ACME Miscellany

[jiberjaber]

Things have changed a bit since my last Wednesday night outing.

The obvious differences are the very short haircuts sported by OD and the Quizmaster General.

The fact we are on Zoom rather than in a pub is also worthy of a mention.

Otherwise it's plus ca change really.  In these new realities it is comforting to see that OD is still as daft as something very daft - last night he was cooking hot dogs and onions on a Trangia to recreate the authentic experience of a Boss Hogg's kebab.  I bet a few short weeks ago none of us really expected to spend an evening transfixed by kebab cam, then again, none of us were.  The least he could have done was set himself on fire and mistake the meths bottle for a fire extinguisher.

I logged in to find Mr and Mrs Jiber, QG, the Hustler, Bernster, Toby's Dad, Juan Sebastian Elcano, Tomsk, Oaky and mein host Huggy staring at their cameras, waiting for somebody to say something, actually say anything really.  Normally at this point we would be unpacking our bikes and marvelling at my latest engineering feat/unexplained noise and handing over our hard earned to the BB.  On Zoom we wait for OD's usual mouth/brain interface malfunction to manifest itself and then we're off.  "Has anyone done anything exciting this week then ?" he eventually blurted.  You can imagine the rush of fascinating lockdown tales that followed - ranging from a trip to the shops to walking to the end of the street - hijinks indeed.  Those two minutes fairly flew by. 

Fortunately we were rescued by the arrival of our special guest - a goat in a pen.  According to QG, who had arranged the whole thing, having a captive animal appear during a Zoom call is all the rage in the wacky world of project management.  I can see why, who could fail to be won over by a goat trying to get to sleep while someone films it.  Then, suddenly, events took a dramatic turn - "we may have to cut this short" said the cryptic message on goat cam, "Lisa is kidding" then appeared.  Being slow on the uptake, I thought they meant the cutting short message was a hilarious prank but, no, Lisa really was kidding (the fact Lisa the goat was heavily pregnant should have been a sufficient clue).  QG has promised to follow up with the goat cam people.  Perhaps they will name it after one of us - Hustler the Kid has a bit of a ring.

Things took a definite upturn when we moved onto reminisces of WWII.  It is often surprising how few people actually undertook active duty at the front but there were a few to be remembered.  I really liked Tomsk's tale of Tomsk pere who was stationed in Egypt but not just racing around in tanks with Monty or drinking ice cold beer in Alexandria. The talented Tomsk senior was drawing maps in his makeshift studio in a tomb in the Valley of the Kings.  I wonder if they let him out sometimes to watch Huggy's dad and uncle refereeing army football matches.

The next exciting conversation starter was "what are you doing for VE Day".  Clearly only Tomsk knew it was VE Day on Friday and only Tomsk knew that Prosecco was the correct drink - I suppose it helps if you were there first time around.  That was another well spent two minutes.

QG to the rescue again, this time with one of his famous quizzes.  I am assuming that technical issues were responsible for it being two rounds rather than his usual 68 but the pictorial WWII themed questions on offer were challenging enough.  OD and Huggy tied for first place (it is self-marked).

As is so often the case, as soon as OD left the call the MEMWNS brains trust found an impenetrable technical issue to discuss - non-server based Kittykat telephony protocols finally tore Bernster away from the work he had been doing all night whilst pretending to listen.  All the Hustler and I could do while the jargon span across the ether was pretend to smoke large Cuban cigars with our pens - we like to look useful when it's all going above our heads.  We soon found ourselves muted like a pair of virtual Marcel Marceaux channelling Groucho Marx.   Redemption was shortly at hand for the Hustler in the shape of an equally fascinating debate on the Essex County boundary changes of 1965 and their effect on social identity.  I am afraid to report that I had completely lost the thread by the time the raging torrent of argument had reached the great Epping Forest divide of 1993.  We definitely need something to reopen where we can meet in person.

I've missed the field reports.... would be good to have a re-match between you and Doggers sometime!

[Oscar's dad]

Like Noah’s Dove returning with an olive branch, Teds first report since forever may signify the beginning of the end of lockdown.

Very lyrical!

[Oaky]

Like Noah’s Dove returning with an olive branch, Teds first report since forever may signify the beginning of the end of lockdown.

