I really should change my broadband as I'm on lazy prices, because really, who wants to spend their evenings looking at broadband deals. I know it's probably all the same wires, and it's just branding. BT have been OK, tbh, but I don't think £48/month for basic* 70Mb/s is bargainalicious and far more than I'd pay as a new customer. Virgin always claim I can have fibre but that to date has been a fat lie and it always turns out that the bears have eaten their fibre. It's not fucking ursine All Bran, you beardy Branson fuckers. Then, of course, there's the hassle of them fucking up the transfer, which is the real threat, the knife at your throat. Change your deal, and the wires might get it, punk.
I find all this pointless choice soul-destroying. It must be a Finestre thing. I hate modern life. Let's bring communism back. What do you want for tea, comrade? Beetroot or cabbage? I'll have the beetroot. We don't have beetroot.
And a cream trimphone. I want a fucking cream trimphone. My parents have been on a waiting list for one of those since 1983.
*yeah, I'm old enough to remember my first 28.8kb/s modem.