Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread (Read 442132 times)

quixoticgeek · « **Reply #3700 on:** 08 May, 2023, 09:04:32 am »

Stairs are dangerous. If we invented them today they'd never pass a health and safety risk assessment...

J

pumpkin · « **Reply #3701 on:** 08 May, 2023, 10:34:16 am »

Parked up. Bike set up to with a rack pack. Swung my right leg over, then a comedy fall in the road and it hurt. Elbow /hip. Sore today.

T42 · « **Reply #3702 on:** 08 May, 2023, 02:03:20 pm »

Lunchtime cooking: spread hot oil round the wok with a piece of kitchen paper folded in four, set it aside on plate, slapped in some ramen then water and put the lid on. Picked up kitchen paper and wiped my hands on it. Ouch.

rafletcher · « **Reply #3703 on:** 11 May, 2023, 07:49:36 am »

Work has installed a Lavazza bean-to-cup machine (we havea new - Italian - facilities manager). This morning I had a cup of Mocha. Hmm, that's a bit splashy. Oh, wait, what's this silver lever to the side? Ah, it raises a lowers the filling head so as to be not-splashy.

ian · « **Reply #3704 on:** 11 May, 2023, 07:32:41 pm »

Got a bit of egg yolk on my sweater. I know, a dab of washing machine detergent and a damp cloth, no biggie. And it wasn't, until the large plastic bottle of Ariel leapt out of slippy hands midway between sink and cupboard and fell to hit the tiled floor cracking completely open and bleeding thick blue goo everywhere. It's really difficult to clean up. It's like ectoplasm after a full-on exorcism.

House smells nice though and the yolk stain is gone.

quixoticgeek · « **Reply #3705 on:** 11 May, 2023, 10:44:18 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 06 May, 2023, 10:58:13 am

[Placeholder for barakta's lost phone]

Do we get the full story?

J

barakta · « **Reply #3706 on:** 11 May, 2023, 10:59:21 pm »

Quote from: quixoticgeek on 11 May, 2023, 10:44:18 pm

Quote from: Kim on 06 May, 2023, 10:58:13 am
[Placeholder for barakta's lost phone]

Do we get the full story?

J

I thought I'd lost my phone between car and tent... Couldn't find it. Signal dubious so wasn't ringing reliably.

I'd shoved it in my bra.

Various male people found this far more enticing and entertaining than it merited other than ObDivvery.

quixoticgeek · « **Reply #3707 on:** 11 May, 2023, 11:01:24 pm »

Quote from: barakta on 11 May, 2023, 10:59:21 pm

I thought I'd lost my phone between car and tent... Couldn't find it. Signal dubious so wasn't ringing reliably.

I'd shoved it in my bra.

Various male people found this far more enticing and entertaining than it merited other than ObDivvery.

Bras make an excellent place to store phones. Esp as most modern phones are too big for the pockets women are allowed to have on trousers...

J

barakta · « **Reply #3708 on:** 12 May, 2023, 01:54:02 pm »

Exactly... I knew you'd get it.

Annoyingly Kim has AlpKit jeans with great pockets which even fit me but the waist isn't high enough for me (and Kim is relieved I won't steal her clothes)...

quixoticgeek · « **Reply #3709 on:** 12 May, 2023, 02:06:59 pm »

Quote from: barakta on 12 May, 2023, 01:54:02 pm

Exactly... I knew you'd get it.

Annoyingly Kim has AlpKit jeans with great pockets which even fit me but the waist isn't high enough for me (and Kim is relieved I won't steal her clothes)...

I once crossed London with 3500 quid in unmarked consequential ten pound notes stuffed down my bra ...

If you sit in the restaurant on a ferry fixing punctures and pull the tools out of your bra, you get really strange looks. Can't think why...

J

Kim · « **Reply #3710 on:** 12 May, 2023, 07:48:17 pm »

Quote from: barakta on 12 May, 2023, 01:54:02 pm

Annoyingly Kim has AlpKit jeans with great pockets which even fit me but the waist isn't high enough for me (and Kim is relieved I won't steal her clothes)...

The waist's not high enough for me either, but a couple of years ago I was in dire need of trousers about three sizes smaller, they were easy to order online from a company I like and, well, have pockets.

Clare · « **Reply #3711 on:** 13 May, 2023, 01:03:34 pm »

Ah yes, left tit pocket and right tit pocket, useful places to store random shite and phones.

arabella · « **Reply #3712 on:** 13 May, 2023, 09:06:59 pm »

I think I should point out I've given up on "women's" trousers on account of lack of pockets.
"Men's" trousers fit me no worse and actually have pockets. Alas the pockets are often made out of the flimsiest of flimsy cloth and so need mending/reinforcing on a regular basis.

citoyen · « **Reply #3713 on:** 14 May, 2023, 09:05:47 am »

Hmm, wonder why my dough isn’t rising…

Oh, hang on, what’s this little silver sachet sitting in the counter unopened?

citoyen · « **Reply #3714 on:** 14 May, 2023, 03:49:43 pm »

Baking related divvery part two:

Made my wife a batch of her gluten-free buckwheat crackers - mixed the dough this morning, left it to rest in the fridge. When I came to roll it out just now, it seemed strangely tough, as well as being much darker than usual…

And this is when I realised I’d used spelt flour instead of buckwheat.

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #3715 on:** 15 May, 2023, 09:27:42 pm »

Bollocks

2023-05-15_09-26-07 by The Pingus, on Flickr

L CC · « **Reply #3716 on:** 16 May, 2023, 08:34:30 am »

Is Pingu OK? Still got both???

Ham · « **Reply #3717 on:** 16 May, 2023, 09:06:08 am »

SQUEEK

Non Temetis Messor

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #3718 on:** 16 May, 2023, 09:27:43 am »

Mrs P reported on Farcebok that she ate'nt dead

Jurek · « **Reply #3719 on:** 16 May, 2023, 09:43:47 am »

Quote from: Mrs Pingu on 15 May, 2023, 09:27:42 pm

Bollocks

2023-05-15_09-26-07 by The Pingus, on Flickr

Ouch!
Sorry to see that.

T42 · « **Reply #3720 on:** 16 May, 2023, 09:46:56 am »

Hope you didn't dull the edge.

Paul · « **Reply #3721 on:** 16 May, 2023, 10:29:01 am »

Quote from: Mrs Pingu on 15 May, 2023, 09:27:42 pm

Bollocks

2023-05-15_09-26-07 by The Pingus, on Flickr

Again, my colour-blindness meant that I couldn't see what had caused the exclamation. It was only the context (subsequent replies) that led me to conclude there is blood somewhere in this pic.

I'm hoping it's the little blob, and not the large stain!

Kim · « **Reply #3722 on:** 16 May, 2023, 12:00:38 pm »

^ This.

Reasonably sure the dried-on stuff is brown, which doesn't preclude it being blood. The dark liquid could be anything on the blood/poo/oil spectrum.

Beardy · « **Reply #3723 on:** 16 May, 2023, 12:30:19 pm »

I think the brown dried on crud on the blade is mud and the large damp patch under the blade I think is oil. The singular splat in front of the blade is red and I thus deduce that it is blood.

A honing accident?

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #3724 on:** 16 May, 2023, 05:15:50 pm »

Beardy is correct, except what is on the blade is the remains of some sort of coating I think. I honed it fine but then got too much oil on the blade and slipped when trying to smear it about a bit. Teach me not to wear gloves.