The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[orienteer]

And the divvery continues. I'm on a roll, folks!

Cycle in to Stornoway - only about 16km away but I'm going shopping at it isn't flat.

Rush to library. Lock up bike. Erm, hang on, my bike lock key isn't on this keyring. No problem, I always keep the spare key in my tool pouch.  Why won't key go in?

That's the Abus key. Not much chance of it working in a Kryptonite lock. You absolute arse.

So I did bare minimum essential jobs, that didn't mean leaving bike alone for long. People are pretty good around here, but it is school chucking out time and teenagers are teenagers everywhere.

Could have been worse - an auto-locking lock.

How many buses a week to your place?

[mrcharly-YHT]

And the divvery continues. I'm on a roll, folks!

Cycle in to Stornoway - only about 16km away but I'm going shopping at it isn't flat.

Rush to library. Lock up bike. Erm, hang on, my bike lock key isn't on this keyring. No problem, I always keep the spare key in my tool pouch.  Why won't key go in?

That's the Abus key. Not much chance of it working in a Kryptonite lock. You absolute arse.

So I did bare minimum essential jobs, that didn't mean leaving bike alone for long. People are pretty good around here, but it is school chucking out time and teenagers are teenagers everywhere.

Could have been worse - an auto-locking lock.

How many buses a week to your place?

About one bus per hour - apart from first thing in morning and evening, when it is every 30 min. Honestly, the outer hebrides has a better bus service than most cities.

MrsPingu I was a bit worried about knock on head - it hit me hard enough that my head was hurting (headache type) for a while. Well still is.  I've had major concussion before so that worried me at the time.  Might have made me a bit cloudy of thinking for a while.

[Mrs Pingu]

 
I hope you told mscharly that you got twatted on the head then, so she can keep an eye out. If you haven't already please do so. (From she whose OH didn't tell me he'd been knocked unconscious until it was too late to come home from another country...) Hope your branes are unharmed.

[Kim]

Could have been worse - an auto-locking lock.

That's how I thought the story was going to end, too.

[mrcharly-YHT]

I hope you told mscharly that you got twatted on the head then, so she can keep an eye out. If you haven't already please do so. (From she whose OH didn't tell me he'd been knocked unconscious until it was too late to come home from another country...) Hope your branes are unharmed.

lol she is 600miles away and there ain't no way I'm telling her! 

The scrapes and cuts should have healed before she gets back in 2 weeks.

[Tim Hall]

Could have been worse - an auto-locking lock.

That's how I thought the story was going to end, too.

The Jurek variation.

[Mr Larrington]

I thought the Jurek Variation had a sqrl in it

[Kim]

I thought the Jurek Variation had a sqrl in it

What do you think ran off with the keys?

[Jurek]

All this unabated piss taking while I'm asleep.
You lot really know how to take advantage .

[T42]

Plastic lenses next time? Hope the pooch is ok.

Or just get into the habit of keeping them on a high shelf!

(I've managed to learn not to put my slippers down anywhere he can reach them.)

There's no such thing as can't reach:



That chair started off on the far side of the kitchen.

[Polar Bear]

Plastic lenses next time? Hope the pooch is ok.

Or just get into the habit of keeping them on a high shelf!

(I've managed to learn not to put my slippers down anywhere he can reach them.)

Dog trains man ...  😀

[Mrs Pingu]

T42: haha OMG!

[Jurek]

I once lived with someone and we had three cats.
Between the tops of the kitchen cupboards and the ceiling there was a gap of four inches or so.
It was a handy place to store  white porcelain used-only-once-in-a-blue-moon casserole dish.
After many years of non-use the dish was pressed into service.
When we took it down from the cupboard, what we found inside it in the dust were tiny, tiny cat footprints.
God knows how they got up there.

[citoyen]

There's no such thing as can't reach

Oh god… I shouldn’t laugh.

[woollypigs]

Friends installed cameras to find out what their mutts were doing and how they managed to get up and open things. So that they could install or move the correct things the first time around.

This is what the camera picked up https://www.instagram.com/p/B2buoFIhSff/

[T42]

There's no such thing as can't reach

Oh god… I shouldn’t laugh.

Oh, laugh away: we still do, in fact we burst out laughing when we found him up there.  You'll notice, BTW, that the lower cupboards and the drawers have lost their knobs.

[Pingu]

Plastic lenses next time? Hope the pooch is ok.

