apparently that was OK. She didn't seem fazed by the fact.

My computer isn't broke and I've never had PPI insurance or an accident so fuck the fucking fuck off.

It's fun to play games with them.

I had one guy call me wanting to sell me a phone package so I told him I didn't have a phone. It was surprising just how long that left him confused, I don't think he ever quite regained his sales patter before the conversation petered out.

I still really want to get one of those hugely expensive numbers and give it to every telemarketer out there. If they want to call me I'm not interested. If they want to pay me 90 quid an hour to talk to me, I'll talk to them for as long as they want. It beats working for a living.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #84 on: 16 March, 2016, 10:40:43 am »
I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I pretend to be a brother of mine who doesn't exist. Said brother is of independent means, travels the world and lives in hotels (therefore has no landline, broadband, energy account etc, doesn't need a loan, credit card or mortgage and has people to drive him everywhere so doesn't need car insurance either). Said brother is just looking after my house while I'm away on business for an undetermined length of time. Always works.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #85 on: 09 April, 2016, 11:51:44 am »
Just had one. The computer was in a different room, so he had to hang on a long time. I told him there was a message on the screen. It said "fuck off you scamming cunt". The line went dead...
It is simpler than it looks.

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #86 on: 09 April, 2016, 12:15:08 pm »
We just had one too!

But I dont think this lady was Mr Simon Watson.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #87 on: 28 June, 2016, 11:13:20 am »
Just had my first one, he was quite patient explaining how the programs were on my computer on not on the TV, I found that quite hard to understand. Got bored after a while.

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #88 on: 15 July, 2016, 02:40:26 pm »
Very rude persons sounding to be of indian or similar origin claiming to be from BT Openworld enquiring to confirm information for my 'new' internet connection.

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #89 on: 15 July, 2016, 07:12:47 pm »
I had that exact one a couple of days ago.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #90 on: 15 July, 2016, 07:52:07 pm »
Seem to have had an (unanswered) call from France today.
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #91 on: 16 July, 2016, 04:37:35 pm »
Had one yesterday. He didn't know the word 'cunt' even after several uses of the word.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #92 on: 16 July, 2016, 04:41:54 pm »
'BT' tried yet again today.   This could become good sport.   :thumbsup:

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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #93 on: 19 July, 2016, 01:14:25 pm »
2nd call today.  From the "Windows and Mac department".  They're receiving lots of errors from my computer.

"From the Windows computer or the Mac computer?" I asked.

<click>
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Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #94 on: 19 July, 2016, 02:14:38 pm »
TPS today.   Wanted to sign me up for life membership.   Wanted my bank card details.   I refused.   "Do you think that we can just take money if you give us the information Sir?" ....

Oh how I laughed.  ::-)

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #95 on: 25 July, 2016, 07:28:31 pm »
Just had one of these. Kept them on the line for about ten minutes and got passed to the supervisor.

Asked them if they were happy doing a job where they came into work and lied to people all day.
And told them that they'd terrified my 75 year old mother when they had her on the phone for an hour one time.

The last words were: 'fuck your mother, fuck your sister' and then in a perfectly polite tone 'have a nice day'.

"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #96 on: 26 July, 2016, 06:53:32 pm »
When the double glazing salesman used to call I spent sometime telling the salesman how I had bricked up all the windows to reduce the window tax element of the rates and how effective it had been.  With the added insulation it reduced my heating bills but the candles were expensive.

More recently in a flight of fantasy when an accident person phoned, I talked to them as if they were 999 and there had just been an accident, the person on the floor was bleeding heavily from multiple places and was unconscious, what did they think I should do?  This went on for several minutes before i asked what i should do with the knife and gun i had used to create the wounds at which point the line went silent!

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #97 on: 27 July, 2016, 12:11:59 pm »
I was doing really well, got over 14 minutes before he (sorry, his supervisor) cleared down. Couldn't tell me what the errors meant in event viewer despite me getting a very half hearted admission that he was from Microsoft. I was starting to enjoy it as well.

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #98 on: 28 July, 2016, 11:04:33 am »
After an amusing fifteen minutes yesterday afternoon with Michael from Windows Technical Department my boredom threshold was reached and I told them that I was tired and that their thieving ways were not going to work today.   They angrily told me that they were going to f*ck me, my computer, my mother, my sister and my wife before cutting the call.

As far as I know none of their threats have yet come to fruition and that two are impossible anyway. 

Re: Mr Simon Watson fron the technical department of Windows
« Reply #99 on: 29 July, 2016, 01:52:48 pm »
"BT support" have called once yesterday and three times so far today.

Apparnetly I am a "lying them" and a very bad man.

You would thin that after wasting their time a few times they would remove my number form their robo dialer.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.