The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[TheLurker]

And I suspect the Millenials think that our generation are all safe and staid.  If only they knew.....

I was reminded yesterday that one of the main roads near me - a straight stretch of a few miles length - used to have what was known back in the day as a "chicken lane", ie a central third lane on a single carriageway, used for overtaking... in both directions.

What I want to know is, what fucking idiot ever imagined that could possibly be a good idea?

Oh yes.  I remember them.  The A8 by Broxburn especially, but 50 years ago there were rather fewer cars on the roads than there are now and lorries were also very, very much slower* than, most, cars so it sort of worked. These days?  File under "Stark, staring bonkers".


*I still find it slightly odd to be overtaken on the motorway by (usually) a Polish or other eastern european juggernaut tanking along at 70+. 

[orraloon]

The Dorchester (Oxfordshire one) bypass was set out as one of those 3 lane monsters.  Except it is all curved so there is no place bar perhaps the extreme Eastern end where one could see if it was clear ahead to overtake.  I hated that road.  So many close calls which I saw, and so many fatalities.  Gone to std 2 lane now but there are still txssers around...

[Feanor]

Are these 3-lane things not usually line-marked so that they are an overtaking lane for only one side at a time?

Like marked with double solid lines which alternate from side to side, to the overtaking lane 'belongs' to one side or the other?

[SteveC]

They are now. They used not to be. Three lanes, same markings between each. They had a bad reputation in the '70s so no idea why it took so long for them to be repainted.

[Basil]

Good news: I have finally found the missing edge piece of the jigsaw puzzle.

In Fecking Div news:  It was never bloody missing.  The edge just needed joining together. 

[ElyDave]

last summer we went en-famille to Go Ape at Thetford forest. I rode over as there were insufficient seats in the car, and wore my light weight long fingered gloves, to give me a bit of prtection from the ropes and cables. Since then, for the life of me I've not been able to find those gloves. 

I went for a run this evening, off road, requiring trail shoes, which I last wore when I went to Go Ape 

Now I know where those gloves have been since August

[Cudzoziemiec]

I like this one
https://goo.gl/maps/AdQRaA2UZ54nGsx88
Because when I'm plodding up there at 0.5mph towards the end of a long day, almost all the overtaking traffic uses the middle lane to pass me. It's never busy, despite being an A road (but I've never used it at eg 9a.m. on a Monday).

[rogerzilla]

I gave up on today's turbo session after 20 minutes.  Heart rate on 90% although I was only in 39 x 17.

When I finished, I found the resistance lever had been knocked from 2 to 6 

[mrcharly-YHT]

Went paddling on Sunday with my dear wife. She in a plastic tub, me in my racing kayak. So I did an impression of a collie dog, hurtling up and down - and turning a lot. It was windy. I capsized a couple of times. That's ok, it is good practice. Phone and car keys with me. That's ok, they are in a dry bag.

Dry bag top wasn't rolled down much. That's ok, the phone is a waterproof model.

Except that it is over 2 years old, and if it ever was truly IP68, it bloody well isn't anymore. Dead phone (well, digitizer stuffed, charging stuffed, audio jack stuffed).

Bloody div.

New phone ordered, plus additional dry pouches for new phone.

[Tim Hall]

Went paddling on Sunday with my dear wife. She in a plastic tub, me in my racing kayak. So I did an impression of a collie dog, hurtling up and down - and turning a lot. It was windy. I capsized a couple of times. That's ok, it is good practice. Phone and car keys with me. That's ok, they are in a dry bag.

Dry bag top wasn't rolled down much. That's ok, the phone is a waterproof model.

Except that it is over 2 years old, and if it ever was truly IP68, it bloody well isn't anymore. Dead phone (well, digitizer stuffed, charging stuffed, audio jack stuffed).

Bloody div.

New phone ordered, plus additional dry pouches for new phone.

In normal times you could put it in a jar of rice and hope.  However, these days getting hold of rice is a bit of a challenge.

[PaulF]

Went paddling on Sunday with my dear wife. She in a plastic tub, me in my racing kayak. So I did an impression of a collie dog, hurtling up and down - and turning a lot. It was windy. I capsized a couple of times. That's ok, it is good practice. Phone and car keys with me. That's ok, they are in a dry bag.

Dry bag top wasn't rolled down much. That's ok, the phone is a waterproof model.

Except that it is over 2 years old, and if it ever was truly IP68, it bloody well isn't anymore. Dead phone (well, digitizer stuffed, charging stuffed, audio jack stuffed).

Bloody div.

New phone ordered, plus additional dry pouches for new phone.

In normal times you could put it in a jar of rice and hope.  However, these days getting hold of rice is a bit of a challenge.

I think a jar of rice is worth more than the most expensive phone anyway!

[mrcharly-YHT]

Went paddling on Sunday with my dear wife. She in a plastic tub, me in my racing kayak. So I did an impression of a collie dog, hurtling up and down - and turning a lot. It was windy. I capsized a couple of times. That's ok, it is good practice. Phone and car keys with me. That's ok, they are in a dry bag.

