Author Topic: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35  (Read 1827 times)

Gattopardo

  • Lord of the sith
  • Overseaing the building of the death star
Been wondering this, as I have tried to meet new people as I am alone in an EU and looking to meet native english speakers as my foreign language skills are poor and like to have a similar base of knowledge and jokes.

Tried a drink meet up, but they seem all to be young, and I stand out as being the eldest.  Also weird as why would someone my age turn up to a drinks meet.  There have been mutterings, by people that haven't even talked to me mentioning that some one my age would only go to hook up, the term predator may have been used but that is probably mis translation.  But people have spoken up and said that they are wrong.  Me being me, put fuel on that fire, by mentioning yeah I come here to hook up as there aren't apps like tinder, grinder, bumble and badoo.  Oh I forgot I'm too old to know about apps.

Cycling clubs out as only have a bromton and a shitty bike here.

Any ideas?
 

FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #1 on: 23 June, 2022, 07:56:27 pm »
Wad going to suggest cycling clubs, bugger...
Hikign, walking, sauna erm...

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Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #2 on: 23 June, 2022, 09:14:57 pm »
Think about what interests you and see if there any local groups.

Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #3 on: 23 June, 2022, 10:35:16 pm »
Other equivalents to cycling clubs - be it church groups, film buffs, real ale appreciation, war game figurine painting ...
Bound to be an in via message boards or the like (though France are about 20 years behind everyone else on this).  I reckon if you meet up a group of likewise niche obsessives age is less of an issue.
Strange things are afoot at the circle K.

Wowbagger

  • Sylph
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #4 on: 24 June, 2022, 10:47:21 pm »
I joined a cycle forum about 16 years ago. Never looked back... ;)
I want to surf the zeitgeist to where it’s all happening

Gattopardo

  • Lord of the sith
  • Overseaing the building of the death star
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #5 on: 25 June, 2022, 12:32:49 am »
Other equivalents to cycling clubs - be it church groups, film buffs, real ale appreciation, war game figurine painting ...
Bound to be an in via message boards or the like (though France are about 20 years behind everyone else on this).  I reckon if you meet up a group of likewise niche obsessives age is less of an issue.

Have met one reddit social group, and the ethnic diversity is different to what I am used to.  Basically no POC.  Which I didn't notice till sharing photos and it was pointed out to me.  Seems pointing that out to the group is wrong.

Gattopardo

  • Lord of the sith
  • Overseaing the building of the death star
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #6 on: 25 June, 2022, 12:33:36 am »
I joined a cycle forum about 16 years ago. Never looked back... ;)

And I am lucky to have met you.

Gattopardo

  • Lord of the sith
  • Overseaing the building of the death star
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #7 on: 25 June, 2022, 12:36:25 am »
Cycling/motorcycling groups are full of people considered weirdos and I fit in perfectly.  As proof lets cycle all night to get fish and chips or a full english breakfast on the coast.

FifeingEejit

  • Not Small
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #8 on: 25 June, 2022, 12:58:18 am »
TBF this place is pretty bloody diverse

Also what's POC

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Clare

  • Is in NZ
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #9 on: 25 June, 2022, 04:26:18 am »
POC = people of colour.

I think.

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #10 on: 25 June, 2022, 08:50:37 am »
POC = people of colour.

I think.
Albinos? - they're the most coloured of all, being almost white.
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

T42

  • Patron saint of the dry joint
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #11 on: 25 June, 2022, 09:42:26 am »
GP, you could try getting in touch with the local UK consulate, which is what we did when my MIL died and the Inlaw Paw wanted us to find an English-speaking minister for her funeral.  We ended up with a bloke who was chaplain to and English-speaking community in Strasbourg.

Beware of enclaves, though - they tend to adopt an attitude of superiority WRT their host country. The fellow we got was a patronizing git whose first comment on entering our house was  "my, you have gone native, haven't you?"  I was hard put not to show him the door.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #12 on: 25 June, 2022, 09:47:44 am »
POC = people of colour.

I think.
Albinos? - they're the most coloured of all, being almost white.

Er, no.

As a Ty- albino I have absolutely no pigment at all.

And please, why pick on albinos?  I get enough shit being compared in appearance to that sack of shit fascist in Downing Street.  Back off.

Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #13 on: 25 June, 2022, 10:57:55 am »
I think that was a comment upon the wavelengths of light included in white light.
Rust never sleeps

MikeFromLFE

  • Previously known as Millimole
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #14 on: 25 June, 2022, 06:11:18 pm »
I think that was a comment upon the wavelengths of light included in white light.
I think you're being generous, at least I hope so.
Too many angry people - breathe & relax.