It was good that the tide was finally in ted's favour and he was no longer stranded on the island.

[Oscar's dad]

Hey ted, where's the write up for Wednesday evening

[Tomsk]

Where was the rest of ACME yesterday? Was it too windy or was my timing all wrong? I met OD on his 200km, at Abberton at 10:30 for coffee and flapjacks in the deserted car park [the one by the Wigborough Road dam, not the visitor centre one]. Not many cyclists out at all, but two twitchers with long lenses set up down the dam. One shower near Little Leighs - just the edge of something heavier; one visitation - a tiny piece of wire. Quite a brisk pace over all, despite the return into a strong headwind. 86 miles on the clock by the time I was home for a late lunchtime at 14:00.

I got offshore to West Mersea then followed the coast road back [inland a bit via Tolly Major] to Heybridge Basin, Maldon and homewards through Danbury. By chance I also met Mick Gray on the road near Gt Leighs and had a chat. I mentioned Stefan's non-audax Windmill Rides on 21st June and he's up for a similar long ride sometime. Thought of Hereward the Wake, reversed, dawn to dusk, next month maybe?

[Oscar's dad]

Where was the rest of ACME yesterday? Was it too windy or was my timing all wrong? I met OD on his 200km, at Abberton at 10:30 for coffee and flapjacks in the deserted car park [the one by the Wigborough Road dam, not the visitor centre one]. Not many cyclists out at all, but two twitchers with long lenses set up down the dam. One shower near Little Leighs - just the edge of something heavier; one visitation - a tiny piece of wire. Quite a brisk pace over all, despite the return into a strong headwind. 86 miles on the clock by the time I was home for a late lunchtime at 14:00.

I got offshore to West Mersea then followed the coast road back [inland a bit via Tolly Major] to Heybridge Basin, Maldon and homewards through Danbury. By chance I also met Mick Gray on the road near Gt Leighs and had a chat. I mentioned Stefan's non-audax Windmill Rides on 21st June and he's up for a similar long ride sometime. Thought of Hereward the Wake, reversed, dawn to dusk, next month maybe?

I don’t where everyone was either Tomsk!

I got to Bures and then routed back to Witham via Mount Bures and Coggeshall. 200k was always an aspirational objective, I only really wanted to see how far my legs, in their current unfit state, would carry me - the answer is 77 miles. The wind really picked up on my way home and it was proper hard work.

My back has been playing me up whilst riding recently but yesterday it was much better, mind you I spent more time than normal down on the drops so perhaps Fred’s Surly Woodchippers did their thing. I also had my phone plugged into my Igaro and got home with a full battery, it’s never really used the D1 so am chuffed it seems to work well.

It was fantastic to see you in person Tomsk, like many of us I’m missing human contact. Have you looked up the Syrian convent you mentioned?

[Tomsk]

I looked up the details of the monastery: apparently St John's Monastery is Eastern Orthodox, originally Russian - founded 1958 in Tolleshunt Knights, now under the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople.

As unlikely as the Tibetan Buddhist Temple in Eskdalemuir.

I'd earlier contacted Raymond about the ride out yesterday - he says he was out on the northern & eastern end of your route OD ...

[tedshred]

I was about a mile away from you when you were having your picnic but I forgot to route via the reservoir 

One of the Nuns at the Convent spends most of her time cycling an old bike around the roads round here.  She is a very frequent sight and seems to cover a decent mileage.

The buildings are down a one way road but worth a quick detour if you are passing (obviously closed to visitors at present).

[the straggler]

I had been aiming to ride down to Abberton, but the gusting wind broke my motivation to set off in the morning.

Just to get a ride in this w/e, I only managed a paltry 67km loop this afternoon down to Feering, and returned along the A12 cycle path heading through Wormingford and back home. My longest ride since the Horsepower 100km....

[Tomsk]

MEMWNS is back! And not Zoom-Virtual-Socially-Dismal but in the REAL WORLD of Witham's Huggy Towers. Andy C33, Oaky and Mr Partridge made 5. Having psyclist and jibers present in electro-miniature was an interesting hybrid experience - looking forward to them venturing out next week!

