Advice for living in France

[LEE]

I love France with one exception.  They have a general acceptance of dog-turds bordering on fondness.

It is the Mayor's civic duty, in any otherwise picturesque town, to ensure dog-turds are placed on every street corner amd pressed into every 10th cobblestone. 

There are also teams of council officials who will escort highly trained and yappy lap dogs around town, commanding them to hunch up and squeeze one out in front of any diners at street cafes. 
Rather than vomit on your Croque Monsieur you are expected to shout "Bravo Monsiuer Chien, Encore le merde", stand, salute and whistle La Marseillaise. It can be quite moving when you see it performed by several diners.

It is considered bad form to walk past a fresh dog turd and not stand and slip slightly on it.

Lovely way of life otherwise though.

Oh yes, apparently they don't have a French word for entrepreneur

[FatBloke]

Great stuff!

I'm going to Marseillan; 2nd biggest oyster producing region in the world and close to the largest nudist colony in France (cap d'agde)!

I shall take you up on your previous offer to visit and gorge on huitres and shall leave all my clothes behind!!!   

[gonzo]

Consider the offer withdrawn

[Bluebottle]

10.  Never eat andouillette.

Gah!  Philistine.  Andouillette Beaujolaise is well worth trying, as is boudin noir.  You only live once...

[Clouseau]And remember, when in restaurants, never ask for two eggs because one egg is an oeuf.[/Clouseau]*


*Bad pun, "best" said in an equally bad French accent.  Eh bien, mon manteau?  Vous êtes très gentil.

[Attitudeless Badger]

For serious advice, when you get there, go straight to the Marie to introduce yourself and ask for help on all the relevant papers, documents, etc that you may need.  We did this when we moved over here, and they were very friendly and helpful.

The other main tip is to learn to love/tolerate pastis.  If you can cope with the 'apero' culture, you are half way there.

[BornAgainCyclist]

Great stuff!

I'm going to Marseillan; 2nd biggest oyster producing region in the world and close to the largest nudist colony in France (cap d'agde)!

Fine if you're into fat German birds

[BornAgainCyclist]

. . . or blokes

[gonzo]

For serious advice, when you get there, go straight to the Marie to introduce yourself and ask for help on all the relevant papers, documents, etc that you may need.  We did this when we moved over here, and they were very friendly and helpful.

I don't think there should be any paperwork - I'm only there for 3 months and it's a holiday house I'm renting so I don't have to worry about any utilities.

[Tiger]

Article in Sunday Times about 'les echangistes' who have taken over the naturists haven where you are going. Described someone whipping his naked lady partner on the balcony (not sure if that is part of the anatomy in France) for the benefit of the passing trade. The clubs are apparently full of naked folk indulging in orgies. Clearly much more lively than it used to be.

[Panoramix]

Regarding paperwork and bossy "fonctionnaires" Remember the french say:

La loi est une barriere, les grands passent par dessus, les petits dessous et les imbeciles restent derriere.

Which would translate into something like " law is a barrier, tall people go above it, small underneath and idiots stay behind"

The dog poo bit is just to make sure that you stay awake! By the way, right foot is good luck, left is bad luck (I think) !