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #15 on: 25 June, 2022, 06:37:11 pm »
I think that was a comment upon the wavelengths of light included in white light.

That was my interpretation too.

ian

  • why would any decent person have such thoughts?
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #16 on: 25 June, 2022, 08:52:20 pm »
FFS, It could hardly have been any clearer. That said, if I looked like Boris, I’d be sensitive. Trust me, I’m Toby Young’s stunt double. At least that’s why I think people keep trying to set fire to me.
Authoritarian Thought Leader, the Pol Pot of Powerpoint, the Stalin of Spreadsheets, the Putin of pandas

bhoot

  • MemSec (ex-Mrs RRtY)
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #17 on: 25 June, 2022, 09:10:04 pm »
Going back to the initial question, are you interested in local voluntary activity like nature conservation work, or even litter picking?  I am not sure how well it would work for finding English speakers, but in my experience this type of outdoor work can help you meet lots of people with a wide age range (unless it's weekday in which case it is nostly retirees.  Depending on the nature of the work you can can chat as you work if you get on, or maybe work more independently if you don't hit it off with your fellow volunteers. There might be a coffee or lunch break when more socialising can occur. You don't really need to have that much in common with others there, beyond a desire to do something useful and a willingness to put some effort it. However you may find that you do.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #18 on: 25 June, 2022, 10:57:27 pm »
I joined a cycle forum about 16 years ago. Never looked back... ;)

Are you over 35?
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #19 on: 26 June, 2022, 08:30:16 am »
I think that was a comment upon the wavelengths of light included in white light.
Of course it was - white reflects all colours equally, so is the most coloured; black has no colours at all.
I've never seen an albino (human being, that is) and don't know of any. Did know an albino dog once, friendly little soul.
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #20 on: 26 June, 2022, 10:53:33 am »
Of course it was - white reflects all colours equally, so is the most coloured;

Whatever clever point you’re making, it was a weird thing to say in the context of the discussion.

Quote
I've never seen an albino (human being, that is) and don't know of any.

See PB’s reply.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #21 on: 26 June, 2022, 11:00:33 am »

When I moved to .NL I got a lot of my social life via meetup.com. To the point I am now an organiser in 3 of the 4 main groups I frequent. They are all either LGBT groups, or Nerdy women groups. The later is how I met the players for my D&D game.

meetup.com is great, but you do need to find the right group. I did look at a couple of board game groups, but they were a sausage fest, so decided not to.

J
--
Beer, bikes, and backpacking
http://b.42q.eu/

barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #22 on: 26 June, 2022, 02:16:15 pm »
I think that was a comment upon the wavelengths of light included in white light.
Of course it was - white reflects all colours equally, so is the most coloured; black has no colours at all.
I've never seen an albino (human being, that is) and don't know of any. Did know an albino dog once, friendly little soul.

Honestly, I don't think this is a helpful way to talk about ethnicity, skin colour and indeed disability.

It is clear you are upsetting people affected (see PB's comment for a start) and I'm wincing at the casual commentary about colours vs skin colour, as at best it comes across as flippant, at worst it comes across as racist or claiming "colour blind". We don't have many known people of colour here, which may be in part because of thoughtlessness or outright racism.

As a white woman I don't claim to be the best at not being racist, but I would ask that other presumably white people don't joke around on this stuff (race, racism, skin colour etc), and if you're not white (e.g. you're a person of colour) be clear about that, cos it's not always obvious when all people can see is an icon and text on the screen.  Joking on this can come across as very hurtful which isn't excellent even if unintentionally unexcellent.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #23 on: 26 June, 2022, 07:23:49 pm »
Barakta, as always has her finger on the pulse!

I think many of us have absorbed matter which can offend others, sometimes without realising offence caused.

Yesterday's joke is today's insult, whether or not that's intended.

It is difficult to be aware of all sensitivities and well worth heeding those in the know, for whatever reason.

ian

  • why would any decent person have such thoughts?
Re: How do you meet people - make friends when you are older than 35
« Reply #24 on: 26 June, 2022, 09:39:59 pm »
I’m minded that some people should get over themselves and their infinite pompous self-righteousness.
Authoritarian Thought Leader, the Pol Pot of Powerpoint, the Stalin of Spreadsheets, the Putin of pandas