Most wonderful to meet up. And sampling Huggy the Brewmeister's efforts too. The milk stout and lemon balm ales I had were excellent.

First night ride for about 10 weeks too, a great treat.

[Oscar's dad]

Yes indeed Tomsk, our first tentative steps towards normality.

[Lightning Phil]

Social meet with Tomsk at local (to me) pub today. Take out hot pizza and draught beer enjoyed on village green. Nice to catch up in a civilised manner. 111km for me, so a good days riding as well. Tomsk was aiming for approx an imperial century.

[Tomsk]

  Cheers Lightning! Pint of good ale, plenty of people about, many on bikes, excellent! Just shy of 100 miles for me, but by the time I was heading in towards home mid-afternoon, the rain got a bit heavier and a cuppa and some toasted fruit-loaf was beckoning so I couldn't be bothered to loop an extra couple of miles in.

Reversing bits of 'Bricks and Moretaine' route heading towards Bigglewade I found a good sweeping panorama from near Langford [by the water tower next to the A1] - from there you can see a long way west to Ravensburgh Castle hill fort and where to the east the Chilterns stop being a classic downland escarpment, 'cos the ice-sheets over-rode them and duffed them up somewhat. We're short of decent long views in the east and that's a good'un.

[Andy W]

Hi ACME.
  I'm a Letchworth based rider and read your thread with interest. Great that you managed a pint of ale from the pub. The photos cheered me up. I've ridden most of Tomsks audax up to 400k. The view from Langford watertower is indeed quite spectacular. My interest was piqued because yesterday, I'd ridden over to the hills Tomsk mentioned. Met a mate in Henlow and rode specifically to Sundon (Beds) to ride up Sundon Hill. One arrow on OS map. It's steepest part is 15%. My "fast bike" has 50/34and 12/25 cassette. Last 50yards was tough, had to stand up. Another great view from North Herts is from a road between Reed and Barkway. Ely Cathedral and Kings College Cambridge are visible on a clear day. Hope I've not butted in on ACME thread and hope ro ride with you guys soon.

[Oscar's dad]

Welcome Andy W.  Please feel free to join the Mid-Essex Mid-Week Nocturnal Series shenanigans.  We've been virtual since the beginning of lockdown but are moving out into the real world again as restrictions ease.

[Bernster]

Another great view from North Herts is from a road between Reed and Barkway. Ely Cathedral and Kings College Cambridge are visible on a clear day.

Absolutely agree - it's a lovely bit of road! Welcome Andy W - maybe we could consider a West Essex/East Herts meetup when the main ACME group heads out East? Sounds like something right up Psyclist's street to coordinate 

[psyclist]

Another great view from North Herts is from a road between Reed and Barkway. Ely Cathedral and Kings College Cambridge are visible on a clear day.

Absolutely agree - it's a lovely bit of road! Welcome Andy W - maybe we could consider a West Essex/East Herts meetup when the main ACME group heads out East? Sounds like something right up Psyclist's street to coordinate 

Hmmm ... I could work out the epicentre for all the likely participants, and it already feels like it would be on the outskirts of Bishop's Stortford

[Andy W]

Thanks for the welcome guys. Most of my rides head east from Letchworth. Watering holes are Reed cafe, Saffron Walden, Thaxted, The Blue egg cafe, Wallys shed cafe. I head out east as its almost immediately into quiet rural lanes. 80%of the time I have to contend with a headwind home. Strangely I get on the drops, drop a cog or 3 and whirr away and enjoy.
I'm part of The Crown Crew. Epicentre is the Crown at Henlow. Most of the lads hail from Shefford. In winter, a hardcore of 4 of us manage a 32 miler in the dark, wet and cold.
Reward is a vestige of fitness to enable me to enjoy cow parsley verges and the opportunity to increase protein by gulping St Marks Flies. I've got a bivvy so am able to stay at the Compasses when the all clear sounds.

[Oscar's dad]

... I've got a bivvy so am able to stay at the Compasses when the all clear sounds.

The landlord of The Compasses is an amiable fellow, well known to us, and is not beyond allowing a bit of camping.  In case you didn't already know, The Compasses is our Spiritual Home.  Hopefully once other places of worship are allowed to open the Spiritual Home can hold services again.

