Turds on the line ...

[Polar Bear]

The Poo-dolino has been in service since July 2002.  We are currently sitting in Coach A on one heading north.

The rancid shit smell pervades the atmosphere.

Almost 22 years and they still have not fixed the shit express!

[Polar Bear]

And now we have a couple of freeloaders.

She is pregnant apparently so that's ok then ...

The female train manager was not swayed by this.  👍

Police will be at Crewe apparently to "help" them off the train.

[Polar Bear]

Our freeloading travelling companions departed without fuss.

The Train Manager has also ramped up the a/c to mitigate the poo smell.  She deserves recognition for her efficiency and attention to detail. 

[Kim]

Badly named thread.  It's clearly Turds on a Train (which is not Samuel L Jackson's finest work).

A quick google suggests that turds on the line ended in 2019, in order to protect railway workers.  Who obviously are never found *inside* trains.

[Wowbagger]

Wasn’t The Turds one of Hitchcock’s finest?

[Bluebottle]

Are you not confusing that with North by Northwest Mainline?

[Mr Larrington]

Except for Basingstoke?

[Polar Bear]

I was referring to the Poo-dolino being a turd on the line.  The shitty stinks in vestibules where there are loos 22 years after they first discovered the issue is really crap.

Perhaps I should have called them turdolinos...

[hellymedic]

I believe trains now have retention tanks.
Poodolinos are VERY rank if seated in the wheelchair bay, as there’s no escape.
I understand trackside tomato plants are an indicator turds on the line...

[Kim]

TBH, I've always found the 170s worse.  Possibly because as a cyclist you end up in the toilet door monitor jump-seat, with the growing puddle of wee from the men who don't bother to aim slowly encroaching on your cleats.

ETA: Crosspost with helly's point about the wheelchair bay.

[MikeFromLFE]

I believe trains now have retention tanks.
Poodolinos are VERY rank if seated in the wheelchair bay, as there’s no escape.
I understand trackside tomato plants are an indicator turds on the line...

It was a bit of a surprise to see the track whizzing by when using the facilities on a Hungarian train a couple of years ago
And then I couldn't help seeing the dissolving white paper between the tracks at the stations.

[robgul]

I believe trains now have retention tanks.
Poodolinos are VERY rank if seated in the wheelchair bay, as there’s no escape.
I understand trackside tomato plants are an indicator turds on the line...

It was a bit of a surprise to see the track whizzing by when using the facilities on a Hungarian train a couple of years ago
And then I couldn't help seeing the dissolving white paper between the tracks at the stations.

Ditto a French regional train a couple of years ago - just a hole in the pan, straight onto the tracks.  Nice.

Years ago (mid 1960s) at Euston Station they had a trough between the rails on a couple of platforms, the length of the train.  They for the sleeper coaches to flush into when passengers were on board departing or arriving - there was some sort cleaning mechanism to wash the trough when the sleeper train had departed.

[hellymedic]

Italian trains flushed straight onto the tracks when I was a PSO.
At about that time, I believe there were reports of some unanticipated full-term newborn baby landing unscathed on a railway line.

[Jaded]

On a school trip we discovered the French ones were fun if one of you dropped toilet rolls down a khaki, and the rest of you were at the train end, watching through the rear window.

I remember the Edinburgh to Inverness line, single track with doubled waiting places for trains to pass. At these places there were proper bangers and mash on the other track...

[Cudzoziemiec]

Italian trains flushed straight onto the tracks when I was a PSO.
At about that time, I believe there were reports of some unanticipated full-term newborn baby landing unscathed on a railway line.

Those baby stories get reported every couple of years in various places. Some of them might well be true. Sometimes the baby survives.

[hellymedic]

I Googled.
Seems there was a story from India in February 2015 and others...

[Wowbagger]

Small tangential factoid: Rudolf Nurayev was born on a train. I don’t know whether it was in the Kharzi or not.

[Rod Marton]

Many years ago, me and a friend cycled across Siberia. Cycled in the broadest sense, that is, because back then there wasn't a road all the way across and there was a significant section where we had to push our bikes along the Trans-Siberian. Which was as expected, and fine, except that we soon discovered that we had to walk along the bit where the toilets discharged.

Cue shouts of "Mind the crap".