Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces  (Read 374822 times)

rogerzilla

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1325 on: 01 December, 2016, 05:43:20 pm »
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Mr Larrington

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1326 on: 01 December, 2016, 07:35:45 pm »
Immigrants are going to steal Christmas

I can't decide whether that site is another Southend News Network or whether it's just been infiltrated by the readers of Angry People In Local Newspapers.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1327 on: 01 December, 2016, 07:38:24 pm »
Quote
Bentley with a tow bar Class

 ;D

They have moved on, to Southampton.

<beat>

Thus raising the tone of both cities.  :demon:
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

mattc

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1328 on: 01 December, 2016, 07:49:06 pm »
Immigrants are going to steal Christmas

I can't decide whether that site is another Southend News Network or whether it's just been infiltrated by the readers of Angry People In Local Newspapers.
I *THINK* the stories are genuine, and no dafter than many local papers.

But it looks a fabulous place to work - any headline gets thru, no matter how ludicrous/misleading:
Your individual Chicken McNuggets have names, McDonald's reveals
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1329 on: 01 December, 2016, 08:30:55 pm »
I regret to inform you that the Plymouth Herald is a real newspaper. 

I don't know if it still has a full-page Trago Mills piece every Thursday...that was something to see, combining UKIP-esque ranting against immigrants, local councillors and The Authorities generally, while pimping cheap garden furniture.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1330 on: 02 December, 2016, 08:37:10 am »
Ah, Trago - where peacocks roam the ground and there's a grotesque statue of an Atlas-like figure groaning under the weight of EU regulation (I'm not making this up...)

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

ian

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1332 on: 04 December, 2016, 11:24:53 am »
It's really true. They don't have doors in the provinces.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1333 on: 04 December, 2016, 12:51:18 pm »
Seal pup loses way in Liverpool

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-38173160

"An RSPCA spokesperson said animal welfare officers believed the seal may have come from the Mersey."

Given the nearest zoo is about 15 miles away and the icerink is right by the river that's a pretty logical guess
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams

Mr Larrington

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1334 on: 04 December, 2016, 01:00:58 pm »
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1335 on: 04 December, 2016, 02:12:48 pm »
Child loses garment at primary school.


Not just any garment, M&S shorts...

Kim

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1336 on: 04 December, 2016, 02:36:11 pm »
Stubborn pigeon brings traffic to halt as it REFUSES to move

Drivers on the Pershore Road give flying rat more consideration than the average cyclist.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1337 on: 04 December, 2016, 05:19:14 pm »
Ah, Trago - where peacocks roam the ground and there's a grotesque statue of an Atlas-like figure groaning under the weight of EU regulation (I'm not making this up...)

On principle I have never been there.  Strangely enough the UKIP rants have recently disappeared from the local ads. T

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1338 on: 04 December, 2016, 06:55:08 pm »
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams

Andrij

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1339 on: 04 December, 2016, 07:25:36 pm »
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.

The lift was out of order?
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

Kim

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1340 on: 05 December, 2016, 07:18:12 pm »

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1341 on: 07 December, 2016, 12:02:29 pm »
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.

The lift was out of order?
:thumbsup: Or maybe it was looking for someone to complain to about the buttons in the lift being too high.
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1342 on: 08 December, 2016, 10:35:37 am »
Blimey an article that is actually interesting and informative in the York Press, they are letting standards slip!

The history of York Ham

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/features/features/14947278.Charting_the_history_of_the_York_Ham/

I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.


Wowbagger

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1344 on: 11 December, 2016, 12:58:40 pm »
Quote from: Chief Reporter
In a Southend News Network exclusive, a group of 90’s construction workers have revealed the horrific conditions that were subjected to on a regular basis – they hope that the same mistakes won’t be repeated on building sites in the future.

Stuart Lamming has been elected as the unofficial spokesperson for the group, and he met our Chief Reporter to describe the ‘sheer hell’ that him and his colleagues were subjected to.

He said: ‘Our boss didn’t care whether we lived or died. Many of my friends were blown up, crushed, or were simply encouraged to walk off a cliff and plummet to a horrific death. I can still hear them all scream ‘oh no!’

‘I remember one site where they tried to cover up this terrible existence by playing motivational music for us. In my opinion, The Can Can on a constant 8-bit loop actually did a lot more harm than good.’

‘I finally decided that enough was enough when I walked into a wall and hundreds of other workers just followed me. I was behind a pick axe operator who couldn’t work fast enough and the sheer pressure from the advancing crowd made me pass out.’

‘My brother was lucky enough to get scouted into Sensible Soccer from an early age, and he even managed to win the Champions League with Southend United on 46 separate occasions – my destiny was horrendous in comparison.’

We managed to speak to one construction site manager who was involved in these conditions, and he agreed to speak to our news team if we kept his identity anonymous.

He said: ‘In my defence, we were under huge pressure from the company owner. For every project, our only target was to ensure that a certain percentage of workers returned alive. If we kept within these limits, the upper management were happy.’

‘This sort of carry on would never happen these days with all of the paperwork involved. It was a simpler and happier time.’

(click to show/hide)
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1345 on: 12 December, 2016, 05:47:25 pm »
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14961755.Workers_evacuated_after_toilet_fire/

Three fire engines and an "aerial appliance" needed to put out a flaming toilet in Swindon.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1346 on: 12 December, 2016, 09:29:50 pm »
http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html

Pigeons now defecating from telegraph pole onto footpath in Frome instead of from railway bridge

It's a tough life in Frome. People can't even pronounce the name of the town properly.
"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."

Kim

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Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1347 on: 12 December, 2016, 10:02:54 pm »
I quite liked this one, which was linked from the above:  http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/red-audi-photographed-parked-across-pedestrian-walkway-in-frome/story-29969115-detail/story.html

The idea that such a thing would be news is about as provincial as it gets.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1348 on: 13 December, 2016, 09:01:01 am »
http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html

Pigeons now defecating from telegraph pole onto footpath in Frome instead of from railway bridge

It's a tough life in Frome. People can't even pronounce the name of the town properly.
/Oxford joke

The pigeons fly upside down over Swindon because there's nothing there worth shitting on.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Guy

  • Retired
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1349 on: 13 December, 2016, 01:14:32 pm »
Quote
Sheep gets head stuck in traffic cone on Hertfordshire farm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-38264883
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius