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Author Topic: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"  (Read 2618 times)

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
"Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« on: 30 June, 2009, 12:20:02 pm »
Pardon?

"Is that the man of the house?"

No.

"Oh." (probably didn't believe me)
"Is the lady of the house there?"

No.

"Oh, OK, never mind then, bye".

Cold callers eh!
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It is simpler than it looks.

Woofage

  • Tofu-eating Wokerati
  • Ain't no hooves on my bike.
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #1 on: 30 June, 2009, 12:22:13 pm »
Sorry, I'm a bit busy now. Tell you what, give me your home number and I'll call back this evening to discuss it? OK?

click, brrrrrrrrr
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Pen Pusher

disrail

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #2 on: 30 June, 2009, 12:22:56 pm »
Scottish or Indian accent??
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Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #3 on: 30 June, 2009, 12:28:03 pm »
Nope - English, generic.
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It is simpler than it looks.

numbnuts

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #4 on: 30 June, 2009, 12:28:16 pm »
I'll get my dad ....... and check back after 5 mintues to see if they are still there ;D
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disrail

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #5 on: 30 June, 2009, 12:31:23 pm »
Quote from: Jaded on 30 June, 2009, 12:28:03 pm
Nope - English, generic.


It's such an english term to use, that I was trying to imagine it in the common cold calling accents.


Whenever i pick up the phone and hear the click, I normally hang up. If it was anything really urgent, then I'm sure they'd call back. No point in wasting mine nor their time.
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ludwig

  • never eat a cyclists gloves
    • grown in wales
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #6 on: 30 June, 2009, 12:38:54 pm »
My favourites are " would you mind partaking in our survey. It only takes five minutes"
"Ok. go ahead"
Do you have any pets"?
"mm"
" do you own your own home?"
"mmmmm"
"What is your favourite passtime"
"Mastabation"
Click bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Stolen a bit from Chris Morris but fun anyway
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closetleftie

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #7 on: 30 June, 2009, 01:08:40 pm »
Quote from: ludwig on 30 June, 2009, 12:38:54 pm
My favourites are " would you mind partaking in our survey. It only takes five minutes"
"Ok. go ahead"
Do you have any pets"?
"mm"
" do you own your own home?"
"mmmmm"
"What is your favourite passtime"
"Mastabation"
Click bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Stolen a bit from Chris Morris but fun anyway

 ;D ;D
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Moloko

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #8 on: 30 June, 2009, 01:40:32 pm »
Quote from: disrail on 30 June, 2009, 12:22:56 pm
Scottish or Indian accent??

What they need is a gimmick to stop potential customers from hanging up.

If it was the voice of Joanna Lumley, then I'd be a bit more hesitant in slamming the receiver down.  ;D
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Quote from: Marbeaux
Have given this a great deal of thought and decided not to contribute to any further Threads for the time being.
POTD. (decade) :thumbsup:

Cunobelin

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #9 on: 30 June, 2009, 10:57:17 pm »
My wife spent 45 minutes talking to a caller about "plastic windows", they discussed offers, sising, whethere the windows opened or not...

Then when the guy tried to arrange an appointment my wife offerd to come down and visit them!

After a few seconds the guy started to ask how he could measure up our house if my wie was coming to see him..... She then explained that she was talking about her tent!

He was a little unhappy, but they didn't call us back.


Otherwise I find...

Can I have your company's details please, and then I would like to speak to your supervisor.... by phoning melike this you are in breach of section 42 of the Telecommunications act ... and that is normally as fa as I get before they hang up.
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giropaul

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #10 on: 01 July, 2009, 08:51:57 am »
Registering for the Telephone Preference Service (or whatever it's called) works for me. If anyone does get under the wire just saying something along the lines of "are you aware that this number is registered with the preference service" works a treat.
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Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #11 on: 01 July, 2009, 09:03:38 am »
We are on TPS, most of these calls are not traceable.
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It is simpler than it looks.

