The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Mrs Pingu]

Really? I thought they moved in there ages ago? Or is this another new house?

[robgul]

Let me see, do I still have my platinum diamond encrusted membership card for this thread? Why, yes, I do. Step aside, amateurs.

I am at the tail end of works at Miss Ham's house; they have moved out of ours (huzzah! huzzah! it's only been six years months) and decoration and finish remains.

I have been putting up dado and picture rail (also, faux paneling), including to an external 90 bend. All was going well, I was, indeed quite pleased with the last bend I had to do (picture rail). All that remained was to fill the gaps with wood filler. I passed the tube of wood filler to someone who was helping strip the old paint to be opened with a chisel he had in his hand, which he did. I lovingly applied it to the bend, a fairly tedious  process. Here it is



A couple of hours later and it was not yet sandable. I wondered why, and wondered. Then I saw that the surface was somewhat shiny. Then I picked up the tube of wood filler and nothing had been squeezed out. Then I realised I had filled the bend with grab adhesive.

Cue much fun hoiking the adhesive out, without snapping any of the wood, cleaning up as best I could and reapplying wood filler. How the holy **** had I managed that?

That's on a par with the KY Jelly/Deep Heat selection error 

. . .  on a serious note, the curve in picture rail looks brilliant.

[Ham]

Really? I thought they moved in there ages ago? Or is this another new house?

I see you've been paying attention. They moved in, then out again to us while they have had the rear of the house demolished and an extension built.

[Mrs Pingu]

Ah!

[Ham]

. . .  on a serious note, the curve in picture rail looks brilliant.

Thanks, yes, I was quite happy with the result. Which makes it all the more annoying that I contrived to put Deep Heat on it. And of course, using Soudal adhesive might have been an excellent decision for the faux paneling, less so for bend filling and subsequent removal. Oh, and I was using a saw with a 1.4mm kerf which helped the original bend, less so gouging out goop.

[SoreTween]

Mrs Tween is being entered here by her own request. And divvery obv.

A several of days ago Mrs Tween was sewing, her current obsession. At one point as she sewed and sang along to something on the radio she shoved a needle into her material with great vigor and pulled it through the other side with such a flourish the needle became deeply embedded in her chin. It's still bleeding each time she washes 4 days later.

[Kim]

*wince*

That's worse than accidentally sewing your sewing to the clothes you're wearing...

[mrcharly-YHT]

A week ago, irritatedly ignore email reminder to change my work password.

Take a few days off while family visit.

Try to log into computer this morning. Try, try again.

What was the expiry date for my password? Oh, 2 days ago . . .

[PaulF]

A week ago, irritatedly ignore email reminder to change my work password.

Take a few days off while family visit.

Try to log into computer this morning. Try, try again.

What was the expiry date for my password? Oh, 2 days ago . . .

You're lucky, we don't get reminders, they just expire. Usually about a minute before the presentation is due to begin

[mrcharly-YHT]

A week ago, irritatedly ignore email reminder to change my work password.

Take a few days off while family visit.

Try to log into computer this morning. Try, try again.

What was the expiry date for my password? Oh, 2 days ago . . .

You're lucky, we don't get reminders, they just expire. Usually about a minute before the presentation is due to begin

90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

[arabella]

This unit would love to know how you work out which bits of the wall are the right places to attach the picture rail to (nail it in), and thus avoid divvery and picture rail falling off said wall as soon as a picture is hung off it.

[Jurek]

This unit would love to know how you work out which bits of the wall are the right places to attach the picture rail to (nail it in), and thus avoid divvery and picture rail falling off said wall as soon as a picture is hung off it.

I think I'd be screwing the picture rail to the wall using screws and rawl plugs of some sort rather than nails.
Ham OTP has recent experience, I believe.

[Ham]

The simple answer is that grab adhesive provides sufficient strength, assuming a normal quality wall, this is what I was using. On a blank wall, pencil in the top line all the way, I use a masonry nail that goes about 25mm into the wall as a locator to ensure full alignment and adhesion, the nails will also help straighten any irregularities in the wood, I drill before nailing to avoid splitting and counter-punch and fill to hide the heads, I use about 1 per meter. Without restriction, I would start in the middle and work out, where you have a mitre to join to, start there with an assistant holding the long end if needed and work away. If you need to join lengths for a run, use a 45 bevel, do not try to butt a square joint, it will be ugly.

I use screws and plugs to pull in picture rail or dado only where you want to follow an uneven wall without gaps, it shouldn't be needed for strength, but obviously if you are concerned about the state of the surface, then plugs and screws can be used, countersink and fill over to hide the head.

[Mr Larrington]

Mr Larrington is riding the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle to Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles when he rounds a corner in the depths of the maze that carries pedestrian and cycle traffic beneath the Crooked Billet roundabout and above the N. Circular and sees that the path ahead is flooded.  “Aha!” he thinks.  “The pedestrian side is a couple of inches higher than the bike path so the water will be less deep.  Therefore I shall ride on that bit instead!”

