Well that was embarrassing... (thread)

[andyoxon]

Aarghh...  I thought it was a mini-ao knocking on our (part glazed) door having returned from guides...
A neighbour thought he was knocking on the door to see if I wanted a thermal image scan of the house on a borrowed imager...
I decided to mess around & not open the door - saying things like "not today thank-you" & "wipe your feet"...
Neighbour - said "eh?"
I wanted to crawl under the mat...      
I apologised and had an fascinating look at heat leaks and roof temperatures etc...

[Hot Flatus]

Did it detect your growroom?

[andyoxon]

   <must do something about that flickering street lamp>

Heat loss areas... Around front door and surrounding walls, open bathroom window, and skylights on 'vent', some double glazed window frames - other walls & roof not too bad.

[Basil]

Ooh, this is going to be a great thread, Andy.  Good one.

[Basil]

So today was the Llandysul carnival.  We currently have Mrs B's USAian SiL staying.  "Ooh", she said, "Does the parade" (which was about to pass our house) "throw candies to the crowd?"
"Er, no".
So, the floats and bands are now passing and there are chaps shaking and rattling buckets.  SiL gets exited at the rattling bucket and so bucket man comes over to us. SiL dips her hand into the bucket expecting sweets only to find money.  She and bucket man are horrified.
Our house will now always be known as the house where they tried to steal from the charity collection.

[Kim]

It's those little cultural differences...

(Great threadcromancy!)


ETA: I've just re-read that and noticed that it says 'candies' not 'candles'.  In my defence, the USAnian festival of pyromania is nearly upon us.

[chrisbainbridge]

I read candles as well and assumed it was a USAnian thing like child sacrifice.

[Andy64]

My wife had been in hospital for an op a few years ago, right before xmas. She pleaded with the consultant to be let out, he agreed on the condition that the only moving around was between the settee and bed.
On getting her home, I made her comfortable on the settee - coffee, biscuits, remote etc, and went up to take a shower.
Just as I'm all soaped up, I hear "ooh ooh" I'm out of the shower quicker than Usain Bolt, grab a towel and fly down the stairs 3 at a time
(At this point the layout of the house needs describing - front door leading to hallway, living/dining rooms to the left, stairs straight ahead, bathroom at the top as an extension)
As I get to the middle of the staircase, towel in hand, still soapy, I see her best friend who's let herself in shouting "Yoo hoo"
I will confidently challenge anyone to a backwards race up a staircase 😬

[ElyDave]

our first house had a downstairs bathroom (1939 farmworkers cottage) originally of the kitchen, but we moved that door to the livingroom instead making a bigger kitchen.  The bathroom door was diagonally opposite the door to the hall and stairs. 

One day, I went for a shower and for some reason had forgotten to take any fresh clothes in there to put on.  Only Mrs ED in the house I thought, I can make a dash for it, only to find Mrs ED talking to the neighbour though the back door, which gave him a great rear view as I headed fro the stairs.

[ian]

Not actually me (seriously for once) but some years ago, I was having a swim at the pool in Thornton Heath and another guy got out, as you do, and proceeded to the showers. There are showers pool-side and they're for rinsing. I guess he was on autopilot since he dropped his trunks mid-rinse and went for the full soaping. By the pool. I think he realised towards the end that he wasn't in the changing room shower.

[CAMRAMan]

On a drunken Ibiza holiday with a bunch of mates, we went on a beach party. Each boat over to the beach was a team for the games to be played. On the way over much wine was being dispensed from one of those vino spouty things and I wasn't holding back. Anyhoo, I nominated myself team captain and ran round the beach like a drunken, headless chicken. After a while, one of the more sober, sensible lads sitting out the fun was approached by another bloke who pointed out that I had followed through and this was very obvious in my white shorts!

To make things even worse, after I'd jumped into the sea to freshen up, I got stung by a jellyfish and bloody painful it was too. Not the best day of the break...

[rogerzilla]

Not so long ago, I got ahead of my daughters on a walk, hid around a corner and waited for their footsteps.  Then jumped out and shouted, "BOO!!!", like you do.

Well, it made an old lady with a dog jump.

[Pingu]

Ski lesson. Group had stopped downhill of me, Mrs Pingu bent over adjusting boots. I amble down and affectionately pat Mrs P's bottom. Only it wasn't Mrs P, it was someone else in the group