[Tomsk]

Welcome Andy W 

That's reminded me of another reason I like Bedfordshire and North Herts: tailwinds home! After heading up into East Anglia, going west to the Chilterns is my favourite near-to-hand touring destination. I have long had plans to ride & bivi the Icknield Way and Ridgeway down to Avebury and won't put it off any longer, as soon as possible after lockdown eases sufficiently.

[psyclist]

MEMWNS, post lockdown event #2 at Chez Tomsk.

I arrived first, having ridden across on the fixed bike pulling a trailer ... I'd forgotten that I'd removed my rack as I'm not commuting at the moment, so when I came to put the pannier on the bike I had an 'oh no' moment. Plan B would have been a rucksack carrying my warm clothes for outdoor sitting, but that was incompatible with my rain jacket. So plan C it was, attaching my trailer and dumping the pannier into that.

First arrival ensured a chair under the parasol. Septimus Fitzwilliam Beauregard Partridge arrived next, and immediately set about blowing up his rear tyre. "Not a puncture" was proclaimed, just poor bike maintenance.

The evening was both light and rain free, so it was a shame not to see more attend, but it ensured some incredible tales could be told. My favourite was OD's recollection of a family cycling holiday in France, notable for adventures finding places to camp (who would of thought campsites become full along the coast of France in August!), and dispatching the family from a train one stop too early. Perhaps the poor sole couldn't read the station name in French!

There was also a reading from the 'Book of the Bivvy'. There are enough quotes in that book to last many weeks.

Tomsk again promoted the Windmill rides taking place in a socially distanced form from Chelmsford on 21st June. Be good to see a few familiar faces.

Huge thanks to Tomsk for accommodating us for the evening, providing dry seating, glasses and such like. Also for the guidance on the back route from his house back towards the big Tesco, which I didn't quite manage to follow to the letter.

[Oscar's dad]

It was a smashing night until...

5 miles from home, just coming into Fuller Street, in the pouring rain, I picked up a rear wheel puncture.  It shouldn't have been a problem had my Topeak Road Morph pump decided not to completely fail, so spousal support in the Team Car was called.  Its very frustrating as I pride myself on being able to self-rescue, mind you in the 16 years we've known each other last night was only the second time The Current Mrs R has had to drive to my aid.  A post mortem has revealed the pump is well and truly knackered so is being replaced and CO2 inflators have been ordered for each of my 3 bikes so I will no longer have a potential single point of failure.

Such a shame as an evening in Tomsk's garden with psyclist is very pleasant as was my ride home in moderately heavy rain, I even managed to take in part of the Flitch Way from Dunmow to Thaxsted which was a giggle in the dark and wetness.

Thanks to Tomsk and Bear Bait 

[psyclist]

my ride home in moderately heavy rain

You should have headed east, with only very light rain that didn't last long for me. At least the prior forecast proved true, with the heavy rain over towards Colchester, and more benign the further west you got.

[Oscar's dad]

my ride home in moderately heavy rain

You should have headed east, with only very light rain that didn't last long for me. At least the prior forecast proved true, with the heavy rain over towards Colchester, and more benign the further west you got.

I was heading east!

[Bernster]

5 miles from home, just coming into Fuller Street, in the pouring rain, I picked up a rear wheel puncture.  It shouldn't have been a problem had my Topeak Road Morph pump decided not to completely fail, so spousal support in the Team Car was called.  Its very frustrating as I pride myself on being able to self-rescue, mind you in the 16 years we've known each other last night was only the second time The Current Mrs R has had to drive to my aid.  A post mortem has revealed the pump is well and truly knackered so is being replaced and CO2 inflators have been ordered for each of my 3 bikes so I will no longer have a potential single point of failure.

I've had occasional issues with my Road Morphs, and find that taking them apart periodically, and giving them a good clean (and applying a little grease to the O ring) can get them working again. The only failures I've seen have been with the O ring itself, and replacements rings can be sourced from SJS Cycles fairly reasonably.

Sounds like a good night was had, and I look forward to being able to sneak out one Wednesday night to meet up with you guys (this would be considerably less cheeky than disappearing for 8 hours in the daytime to do a 200k, leaving wifey on her own to entertain daughter).