Dry bag top wasn't rolled down much. That's ok, the phone is a waterproof model.

Except that it is over 2 years old, and if it ever was truly IP68, it bloody well isn't anymore. Dead phone (well, digitizer stuffed, charging stuffed, audio jack stuffed).

Bloody div.

New phone ordered, plus additional dry pouches for new phone.

In normal times you could put it in a jar of rice and hope.  However, these days getting hold of rice is a bit of a challenge.

The rice thing is actually a really bad idea. Rice has a load of fine starch - that will end up stuck to contacts etc in the phone.

Putting it on a radiator (or other heat source) to drive out moisture is the best thing to do.

I've done that. Still stuffed.

[rogerzilla]

They are now. They used not to be. Three lanes, same markings between each. They had a bad reputation in the '70s so no idea why it took so long for them to be repainted.

Most of the A4 in Wiltshire used to be like that.  People are too stupid to use such roads.  There are still 3-lane roads where the single lane has a broken/solid line, and these are the same to all intents and purposes.

[orienteer]

They are now. They used not to be. Three lanes, same markings between each. They had a bad reputation in the '70s so no idea why it took so long for them to be repainted.

Most of the A4 in Wiltshire used to be like that.  People are too stupid to use such roads.  There are still 3-lane roads where the single lane has a broken/solid line, and these are the same to all intents and purposes.

The anomaly of that broken/solid line on the single lane is that theoretically oncoming traffic can enter it 

[ElyDave]

accidentally knocked over the jar of smelly oil with sticks in it this lunchtime, changed shirt adn jumper, washed hands twice and I still stink of it 

[Cudzoziemiec]

They are now. They used not to be. Three lanes, same markings between each. They had a bad reputation in the '70s so no idea why it took so long for them to be repainted.

Most of the A4 in Wiltshire used to be like that.  People are too stupid to use such roads.  There are still 3-lane roads where the single lane has a broken/solid line, and these are the same to all intents and purposes.

The anomaly of that broken/solid line on the single lane is that theoretically oncoming traffic can enter it 

But it does at least imply that the lane is primarily for traffic in one direction with the other direction able to use it only for overtaking; as in the example I posted upthread, where it's clearly for uphill traffic with downhill traffic having to give way to them.

[ElyDave]

accidentally knocked over the jar of smelly oil with sticks in it this lunchtime, changed shirt adn jumper, washed hands twice and I still stink of it 

Mrs ED commented on how it fragranced the whole of the washing

[PaulF]

Decided to let the turbo bike out of its cage today so fitted the wheel with a proper tyre on it rather than a turbo tyre and set off.

Did I mention that I’ve moved house since I last used that bike outside?

Or rather than living at the bottom of a steep hill I now live at the top of one?

Or that the as the turbo wheel rim is wider than the road one to fit/remove it I had to disengage the rear brake?

I expect that you can guess the rest...

[hatler]

Oooooo ......

[PaulF]

Fortunately I managed to stop before Newtonian physics took over.

[rafletcher]

accidentally knocked over the jar of smelly oil with sticks in it this lunchtime, changed shirt adn jumper, washed hands twice and I still stink of it 

Mrs ED commented on how it fragranced the whole of the washing

Ah yes. I recall when we had some Forties MOL pumps in for repair (Delta IIRC, with sand scouring of the internals). I was very careful, absolutely certain I'd not touched any of it, however I was wrong. It haunted me for days!

[rafletcher]

A belated one, but I'm reminded every morning.  I have a DAB bedside radio/alarm. It can have up to three alarms set, but I only use one at a time.  I''d been religiously turning it off after it sounded on a Friday morning, and back on again Sunday.

It has a setting for "weekdays only".   

[citoyen]

Bought a replacement for the broken glass cover for the back camera on my iPhone 6S. Just tried to fit it and after much frustrating impersonating of an ugly sister trying to squeeze her foot into a glass slipper, gave it up as a bad job.

Went to ebay to leave feedback registering my dissatisfaction at being sold a duff...

That's when I noticed that I'd ordered the part for the 6S Plus, not the standard 6S. They look superficially the same, but the 6S part has a larger diameter (by probably less than 0.5mm, but enough to ensure it won't fit).

Oh well, at least it's only a couple of quid wasted. Correct part now ordered.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Decided to let the turbo bike out of its cage today so fitted the wheel with a proper tyre on it rather than a turbo tyre and set off.

Did I mention that I’ve moved house since I last used that bike outside?

Or rather than living at the bottom of a steep hill I now live at the top of one?

Or that the as the turbo wheel rim is wider than the road one to fit/remove it I had to disengage the rear brake?

I expect that you can guess the rest...

Somewhere in this thread is my account of something similar. Except I'd forgotten that I'd disconnected front and rear brakes...

[fuzzy]

That is why, despite (or because of) years of cycling experience, you should always safety check your bike before riding.