Or just get into the habit of keeping them on a high shelf!

(I've managed to learn not to put my slippers down anywhere he can reach them.)

There's no such thing as can't reach:



That chair started off on the far side of the kitchen.

A big dog did it and ran away.

[Mr Larrington]

“Gosh and, moreover, crikey!” exclaimed Mr Larrington at oh-dark-thirty this morning.  “Although the time on my fondleslab says it is almost two ack-emma it certainly does not feel that way!”  Realisation rapidly dawned when the timer switch turned the Great Hall light off a couple of minutes later.

Edit: “Half past five already!” exclaimed Mr Larrington.  “Where did the afternoon go?  Oh.  The PC says it’s half four.  Perhaps I should adjust the time on the clock/thermometer gadget!”

[nuttycyclist]

Mrs Nutty wants to employ decorators for upstairs.  Mr Nutty hates tradespeople doing substandard work as I can do it better.

Bathroom ceiling needed repainting, and family were away, so I started.  Plastic sheets taped over all walls and floor to protect them.  Loose paint scraped away.  Bare plaster primed.  Job ready to go.

The new paint went on lovely, but softened the old paint that started to peel and coat the roller  .    Much swearing later the new bare patches were primed and job done ready for overnight drinkypoos and drying.

In the morning all looked good and ready for second coat.  The new paint went on lovely, but softened the old paint that started to peel and coat the roller     Much swearing later the new bare patches were primed and job done.  Plastic removed, room cleaned, await arrival of family.

In hindsight I should have stripped the whole ceiling before starting, but I was too far down the tin of paint when I realised and I didn't want to buy another tin (and the shops weren't open).


Why am I a div?

(click to show/hide)

I told Mrs Nutty that it's the last time we get tradespeople in as the bathroom fitters hadn't painted it properly in the first place.  Her response was "to save money they left it as plaster and I painted it myself. 

[robgul]

Yesterday was domestic fettling to install a new CH radiator  (q.v. Rant thread re draining system)

All went more or less to plan although draining was slow and tricky - all fitted back together, bleed rads, boiler pressure, warmth etc - all tickety boo until I saw the unused can of CH inhibitor on the bench 

At least I could just drain down a couple of buckets of water to get the inhibitor in through the top of a towel rail and set it all up again.    The annoying thing is that I had a checklist to tick off each task . . .  I guess I got over-excited having finished all the pipework.

[grams]

Took a malfunctioning laptop power supply apart that bad just been plugged in and immediately put my finger on the 400 volt, 100 microfarad input capacitor. Ouch. Two proper little burns right on my finger tip. Despite having watched countless YouTube videos where they warn you about this.

Even after that, putting a (disposable) knife blade across made proper big sparks and burnt the metal multiple times.

It’s a third party one, so no bleed resistor.

[Mrs Pingu]

I loaded up the washing machine this morning. I can't remember if I made a conscious decision not to put it on or if I forgot. Got home from work and saw the door was open so I put washing powder in and set it off. 10 mins later Pingu says 'I already did the washing'.
I attempted to remedy by stopping and putting it onto rinse program, but that just left white powder spots. Another wash later then...

[Beardy]

I loaded up the washing machine this morning. I can't remember if I made a conscious decision not to put it on or if I forgot. Got home from work and saw the door was open so I put washing powder in and set it off. 10 mins later Pingu says 'I already did the washing'.
I attempted to remedy by stopping and putting it onto rinse program, but that just left white powder spots. Another wash later then...

And the moral of this story is washing machines should never be meddled with by the secondary member of the household.   

[barakta]

This is why Kim is the laundry fairy and I make applications to the laundry fairy as needed.

[quixoticgeek]

I loaded up the washing machine this morning. I can't remember if I made a conscious decision not to put it on or if I forgot. Got home from work and saw the door was open so I put washing powder in and set it off. 10 mins later Pingu says 'I already did the washing'.
I attempted to remedy by stopping and putting it onto rinse program, but that just left white powder spots. Another wash later then...

I am confused as to why someone would open the door on a washing machine that has finished it's run, but then not be immediately hung out to dry.

If you leave the door closed, it's a sealed unit, and will remain clean smelling and fine, for upto 24 hours (never left it longer).

If you open the door, it will start to partially dry, but more importantly it will start to smell of damp.

For me I operate the basic system:

- Door open, washing not yet run.
- Door closed, washing is clean, but needs hanging out.

J