David Martin

  • Thats Dr Oi You thankyouverymuch
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #12 on: 01 July, 2009, 09:09:34 am »
Why does 'Master of the house' keep going through my head...

..d
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"By creating we think. By living we learn" - Patrick Geddes

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #13 on: 01 July, 2009, 09:12:33 am »
TPS is fine until I get automated calls from Bezeq in Israel...
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Moloko

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #14 on: 01 July, 2009, 11:13:56 am »
Quote from: David Martin on 01 July, 2009, 09:09:34 am
Why does 'Master of the house' keep going through my head...

..d

I keep getting: Robin, Chrissy and Jo.  ;D
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Quote from: Marbeaux
Have given this a great deal of thought and decided not to contribute to any further Threads for the time being.
POTD. (decade) :thumbsup:

toekneep

  • Its got my name on it.
    • Blog
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #15 on: 01 July, 2009, 11:19:54 am »
"Hello is that Mr. John Jackson?"

"No"

"Oh, is Mrs. Jackson there then?"

"No"

"Oh is that 01234 56789?"

"Yes because otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me."

"Ah, right. Well perhaps you might be able to help me then?"

"I very much doubt that"

Click brrrr.
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Jacomus

  • My favourite gender neutral pronoun is comrade
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #16 on: 01 July, 2009, 01:09:00 pm »
I solve this problem completely by not having a landline.
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"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." Amelia Earhart

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #17 on: 01 July, 2009, 01:12:38 pm »
Quote from: Woofage on 30 June, 2009, 12:22:13 pm
Sorry, I'm a bit busy now. Tell you what, give me your home number and I'll call back this evening to discuss it? OK?

click, brrrrrrrrr

You are Jerry Seinfeld AICMFP. ;)

I never remember to use that line in real life.

d.
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"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

onb

  • Between jobs at present
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #18 on: 01 July, 2009, 02:28:22 pm »
I quite often get my surname mispronounced so in response to "hello can I speak to Mr Sheepley"I reply sorry no one here of that name ,click brrrr
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.

rower40

  • Not my boat. Now sold.
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #19 on: 01 July, 2009, 03:01:16 pm »
Pretend to be your own butler.

Answer simply "Yes?"  (Longish drawn-out, slightly-rising inflection)

When the caller asks for "Is that Mr Bloggs?", reply "I will see if he is available, Sir. Is he expecting your call?  Who may I say is calling?"

Then leave the phone for a longish time, (possibly playing a tape of echoing footsteps down a long marbled hall), and return with:

"I'm sorry, Sir.  He is not to be disturbed at present.  May I suggest that you call 01xxx yyyyyy to book an appointment with his accountant/stockbroker/building services manager/dietician(*) to discuss the matter?"

(*delete as appropriate - or substitute similar professional consultant suitable for the particular caller.)
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alan

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #20 on: 01 July, 2009, 03:36:03 pm »
Quote from: toekneep on 01 July, 2009, 11:19:54 am
"Hello is that Mr. John Jackson?"


Coincidently I used to have a client of that name,now he is an ex-ICL employee.
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Bledlow

Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #21 on: 01 July, 2009, 07:11:23 pm »
Quote from: Jacomus-rides-Gen on 01 July, 2009, 01:09:00 pm
I solve this problem completely by not having a landline.
What? You've never had a junk call on your mobile? I've had far too many.
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"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #22 on: 01 July, 2009, 07:49:29 pm »
Quote from: Sgt Bikeo on 01 July, 2009, 11:13:56 am
Quote from: David Martin on 01 July, 2009, 09:09:34 am
Why does 'Master of the house' keep going through my head...

..d

I keep getting: Robin, Chrissy and Jo.  ;D

Are they like Rod, Jane and Freddy?
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Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: "Hello, is that the man of the house?"
« Reply #23 on: 01 July, 2009, 08:27:38 pm »
Is there anything remotely like Rod, Jane & Freddy?
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Getting there...
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