Useless drunken scrotes who decided to abscond with the little fence that separates the end of our driveway from next door's about 1 am this morning. Heard some odd noises as we were going to bed, put it down to foxes, but then realised that foxes don't usually talk. Looked out the window, and saw someone down there (it's pretty dark and our outside lights had turned off for the night).
They'd evaporated by the time I got outside, presumably into the park at the bottom. No point chasing them as I was in my jimjams and what am I going to do if I do catch them? Found the fence at the bottom of the hill in the middle of the road, all broken, not sure if it was them or someone managed to drive over it. But thanks anyway, now we have to pay a man to replace it. Not a big deal, just annoying senseless vandalism that seems to be endemic and, if anything, getting worse. Shall we call the police, says my wife, then we both laugh for a bit and go to bed.
This is why we can't have nice things.
