Author Topic: First-World Problems. (Read 337051 times)

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #1300 on:** 22 July, 2016, 09:59:16 am »

Your should look for a dog walker instead.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1301 on:** 22 July, 2016, 10:09:18 am »

I'd recommend the groundsman from Fort Larrington but he's at the wrong end of Surrey and has been having trouble recently with both his van and his minions.

Andrij · « **Reply #1302 on:** 22 July, 2016, 10:14:25 am »

I was going to suggest goats, but they'd only end up as yeti/bear food.

ian · « **Reply #1303 on:** 22 July, 2016, 10:33:29 am »

Quote from: Andrij on 22 July, 2016, 10:14:25 am

I was going to suggest goats, but they'd only end up as yeti/bear food.

I could borrow one from Riddlesdown, I suppose, though I'd imagine getting one down the A22 on the back of my bike might be a struggle.

Though not entirely odd for Croydon, I saw a guy walking a goat on a lead the other weekend.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1304 on:** 22 July, 2016, 10:37:22 am »

Quote from: Befuddled of teh Internets

The Yeti does not have much problem in obtaining food since it is rather strong and fast. It is primarily carnivorous, but will consume plants if necessary. In a dire situation, it is not very picky about its meal. For a meat course, the Yeti will typically feed on non-predator animals, such as the Argali sheep, the Bharal, the Markhor, which are both either in sheep or goat families. If meat is scarce, the Yeti will usually turn to any bamboo that's around, but little else due to lack of availability. The Yeti has no predators and is at the top of its food chain.

Which begs the question: are yetis known to be keen on puddings?

Befuddled also claims that:

Quote

The average annual temperature for the Himalayan mountains is 47 degrees Fahrenheit. Although this may not sound too cold, the temperature in this mountain range is constantly changing according to the elevation. The lower the elevation, the lower the temperature will be. This constant variation of temperature is something the Yeti has evolved to with its thick fur coat.

(My bold)

I think I'm right in my belief that Befuddled knows little of:

Mountains, and
Yetis, and
SCIENCE

Kim · « **Reply #1305 on:** 22 July, 2016, 01:11:37 pm »

Quote from: ian on 22 July, 2016, 09:23:25 am

I can't find a new gardener. Seriously, I've written to five companies and they say they're too busy.

Or possibly my garden has a rep. I've not seen a yeti for days and the bears are OK if you don't make eye contact and slowly back away. There may be ancient ruins in there somewhere.

What's it like for pokemon? You might be able to recruit some pasty geeks...

Dibdib · « **Reply #1306 on:** 22 July, 2016, 03:03:54 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 22 July, 2016, 01:11:37 pm

pasty geeks...

Beef, onion, potato, swede. No deviation!

(igmc)

ian · « **Reply #1307 on:** 22 July, 2016, 03:56:58 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 22 July, 2016, 01:11:37 pm

Quote from: ian on 22 July, 2016, 09:23:25 am
I can't find a new gardener. Seriously, I've written to five companies and they say they're too busy.

Or possibly my garden has a rep. I've not seen a yeti for days and the bears are OK if you don't make eye contact and slowly back away. There may be ancient ruins in there somewhere.

What's it like for pokemon? You might be able to recruit some pasty geeks...

There's an entire ecosystem up there. The yeti are some kind of subspecies to the Himalayan variety and appear to live mainly on crisps and other snacks, and evidently any stray gardeners. There could be a pokémon or two hatching behind the pampas grass.

We did have gardeners last year. They came and did two days work and we never saw them again. I did find a pair of ear-defenders, but that's it.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #1308 on:** 23 July, 2016, 06:36:52 pm »

It is so difficult to find suitably-sized pieces of paper for shopping lists towards the end of the month, when the counterfoils from the winning premium bond cheques have run out.

Ruthie · « **Reply #1309 on:** 05 August, 2016, 10:18:28 pm »

It's very annoying when you have two bluetooth speakers, and the only one you can find is the one with the godawful sound quality, and you want to have a bath to the sound of 80s legends Talk Talk.

Deano · « **Reply #1310 on:** 05 August, 2016, 10:20:01 pm »

Never mind - life's what you make it.

Ruthie · « **Reply #1311 on:** 05 August, 2016, 10:20:45 pm »

oh god

hellymedic · « **Reply #1312 on:** 09 August, 2016, 02:36:07 pm »

My Graze box does not appear to have arrived.
I have checked its contents online.

madcow · « **Reply #1313 on:** 09 August, 2016, 07:29:17 pm »

Does that make you feel less hungry or more?
Virtual eating-it's the future.

hellymedic · « **Reply #1314 on:** 10 August, 2016, 12:23:02 am »

Neither. My kitchen is well-stocked without my Graze box.
I will have to nibble grissini..

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #1315 on:** 10 August, 2016, 01:05:42 pm »

My Cawston Press cucumber & mint fizzy pop had a flimsy ringpull which detached from the can, so I had to punch my way in with my housekeys.

Torslanda · « **Reply #1316 on:** 10 August, 2016, 02:09:25 pm »

Have you claimed for trauma counselling? PTSD is not a trivial condition . . .

Tim Hall · « **Reply #1317 on:** 10 August, 2016, 04:01:36 pm »

There seems to be insufficient bandwidth in my office for me to keep; an eye on C Froome and G Thomas in the time trial.

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #1318 on:** 10 August, 2016, 04:32:20 pm »

Having set personal bests on strava on my lunchtime run, I've pulled a calf muscle.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1319 on:** 10 August, 2016, 05:25:07 pm »

Quote from: Tim Hall on 10 August, 2016, 04:01:36 pm

There seems to be insufficient bandwidth in my office for me to keep; an eye on C Froome and G Thomas in the time trial.

Ph3ar n0t, little loony lad, for has been watching the TT so you don't have to.

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #1320 on:** 10 August, 2016, 06:35:40 pm »

I can't find my panel pins. Will my pain never end?

spesh · « **Reply #1321 on:** 10 August, 2016, 06:41:19 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 10 August, 2016, 05:25:07 pm

Quote from: Tim Hall on 10 August, 2016, 04:01:36 pm
There seems to be insufficient bandwidth in my office for me to keep; an eye on C Froome and G Thomas in the time trial.

Ph3ar n0t, little loony lad, for has been watching the TT so you don't have to.

I think you meant:

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 10 August, 2016, 05:25:07 pm

Ph3ar n0t, little loony lad, for P@nd3m1c® Pr0duct10nz™ has been watching the TT so you don't have to.

HTH.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1322 on:** 10 August, 2016, 08:14:36 pm »

Fondleslab...stubby peasant fingers...bah!

meddyg · « **Reply #1323 on:** 10 August, 2016, 08:52:05 pm »

" I've had to switch from eating venison to pheasant -
but it's turned out to be an absolute game changer!"

(stolen from Darren Walsh set @ Edin Fringe)

Torslanda · « **Reply #1324 on:** 10 August, 2016, 09:40:28 pm »

Knicked!