Mr Larrington fails to note the presence of the kerb 'twixt the two bits of the path.  He falls off.  Ankle, knee, elbow, dignity.  The latter due to having one shoe pull out of the pedal and the accompanying foot out of the shoe while the other remaining firmly attached to a burning bike.  The knee is going to be very hurty by tea-time

Ob-rant: it hasn’t rained today.  I'm pretty sure it didn’t rain yesterday.  So why has a man from the Cooncil/Highways Agency/Milk Marketing Board* not come round with a bilge pump, sucked the water into a lorry and dumped it in the canal where it belongs

* I've no idea who’s responsible for its care and feeding but strongly suspect that whoever you ask it’s Someone Else.

Edit: reported to the Cooncil who aim to have it fixed within ten working days

Edit 2: Not ours, say the Cooncil.  Forwarded to TfL

[citoyen]

90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

[T42]

Mr Larrington fails to note the presence of the kerb 'twixt the two bits of the path.  He falls off.  Ankle, knee, elbow, dignity.  The latter due to having one shoe pull out of the pedal and the accompanying foot out of the shoe while the other remaining firmly attached to a burning bike.  The knee is going to be very hurty by tea-time

GWS, Mr. L, your country Mortagne-au-Perche needs you.

[mrcharly-YHT]

90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

[TheLurker]

...min 12 alpha with special char.

The rules for our passwords changed at some point in the last week or so.  Nooo, they didn't make them any more sensible, quite the reverse.   Now you'd think a change like this would be announced LOUDLY to all and sundry, wouldn't you?  Was it?  Of course it wasn't, leopards may come into it when discussing the visibility and accessibility of the announcement.  Cue much hilarity and gaiety as well as a great many guffaws to boot as people found they couldn't set valid passwords as their current ones expired.  Why I've never know so much joviality in one place.  Quite lifted one's spirits.

This post may contain traces of both irony & sarcasm.

[cygnet]

90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

That (in a business concept) is fucking insane.
I've got emails stored back for 20years, and yes, I still occasionally need to search for some of them.

[Mrs Pingu]

This.

[barakta]

We have a ork database that requires a new password every 45 days and it can only be between X and Y chars long, needs 1 upper case, 1 lower case, 1 number and 1 special char but the instructions for what it can contain are incorrect. I have a 30 day reminder for reset cos I kept missing the 45. I hate it. I want to send articles showing repeated password changes like this is NOT secure but I'll only get a lecture from their manager again who I have already told that the system is hideous and I'm a techie. It takes 20 mins to load!

[CrinklyLion]

*wince*

That's worse than accidentally sewing your sewing to the clothes you're wearing...

I still remember cross-stitching my bit of binca to my skirt when I was in the infants....

[L CC]

90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

That (in a business concept) is fucking insane.
I've got emails stored back for 20years, and yes, I still occasionally need to search for some of them.

I have a regular rant with our IT department about this, that goes along the lines of

I don't need instructions as to how to delete emails which are larger than 1mb, I know how to do it, but I am not going to, because those emails are part of a conversation about customer artwork which I need to refer back to at some unknown date in the future. Just sort out more server space to store them. If we haven't got enough space, that's your problem not mine.

[Jurek]

90 day password cycle, min 12 alpha with special char.

Doesn't result in difficult-to-remember passwords, oh no, never.

Whoever invented that policy should put themselves forward for this thread.

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

That (in a business concept) is fucking insane.
I've got emails stored back for 20years, and yes, I still occasionally need to search for some of them.

I have a regular rant with our IT department about this, that goes along the lines of

I don't need instructions as to how to delete emails which are larger than 1mb, I know how to do it, but I am not going to, because those emails are part of a conversation about customer artwork which I need to refer back to at some unknown date in the future. Just sort out more server space to store them. If we haven't got enough space, that's your problem not mine.

Our IT wanted to claw back some space on the server, the upshot of which is that we now have no record whatsoever of what we did between 2014 and 2017.
Very helpful 

[Feanor]

I suspect they are also the person who came up with the 30-day auto-delete emails policy.

That results in constant; Email thread discusses issue X.  Three months later, customer mentions issue X again. Product manager dashes around, saying we must resolve issue X; said issue was explained to be a non-issue in (now deleted) email thread.

That (in a business concept) is fucking insane.
I've got emails stored back for 20years, and yes, I still occasionally need to search for some of them.

A previous employer had a similar policy, and it was quoted as being for 'legal reasons', and was un-questionable.

It was worded to suggest that there was a legal requirement to delete old e-mail, which of course there's not.
What the 'legal reason' meant was "In order to protect ourselves from any potential future requirement to disclose potentially damaging e-mails, we're shredding everything as fast as we possibly can".